It's so interesting how many essential aspects of our self-care, wellness, and personal development as adults are linked to our childhood. And as much as I sometimes hate the whole cliche of tapping into an inner child (a concept of which I've struggled with because, after a few years of therapy, I've wished that metaphoric version of me would actually grow up and stop constantly instigating battles with old triggers), there are so many positives to embracing the positive aspects of child-like wonder, creativity, and fun as a very grown-ass woman.
That's where play comes in, especially in reference to the importance of enjoying life. Research has shown that adults who explore their favorite activities or hobbies from childhood and deliberately seek activities of joy can increase feelings of happiness, support, comfort, and creativity. And it's no secret that those feelings are the key to success behind many of the successful, fly Black women in business we all admire or want to emulate.
Two enterprising acquaintances-turned-friendpreneurs know just how empowering the pursuit of enjoyment can be, and they've seen the benefits —in their careers, friendships, and within the community of Black women they've built via their platform Paradise + Vibe.
Founders Iana Edwards, CEO, and Kasondra McConnell, CFO, launched the platform in 2020, offering retreats, pop-up events, and other ways for women to connect, relax, release, and, of course, have fun. Friends since 2014, they'd been on the pulse of the intersection between wellness and play in their own respective lives before teaming up for Paradise + Vibe.
"In 2019, Iana became a yoga instructor, and her career just took off in the yoga space to the point where hotels were asking her to teach," Kasondra said. "Later, we went to Jamaica for her birthday, and the last day we were there, we were just in the ocean, talking, and I said, ‘I really think you could do something where you bring people together—because you’re the attraction for the yoga—so why not use your own platform to better yourself?' From there, we came up with a name and launched with the intention to provide a space for wellness for people of color to feel safe and connected and in tune with all of the things that make you feel well and whole."
"With our retreats, we are bringing people together where they can connect in a place where they can play, be present, and get back to what they need at their core—just to feel good."
Even outside of the retreats and other events they host, Iana and Kasondra make sure they infuse play into their everyday lives, and reiterate that the activities don't have to be super-strenuous or structured. Many of the things they love to do for enjoyment in adulthood tie directly into fond memories of their childhood. Kasondra loved watching Legends of the Hidden Temple, a '90s action-adventure game show and used to create backyard obstacle courses in the backyard with her family. Today, she still loves being out in nature, enjoying the mental clarity of walking or hiking. "I oftentimes have to use my brain a lot, but with hiking, you don't. You're just putting one foot in front of the other. I live near a trail, and so I'll go walk there. And anytime I'm engulfed in water, I love it," she said.
One of Iana's favorite childhood memories of fun is going with her schoolmates to a dinosaur exhibit at Fernbank Museum in Atlanta. "We had peanut butter sandwiches, and I was just enamored with the surroundings, getting out of the classroom setting and being with my classmates. It was then that I realized joy is simple, and it's sometimes just a choice."
Iana and Kasondra pride themselves on embodying a different take on wellness, especially for Black women. "We bonded over that before I went to yoga training, and we just saw, inadvertently, a need for something that wasn't there," Iana said. "We have always been very rogue when it comes to wellness. We've given pushback on the whole [idea that] you have to eat a certain way, you have to be a vegan, you have to eat raw foods, [or] you can't eat this, you can't eat that— this trope of, to be a yogi, you have to look and identify as a certain type."
"We love to dance. We love to go out. We love to listen to ratchet music. We do yoga. We do move our bodies. But we're also people, human, and women, and we are a little bit of everything. We approached it like, 'You know what? We're going to take a true holistic approach to wellness and encompass it all and not leave out the turn-up aspect.'"
Iana, who has been practicing yoga for almost a decade (and has been trained by the best to teach it), and Kasondra, a serial entrepreneur who has worked in real estate, retail, and events, merged their talents, skills, and experiences in order to provide something to the market they felt was missing.
