What Self-Care Looks Like To R&B Singer Jazmine Robinson
You don't know what you've got until it's gone, and after R&B singer Jazmine Robinson got into a car accident that could have potentially stolen her God-given gift for life, she realized that it was time to kick her hustle into overdrive.
Just shy of her 23rd birthday, Jazmine was headed to see longtime family friend Kandi Burruss, and her family when she was hit from behind by a reckless driver. She told xoNecole, "And at first I got out the car and I was fine, but then like everything just started aching. The first thing I thought was, 'oh my gosh, my body.' I use my body to dance. I definitely took mobility for granted up until that point. I'm just like, 'oh my goodness, I cannot move.'" According to Jazmine, the only thing more crippling than the shock of her accident was the thought of never being able to dance again.
"It made me think that all those goals that I had written on my list would never get accomplished. Like, what if it was worse? What if I couldn't move again? I didn't want that."
Not long after, Jazmine knew it was time to become fearless in the pursuit of her purpose, packed up her things, and moved from Atlanta to LA to pursue her entertainment career full-time. For Jazmine, her near-death experience was what pushed her into her destiny. "I feel like maybe that was the tipping point. Because it could all be over, over."
Now, Jazmine says that she can take pride in starting and ending each day knowing that she's doing the damn thing, without fear that she'll ever leave this earth wondering "what if". The entertainer recently released her latest project, Ocean, for which she single-handedly self-produced a visual for and sis has more heat otw. Between auditions, recording, and being a nanny to the stars, Jazmine says that she can barely find time to find sleep, but the entertainer did get a minute to fill us in on how she finds balance despite her ultra-busy schedule:
When do you feel most beautiful?
Tee J (@hustleandnap)
"If I'm like accomplishing something I feel most beautiful and it doesn't matter how I'm looking in the moment. I can't pinpoint that to a look, it's more of a feeling. Like me driving 36 hours to LA, that was beautiful to me. That's when I was most proud of myself and I thought to myself, 'wow, girl, you look good, you doing the damn thing.' When I get up in the morning and I don't want to, but I go exercise; I come back and I'm like, 'girl, you look good!' I remember it was such a time when I didn't do those things; when I wasn't kind to myself in that way to schedule personal time for myself, and it really just made me sad. Being happy is a choice that I have to make and it's got to be the first one that I make in the morning."
"I remember it was such a time when I didn't do those things; when I wasn't kind to myself in that way to schedule personal time for myself, and it really just made me sad. Being happy is a choice that I have to make and it's got to be the first one that I make in the morning."
What are your mornings like?
"Praying, whether it's by myself or with my friends. We'll all call each other on a group chat and just literally pray and speak over our lives and our dreams. Like every day, it's serious."
What do you find to be the most hectic part of your week?
"When I'm having a busy week, the most hectic part would probably be finding time to sleep. I will literally schedule myself to do things and never schedule sleep and then look up and it'll be like four in the morning and I'm like, 'gosh, I really need to be up at six. What am I going to do?' So though I have been running with this ambition, I'm now trying to pace myself in it."
Do you practice any types of self-care?
Tee J (@hustleandnap)
"For me, self-care is a good hair mask, a good Michael Todd or Sarah Jakes Roberts Sermon, and that's about it. I'll really just sit there and watch sermons all day or, speeches, interviews, things like that. To me, that is like a form of self-care because it's someone pouring into me versus me pouring out all the time."
How do you find balance with:
Love/Marriage?
"The way that I find balance with having fun with them is doing business with them in some way or some form. Like, we'll do a dance class; one of my friends owns like a shoe boutique and we'll say, 'hey, we'll do a heels class and give away a pair of shoes at the end of the month, let's both promote it together'. We'll work together so that we can spend time in that atmosphere and still not feel like we have a bunch of work to do after hanging with each other."
Friends?
"I guess I kind of infuse that too. We'll watch YouTube sermons together and we'll read books together and talk about them because that's kind of just what space I'm in right now."
Exercise/Health?
"At the top of the day, [I] get it over with, just go ahead and do it. Because if it hits 12 and I have my makeup on and my hair done, sis is not throwing on a pair of track pants unless it's for dance class. So just getting it over with at the top of the morning is the best way and nothing in the world beats that shower after a weightlifting session. Nothing."
Do you cook or find yourself eating out?
Tee J (@hustleandnap)
"I'm not sure if it is my sense of me trying to adult and be frugal and I guess I'll know the more money I obtain, but, I much rather cook. Because I think, why am I going to spend $20, 30, 40, $50 on a meal and I want to get my song mixed or I want to go to dance class or I want to shoot something and I need to buy an outfit for it? Maybe I'll make the outfit, but I need to buy the fabric. To me, if that does not register. You mean to tell me I'm going to make a decision about food three times a day, sometimes more, and I could spend that money and then just do it again tomorrow? Or I can get a song mixed and put it on iTunes and it'd be on there forever."
Do you ever detox? What does that look like for you?
