Cooking Was This Boss Woman's Saving Grace From Depression
Kachelle Kelly is more than an accomplished author.
In fact, she holds titles like business and empowerment coach, motivational speaker, strategic project planner because of her undying dedication to inspire men and women to utilize social media, productivity, and lifestyle applications. The ultimate goal is to achieve more balance, be more productive, and grow their business.
With mantras like "Activate Your Hustle," Kelly realizes that going after your dreams and visions by eliminating distractions requires sacrifices. Kelly is a believer that you can win at life. That includes having a thriving career and cooking some bomb meals. You just have to find your sweet spot.
We had the chance to chat with this boss babe. Check out some of the inspiration and tips she shared.
You have relationships with major brands like Moet & Chandon, Dr. Pepper, Weight Watchers and Proctor & Gamble. What do you believe the key is to sustaining these relationships?
When I worked with those brands, it was not only important to understand their values and goals, but also be innovative in creating initiatives throughout their demographics. Not being afraid to pitch fresh ideas, think outside the box and ultimately recognized by senior management. While I no longer work with these companies, I'm proud of the marks I left in my tenure.
August 25th has been declared Kachelle Kelly Pray Day in your hometown of Houston, Texas. How does this make you feel?
Humbling but proud. Boss Women Pray and Boss Men Pray, my prayer guides for entrepreneurs, was a God idea that I obeyed. Selling over 16,000 copies as a self-published author, from my own marketing efforts, no team or PR, it was a labor of love. And to be recognized at home for my contribution in pioneering the thought of incorporating faith and business is an incredible legacy building feeling.
Your first book, Pretty Painful, was all about the beauty found within. How did you come to write this literary work?
I was watching Oprah a few times when she interviewed Halle Berry, Vanessa Williams, and Janet Jackson. All three [women] began to talk about the personal pain in their lives and Oprah's response was the stereotypical thinking of so many, "But you are the most beautiful talent, Miss America and from the most famous family?" And my friends and I experienced the same on a smaller scale, of course. People not seeing past our looks into the incredible pain we dealt with. Being prejudged and measured by everything from our outer appearance, success, clothes, etc. and if not checked, living with a sense of entitlement. While I wrote that book in 2004, it is more prevalent today with social media.
So many "pretty" women clearing [and] navigating through some "Pretty Painful" stuff, dying on the inside! But the difference is, they are voluntarily associating their looks and material possessions to their self-worth and demeaning other women in the process. Pretty Painful was and is necessary to help women to do away with these masks and deal with issues no one sees behind the beauty. I answer the question, "Can Looks Really Kill?" And sadly, the answer is "yes." Only if you allow them, by suppressing who and WHOSE you are in God.
Do you think Pretty Painful is linked to Boss Women Cook?
I never really thought about that but yes. Boss Women Cook was my saving grace from depression and my need to decompress from anxiety through a controlled hobby. When I felt like nothing was going right with work, life or love, I perfected a recipe to feel better. It also debunks the stereotype that busy and/or "pretty" women don't cook! Helping women return to basic qualities deemed beneath them and nurturing family rather than on this constant race of being a "boss" to prove our worth.
Why is Boss Women Cook so important right now?
To my earlier point, cooking can serve as a therapeutic for busy women and men. Also, we have replaced a sense of family values and legacy with being a boss and materialism. Back in the day, it was a joy to watch your grandmother, mother, and aunts cook while bringing the family together. We've lost that over the years. Somehow, we have adopted the idea we have to choose between being domestic and being boss, we can be both.
"Somehow we have adopted the idea we have to choose between being domestic and being boss, we can be both."
What sets BWC apart from other cooking books?
It is geared towards the busy woman that would like to learn to cook, return to cooking, or adopt the value of family while continuing to be a boss. It features recipes and stories that helped me through my toughest times. I'm not a chef so I provide the basic steps from the perspective of a novice cook. I offer my personal cooking playlist on BossWomenCook.com, encouraging women to grab a glass of wine, jam to the music, and cook at the end of the day. The tone of the cookbook is relaxed and eliminates the pressure to be perfect because, while delicious, my cooking certainly is not.
