You've made your New Year's resolution. This is the year that you will finally get a new job. Whether your current job has been draining, unfulfilling, or just downright boring, you have made the decision that 2020 is the year things change. And honestly, you're not alone. According to a recent American Staffing Association (ASA) survey conducted by The Harris Poll, about 48% of employed adults plan to search for a new job this year. So almost half of the workforce is ready for a fresh start in the new decade.
But what do you need to do in order to make that career move this year? How do you ensure success in your search? Here are four tips to get your started:
Set Concrete Goals
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To start your search off on the right foot, you need to answer specific questions. This will help you to focus your efforts and prevent you from casting an overly wide net, while determining how you need to position yourself in the marketplace. Think through the following:
- What kind of job do you want?
- What are you looking for from your next job that your current job doesn't provide?
- Where is the new job located?
- How much money do you want to make?
- What industry are you working in?
- Are there specific companies you want to focus on?
- What level of position are you looking for?
- How soon do you want to start?
It is essential for you to take the time you need to get clear on what you want. You can't get frustrated with not finding the best opportunities for your career if you aren't even sure what those opportunities are.
Get Your Resume Right
This is the perfect time to nix outdated sections like objective statements, references, and your full mailing address. (No one is sending you snail mail about potential jobs in 2020). Edit your work history to eliminate irrelevant or older positions (more than 15 years). Make sure that you are targeting your resume content for the specific jobs you want to apply for. Incorporate relevant keywords from the job description to optimize your resume for the Web. Swap the laundry list of tasks for each job with fewer, more concise bullets highlighting accomplishments and major contributions.
When it comes to formatting, choose a layout appropriate for your industry. If you are in a creative field like graphic design or photography, your resume should typically look different from one written for legal or finance positions. Exercise caution. Given you will be submitting the majority of your applications online, you need to ensure that the format you select can be easily read by the applicant tracking system (ATS). Therefore, resist the urge to include busy graphs or other elements that may cause your resume to be filtered out automatically.
Pro Tip: After making all of your edits, don't forget to take a step back and read your resume with a cold pair of eyes. What impression does it give the reader? For example, does it read as an entry-level resume when you've got several years of experience? Does it position you as a high-quality candidate?
Work Your LinkedIn
Let's be honest. You know you need a LinkedIn profile. (You should already have one!) In 2020, take your profile to the next level. Copying and pasting your work experience and education from your resume won't cut it. Create an engaging profile with a headline and summary that draws readers in. Utilize the Skills section to highlight your expertise and make it easier for recruiters and hiring managers to find you. Leverage the Accomplishments section to showcase your major wins and achievements. You can add languages, publications, even patents. Start following the companies that interest you so that you can learn about new opportunities and start engaging with their content.
Outside of your profile, get started on building meaningful relationships through the platform. This does not mean you should blindly send requests to everyone at the companies you want to work for. Find key decision makers, recruiters, hiring managers, etc. and send out connection requests with custom invitations. For individuals who most likely receive a high volume of requests, it's critical to be clear and intentional with your invitation.
Then engage with their posts. Don't just look for posts about open positions. If they're talking about what's happening in the industry, share your perspective. Demonstrate that you have relevant knowledge and expertise. Create organic exchanges that can open the door for offline conversations.
Network In Real Life
"It's not what you know, but who you know."
Speaking of offline conversations, LinkedIn is a fantastic place to make connections, but if possible, they shouldn't stay there. You can leverage LinkedIn to set up informal phone conversations, video conferences, or coffee chats.
But LinkedIn is just one medium. Make an additional effort to build and expand your network outside of online platforms. Join relevant professional or trade associations and attend their events. If you are a member of a sorority, become active in their local chapter and connect with other members. Tap into your existing network of friends and colleagues and ask for introductions in their networks. Per CNBC, research shows that 70% of all jobs are not published on public job search sites and up to 80% of jobs are filled through networking.
You can get the job you want in 2020. Once you set your goals, you just have to roll up your sleeves and get to work!
For more information about Julia Rock, check out Rock Career Development or follow her on Instagram.
