July is the month to focus on allowing yourself to receive. There are beautiful opportunities for blessings this month when you can get out of your own way, and release self-doubt. With Cancer Season here, emotions are flowing, love is showing up, and home is wherever your happiness is. The power of attraction is strong this month as Pallas enters Gemini on July 4 as well, and deep insights are prevailing. July is the time to gain the clarity and answers you have been looking for, and decide where to move forward from there.
On July 5, Mars moves into Taurus until August 20, and there is strong importance on values, comfort, family, satisfaction, and safety right now. While Mars is in Taurus we are motivated to accumulate and indulge a little. Taurus makes us balance our checkbooks, but this sign also loves their pleasure, and with Jupiter moving retrograde this month, we have been reminded of the importance of non-overindulgence. Mars is overall here to give you a clear view of what happiness feels and looks like to you and to allow more of this heart-centered energy into your life, with balance.
Mercury transits both Cancer and Leo this month, and while Mercury is in Cancer until July 19, communications are colored with a more emotional display. Sensitivities are heightened, and overall the gifts are in speaking from the heart right now and gaining emotional understanding. Once Mercury moves into Leo towards the end of the month, the focus turns to self-expression, personal passion, and defining your personal truths. The Full Moon of July is occurring in Capricorn on July 13 and is the Full Buck Moon of the year. This Full Moon is a time to get grounded, release old stories that restrict your beliefs today, write a list of gratitude, and remember what holds value for you.
Chiron and Jupiter both go retrograde in Aries this month at the end of July, and there is healing and divine contemplation that wants to take place now. Over the next few months, revelations will be taking place, and your worldview expands as Jupiter retrograde brings things front and center to be addressed before moving forward again. Jupiter retrograde is about preparing for blessings, redefining your intentions for them, and gaining some spiritual insight through it all. The New Moon in Leo on July 28 is making sure the month ends with a dramatic flair, and fireworks are appearing. The more you keep the faith and believe you deserve all good things this month, the more you are aligned with what is.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAries July 2022 Horoscope
Life is moving forward, and you are journeying through new experiences this month, Aries. July is a time of awakening for you, and a space where you are moving through an energetic shift in your life. Things are changing, but it’s nothing your free spirit can’t fully take advantage of. This is the month to expand your worldview and to see where new perspectives will take you. Everything comes together when you can trust yourself and the doors that are opening for you now.
Chiron and Jupiter are currently transiting through your sign, and they both go retrograde this month. On July 19, Chiron, the wounded healer, will enter retrograde in Aries until December 23, and Jupiter in Aries will go retrograde on July 28 until November 23. You are in the process of completing one cycle and manifesting another. You are in a major cleanse this month and are making space for happiness to continue to grow.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTaurus July 2022 Horoscope
July is a month of release, and recovery for you, Taurus. You are seeing some goals and achievements come to fruition right now, and you are also moving through a space of healing from the past and what it’s taken to get you here. Your guidance for the month is to give yourself kindness and safety as you move through this growth process in your life and to believe in the intentions you are seeding right now.
With Mars entering Taurus at the start of the month from July 5 until August 20, you have passion and stamina on your side right now. The energy is with you to see some important goals through, and with Mars in your sign over the next month, you have the inspiration and motivation to do so. July is your month of releasing yourself from the past, gaining a new vision, and reclaiming your power, and success.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGemini July 2022 Horoscope
July is all about gaining insight and getting the answers you have been looking for, Gemini. There is incredible wisdom and insight to grab ahold of this month, and the clarity is flowing in your life. You are being guided to speak up for what you believe in, and to show up for your unique ideas and perspectives. Pallas enters Gemini from July 4 until September 6, further enhancing the coming together and inner clarity you are experiencing this month.