To keep up with Kachelle Kelly, follow her on Instagram. Find Boss Women Cook as well as other books she's penned by clicking here. Check out a couple of Kelly's favorite recipes from her cookbook below:
Grilled Rosemary Lamb Chops
Recommended to have lamb chops cut without fat from butcher or grocery meat department.
The Ingredients:
- 2 large garlic cloves, crushed
- 1 tablespoon fresh rosemary leaves
- 1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves
- Ground pepper
- Pinch of cayenne pepper
- Coarse sea salt
- 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
- 6 lamb chops, about 3/4-inch thick
Cooking Steps:
- In a food processor fitted with a metal blade add the garlic, rosemary, thyme, cayenne, and salt. (mash together well if you don't have a food processor with mortars and pestles bowl)
- Pulse until combined.
- Pour in olive oil and pulse into a paste.
- Rub the paste on both sides of the lamb chops and let them marinate for at least 1 hour in the refrigerator.
- Remove from refrigerator and allow the chops to come to room temperature; it will take about 20 minutes.
- Heat a grill until almost smoking, add the chops and sear for about 4 minutes.
- Flip the chops over and cook for another 3 minutes for medium-rare, 3 1/2 minutes for medium and 4.5 minutes for medium-well.
- Let rest 2 minutes before serving
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
Meet The Designer Behind This Megan Thee Stallion "Hiss" Video Look
When Megan Thee Stallion dropped “Hiss,” a shift happened. From the audacious lyrics to the striking visuals, there was no doubt that the song and video would go viral. The opening of the video shows the H-town hottie rocking a barely there Shibari red dress, showing off her voluptuous frame. It was a sexy moment created by Timeekah Murphy of Alani Taylor. The designer exclusively tells us how the opportunity came about and what it was like seeing her design on Megan for the first time.
Timeekah Murphy
Photo courtesy
xoNecole: How did the opportunity to create such an iconic look for Megan Thee Stallion's "Hiss" video come about?
Timeekah Murphy: The opportunity came from a DM from celebrity stylist Zerina Akers. She asked for a unique Shibari piece for Megan, and I needed to get it done in two days. So, of course, I did everything in my power to make it happen. I've always wanted to design for Megan, so this was an awesome opportunity for me.
xoN: What was that initial feeling of seeing the dress on her for the first time?
TM: I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
xoN: Did you meet her? If so, how was that moment?
TM: I didn't meet Megan during the shoot, but during my time in LA, I got the opportunity to meet her at LA Pride with Tiffany Haddish, Common, and EJ King (stylist). Megan is such an amazing person, so it made it even better to know that my designs were going to be worn by her. I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
"I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her."
Photo courtesy
xoN: Walk us through the creation of the dress. How did you come up with the look, and how long did it take to make it?
TM: I was the co-designer for a brand called Deviant in 2018-2020, and we used to make custom Shibari pieces. That's how Zerina knew me. So I'm very familiar with making these types of pieces. We made plenty for Beyoncé, Cardi B, Tiffany Haddish, Tyra Banks, and so many others. So Zerina knew exactly what she wanted.
To get it done, it took me a day and a half. It's very intricate and time-consuming, so I spent about six hours making it then I sent an image of it to Zerina, and she didn't approve the first one, so I had to start from scratch again after getting my guidance and understanding of what was needed. The next day, I went to The Lab and created another version, and she approved it. I had to get it shipped overnight so that she would get it in time and fast forward to seeing it on the big screen.
xoN: What's next for you?
TM: Everything. The sky is not my limit, so the Alani Taylor brand is expanding into so many different avenues. We are getting involved in the community more, offering sewing classes to the youth. I've opened up a store for my brand in Atlanta and now preparing for fall/winter Fashion Week.
Megan Thee Stallion "Hiss" video/ YouTube
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Dating Apps Are Out, Meeting People IRL Is In — And Here’s How To Do It.
Whoever coined the phrase, “If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it,” certainly was not referring to the state of our dating scene. Whether online or in real life, you don't have to go far to hear the grievances of singles calling for the immediate repair of all leaks, cracks, and fractures in the dating pool.
No matter the state you live in, your age, how much you earn for a living, or if you’re a chronic app dater, there’s a general consensus that something (anything) must be done to restore the hope of singles looking for long-term, fulfilling relationships. And as many of us hold on to the hope for an unexpected cross-encounter with our next love story, others are leaning on the side of giving up completely. But before throwing in the towel, it might be time to make a few adjustments.