Featured Photo by Shutterstock
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That’s why, when one couple came to me and asked what was something that they could do to light the fire (pun intended) in their own bedroom, the first thing that I asked was if they had ever tried wax play before. You should’ve seen the expression on their faces. LOL.
When it comes to things like that, I think that it’s still taboo for some, simply because they’ve only seen it on a movie screen or heard about it in true extreme sexual contexts — and so, they don’t think that it’s something that is “for them” when, the reality is, with the right tips in tow, wax play can be for pretty much anyone…and everyone.
So today, let’s add something new to some of y’all’s boudoir list of activities. Here are 10 things that will, hopefully, help you to see the flames of wax play (I’ve got puns all over the place today) in a whole new light.
1. Anticipation Does Wonders for Sexual Arousal
GiphyI once read an article by a mental health expert who said that anticipation is probably the greatest aphrodisiac of all. It builds excitement. It fuels curiosity. At the end of the day, it’s like a mental form of edging because you’re getting close to something that you look forward to — although you’re not quite there yet. Listen, he’s not off base because even science says that anticipation can give you a dopamine hit that can ultimately improve your sexual experiences.
Keeping this point in mind, how can watching hot wax drip from a candle and head toward your body not fuel some level of anticipation? Especially if it’s your first few times trying it? A woman by the name of Ana Monnar once said, “Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” Just something to consider, when it comes to entertaining bringing wax play into your world, my dear.
2. Wax Play Is Peak-Level Foreplay
GiphyWe all know what foreplay is, right? Just to be sure that we’re all on the same page, a very basic definition is it’s something that typically happens right before sex in order to arouse the people who are about to have it. And since foreplay is pretty much the prelude to copulation, it’s important that “the appetizer” is damn near as good as the “main course.” Wax play can help to ensure that because, aside from what I just said about anticipation, it can also help you and your partner tap into your more sensual and seductive sides. It’s hot. It requires being mindful. And since so much give and take is involved, it requires both people to be very into the moment. Lawd. Wax play is sexy to even just think about!
3. Temperature Pleasure Is Lots of Fun
GiphyOkay, say that you’ve never played with wax (in this way) before. Have you ever incorporated ice cubes? I ain’t gonna let y’all get ALL up in my business, so…let me just say (for now) that some ice during oral sex ain’t neva hurt nobody…quite the contrary! There’s something about the unexpected cool that mixes around with the warmth of a mouth that is truly unmatched. Along these same lines, wax play brings in the heat and, what makes temperature pleasure/play so awesome is, that it uses the sensations of different temperatures to bring out different forms of stimulation.
Another thing that’s worth noting about temperature pleasure is if you’re someone who considers yourself to be on the sexually conservative side yet you do like this type of activity, whether you realize it or not, you’re low-key participating in a form of kink (yep!). This brings me to my next point.
4. Wax Play Is an Introduction to Kink
GiphyIt’s kind of interesting how some people clam up at the thought of a (sexual) kink when the reality is, at the end of the day, it’s about having a certain type of sexual experience (as opposed to a fetish that focuses on objects or body parts; like a foot fetish, for example). So, if it’s that simple, why does it intimidate a lot of folks? Well, kinks tend to delve into people’s fantasies or unconventional ways of thinking (like BDSM or voyeurism).
At the same time, the cool thing about kinks is you control how deep you want to go. Just know that if you do participate in wax play, there’s no point in turning up your nose to the whole kink thing; wax play technically qualifies.
5. Soy Does One Thing. Paraffin Does Another.
GiphyOkay, so let’s spend a couple of moments talking about the things that you need to get the most out of your wax play experience. First, please don’t be out here imitating movies. While they will have you believing that you should pull a taper candle from your dining room table and go ham with it, it’s best to go with massage candles; they are specifically designed for wax play and body massages (The Knot has a recommendation list here and Women’s Health has a list of their own here).
When it comes to candles, in general, I’m always a fan of soy because they burn cleaner and last longer. However, when it comes to wax play, two other reasons why soy is best is it’s natural and “burns lower;” this simply means that once the wax hits your body, it won’t be as hot as, say, paraffin wax will (because it has a higher burning point).
