You don't know what you've got until it's gone, and after R&B singer Jazmine Robinson got into a car accident that could have potentially stolen her God-given gift for life, she realized that it was time to kick her hustle into overdrive.
Just shy of her 23rd birthday, Jazmine was headed to see longtime family friend Kandi Burruss, and her family when she was hit from behind by a reckless driver. She told xoNecole, "And at first I got out the car and I was fine, but then like everything just started aching. The first thing I thought was, 'oh my gosh, my body.' I use my body to dance. I definitely took mobility for granted up until that point. I'm just like, 'oh my goodness, I cannot move.'" According to Jazmine, the only thing more crippling than the shock of her accident was the thought of never being able to dance again.
"It made me think that all those goals that I had written on my list would never get accomplished. Like, what if it was worse? What if I couldn't move again? I didn't want that."
Not long after, Jazmine knew it was time to become fearless in the pursuit of her purpose, packed up her things, and moved from Atlanta to LA to pursue her entertainment career full-time. For Jazmine, her near-death experience was what pushed her into her destiny. "I feel like maybe that was the tipping point. Because it could all be over, over."
Now, Jazmine says that she can take pride in starting and ending each day knowing that she's doing the damn thing, without fear that she'll ever leave this earth wondering "what if". The entertainer recently released her latest project, Ocean, for which she single-handedly self-produced a visual for and sis has more heat otw. Between auditions, recording, and being a nanny to the stars, Jazmine says that she can barely find time to find sleep, but the entertainer did get a minute to fill us in on how she finds balance despite her ultra-busy schedule:
When do you feel most beautiful?
Tee J (@hustleandnap)
"If I'm like accomplishing something I feel most beautiful and it doesn't matter how I'm looking in the moment. I can't pinpoint that to a look, it's more of a feeling. Like me driving 36 hours to LA, that was beautiful to me. That's when I was most proud of myself and I thought to myself, 'wow, girl, you look good, you doing the damn thing.' When I get up in the morning and I don't want to, but I go exercise; I come back and I'm like, 'girl, you look good!' I remember it was such a time when I didn't do those things; when I wasn't kind to myself in that way to schedule personal time for myself, and it really just made me sad. Being happy is a choice that I have to make and it's got to be the first one that I make in the morning."
"I remember it was such a time when I didn't do those things; when I wasn't kind to myself in that way to schedule personal time for myself, and it really just made me sad. Being happy is a choice that I have to make and it's got to be the first one that I make in the morning."
What are your mornings like?
"Praying, whether it's by myself or with my friends. We'll all call each other on a group chat and just literally pray and speak over our lives and our dreams. Like every day, it's serious."
What do you find to be the most hectic part of your week?
"When I'm having a busy week, the most hectic part would probably be finding time to sleep. I will literally schedule myself to do things and never schedule sleep and then look up and it'll be like four in the morning and I'm like, 'gosh, I really need to be up at six. What am I going to do?' So though I have been running with this ambition, I'm now trying to pace myself in it."
Do you practice any types of self-care?
Tee J (@hustleandnap)
"For me, self-care is a good hair mask, a good Michael Todd or Sarah Jakes Roberts Sermon, and that's about it. I'll really just sit there and watch sermons all day or, speeches, interviews, things like that. To me, that is like a form of self-care because it's someone pouring into me versus me pouring out all the time."
How do you find balance with:
Love/Marriage?
"The way that I find balance with having fun with them is doing business with them in some way or some form. Like, we'll do a dance class; one of my friends owns like a shoe boutique and we'll say, 'hey, we'll do a heels class and give away a pair of shoes at the end of the month, let's both promote it together'. We'll work together so that we can spend time in that atmosphere and still not feel like we have a bunch of work to do after hanging with each other."
Friends?
"I guess I kind of infuse that too. We'll watch YouTube sermons together and we'll read books together and talk about them because that's kind of just what space I'm in right now."
Exercise/Health?
"At the top of the day, [I] get it over with, just go ahead and do it. Because if it hits 12 and I have my makeup on and my hair done, sis is not throwing on a pair of track pants unless it's for dance class. So just getting it over with at the top of the morning is the best way and nothing in the world beats that shower after a weightlifting session. Nothing."
Do you cook or find yourself eating out?
Tee J (@hustleandnap)
"I'm not sure if it is my sense of me trying to adult and be frugal and I guess I'll know the more money I obtain, but, I much rather cook. Because I think, why am I going to spend $20, 30, 40, $50 on a meal and I want to get my song mixed or I want to go to dance class or I want to shoot something and I need to buy an outfit for it? Maybe I'll make the outfit, but I need to buy the fabric. To me, if that does not register. You mean to tell me I'm going to make a decision about food three times a day, sometimes more, and I could spend that money and then just do it again tomorrow? Or I can get a song mixed and put it on iTunes and it'd be on there forever."
