Keke Palmer Talks Being The ‘Queen Of Memes’ And Gives Advice To Little Black Girls
Thanks to social media, Keke Palmer’s acting has taken on a new phase in the form of memes. The Nope actress’s facial expressions and hilarious commentary have been used numerous times, but one of her most memorable memes came from Vanity Fair’s Lie Detector series. In the Sept. 2019 video, the I Don’t Belong to You author had to identify former vice president Dick Cheney, to which she replied with the famous words that made her go viral. “I hate to say it, I hope I don’t sound ridiculous...I don’t know who this man is. I mean, he could be walking down the street, I wouldn’t know a thing. Sorry to this man.”
“Didn’t you use to talk to—“
— Mel (@TheBaddestMitch) September 13, 2019
Me: pic.twitter.com/5vF7ra2SpE
Since becoming a viral sensation, Keke has continued living up to her fan-given nickname Keke “Keep a Job” Palmer and launched a digital network called KeyTV. In her interview with Net-a-Porter, the former child actress opened up about her career such as being the “queen of memes.”
“I think it’s really sweet and cool that people see me that way,” she said. “A meme is a meme because you relate to it. And, sometimes, I have experiences in my life when I don’t feel like people can relate to me, because I’m an entertainer, or they have a certain idea of what my life is like. So I love the idea that, when someone’s looking at one of my memes, they’re just seeing me as a normal person.”
The former talk show host likes to keep some kind of normalcy in her life when she isn’t Keke, the brand. “Keke Palmer is also that everyday girl who is just living and wanting the same things we all want – a family, a time for a personal life away from work, time with her nieces and nephews and her mom,” she explained. “And wanting to take road trips in a trailer to continue my Midwestern roots of enjoying the simplicity of life.”
Fans have watched the Alice star grow up in Hollywood and whether she’s on-screen or off-screen, Keke has been viewed as a positive role model. She has accomplished so much in her young years, from making history as the youngest person to have her own talk show to being the first Black Cinderella on Broadway but this just may be the tip of the iceberg for the 29-year-old.
“My thirties are probably going to be better than my twenties… There was a lot going down [in my twenties], but you learn so much,” she said. “You feel so grown, but you’re really still a kid – learning and figuring things out. I’m looking for my thirties to be a breeze.”
She also gave advice to girls who may be interested in following in her footsteps. “In my position, the biggest thing I want to tell all little girls is to never carry the weight of being Black, or being dark-skinned, as something that’s going to hold you back,” she said.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images