"There's this girl who wrote a book called detoxing your brain and she talks about how your brain can physically challenge your body to do certain things. I always think, let me start there. Getting a journal and writing everything down, that's me detoxing. I'm a letting all these thoughts out of my head so I don't have to store that. Your brain can only hold so much like storage in your phone; at one point, you're gonna have to put them in a cloud and tuck them somewhere else so that you don't lose them. So that's my form of detox is getting a journal or writing music."
What does success mean to you?
"Success is literally writing a goal down and being able to accomplish it. Whatever that goal is, whatever that amount of money is, whatever that standard is. Just being able to literally cross off my to-do lists at the end of the day, that's a successful day to me"
You can learn more about @Jazmine by following her Instagram and make sure to check out the 3-part visualization of her new single, "Ocean" on Youtube ASAP, sis!
Jazmine | Ocean - a serialized story | Part 1www.youtube.com
Featured image by Tee J (@hustleandnap).
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Beyond Burnout: Nicole Walters' Blueprint For Achieving Career Success On Your Own Terms
Nicole Walters has always been known for two things: her ambition and her ability to recognize when life’s challenges can also double as an inspiring, lucrative brand.
This was first evident more than a decade ago when she quit her job as the corporate executive of a Fortune 500 company during a Periscope livestream. “I’m not sure if there’s an alignment of [our] future trajectory. I’m going to work for myself. I'm promoting myself to work for myself,” she said at the time before flashing a smile at the viewing audience. As she resigned on camera, a constant stream of encouraging messages floated upwards on the screen.
By 2021, she’d fashioned her work as a corporate consultant and her personal life with her husband and three adopted daughters into a reality show, She’s The Boss, for USA Network. This year, she released the New York Times bestselling memoir Nothing Is Missing, written as she was in the process of getting a divorce and dealing with her eldest daughter’s struggles with substance use.
Convinced that there’s no way the 39-year-old has achieved all of this without intentional strategic planning, I asked her about it when we spoke less than a week before Christmas. I’d seen videos on social media of her working on 2024 planning for other brands, and I wanted to know what that looked like following her own year of success.
She listed a number of goals, including ensuring that the projects she takes on in the new year align with her identity “as a Black woman, as an African woman, as a mother, as someone who has lived a [rebuilding] season and is now trying to live boldly and entirely as themselves.” But, I was shocked by how much of her business planning also prioritized rest.
Despite the bestselling book, a self-titled podcast, and working with numerous corporations, Walters said she’s been taking Fridays off. This year, she doesn’t want to work on Mondays, either.
“A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement,” she said, noting that she’ll check in with herself around March to see how successful this plan has been. The goal, Walters said, is to only be working on Tuesdays and Thursdays by sometime in 2025. “It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to have happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change.”
"A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement... It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change."
Walters said the decision to progressively work less was partially in response to her previously held notions about her career, especially as an entrepreneur. “When I first started, I thought burnout was a part of it,” she said. “What I didn’t realize is that even if you’re able to bounce out of burnout or get back to it, there’s a cumulative impact on your body. If you think of your body as a tree and every time you go through burnout, you are taking a hack out of your trunk, yes, that trunk will heal over, and the tree will continue to grow, but it doesn't mean that you don’t have a weakened stem.”
But, the desire for increased rest was also in response to the major shifts that occurred three years ago when she was experiencing major changes in her family and realized her metaphorical tree was “bending all the way over.”
Courtesy
“One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity,” she added. “That is some language that I think is just now starting to really get unpacked.” In recent years, there’s been an increased awareness of achieving balance in life, with Tricia Hersey’s “The Nap Ministry” gaining attention based on the idea that rest, especially for Black women, is a form of resistance. Even online phrases such as “soft life” and “quiet quitting” have hinted at a cultural shift in prioritizing leisure over professional ambition.
"One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity."
If companies are lining up to consult with Walters about their brands and products, then women have been looking to her for guidance on starting over since she invited them to livestream her resignation 12 years ago. As viewers continue to demand more from content creators in the form of intimate, personal details, Walters has navigated her personal brand with a sense of transparency without oversharing the vulnerable details about her life, especially when it comes to her family.
The entrepreneur said she’d been approached to write a book for several years and was initially convinced she was finally ready to write one about business. “I started to do that, and then I went through my divorce. When that happened, I said, why would I write a book telling people to get the life that I have when I’m not sure about the life that I have,” she said.
Instead, she decided to write Nothing Is Missing and provide a closer look at her life, starting with being born to immigrant Ghanaian parents (“You need to know my childhood to know why I’m passionate about entrepreneurship.”) through the adoption of her three daughters and eventual divorce. Despite her desire to share, however, she said she felt protective of the privacy of her family, including her ex-husband.
When discussing this with me, Walters said she was reminded of a lesson she learned from actress Kerry Washington, who released her own memoir, Thicker Than Water, just a week before Walters’ book release. Washington’s memoir grapples with family secrets, too, specifically the fact that she was conceived using a sperm donor and didn’t learn about it until she was already a successful TV star. While Washington reflects on how the decision and subsequent deception impacted her, she’s also careful to hold space for her parents’ experiences, too. “A lot of things she said was that she had to recognize where she was the supporting character and where she was the main character,” Walter said.