Your ruling planet Mercury will be moving through your 2nd house of finances until July 19, and your mind is flowing where the money is going. This is a good month to get organized, go over your finances, and plan for the future. The New Moon in Leo on the 28th before the month ends is your time of receiving important messages and following the signs. The clarity that is coming into your life in July is game-changing, Gemini.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCancer July 2022 Horoscope
This month is all about allowing. Cancer, July is your season, and this Cancer Season is all about opening up to receive the beautiful blessings that are flowing towards you this month. You are an intuitive Moonchild, and this month you are connecting to this sensitive strength of yours. Remember the gift of your existence, and allow others to recognize and appreciate you this month, Cancer.
Mercury enters your sign on July 5 until July 19, and Venus enters Cancer on July 17 until August 11, making July a time where you are gaining mental clarity, having important conversations, moving around, and also a month where you are feeling the love. With the Full Moon happening mid-month also occurring in your 7th house of love and relationships, the universe has one mission for you this month Cancer: for you to know how loved you are and to feel that within.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLeo July 2022 Horoscope
July is all about opening the heart, Leo. You are rising above previous doubts and concerns, and claiming your power in all situations. This is the month to believe in your dreams and to believe in the gifts of love. There have been challenges you have had to move through this year, a lot of them unexpected, but that doesn’t mean you will have to continue to live on a rollercoaster when there is solid ground for you to walk on right now.
July is a powerful month for you overall, with Leo Season beginning this month. This year Mercury will be entering Leo from July 19 until August 4, Leo Season begins on July 22, and there is New Moon in Leo on July 28. July is a month of recognizing the opportunities and peace that comes from letting go of restrictions and allowing yourself to be loved and blessed by the divine, Leo.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVirgo July 2022 Horoscope
This is a month of rejuvenation and bringing things into divine order, Virgo. Positive resolutions and outcomes are happening for you in July, and this is the month to believe in a miracle. Don’t dismiss the possibilities of something really good happening this month, and keep your eyes open for a helping hand. You deserve more time and space to just be. This month is about learning the truth and beauty of doing less and gaining more.
Friendships, community, your network, and where you see yourself going from here are all key themes for you in July. This is a month of forming new connections and strengthening ones that have remained unmoved through the transitions of this year. You are recharging your spirit this month and with a Full Moon in a fellow earth sign, Capricorn, happening in your 5th house of romance this month, July is sure to be full of pleasant surprises.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra July 2022 Horoscope
Trust the process, Libra. July is all about remaining in your peace and finding your balance through what is becoming. You are thinking a lot about your career goals, achievements, and responsibilities in the home space. Finding the balance between all the things you want to do and be can be difficult at times, and this month is about giving yourself the time to figure out what works for you and your divine flow right now.
The Full Moon this month is occurring in your 4th house of home and family, and this is a good time of the month to declutter, cleanse the home, rest, and regain your center. A few days later, your ruling planet Venus moves into your 10th house of career, and you are evolving into some new spheres of success this month. Before July ends, there is a New Moon in your house of friendships, and you are feeling a new sense of support in life moving into August.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleScorpio July 2022 Horoscope
July is about recalling your power, Scorpio. You have the divine insight to move through previous challenges and obstacles, and paths are clearing for you this month. There is a deep understanding that is coming into your world in July, and what is coming full circle for you now is everything needed to feel protected and grounded moving forward. This month is about allowing yourself to live by your standards and your truths, and doing so confidently.
The Full Moon on the 13th of this month is moving through your house of the mind, and with this being a Full Moon, you are seeing with clear eyes. The clarity is there, and Venus moving into your 9th house of spirituality and adventure a few days later, is birthing new ideas and opportunities into your life. Before July ends Jupiter goes retrograde in your 6th house, and you are focused on your personal healing and empowerment as the month ends.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSagittarius July 2022 Horoscope
July is a month of a river of blessings flowing into your life, Sagittarius. You have set yourself up for success and this is the month of experiencing more of those treasured moments. Powerful blessings and manifestations are appearing for you now, and the universe is giving you a big YES to proceed forward. You have listened to your intuition and lived by your personal truths, and have moved into some fortunate circumstances.