Do you ever detox? What does that look like for you?
"There's this girl who wrote a book called detoxing your brain and she talks about how your brain can physically challenge your body to do certain things. I always think, let me start there. Getting a journal and writing everything down, that's me detoxing. I'm a letting all these thoughts out of my head so I don't have to store that. Your brain can only hold so much like storage in your phone; at one point, you're gonna have to put them in a cloud and tuck them somewhere else so that you don't lose them. So that's my form of detox is getting a journal or writing music."
What does success mean to you?
"Success is literally writing a goal down and being able to accomplish it. Whatever that goal is, whatever that amount of money is, whatever that standard is. Just being able to literally cross off my to-do lists at the end of the day, that's a successful day to me"
You can learn more about @Jazmine by following her Instagram and make sure to check out the 3-part visualization of her new single, "Ocean" on Youtube ASAP, sis!
Jazmine | Ocean - a serialized story | Part 1www.youtube.com
Featured image by Tee J (@hustleandnap).
RELATED
What do I personally think about cuffing season? I think it’s more than a notion and you should proceed with caution. As far as the subset of it that is known as winter coating, though — well, as you’re about to see, if you’re going to try to take it on, you absolutely need to know what you are getting yourself into because if you lie to yourself, it may not exactly give you the results that you were looking for.
Read on to see what I mean by that…
What Is the Science Behind Cuffing Season?
GiphyOkay, so first let’s get into if cuffing season is a “real thing” or not. Well, from what I’ve read and researched, apparently, someone should send an artist by the name of Musa Murchison a Cash App because, although she isn’t the originator of the phrase, she does seem to be the one who made it popular by shouting it out back in 2008 on her campus radio show. And yes, beyond the term being something that comes up on social media, like clockwork, right around this time every year, there does seem to be some real science behind it all — even if you want to chalk what I’m about to say up to being nothing more than mere coincidence.
What do I mean specifically? Well, being that cuffing season is (generally) all about finding someone to boo/bae up with before the weather drops below freezing, only to potentially break up with said-person once the temperatures start to rise again — did you know that dating apps tend to pick up on traffic between October and December (although the most popular dating app day is Dating Sunday which is in January)?
Did you also know that dating, in general, tends to happen the most between November and February? And, if you do decide to take what I just said seriously, it also shouldn’t surprise you that most children (in the US) are conceived during the fall and winter seasons as well. So yeah, at the very least, it does seem like people want to get “closer than close” the colder it gets outdoors.
And exactly why is that? Chile, you can read an article that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?” to put two and two together on that tip.
Cooler (and even rainier) weather. Pumpkins (which are a bona fide aphrodisiac; especially for men) being in abundance. Being indoors more often. The romance of the holiday season. Shifts in our DNA making us hornier (not to mention the fact that men find women more attractive during the colder months — no joke). All of these things literally help to create the perfect storm as far as cuffing season is concerned.
8 Interesting Straight-Up Facts About Cuffing Season
GiphyI’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned in one of these articles on here before that a web series I enjoyed watching last year is called Cuddle Season. You can currently watch it on — yep, you guessed it — Tubi; it’s all about some not-so-slim fellas adoring what the cooler weather brings them as far as female company is concerned. LOL. As I thought about it and all of the other intel that I just provided, I decided to further solidify the impact that cuffing season provides by bullet pointing a few other semi-fascinating facts.
1. 1 in 3 individuals find cuffing season to be a real phenomenon, although more millennials are caught up in the hype than those who are older than they are (by the way, 54 percent of Gen Zers find the holiday season to be the perfect time for finding a potential partner too).
2. Although around 30 percent of individuals think that cuffing season is mostly about staying warm, about 45 percent think it’s more about avoiding loneliness.
3. 60 percent of people who tend to feel lonely during the fall and winter will rely on dating apps to bring about some sort of mental and emotional relief.
4. Getting “cuffed up” has actually been proven to reduce anxiety and stress.
5. Not everyone thinks that cuffing season is (potentially) selfish or shallow. In fact, the most engagements transpire between November and January.
6. Know all of those holiday movies where single people fake being in a relationship during the holiday season in order to avoid any pressure from family members and friends? Apparently, it’s art imitating real life because one popular study revealed that a whopping 40 percent of singles have asked a friend to pretend to be their date during the holiday season.
7. Testosterone levels are higher in men during cooler months while being lower in hotter seasons. Women’s eggs are apparently in optimal condition during the fall and wintertime too.
8. Some researchers actually finding “cuffing” to be a means of literal survival due to the fact that (affectionate) touch lowers stress and, since stress is attached to health-related issues like digestive issues, a lower libido, irregular cycles, heart disease, headaches, depression and shortened longevity — well, yes, cuffing season could potentially be a lifesaver.
Okay, So What Is Winter Coating All About?
