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This Couple Fell In Love At First Sight. A Decade Later, They’re On A Forever Honeymoon.

"We didn't complete each––we enhanced one another. And that's what made our situation unique."

How We Met

How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.

Anybody who's ever told you love at first sight was a myth was a damn lie and you can tell them Jasmine and Alex Sweet said it.

The couple initially met during their junior year of college and a decade and almost three years of marriage later, Jasmine and Alex are out here proving that Black love is alive and well in these streets and we love to see it. The duo, who make it their mission to honeymoon at least once a year, recently sat down with xoNecole and broke down the beginnings of their modern-day love story and explained that the secret to a successful long-term commitment is coming to the table as a whole ass person.

"Alex and I have always been pretty complete individuals. We didn't complete each other necessarily. We enhanced one another, and that's what made our situation unique," Jasmine shared. "We both worked really hard at who we were and appreciate each other for it. I think that's why we weren't afraid of the commitment. It was like, 'I got this because we got this!'"

"Alex and I have always been pretty complete individuals. We didn't complete each other necessarily. We enhanced one another, and that's what made our situation unique."

Despite spending months apart while chasing their dreams, the couple says that because they were focused on both their commitment to themselves and one another, they were able to pass every test with flying colors. "We were individually taking care of business to set ourselves up for each other. We weren't in a rush to get married. We were in a rush to prepare ourselves for life in general––job transitions, friends and family woes, but we were committed to each other. It was a soul tie that even we haven't been able to explain."

We talked more with Jasmine and Alex about falling in love at first sight, becoming the best version of themselves for one another, and how they've made the last two years feel like a never-ending honeymoon.

Here's what we learned:

How They Met

Jasmine: We met in college at the University of Memphis. I was pledging Alpha Kappa Alpha and he was pledging Alpha Phi Alpha in 2009. They crossed before my line did, and I saw him at a university talent show. I was hosting the event when I saw him in the crowd. I'd been pretty active on campus in different leadership roles and had never seen him before.

Later, I found out he ran track! Athletes don't get out much! As he and his line brothers were strolling around the talent show, I told my line sisters, "I want the one no one knows!" (laughs) I'd been in college for three years and was convinced my husband was nowhere to be found until I saw Alex! Little did I know, he was from Memphis and well-known! But that didn't change my mind about him!

Alex: We met in college, officially at a restaurant near the campus of the U of M. The story of how we exchanged information, as well as our first dance, is a legendary story.

First Impressions

Jasmine: I loved him from the start! Alex is the epitome of his last name––SWEET! I honestly don't know how I got so lucky. He was suave and sweet at the same time and that intrigued me. Well-spoken! Gentle! Honest! Funny! Sooooo loving.

Alex: When I first saw her, I instantly knew she was the flyest lady I have ever seen. I just wanted to be in her presence at all times, and still do.

Instant Attraction

Jasmine: No, It was love at first sight! Ha! Something in my soul felt it.

Alex: Instant. From that day, 10 years ago, the only thing I wanted to do was to be with her. I started seeing her in my dreams for the future. I knew my life was going to change forever, she was going to be in it. Crazy when I think about it, but that's how falling in love felt to me.

"From that day, 10 years ago, the only thing I wanted to do was to be with her. I started seeing her in my dreams for the future. I knew my life was going to change forever, she was going to be in it. Crazy when I think about it, but that's how falling in love felt to me."

First Date

Jasmine: My memory fails me [about our first date]. When it comes to us because we lived so much life together and grown up together. Our first phone conversation was on Christmas Eve. He'd had my phone number for two weeks, and hadn't called. I was over him! Then, he called while he was building his little brother's toys for Christmas. I melted over the phone.

We talked all night until the sun came up. I was home in Jackson for Christmas break, but when I got back to the University of Memphis campus, I invited him over. He came and there we were talking all night again. He was it for me.

Making It Official

Jasmine: It didn't take us very long to make things official. I remember the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was February 5, 2010. He actually gave a formal speech about how he didn't want to play any games. As cliche as it sounds, he was dead serious. I was shocked that he named everything that he loved about me and how he wanted to grow with me. He was 19 and I was 20. How could this be? Where had he been the first three years of college? I often felt like he was too good to be true, but he was real and it felt so good. Alex is a calm-spirited individual who is so loyal, and if he gives you his word, he means it.

"It didn't take us very long to make things official. I remember the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was February 5, 2010. He actually gave a formal speech about how he didn't want to play any games. As cliche as it sounds, he was dead serious. I was shocked that he named everything that he loved about me and how he wanted to grow with me. He was 19 and I was 20."

Alex: This a true black college love story. Two individuals in their respected organizations meet at a college party and share a moment on the dance floor together. Nothing is said, he leaves only to find her later. I was the initiator. I wanted her to know from that point on, it's Alex and Jasmine. We dated. We still date. We went to the parties together in college holding hands. We still go out holding hands into the lounge, movies, or just through the mall.

