Kurlee Belle Founder Terrinique Pennerman Says Avoiding Negative People Is Also Self-Care
In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
Among the many lessons this pandemic has taught me, its recurring theme seems to revolve around boundaries. Personal, professional, but most importantly relational. I've always understood the concept theoretically but admittedly never took the time out to really recognize, set, and enforce my boundaries. And if 2020 has shown us anything, it's that life is too short to operate from the place of being unfulfilled and over-exerted. So when Kurlee Belle founder Terrinique Pennerman stressed to me the importance of putting major space between herself and negative Nancys as a way to preserve your peace––I was all ears. "Don't answer every time they call or change the subject if they bring up topics you do not like. Protect your mental space."
Wise words and sound wisdom from the Bahamian businesswoman.
Courtesy of Terrinique Pennerman
Kurlee Belle got its start in 2013 after Pennerman made the transition from relaxed to natural and saw that the abundance of luscious and naturally grown island ingredients were perfect for her hair. She began mixing recipes in her kitchen and soon found her natural curls thriving, wearing them with pride and confidence––stigma be damned. Since then, the brand has expanded into over 1,600 Sally Beauty stores and is available in the Bahamas, UK, Jamaica, Paris, and beyond. And even with a global pandemic rocking Black-owned businesses especially hard, things have yet to slow down for the Duke University MBA grad. In fact, Kurlee Belle's e-commerce and retail sales have skyrocketed ever since by a whopping 997% year-to-date and 100% in the last month, respectively.
When asked what she attributes this massive success to, she tells me that nobility and strategy played a major role. "Coupled with the fact that we are a long-standing brand of integrity, our expansion in Sally Beauty and hiring more talent to work on specific parts of the business is what assisted with the upswing. I would [strongly] encourage business owners to stay consistent in their business. If there is an area that has been proven to be successful, focus your attention on that area to reach higher heights."
View this post on InstagramA post shared by KurleeBelle (@kurleebelle) on Oct 10, 2020 at 7:05pm PDT
She continues, "If you offer a superior product or service that you believe in, the customers will find you if you do not give up. If you have to offer your services on a smaller scale than you did prior to the pandemic, then do that, but do not give up. We can do many things in this life and if you have to work a second job to take care of your family, do what you need to do, but do not give up on your business because of a temporary setback."
In this conversation, we talk with Terrinique about balancing her business, prioritization, and self-care.
Read on for more.
xoNecole: At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause?
Terrinique Perniman: About two years ago when I had my daughter. I was used to doing life on my terms but she came along and taught me patience and that I should stop and enjoy the moment.
What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of?
I wake up around 5:30, hit the gym for an hour, make breakfast, answer emails, go over my to-do list and wait for my daughter to wake up before we leave the house. I go to the office, check more emails, and run errands. After work, we go to the park so that my daughter can run around, then we go home and eat dinner. When she is asleep, I plan for the next day: to-do lists, emails, etc., turn on Netflix and fall asleep.
Courtesy of Terrinique Pernnerman
What are your mornings like?
Mornings consist of getting in a workout, sitting in silence with a cup of tea while my daughter sleeps, spending time with God, checking over my to-do list, and priorities for the day.
How do you wind down at night?
I wind down by taking a hot, steamy bath—the hotter, the better. [After that] I slip into comfortable pajamas, read a book, or turn a good show on Netflix or Hulu.
When you have a busy week, what’s the most hectic part of it?
Remembering to do everything. I write things down in my notepad or use Notes on my phone. For me, it is important to keep lists, prioritize what needs to be done first and check off after completed. I try not to store my to-do list in my head.
Do you practice any types of self-care? What does that look like for you?
I am all about self-care. I love to get my nails done, so I will pop into my local nail salon that serves wine while they serve you. Or I will book a massage at one of the luxury hotels on South Beach or Downtown Miami. Self-care for me is also just sitting in nature and observing. We go to the park a lot, so I like to find a shaded tree, feel the grass and dirt under my hands and feet, and just be still.
What advice do you have for busy women who feel like they don’t have time for self-care?
Self-care is really just taking some time out for yourself. In the evenings when you wind down, put on a cheap $1 mask from Sephora with a glass of wine. Drive the scenic route back home. Take a walk outside without your phone. Just sit and enjoy your loved ones without distractions. Avoiding negative people is also self-care—do not answer every time they call or change the subject if they bring up topics you do not like. Protect your mental space.