GiphyAight, so now that you know more about cuffing season than you possibly ever thought that you would, what in the world does the dating term “winter coating” come from? Well, the long-short of it is…what some of y’all call “spinning the block?” How I oftentimes see it is “hitting a cul-de-sac.” LOL. Yes chile, if you decide to participate in winter coating activities during cuffing season, what you’re essentially doing is making the intentional decision to either reach out to an ex or — respond to one who decides to call, text, DM or email you, seemingly out of the blue.
Now the interesting thing about winter coating is it’s not really something that dating experts are thrilled about. One reason is because if someone is in your past, you’ve got to remember that it got to that point for a purpose. Another issue is because, well, why did you/they wait until cuffing season to try and reach out/rekindle something?
Usually, the motive for that is because, oftentimes, the combination of nostalgia mixed with the feeling that love bombing is easier to do on an ex than anyone else. And while that indeed may be true, does that sound healthy and long-term beneficial to you? Yeah, me neither.
Yeah honestly, when you really stop to think about it, winter coating seems a lot like what we do with our actually winter gear — we cram it somewhere where we don’t have to deal with it until it gets cold outside and then we pull it out from a closet, hope chest or under our bed to use it all (and up) for a couple of months — until we don’t need it anymore…and then we discard it all over again. SMDH.
So, if you’re someone who is an avid fan or big-time participant of cuffing season, before you decide to bring winter coating into the mix, really ponder if it’s a good idea or wise decision — because doing something that keeps you warm for a few weeks only for it to turn you cold afterwards…that typically turns out to be more counterproductive than anything else.
5 Tips for Guarding Your Heart (and Perhaps Genitalia) During Cuffing Season
GiphyMatter of fact, while we’re on the topic of cuffing season overall, let me share a few tips to keep you as unscathed as possible, period:
1. To thine own self be true. It’s a French philosopher by the name of Jean de La Bruyère who once said, “It's motive alone which gives character to the actions of men.” You know, the reason why a lot of people trip their own selves up in life is because they aren’t being honest with themselves about WHY they do the things that they do. That said, if you’re going into cuffing season just to have someone to cuddle up and watch Hallmark movies with until spring — have at it.
However, if you’re using cuffing season in hopes of getting something more out of it, SAY THAT. The more honest you are with yourself about your intentions, the less disappointed, disillusioned or hurt you will be…regardless of how things may play out in the end. You were genuine. Karma has taken note.
2. Think about your short and long-term (relational) goals. Let’s be real — for most people, cuffing season is a short-term goal. So, if you want something that is fleeting, do you. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something more meaningful, playing all of the games that come with cuffing season is not going to be your best bet — especially when it comes to the whole winter coating thing.
Yeah, please keep that in mind as you and your ex are taking a walk down memory lane because, more times than not? It’s probably going to lead to (another) dead end. If not immediately…eventually. Bottom line with this one: cuffing season only thinks about the present. Make sure that you also factor in your future.
3. If he’s your ex, don’t sugarcoat why. I’m not the person who thinks that an ex can’t be upcycled — just make sure that you aren’t merely recycling him. The difference? Recycling is using something old (or used) all over again. Upcycling is taking something old (or used) and making it better. That said, sometimes time gives people the opportunity to grow and that can make the “take two” of a relationship better.
Just make sure that if you are entertaining getting back with an ex that you are real with yourself about why the relationship ended to begin with. If you see signs of that mess/drama/ridiculousness still hovering around — cuffing season or not, you should probably take a pass. Why let him infiltrate your holiday season with some bullshishery that you will carry with you for years to come? Girl, uh-uh.
4. DO NOT follow your heart. If you’ve read enough of my relational content, you know that I can’t stand the motto, “Follow your heart”. The fact that it’s not biblical should be reason enough — and it’s not because Jeremiah 17:9-10 says that the heart is deceitful and that’s because emotions can indeed cause you to think/believe that something is one way when it may indeed be something else. And so, as you go into cuffing season this year, follow facts and reality.
That is biblical too: “It’s best to stay in touch with both sides of an issue. A person who fears God deals responsibly with all of reality, not just a piece of it.” (Ecclesiastes 7:18 — Message) In other words, if how you feel is conflicting with what you see — pause, ponder and reflect.
5. Avoid peer (and social media) pressure as best you can. I don’t even know if people would give a damn (at least so much) about cuffing season if social media didn’t talk about it so much. And don’t even get me started on just like peer pressure can get kids and teens to go against their core values and/or participate in risky behavior, it can impact adults in a similar fashion.
Bottom line with this point: Don’t engage in cuffing season or winter coating just because you see other people doing it. If your mind, body and spirit are telling you that it’s not what’s best for you — TAP OUT. You’ll be just fine.
____
Winter coating. Hmph.
Your best bet: Buy one to wear and avoid this dating trend.
The former is an investment. Chances are the latter is a complete waste (of time).
Just sayin’.
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