What all of this means is if you want a more comfortable experience, go with a soy (or even a shea butter or beeswax) candle. If you want to play with the big (wax play) kids, try paraffin.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if you can never use “regular” candles — I mean, it’s your body. All I’m saying is some candles are designed for wax play; birthday candles? They are not. Feel me?
6. Massage Candles Feel Incredible on Your Muscles and Joints
GiphySo, here’s the thing about massage candles: If you’ve ever had a professional massage before, your massage therapist may have used them. And if you’ve gotten a high-end mani/pedi, some paraffin wax may have come into play (no pun intended). That’s because the wax from both types of candles has health benefits that include relaxing muscles, improving joint mobility, and increasing blood flow throughout the body. And when you factor in the fact that the better you physically feel before sex, the better sex will be during it — isn’t that just one more plus for and perk of wax play? I definitely think so.
7. The Aromatherapy Is Incomparable
GiphySomething else that’s awesome about most massage candles is they have a wonderfully alluring scent to them, by design. Yes, that matters too because there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that aromatherapy does everything from reduce stress and relieve bodily discomfort to treat headaches and fight off infections (word on the street is that it may even help with menstrual cramps and menopause).
As far as your sex life goes, aromatherapy is supreme because certain essential oils double up as aphrodisiacs. Lavender, neroli, and rose are proven to improve your sexual function. Geranium reduces anxiety. And listen, if climaxing is your ultimate goal, check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm” and then look for massage oils that smell like, say, vanilla, saffron or jasmine. Bottom line, a good massage candle that smells amazing is going to be worth every cent that you spent to purchase it.
8. You Will Learn Communication (and Dirty Talk) on a Whole ‘Nother Level
GiphyOne of the reasons why I once penned, “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” for the platform is because, if there’s one thing that I think is so awesome about sex, is it finds a way to incorporate all five of your senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and hearing) as well as your top love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and gifts — if you’re open to it).
And when it comes to hearing (and words of affirmation), this is another area where wax play can be a winner because, as you’re learning what works for your partner and they learn what works for you, words have to be exchanged… perhaps even dirty ones.
And why is dirty talk so damn effective? According to scientific research, it has the ability to activate your entire brain (the biggest sex organ that you have) and when this is going on while you’re being physically stimulated — chile, the sky truly is the limit!
9. Wax Play Is Completely Customizable
GiphyYou know back when I was talking about soy candles vs. paraffin ones? Something that I didn’t mention, by design at the time, is that, although I will forever be Team Massage Candles when it comes to this particular topic, there are some known as wax play candles too. What’s the difference? Wax play candles tend to remain pretty hard (after being lit up) while massage candles are designed to melt into a liquid that you can massage on your partner’s body.
Why am I bringing this all up now? Well, it’s to serve as a reminder that wax play can be “dialed up” or “turned down” based on what you want to do. If you just want to put a twist on a massage, you can do that. If you’d like to test your partner’s tolerance level by applying more heat for longer, do that.
Just make sure that you use the kind of wax that doesn’t fully melt on shaved areas of the body (pretty sure why is self-explanatory), that you moisturize your skin beforehand (it’s easier to remove the wax…or whatever is leftover) that way and that you pour around 15-20 inches away from your partner’s body; that gives it time to cool somewhat on the way down. Oh, and if you don’t want to jack up your sheets, you might want to lay down a protective drop cloth (like this one here).
10. It Sure As Hell Ain’t Boring
Season 1 Friends GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyLast point — and it brings all of this full circle. Now that you’ve read all of the ways that wax play can benefit your sex life, how in the world could you associate it with “boring” on any level? Anything that can get you hype, cultivate eagerness, and enhance what you’ve already got going on…that is worth putting on your sex bucket list and trying at least one time, wouldn’t you say? And why can’t that time be…TONIGHT? Shoot your man a pick of a massage candle with a heart and watch him beat you home.
Then report back (with edits…LOL).
Something tells me that you’ll become a wax play fan — SOON.
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