The One

Jasmine: I hate being away from Alex. 10 years later and I die a little inside at the thought of him not being here. I lost my dad a few years ago. He and my mom were married for 42 years. I sometimes just stare at Alex and think about what our long-term lives look like. Then, I say a little prayer and just surrender thoughts of forever with him. That's love.

Alex: Once a person changes the way you look on the world and life, and realizing in every moment you want that person in the picture, you know [they are the one]––at least I did.

"I lost my dad a few years ago. He and my mom were married for 42 years. I sometimes just stare at Alex and think about what our long-term lives look like. Then, I say a little prayer and just surrender thoughts of forever with him. That's love."

The Sweetest Thing

Jasmine: I love that Alex has a vibrant spirit. There isn't a dull day in my house. I come home to music thumping through the house every day. He's laughing and joyful.

Alex: Jasmine has an energy that fills the room. She makes me feel like the most important person in the world. I also love how she allows me to make her feel like the Queen she is. A perfect balance.

Love Lessons

Jasmine: Love is the best adventure of our lifetime and you have to love fearlessly. He is my person and I'll go to war for him at all costs.

Alex: This team we have [is] the best team I could ask for in this game of life. True love will have you doing whatever it takes to live the best life with each other.

Overcoming Challenges

Jasmine: We've encountered a particular issue that I won't speak of that challenged our love, but it was such a strong one that it challenged us in a way that we loved even harder. We welcome challenges because we learned how to let the Devil know who's in charge. Our marriage counselors, Rob and Robin have taught us techniques to recognize when we're letting external forces control the narrative. Now, we ward them out immediately. Don't come for our house.

"We welcome challenges because we learned how to let the Devil know who's in charge. Our marriage counselors, Rob and Robin have taught us techniques to recognize when we're letting external forces control the narrative. Now, we ward them out immediately. Don't come for our house."

Alex: Patience and understanding. We have to remind ourselves, we are only human. And at the end of the day, we have to understand we may think differently of a lot of things, we share the same goal of loving each other to the best of our ability.

For more Jasmine and Alex, follow them on Instagram!

Featured image by @jasminesweet.

ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Over the past four years, we grew accustomed to a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House. Donald Trump tweeted that “the Squad," four Democratic Congresswomen who are Black, Latinx, and South Asian, should “go back" to the “corrupt" countries they came from; that same year, he called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas," mocking her belief that she might be descended from Native American ancestors.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVID-19, didn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people.

To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy. In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. To combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality.

What is Systemic Racism?

A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Black people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system. For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them.

Systemic Equality is a Systemic Solution

In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies. The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism.

To begin, in 2021, we believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:

Voting Rights

The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U.S. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government. This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U.S. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U.S. attorneys should begin by ensuring that every American in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons who is eligible to vote can vote, and monitor the Census and redistricting process to fight the dilution of voting power in communities of color.

We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life.

Student Debt

Black borrowers pay more than other students for the same degrees, and graduate with an average of $7,400 more in debt than their white peers. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Last week, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Maxine Waters, and others, called on President Biden to cancel up to $50,000 in federal student loan debt per borrower.

We couldn't agree more. By forgiving $50,000 of student debt, President Biden can unleash pent up economic potential in Black communities, while relieving them of a burden that forestalls so many hopes and dreams. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

Postal Banking

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. The result is that nearly 50 percent of Black Americans are unbanked or underbanked, and many pay more than $2,000 in fees associated with subprime financial institutions. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family.

The U.S. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality. We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American.

Fair Housing

Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias. In 1980, the average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. By 2010, the average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white. Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration.

Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Act, or a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all.

Broadband Access

To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable. Yet today, 15 percent of American households with school-age children do not have subscriptions to any form of broadband, including one-quarter of Black households (an additional 23 percent of African Americans are “smartphone-only" internet users, meaning they lack traditional home broadband service but do own a smartphone, which is insufficient to attend class, do homework, or apply for a job). The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access.

Enhanced, Refundable Child Tax Credits

The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.K., but Mexico and Russia as well. Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U.S. do not qualify for the full benefit, compared to 23 percent of white children, and nearly one in five Black children do not receive any credit at all.

To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.

Reparations

We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. In 2021, Congress must pass H.R. 40, which would establish a commission to study reparations and make recommendations for Black Americans.

The Long View

For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases. While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation ( Brown v. Board), racial bias in the criminal legal system (Powell v. Alabama, i.e. the Scottsboro Boys), and marriage inequality (Loving v. Virginia). While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

Systemic racism continues to pervade the lives of Black people through voter suppression, lack of financial services, housing discrimination, and other areas. More than anything, doing this work has taught the ACLU that we must fight on every front in order to overcome our country's legacies of racism. That is what our Systemic Equality agenda is all about.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and signal the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy. We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed.

What you can do:
Take the pledge: Systemic Equality Agenda
Sign up

Featured image by Shutterstock

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