Criticism becomes a big pain in the ass if it's not constructive and being presented in a way to help you better yourself.
What's even worst is when that annoying critic is none other than yourself.
It's like you have a person living inside of you that is pushing you to do better in the worst way. If I could shut off the narrator inside of my head that keeps watching my every move, telling me how I'm not doing a good enough job at anything, my life would be all sunshine and rainbows. I would literally wake up on any given day ready to slay without the slightest doubt in my mind.
For as long as I could remember, I've always struggled with being proud of my own accomplishments instead of downplaying them and beating myself up about all of the things that I didn't accomplish yet. At times, I become so focused on where I want to be in life that I don't take the time out to acknowledge the “little things" that are helping me get there. I've never formally been diagnosed with having an anxiety disorder, but after a few visits to WebMD, I'm convinced that I'm harboring some form of it. The anxiety of being able to accomplish all these things that I have set fourth to do in life at times makes me question my own ability to execute.
My mom confronted me about this many times over the years, especially throughout college. I often brushed it off, but momma knows best, right? It began to weigh heavy on my brain, especially on those days that I beat myself up about not being a self-made billionaire at 22, so I decided to take some actionable steps and make a change. I call this channeling my inner Kanye. Nobody is as proud of Kanye than Kanye himself.
Here are some of the things I'm doing to own my slay in the making while pushing my inner self critic out. I don't want to fuel this fire anymore!
1. Positive hand written notes-to-self
Like many people, I take time out everyday of my life to write to-do lists that overwhelm me and give me more reason to be a self-critic when everything is checked off at the end of the day. To combat this, I'm now dropping “you did that" notes into my little red mailbox on my desk highlighting things that I've accomplished, no matter how big or small. When I feel like that inner self-critic is about to make an appearance, I just read a note from my mailbox to remind myself that I got this!
2. Uplifting “Go Me" Playlists
For me, it's something about dead silence that can turn my inner critic into a real chatty patty. I keep an inspirational playlist with songs that always put me in a good mood handy. If I'm somewhere that allows me to listen to this playlist, I make sure I do. I essentially created the soundtrack of the life that I'm imagining myself living that sometimes give me anxiety.
3. Complimenting myself out loud
Some people may say talking to yourself is a sure sign of schizophrenia; I say it's a perfect way to combat those not so positive thoughts in your head. Taking the time out to give yourself a motivational speech may just be the boost that you need to push through. Especially when there is no one around for you to run to.
4. Stop comparing myself to others
This is crucial. It doesn't matter if someone is the same age as you, from the same hometown, same shoe size, whatever, you should never benchmark where you should be at any point in your life off of someone else's accomplishments. It simply doesn't make sense. Your path is your path. Stay in your own lane and keep your eyes on your own prize.
5. Realize that I am human
It's really as simple as that. Errare humanum est…to error is human. The important thing is that you learn from your errors along the way. Once I learned that losing one time doesn't make you a loser, it just makes you better prepared to win the next time around, I handled my defeats with grace.
Silencing that critic inside of your head forever may not be practical, persay, but the steps that are you taking to make sure she never gets the best of you again makes all the difference.
What are some ways that you silence your inner critic?