Courtesy of Terrinique Pernnerman
"Avoiding negative people is also self-care—do not answer every time they call or change the subject if they bring up topics you do not like. Protect your mental space."
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
Friends, most of my friends are childhood friends that live in different cities and countries. We check in every week or sometimes daily just to keep each other on our toes through FaceTime, WhatsApp, etc.
Love/Relationships?
I'm still figuring this one out.
Exercise?
Exercise is a must for me. I feel my best when I have exercised, so if I can't make it to the gym, I will walk/run around the park or do anything that makes me active.
Do you ever detox? What does that look like?
Yes, I do. I detox mentally and physically by prayer and fasting. This helps me become aligned with what God wants for me and refreshes me physically.
Lastly, what does success mean/look like for you?
Success to me is being happy and being able to provide for my family. Success to me is liking yourself as a person and being good to others.
For more of Terrinique, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image by Terrinique Pernnerman.
Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
Meet The Designer Behind This Megan Thee Stallion "Hiss" Video Look
When Megan Thee Stallion dropped “Hiss,” a shift happened. From the audacious lyrics to the striking visuals, there was no doubt that the song and video would go viral. The opening of the video shows the H-town hottie rocking a barely there Shibari red dress, showing off her voluptuous frame. It was a sexy moment created by Timeekah Murphy of Alani Taylor. The designer exclusively tells us how the opportunity came about and what it was like seeing her design on Megan for the first time.
Timeekah Murphy
Photo courtesy
xoNecole: How did the opportunity to create such an iconic look for Megan Thee Stallion's "Hiss" video come about?
Timeekah Murphy: The opportunity came from a DM from celebrity stylist Zerina Akers. She asked for a unique Shibari piece for Megan, and I needed to get it done in two days. So, of course, I did everything in my power to make it happen. I've always wanted to design for Megan, so this was an awesome opportunity for me.
xoN: What was that initial feeling of seeing the dress on her for the first time?
TM: I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
xoN: Did you meet her? If so, how was that moment?
TM: I didn't meet Megan during the shoot, but during my time in LA, I got the opportunity to meet her at LA Pride with Tiffany Haddish, Common, and EJ King (stylist). Megan is such an amazing person, so it made it even better to know that my designs were going to be worn by her. I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
"I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her."
Photo courtesy
xoN: Walk us through the creation of the dress. How did you come up with the look, and how long did it take to make it?
TM: I was the co-designer for a brand called Deviant in 2018-2020, and we used to make custom Shibari pieces. That's how Zerina knew me. So I'm very familiar with making these types of pieces. We made plenty for Beyoncé, Cardi B, Tiffany Haddish, Tyra Banks, and so many others. So Zerina knew exactly what she wanted.
To get it done, it took me a day and a half. It's very intricate and time-consuming, so I spent about six hours making it then I sent an image of it to Zerina, and she didn't approve the first one, so I had to start from scratch again after getting my guidance and understanding of what was needed. The next day, I went to The Lab and created another version, and she approved it. I had to get it shipped overnight so that she would get it in time and fast forward to seeing it on the big screen.
xoN: What's next for you?
TM: Everything. The sky is not my limit, so the Alani Taylor brand is expanding into so many different avenues. We are getting involved in the community more, offering sewing classes to the youth. I've opened up a store for my brand in Atlanta and now preparing for fall/winter Fashion Week.
Megan Thee Stallion "Hiss" video/ YouTube
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Dating Apps Are Out, Meeting People IRL Is In — And Here’s How To Do It.
Whoever coined the phrase, “If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it,” certainly was not referring to the state of our dating scene. Whether online or in real life, you don't have to go far to hear the grievances of singles calling for the immediate repair of all leaks, cracks, and fractures in the dating pool.
No matter the state you live in, your age, how much you earn for a living, or if you’re a chronic app dater, there’s a general consensus that something (anything) must be done to restore the hope of singles looking for long-term, fulfilling relationships. And as many of us hold on to the hope for an unexpected cross-encounter with our next love story, others are leaning on the side of giving up completely. But before throwing in the towel, it might be time to make a few adjustments.