Courtesy of Paradise + Vibe
Both agree that wellness is all about intention and energy, not just what you put into your body. And when Black women are able to truly enjoy the things that lead to laughter, comradery, amusement, and pleasure, innovative, life-changing, and culture-shifting things happen. "One day, Kasondra said, 'Friend, wellness is about connection. It's not about whether we're eating a salad. It's so much deeper than that,'" Iana recalled.
"When you think about [when we were] children, in our most pure form as humans, we were a little more connected then," Kasondra added. "When you were playing, you were outside, taking in Vitamin D from the sun, energy from the Earth. You were connecting with other people. Play takes you out of being so heady and into the present moment. You're not so worried and anxious about what you have going on and more so connected to being present."
With Paradise + Vibe retreats, women are supported in participating in group activities and yoga, with the backdrop of paradise in global locales—including South Africa, Brazil, Mexico, and Indonesia—that truly facilitate freedom, leisure, and bliss. "There's proof that, if you look at what depression is, it's essentially being stuck in the past, and anxiety is being occupied with the future and what's to come," Kasondra said.
"So if you can do things like Bikram yoga, which Iana teaches, it's so hot and so intense but so rewarding. It gets you into the present moment. [With] play [it's] the exact same thing, so we took these ideas, and we injected it into our retreats. We select activities that allow people to do things that will take them out of their comfort zones, especially for our audience, which is predominantly Black women. We're talking about in Costa Rica, where we're white-water rafting. In Jamaica, we hiked Mayfield Falls. There's parts of the water where you have to swim, and [that took] people out of their head and got them into the present moment."
Changing the narrative on wellness, enjoyment, and self-care for Black women is vital, especially when choosing a holistic approach that's both considerate of one's personal experience and passions and pushes them to break boundaries. That's what connected Kasondra and Iana in the first place. "We love a hot spring, a body of water. Let’s get on an ATV. Let’s go to an elephant sanctuary—any kind of activity that breaks our adult avatar," Kasondra said. "When you are engaged in some sort of play, you’re the closest you’ve ever been to your childhood version of yourself."
For more on Kasondra, Iana, and Paradise + Vibe events, visit them on Instagram or their website.
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Featured image courtesy of Paradise + Vibe
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When it comes to creating a healthy scalp routine, it helps to know exactly what you’re up against so you know how to specifically treat it. Two of the most common concerns are dandruff and dry scalp. It can be tough to decipher which is which, but here’s a quick breakdown: dry scalp is caused by a lack of moisture in the skin, while dandruff is caused by an excess of oil and yeast buildup on the scalp. Knowing that both of these are big concerns, SheaMoisture released two separate product lines to address both issues: the Scalp Moisture collection and the Anti-Dandruff collection.
Needless to say, if you tend to experience dandruff then I’d recommend you try the Anti-Dandruff collection. However, my biggest concern has always been dry scalp. A lack of moisture on the scalp can be caused by several factors like weather, age, and hair products to name a few. I’ve noticed that when I use certain gels or skip out on a deep scalp cleanse, my roots feel itchy and dry nonstop, which is uncomfortable.
The only way to relieve the discomfort is to properly wash and moisturize my roots, so I tried the Scalp Moisture collection and this is what I thought.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
First, What’s In The Collection?
The Scalp Moisture collection is a four-product line that includes a pre-wash masque, a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, and a moisturizing scalp cream. Each product uses moisturizing and strengthening ingredients like aloe butter and vitamin B3 as active ingredients to provide eight times the moisture. Together, aloe butter and vitamin B3 work to restore dry and brittle hair, as well as add relief to the scalp.
Now, let’s break down each product…
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque may actually be the all-star of the collection. Using this deep conditioning masque is one of the best ways to target your dry scalp, restore hydration, and nourish your strands before shampooing.
I started by completely saturating my hair and scalp with water, then making small sections to apply the masque directly to the root. For my girls who have experience with relaxers and perms, it helps to apply the masque to your roots just like you would do with a relaxer. This way you can make sure you’ve covered as much of your scalp as possible while minimizing any breakage.
Pro tip: you can also use a color application brush to make this step easier.