The Leo New Moon on the 28th is a passionate affair that you can get on board with, and this New Moon is fueling your sense of adventure and excitement. By the end of the month, you are setting your intentions for the future, and dreaming up the most divine vacations your soul can think of. Your ruling planet Jupiter goes retrograde on the same day until November, and you are being reminded as well, of the importance of following your bliss balanced with logic.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCapricorn July 2022 Horoscope
July is a month of rising above and coming together in love, Capricorn. Soulmate connections are moving into your life this month, and you are connecting with the gifts of clarity of the heart. You have found an inner peace that is both strengthening and also vulnerable, and it’s attracting new experiences for you in love. This is the month to let go of what was, and live in the beauty of what is here today.
Mid-July there is a Full Moon in your sign on July 13. This Full Moon is a time of personal revelation for you, and also a time where you are closing a major chapter in your life. Take as much time as you need with your healing and growth, and trust that where you are going from here is so much better than where you have been. Venus enters your house of love a few days later, and it’s about showing up for divine partnerships right now.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAquarius July 2022 Horoscope
July is a dynamic month for you, Aquarius. Some deep transformations are taking place this month, and you are living in your wisdom, empowerment, and passion. You are being reminded this month that you are divinely protected with every step you take in life and that you can create some major breakthroughs in your life with the power of belief. July is about being fearless in your pursuits, and about allowing your truth and wisdom to shine.
The Full Moon happening mid-month is occurring in your 12th house of endings, dreams, and the subconscious, and you are ready to let go of what hasn’t served right now. You are releasing old patterns and limitations, and allowing your blessings to unfold. By the end of the month, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign of Leo, and this New Moon is a time of new developments in love. July is all about taking your time and going at your own pace while light unfolds.
PiscesLaci Jordan for xoNecolePisces July 2022 Horoscope
July is all about the universe fueling your world with divine support, love, and compassion. This month is a time of nurturing yourself and what you are bringing to fruition right now, Pisces. There is support with you as you take some time to sort through what is and figure out where your heart stands now. July is all about releasing yourself from any attachments to outcomes and allowing the path of least resistance.
With one of your ruling planets, Jupiter, going retrograde on the same day as the Leo New Moon this month on July 28, you are finding the balance between what you need to allow some more time to unfold, and what you are moving forward with now. It’s about giving yourself the grace to move through this time and about speaking up for yourself and what you need as well. Remember how supported you are, Pisces.
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As again, I watched her try and navigate through both relationships as she strived to figure out which man would truly be the best fit for her, I thought about a question that I get emailed on a semi-regular basis. When you’ve been with someone for a while, when you have deep and profound feelings for them, and when you’re not sure if you’re just being “extra” or something really is “off” in the relational dynamic — how do you know if it’s time to stay vs. when it’s time to go?
Before we get all up into this, let me just say that I’m addressing this particular topic from the angle of NOT being married. Because I personally think that the covenant of marriage is way more sacred and serious than a dating situation, I would be giving some different advice for husbands and wives. Also, I’m not including the topic of abuse (neglect included) because I’m hoping it goes without saying that if any type or level of that is transpiring, you definitely need to bring things to a swift and permanent end.
With all of that out of the way, today, we’re going to explore seven questions that you should ask yourself in the instance that you just can’t seem to “scratch the itch” on whether you should remain with your bae…because while nothing is actually “bad,” things are not as good as they used to be either. And since time is precious and you don’t want to waste it, you want to make sure that you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
Are you ready to (hopefully) gain more clarity than you had before clicking on this article? Let’s do this.
1. Do I Get That Even Relationships Have “Seasons”?
GiphyEcclesiastes 3 starts out talking about the fact that there are times and seasons for everything. And you know what? Relationships are not exempt. The reason why I’ve written articles for the site like “The ‘Seasons Of Sex’ That Married People Go Through” is because everything in this life has seasons — you know, periods when things shift. When it comes to the weather, whether we like the season that we’re in or not, we simply adjust because…what choice do we have?
