Kelis Sold Her House In California To Buy A Farm
It's not every day that we hear about a multi-platinum star giving up her million dollar home to live on a farm. Singer Kelis has always been the type that dances to the rhythm of her own drum, and now being a 38-year-old mother of two, it's still the same truth. In 2003, she brought us Milkshakes and now, eclairs and creme brulee. As a Le Cordon Bleu Paris-trained chef, Kelis has redirected her lifestyle from glamour and award shows to wholesome meals with sustainable foods. Her next trendsetting move is selling her million-dollar 1920s home in Glendale to purchase a farm, to grow and sustain the very foods that she cooks with for her family.
Kelis' move to sell her home and purchase land for farming is her act of taking control to provide a healthier lifestyle for her two sons and her husband:
"Now that I've got these two boys, I want to control a little bit more how we eat. We're buying a farm, so that's why we're moving: so that we can grow everything and sustain everything that way."
After topping charts and being married to one of the most influential rap artists of our time, Kelis decided to switch up the tempo and enroll in culinary school back in 2008. Since she was little, she was always in the kitchen with her mother who owned a catering business which helped to develop Kelis' love for food. (And suddenly, the song "Milkshake" isn't so out of context anymore.) Her time training was fulfilling enough for her to put music to the side and pursue a life of food.
"It opened up my life, made me feel like I can do something else. This was the first time no one cared that I sold this many records or that I am sort of famous, and it was a relief. When I graduated, the chef said, 'We thought you were going to be a total bitch, but you worked really hard and we're proud to say you went here.' It was one of the best decisions I've ever made."
Since graduating culinary school, Kelis has launched a line of sauces, has been featured frequently on the Cooking Channel, released a book My Life On A Plate in 2015, and is now taking the steps towards becoming a trailblazer in sustainable agriculture. Kelis' love of food is evident through her talent, but teaches us that it's okay to have more than one love in life when it comes to your career, passions, or goals.
This next move for her is solidifying that you can make instrumental moves as a trendsetting boss, even if the beat of your drum sounds different than what everyone is used to. In 2014, she talked about her career switch to Esquire:
"It was life-changing, not because I learned to cook there, but because I was able to focus on something new. I was able to realize that I make music because I love it, not because I have to, and that there are other things that I do just as well, if not better, that bring me as much passion and joy and satisfaction."
Featured image via NOWNESS/YouTube still
- Kelis Skin Care, Secret To Radiant Skin - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Kelis California Farm Tour, Bounty & Full - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Kelis Buying a Farm, Selling Glendale House | PEOPLE.com ›
- Kelis Buying A Farm To Lead More Sustainable Life - AllHipHop.com ›
- Kelis Takes Us on a Tour of Her Renovated 1920s Glendale Home ... ›
- Kelis is a farmer now | Dazed ›
- kelis loves food so much she's becoming a farmer - i-D ›
- Kelis Says She's Selling Her California Home Plans to Buy a Farm ... ›
Olivia Jade is a writer and creative engineer, intersecting wellness, culture, womanism, and self-development. She waters the flowers in her mind so others can recognize their own internal garden. Link up: @akaoliviajade (Twitter and IG) oliviajade.co
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images