Dating Apps Are In Their Flop Era, Making Connections IRL Is Where It's At
Alistair Berg/Getty Images
Many singles agree that spending their leisure time swiping through dating apps is out. What’s in is stepping out of one's comfort zone to make connections in the real world. Scary. We know. But unless you were one of the lucky few to find love on dating apps before its flop era or made a love connection from home during the pandemic, going about your dating life the same way is bound to render the same results: being single with a headache. And we want better for you.
It’s safe to say that constantly meeting strangers off the internet for a chance to find love has lost its charm, leaving singles open to the train, farmer’s market, the gym, or a friend’s house party to be prime real estate for matching up with potential partners.
This shift, as Marissa Nelson, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and BLK’s Relationship and Intimacy Expert tells xoNecole, is due in part to a growing concern about the authenticity of online profiles — in other words: is what you’re seeing, in fact, what you’re getting? “From their profile picture, what they say they do, the height they say they are; it’s this fear of, ‘Am I really talking to who I think I'm speaking to?'” she explains.
On our journey to finding “the one” out in the real world, a common question is, “Where do you find the available singles?” The short answer is, everywhere. The long answer is at the grocery store, on a plane, during happy hours, at work, at a conference, on a solo vacation, or, as Nelson puts it, anywhere you are showing up as your most open and vulnerable self.
“You never know where the connection is going to come from, which is why it's even more important to be receptive, to stay open, be curious, and lean into your vulnerability,” she says. In fact, Nelson encourages singles to release themselves of the rigidity around finding the perfect person at the “perfect” place, because, in essence, there isn’t one. “We have to let go of the constraints that we can only go to singles events to meet people,” she says. “We have to be open to however love shows up.”
"We have to let go of the constraints that we can only go to singles events to meet people. We have to be open to however love shows up."
We all can relate to the fact that the idea of shooting our shot in real life is a lot more exciting than the actual act. The relationship expert explains that one of the greatest hesitations to us putting ourselves out there and taking a chance on love is rooted in the fear of rejection. However, it’s important to keep in mind that “we’ve all been hurt” and most importantly, “we’re all afraid of rejection.”
That’s why Nelson suggests the following strategies to make the first move and find love in your everyday life.
1. Don't close yourself off.
“When you relax your expectations, you start to meet really cool people. Some of those cool people became friends and that makes your life richer because now, you have new friends and great people to hang out with. Even if it wasn't a love match, it can become a significant or meaningful friendship.”
2. Don't let your "type" hold you back.
“We all have a type. And a lot of women will say, ‘I like them tall. I like them like this or that.’ When we’re rigid about who we believe we ought to be with versus being open to people who might be more aligned with our values, we close ourselves off. Sure, you're not going to date somebody that you are absolutely not attracted to. But people have a lot of unwritten rules around who they will allow themselves to get to know, and I challenge people to challenge their rules because that can hold you back from expansive experiences.”
skynesher/Getty Images
3. Make the first move.
“I think that if we can be bold, be brave, and if there's somebody that's good-looking, catches your eye, or just seems like they have a good vibe, we can approach them with curiosity. Ask them how they're doing. Introduce yourself. It doesn't have to lead to all these things; you can just have chemistry and flow from there.”
4. Ask better questions.
“When you meet someone for the first time, asking them ‘What do you do?’ is not the best first question because that only tells you what they do for money, not necessarily what they're passionate about. To get insight into who that person truly is, ask: What are you passionate about in your life right now? What lights you up? What excites you? What are you working towards?”
5. Shift your mindset.
“We've all been hurt. And we can be guarded because we don't want to get hurt again. The brain is a very complex and brilliant system designed to keep us safe, and emotional survival is a real thing. We become super protective, and in that, we come up with a lot of different rules, paradigms, [and] belief systems. The biggest mindset shift is: how can we do our own work to know and believe that we are worthy and deserving of love.”
Whether you’re on a dating app or roaming your local Trader Joe’s, love is everywhere — and the abundance of love is available to us once we remove limiting beliefs that make it feel scarce and out of reach. Vulnerability, shedding our walls, and openness just might be the tweaks we need to snitch up the dating streets and watch it heal for the better.
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Featured image by LeoPatrizi/Getty Images