Oh, but when it comes to relationships, so many of us have been conditioned to think that things are supposed to remain one way (usually the way we want it to be), without fluctuating, the entire time, that when there is a season of distance, disconnect or misunderstanding, we automatically believe it’s our cue to bounce instead of taking some time to process if it’s simply a period for communicating, maturing and learning more about our partner.
Listen, there is no way that people can grow without it affecting those around them, especially the ones whom they are closest to. So, before you decide to end things with your significant other, talk to them about what’s going on so that both of you can figure out if you’re going through an unfamiliar or uncomfortable season or if things are transitioning in a way where the relational dynamic no longer serves one or both of you.
Because I’ll tell you what — the people who have mastered longevity in relationships know that just like the weather, sometimes there are things that you have to learn to be flexible about…because even if you’re not thrilled with how certain things are at the moment, just like the weather, oftentimes, those things will change. Just like summer isn’t forever and fall comes in due time.
Plus, if you’re someone who can adapt well, there are pros and cons with different seasons, too. For instance, if this is a season when your partner is working more hours or traveling more than usual, if the goal is to get promoted or stack bread, the extra time that you have for yourself could help you to create some more long-term or short-term goals, pick up a hobby or do some self-work. Then, by the time things level back out, you’ll both be better people because of the “season.” See what I mean?
2. Did I Go into This with Unrealistic or Unfair Expectations?
GiphyI’m gonna tell you, right out the gate, what an unrealistic or unfair expectation is: If you thought that things were always gonna go your way or you were gonna get what you want right when you want it. I can’t tell you how many people have pretty much worn me out in counseling sessions, and it’s all because they thought a relationship was a catering service — that them being happy all of the time was to be the top priority and non-negotiable goal.
WRONG.
Something that wisdom, maturing, and self-reflection will teach you is that one of the main purposes of a relationship is to be with someone you love, respect, enjoy, trust, and can rely on to help you become a better person as you do the same for them. And no, that is not always going to be a fairy tale. In fact, I have said on many occasions that I loathe fairy tales (for adults) because I know what they mean: a story told to children and/or an incredible and misleading account. And don’t even get me started on the women who profess that they are waiting on their Prince Charming. After all, the Bible tells us that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Does this mean that you shouldn’t expect to have your needs — and even some of your wants — met? Of course, you should. Yet your needs need to make (reachable) sense. And honestly, a lot of folks could stand to ask themselves if they are able to give their partner all of the things that they expect from them (because many cannot).
So, what are some examples of unrealistic/unfair expectations?
- Expecting your partner to think just like you do
- Expecting your partner to read your mind
- Expecting love to mean that you won’t have to compromise
- Expecting your partner to give above their means
- Expecting your partner to be the sole source of your happiness
- Expecting your partner to love you more or better than you love yourself
- Expecting your partner to put their own needs in jeopardy just to meet yours
- Expecting your partner to always agree with or concede to you
- Expecting your relationship to always have good times and no challenges
- Expecting your partner to be the only one to make sacrifices
- Expecting every expectation to be met
I really was on a roll while writing these out, yet I’m sure you get the gist. Being in a relationship with another human being means that they have their own opinions, perspectives, and expectations — and they aren’t always going to match yours. And so, if you think that the sign of a healthy relationship is that they should, you really should be alone instead of trying to be with someone else. Because that way of thinking is the most unrealistic of them all.
3. Are We Incompatible or Am I Just Impatient?
GiphyWhen you get a chance, please read, “If He's Right For You, He Will COMPLEMENT Your Life.” In another article, I’ll be addressing why love is not enough in relationships. For now, one of the reasons why that is the case is because you can LOVE a lot of people who you simply cannot DO LIFE with. That’s why it really is important to seriously ponder if you and he are compatible or not.