After I completely covered my scalp, I massaged the product into my roots, used any excess on my strands, then left the masque in for 30 minutes. I was shocked by how moisturizing and clarifying my scalp and hair felt. One of the things that I love about the masque is the slip and how much softer it made my hair. While this is marketed as a scalp care product, it can completely transform your hair from dry and parched to completely hydrated.
In my opinion, the downside of this masque is that the quantity is too small for my liking. Truth be told, naturals go through deep conditioners faster than any other product (especially when it’s this good.) So SheaMoisture, if you’re reading this, we’d love a bigger jar.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Shampoo
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Shampoo is a gentle cleanser packed with the same moisture as the masque. The pearl-colored shampoo is lightweight with a serum-like consistency and a light and clean scent. The smell is pleasant, subtle, and not overbearing. When I applied the shampoo, I noticed immediately that it foams and lathers up very quickly, so less is more.
After applying the shampoo, I parted my hair and started at the roots to target as much of my scalp as possible. I recommend really taking the time to work the product and massage your scalp as much as possible.
Pro tip: using a scalp massager makes it easier and it feels amazing.
Once you start to massage your hair you’ll feel the product start to work. There’s a tingling sensation that might catch you off guard if you’re not used to it, but it’s not nearly as strong as other scalp products I’ve tried. I know some may not appreciate the sensation, but I loved it! My scalp felt clean, light, and breathable.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Conditioner
Like the shampoo, the SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Conditioner shares that pearly color and serum-like feel. It applies very easily while softening and moisturizing your hair. When I applied it to my hand, it gave my hands a lotion-like feel, which speaks volumes about its hydration capabilities. I also loved that the conditioner comes with a pump, instead of having to squeeze the product out – to me, it makes application easier.
I typically apply my conditioner to the ends first but because this is a scalp care product I started at the root and worked my way down to my ends. I did leave the conditioner in for ten minutes, although the bottle recommends leaving it in for three. The conditioner also provides that same breathable feel to your scalp. I honestly loved the relief.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Cream
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Cream is more of a daily relief product for your roots rather than your overall hair. It’s great for providing moisture and immediate relief to a dry and itchy scalp. Just like most of the collection, it gives a light and breathable feel – without the tingle. The applicator bottle targets specific parts of your scalp and makes applying easier.
Pro tip: I typically just squeeze the bottle to wherever I need the relief and use the tip to massage it into my scalp so it doesn’t mess up the hairstyle.
Overall, SheaMoisture’s scalp care line lives up to its claims – it moisturizes, strengthens, and provides immediate scalp relief. I definitely recommend trying the Scalp Moisture collection for an affordable way to treat itchy and dry scalp.
Featured image by Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
As the news about Smith's passing was officially confirmed by family and on Wild 'N' Out's social media pages, a magnitude of people, from fans to the couple's close friends and colleagues such as B.Simone, Jessie Woo, Vena "Pretty Vee" Excell, Lauren "Lolo" Wood, Odell Beckham Jr., Cedric the Entertainer, D.L. Hughley, and so many others offered their condolences while honoring the mother of three.
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Warner Bros
Two days after Smith's death, Whitfield released a public statement to People magazine thanking everyone for their "well-wishes" and asking for "privacy during this difficult time."
The following week on June 8, Whitfield paid tribute to Smith by sharing a post on Instagram that featured various photos and videos of the pair and their children, daughters Nova Whitfield,6, Nala Whitefield,2, and a son, who was born in July 2022, named Prince Whitfield.
In addition to the upload, Whitfield revealed that he waited a while to post this because he wanted the tragic event "to be a dream." The 31-year-old would add that as the days go by following Smith's passing, he's "reminded of" the reality that she's no longer here, and he wanted to make sure to commemorate her in a "proper manner." Further into the post, Whitfield praised Smith for being the "greatest mother" and human being.
"I wasn't in no rush to post this because I wanted it to be a dream so bad, but every hour, I'm reminded of reality, so I wanna make sure I applaud you in the proper manner,” he said. “You are the GREATEST MOTHER I KNOW your soul was beautiful. You always wanted the best for others, and I admired how our family love each other!!! Never had to worry about our kids loving each other cause you were on top of Dat!!!"