Dating Apps Are In Their Flop Era, Making Connections IRL Is Where It's At
Alistair Berg/Getty Images
Many singles agree that spending their leisure time swiping through dating apps is out. What’s in is stepping out of one's comfort zone to make connections in the real world. Scary. We know. But unless you were one of the lucky few to find love on dating apps before its flop era or made a love connection from home during the pandemic, going about your dating life the same way is bound to render the same results: being single with a headache. And we want better for you.
It’s safe to say that constantly meeting strangers off the internet for a chance to find love has lost its charm, leaving singles open to the train, farmer’s market, the gym, or a friend’s house party to be prime real estate for matching up with potential partners.
This shift, as Marissa Nelson, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and BLK’s Relationship and Intimacy Expert tells xoNecole, is due in part to a growing concern about the authenticity of online profiles — in other words: is what you’re seeing, in fact, what you’re getting? “From their profile picture, what they say they do, the height they say they are; it’s this fear of, ‘Am I really talking to who I think I'm speaking to?'” she explains.
On our journey to finding “the one” out in the real world, a common question is, “Where do you find the available singles?” The short answer is, everywhere. The long answer is at the grocery store, on a plane, during happy hours, at work, at a conference, on a solo vacation, or, as Nelson puts it, anywhere you are showing up as your most open and vulnerable self.
“You never know where the connection is going to come from, which is why it's even more important to be receptive, to stay open, be curious, and lean into your vulnerability,” she says. In fact, Nelson encourages singles to release themselves of the rigidity around finding the perfect person at the “perfect” place, because, in essence, there isn’t one. “We have to let go of the constraints that we can only go to singles events to meet people,” she says. “We have to be open to however love shows up.”
"We have to let go of the constraints that we can only go to singles events to meet people. We have to be open to however love shows up."
We all can relate to the fact that the idea of shooting our shot in real life is a lot more exciting than the actual act. The relationship expert explains that one of the greatest hesitations to us putting ourselves out there and taking a chance on love is rooted in the fear of rejection. However, it’s important to keep in mind that “we’ve all been hurt” and most importantly, “we’re all afraid of rejection.”
That’s why Nelson suggests the following strategies to make the first move and find love in your everyday life.
1. Don't close yourself off.
“When you relax your expectations, you start to meet really cool people. Some of those cool people became friends and that makes your life richer because now, you have new friends and great people to hang out with. Even if it wasn't a love match, it can become a significant or meaningful friendship.”
2. Don't let your "type" hold you back.
“We all have a type. And a lot of women will say, ‘I like them tall. I like them like this or that.’ When we’re rigid about who we believe we ought to be with versus being open to people who might be more aligned with our values, we close ourselves off. Sure, you're not going to date somebody that you are absolutely not attracted to. But people have a lot of unwritten rules around who they will allow themselves to get to know, and I challenge people to challenge their rules because that can hold you back from expansive experiences.”
skynesher/Getty Images
3. Make the first move.
“I think that if we can be bold, be brave, and if there's somebody that's good-looking, catches your eye, or just seems like they have a good vibe, we can approach them with curiosity. Ask them how they're doing. Introduce yourself. It doesn't have to lead to all these things; you can just have chemistry and flow from there.”
4. Ask better questions.
“When you meet someone for the first time, asking them ‘What do you do?’ is not the best first question because that only tells you what they do for money, not necessarily what they're passionate about. To get insight into who that person truly is, ask: What are you passionate about in your life right now? What lights you up? What excites you? What are you working towards?”
5. Shift your mindset.
“We've all been hurt. And we can be guarded because we don't want to get hurt again. The brain is a very complex and brilliant system designed to keep us safe, and emotional survival is a real thing. We become super protective, and in that, we come up with a lot of different rules, paradigms, [and] belief systems. The biggest mindset shift is: how can we do our own work to know and believe that we are worthy and deserving of love.”
Whether you’re on a dating app or roaming your local Trader Joe’s, love is everywhere — and the abundance of love is available to us once we remove limiting beliefs that make it feel scarce and out of reach. Vulnerability, shedding our walls, and openness just might be the tweaks we need to snitch up the dating streets and watch it heal for the better.
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Featured image by LeoPatrizi/Getty Images