This is something Walter worked to do in Nothing Is Missing when discussing her daughter’s struggles with addiction. “I was very intentional about making sure that I did not reveal more than what was required,” she said. “If I say something about someone’s addiction, I don’t need to go into the list of the substances they used, how they used them, what I found. [I don’t need to] walk into a room and paint a picture of what it looked like for people to understand.”
Walters said some of the most vulnerable moments in the book barely made a ripple once it was released. She was extremely nervous to write about getting an abortion, she said. But no one has asked her about this in the months since the book was released. Instead, people have been more interested in quirkier revelations, such as the fact that she once appeared on Wheel of Fortune.
“I have bared my soul about this thing I went through in my youth that has changed me for people, and people are like, ‘So how heavy was the wheel when you spun it?’” she said, chuckling. “It just goes to show that people never worry about the thing that you worry about.”
With the success of Nothing Is Missing, Walters said she still isn’t planning to release a business book at the moment. But, as she navigates parenting a teenager and two adult children while also navigating a relationship with her new fiancé, Walters said she believes she has at least one or two more books to write about her personal journey. “There is sort of an arc of where my life has gone that I know I’ve got something more to say about this that I think is important, relevant and necessary,” she said.
In just three years, Walters’ life has undergone a major transformation. There’s no telling what the next three years will have in store for her, but it seems likely she’ll retain an inspired audience wherever life takes her.
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Fell Off Your Routine? Here’s How You Get Back To Yourself, From A Wellness Expert
Developing a wellness routine is essential to your mental well-being. When we neglect ourselves, that neglect can bleed over into every aspect of our lives. As a wellness founder, for a minute, if I'm honest, I thought I had wellness down to a science. I assumed it would be easy for me to keep up with my routine because I fought so hard to get here. That falling off would be impossible for me until I did, and I realized that healing is, unfortunately, not at all as linear as I thought it would be.
Navigating through the pandemic took me through levels of depression and burnout that I never thought possible, and one day, I looked up and didn't recognize myself in more ways than one. My yoga mat that had once been at the foot of my bed for daily stretching was rolled away into a dark corner. The dust had formed on my gym bag and gua sha tools, and I hadn't seen my massage therapist in over five months. The wellness rituals that I held close became a stranger to me, and I found myself asking, "How did I get here, and more importantly, how do I get back to what feels like home to me?"
Many times I felt ashamed and embarrassed and couldn't put language to the fatigue that I couldn't shake. As a Black woman, especially one that has accomplished some level of success, there's the pressure that you put on yourself, and then there's the pressure from those around you to keep going, to work harder, to keep soaring. I never wanted to do the opposite, but I yearned for solitude.
It's such a strange feeling to be happier than you ever have in your career but simultaneously feel yourself slipping away.
Once I discovered that I had been experiencing cycles of burnout, I knew that I had to take action to pull myself out of the hole I found myself in. If you're struggling to grab hold of your wellness routine, it's still possible for you to apply these practices in order to get back to putting yourself first.
1. Be gentle with yourself.
Give yourself grace and gentleness as you form these good habits again. Ignore the urge to talk down to yourself and harp on what you can't change, as it will not only delay the process of you enjoying the routine again but because it isn't kind. Negative self-talk is the last thing you need; extend gentleness to the part of yourself that needs to step away and welcome her back into your life.
Maskot/Getty Images
2. Slowly work your way back into your routine.
If you were a 5 a.m. gym girl, perhaps you should head back to the gym on the first day at 7 a.m. and, by the end of the week, work your way up to 5 a.m. Did you have a morning journaling practice for twenty minutes a day? Start back up, taking the pressure off with a five- to 10-minute session. Allowing yourself to start slow gives you a small victory on this journey.
3. Get clear on your goals.
As we change, so do our needs, especially as it relates to wellness and routines, and as a result of that, your routine might need to look different this time around. Sit with yourself and determine your wellness goals - mind, body, and spirit- and then create a game plan. From there, decide what habits you used to enjoy still hold to your needs now, and as time progresses, merge the needs of former you and who you are now together.
South_agency/Getty Images
4. Create systems of sustainable rest.
Burnout and exhaustion are often so normalized for Black women, so we have to go out of our way to ensure that we are cared for. Often, as a society, we view rest as something that you do when you're tired or overwhelmed in order to refuel and get back to work, but we've had it all wrong, especially when it comes to Black women.
Our rest is crucial because our lives depend on it. Working until we can't go anymore is not the way. As Nap Bishop Tricia Hersley once said, "Rest is resistance." Your rest does not need to be reserved for summer vacation or PTO. Your rest can be a nap, moving and working slower, not feeling the urge to respond to messages and calls immediately, or moving at a slower pace.
Find your way back to yourself, sis. You got this, and I can't wait to see how your life has changed once you begin to prioritize yourself and your wellness again.
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