Whitfield would disclose that although he may not understand Smith's untimely passing, however, because he and their family are "God-fearing" people and "grounded by the spirit," they aren't questioning "the higher power" but rather rolling "with the punches," while holding on to their faith during this tragedy.
The Almost Christmas star went on to say that the pair's "strong" children will constantly be reminded of how great of a person Smith was, "especially a great mother."
Whitfield would wrap up the upload by mentioning how much he loved Smith and that, even though everyone is hurting right now, they would be okay because God covers them.
"The QUEEN of my children will always have a spot in my heart and the paradise (You gon get me for Dat but it's true). LOVE YOU FOREVER. Just know we going harder than ever, and GOD is in control, and he got us covered," he stated.
In light of Smith's death, xoNecole takes a look back at her relationship with Whitfield and the love they shared over the years.
DC Young Fly And Jacky Oh's Relationship History
Whitfield and Smith met in 2015 in a hotel lobby while working together at Wild 'N' Out.
At the time, Whitfield became a recurring cast member during the show's seventh season while Smith was one of the Wild 'N' Out girls. Whitfield and Smith would become an item shortly after the season seven taping of Wild 'N' Out wrapped.
In 2016, after dating for a year and a half, the couple welcomed their oldest daughter Nova. In addition to expanding their family, Smith and Whitfield would give fans a closer look into their lives through social media and the model's YouTube page, which instantly became a hit.
Smith and Whitfield would ultimately become couple goals because people enjoyed their honesty, interactions with each other, and their family life.
Jacky Oh On What Makes Her Relationship With DC Young Fly Work
In a 2017 interview with DJ Smallz Eyes, Smith shared that her relationship with Whitfield works reasonably well because they aren't afraid to have an open line of communication and are willing to address any situation head-on.
"I think communication, I know it sounds really cliche, but just communicate with each other. I think getting things off of your chest in a nice, calm way. You don't always have to be confrontational with the person. But letting a person know how you feel about something so they don't carry on doing it for the next three, four, five months, years later on down the line."
Smith added that another factor that plays a part in the couple's relationship being so successful is her selectively picking her battles and choosing to address the situation in a timely manner.
Jacky Oh On The Pair's Humble Beginnings As A Couple
In 2019, during a Q&A session on Smith's YouTube page, the couple opened up about their humble beginnings as they addressed the wild rumors that she was using Whitfield for financial reasons.
While responding to the remarks, Smith clarified that when she met Whitfield, he didn't have money "like that."
"He had no money. It's not like he didn't have any money because he was broke, but he didn't have no money like that," she said.
Following Smith's comments, Whitfield jumped in and said he was "up" $40,000 and still living with family members with the occasional "hotel" stays, to which she interjected and corrected the comedian by saying that the pair were staying at "motels" early on in their relationship.
"We didn't stay at hotels, get it right. We stayed at motels. Talking about hotels, hotels are nice," she stated. "We stayed at motels that the bed stunk... You know I really like love him. Like it was dirty."
Whitfield would add that although they stayed at motels several times, Smith "thugged it out" with him because she loved him. Smith also shared that due to Whitfield rarely being home due to his profession, the couple slept on his sister's couch and his niece's room.
But as Smith and Whitfield's careers took off respectively within the entertainment industry and the beauty world, with the star launching her eyelash and lip gloss brand J Nova Collection, they would ultimately settle down and purchase a home.
Years later, in addition to their professional success, Smith and Whitfield's family would expand even more following the birth of their second daughter Nala Whitfield in 2020 and their son Prince Whitfield last July.
Although it is reported that the couple never married after eight years together, their love seemed stronger than ever, especially following Smith's Mother's Day post back in May, which featured images of the couple and their family.
All of us at xoNecole would like to send our condolences to everyone affected by this tragedy. Rest In Peace, Ms. Jacky Oh!
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Feature image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images