To be compatible means that you share similar values, have like-minded relational goals, want the same long-term things out of life, have at least some of the same interests, and complement each other well when it comes to things like communication and meeting each other’s needs.
Listen, I’ve loved a few men in my life where these boxes did not check off, and because of our feelings for each other, we stayed together far longer than we ever should’ve.
At the same time, what if you are compatible with someone, but you’re just impatient as hell? I’ve been watching the current season ofReady to Love, and there are some women on there who are mad pushy when it comes to the clock. Personally, I don’t even know how you can hop on a show where you just met some dudes and roll up on them talking about how you want to be married by the end of the year. Yeah, it’s another message for another time, the amount of people who are tied to a goal more than a person.
Anyway, sometimes your partner can be in the same chapter as you (love story-wise) yet still not necessarily on the same page. Meaning, say that you want to be married this year, and he wants to wait until this time next year — are you contemplating ending things without considering his frame of mind? Maybe he wants to save money. Maybe he’s trying to secure some things professionally first. Maybe he wants to give you the kind of wedding (and ring) you want without relying on credit to get it.
It's one thing to end a relationship because you both want different things out of life. Oh, but it’s completely different to bounce because you’re used to folks giving into your pressure, ultimatum, or time frames. I’m not the one who thinks that a good man is hard to come by; I know many. I do think finding YOUR FIT isn’t as easy as you might believe, though.
A Canadian writer by the name of Janette Oke once said, “Impatience can cause wise people to do foolish things,” and, to that, the Good Book says that “Loveis patient” (I Corinthians 13:4). If you’re gonna end something, make sure it’s because the puzzle pieces don’t fit; not because you’re too impatient to see how the pieces will create a beautiful picture…when the time is right.
4. Do I Still Love, Like and Respect Him?
GiphyThe married couples whom I work with know that I live by a certain, I guess you can call it a motto: “If you still like each other, you can get back to love.” Liking someone is about enjoying their personality, wanting to spend time with them, and having feelings that are rooted in friendship, acceptance, and appreciation. When those things are present and accounted for, all of the butterflies, googly eyes, and sheer lust that the feelings of love may provide — they can usually get you through the seasons when those feelings seem to be missing.
And respect? Listen, a lot of women get triggered by the fact that the Bible instructs husbands to love their wives while telling wives to respect — respect, not love — their husbands (Ephesians 5:33), yet you know what? If you’re gonna be real with yourself, you know that it’s hard to love a man who you don’t respect — who you don’t esteem. We’re simply not wired to trust a man who we don’t think will be a good provider, protector, and leader on some level.
Confession time: I stayed in a relationship with someone who I really liked, kind of loved, and absolutely did not respect (as a man) for quite some time, once upon a time. And all it did was make me resentful and him insecure — and that was a form of mental and emotional torture for both of us.
You’re not doing a man any favors by staying with him if you don’t respect him. And it doesn’t make sense to try and build a future with someone who you don’t like a ton. As far as love goes, love is a beautiful thing — very. All I’m saying is, like, love and respect are a package deal when it comes to how we see a man. If one of those things is missing, ask yourself why and then be honest about if anything can be done to change how you’re feeling or…not.
5. What Would Improve About My Life If I Leave?
GiphyThis right here. Although this article is for people who are dating and not married, I do think it would be beneficial to put on record that, on average, somewhere between 30-40 percent of people regret getting a divorce. I think one of the main reasons is because the person you were when going into a marriage isn’t the person you are leaving it. You’re older. Dating dynamics in society have changed (and are ever-changing). You probably have a different set of life circumstances that may make dating more challenging (for instance, you may have kids now, and it takes a very special person to be a good potential stepparent).
Unfortunately, a lot of people will leave a relationship without considering this, only to have the ice-cold water of reality hit them smack dab in the face.
Now listen, I will be the first person to say that one of the major perks of dating is you don’t have to try and put the same effort into your relationship as married folks do. In fact, all of these non-engaged folks who spend months and years in couples therapy to try and make things work? Unless you’re someone who is in a long-term relationship with no desire to ever get married (check out “12 Couples Reveal Why They're Happy With A Long-Term Commitment Instead Of Marriage”), I don’t even get why you’re going through all of the trouble (or is it drama?). Some people have acted married before marriage so often, they don’t take marriage seriously enough when it finally does happen for them. SMDH.
This is where this particular question comes in. When you’re just dating, you really don’t have to hold on for dear life. You’re not “failing” if you realize that someone really is awesome — just not the right or best fit for you. And the reason why you know this is because you can actually name more than three ways that your life would get better if you left them alone.
Maybe you’d feel less stressed out. Maybe you’d have more time to focus on some personal ambitions. Maybe you’re compromising some core values that you want to get back to. Maybe they have you questioning some things about yourself that you know you shouldn’t be. Sometimes it’s as simple as maybe you’re feeling like something/one is better for you, and you know you won’t find them while you’re still…where you’re at.
This particular question really is underrated on a lot of levels because, while a lot of people are out here ending relationships on an emotional impulse, when you know that you’re leaving because you have a literal list of how your life would improve if you did dip out, that makes grieving the relationship less painful and finding closure, on some levels, less necessary (as far as dragging things out are concerned).
6. What Would Be Beneficial If I Stay?
GiphyIf something (or one) isn’t making you better, it’s either keeping you stagnant or making you worse, and you know what? Neither of those are good. So yeah, it’s also wise to ask yourself how you would benefit — mind, body, and spirit — to stay where you’re at. And honestly, one of the best ways to figure out the answer to this question is to fully take in a relationship-based quote that I have shared on the platform before:
“As soon as the love relationship does not lead me to me, as soon as I in a love relationship do not lead another person to himself, this love, even if it seems to be the most secure and ecstatic attachment I have ever experienced, is not true love. For real love is dedicated to continual becoming.” (Leo Buscaglia)
When something (or someone) benefits you, they are helpful, they are useful, they are constructive. No, this does not speak to transactional dating (which is oftentimes very self-centered and mercenary); what this means is they are improving your quality of life — prayerfully, on several levels. And no, this does not mean that everything is easy all of the time, either.
Sometimes, what helps you is constructive criticism. Sometimes what’s useful for you is being challenged in ways you’ve never been before. Sometimes what’s constructive is learning how to be more flexible, understanding, and forgiving (umm, like you would want your partner to be towards you…right?).
So, just like you should ask yourself how you would get better if you left, be real about how you are becoming better by staying. This is where a good old-fashioned pros and cons list comes in super handy. If the “improve” outweighs the “beneficial,” if you know that you are not becoming more of who you need to be thanks, in part, to the influence of the relationship…well…I’m sure you get what I’m about to say…about that.
7. Have I Been Here Before?
GiphyA wise person once said, “Everywhere you go, there you are” and boy, can it be a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Something else that I’m a firm believer in is that the universe will keep you in the same “life class” for decades if needed, until you learn whatever it is that a particular lesson is trying to teach you. So, one more question: Before you decide to call it quits, how many times have you been in this same spot — the same kind of relationship? The same type of guy? The same kind of issues? The same type of break-up?
Because there is absolutely no point in abruptly chalking it up to, “It was all his fault…again,” just so you can find another man to say this about in another six months or a year. If you’ve been here before, take some time out to do some serious self-pondering as to why.
__________
Every action has a reaction; I’m pretty sure that you’ve heard that saying at least once before — and when it comes to ending a relationship, it is most definitely true. If you’re wondering if you should, honestly, that’s already a feeling that is trying to tell you something. However, now that you’ve read all of this, hopefully, you can take some actions that you will feel at peace about…and won’t regret.
Because if you’re gonna end something, it’s a good idea to know why, so you can feel truly at peace about doing it — and yes, I’m speaking from very up close and personal experience here. Get your internal answers. Move wisely from there, sis.
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