If You're Gonna DIY Dye Your Hair This Fall, Read This.
I don't know if it's the fall season's vibrantly colored leaves that makes so many of us wanna switch things up or, it's because autumn kicks off the holiday season and we wanna look as fly as possible (that's our true motivator). But there's something about the here and now that inspires a lot of us to change our hair—more specifically, our hair color.
I totally get it because I've done it. But with age and experience come wisdom. So, now that I'm just as interested in maintaining length (check out "This Is Why Your Natural Hair Ain't Growin'" and "7 Tips For Getting The Edges And Nape Of Your Neck To Grow Faster"), as I am in throwing some color in, I wanted to share some tips on how you can get the bold and beautiful hue that you want without totally wrecking your tresses in the process.
Have You Considered Taking an All-Natural Approach?
OK, so when it comes to going the all-natural route on hair color, I'll be real with you—unless it's something like hair wax (which is dope but it only lasts a few days), natural options tend to lean more on the subtle side. Even henna (which is wonderful at also conditioning your hair) typically doesn't end up being as bold and brilliant as you might like it to be. But, if subtle is what you're aiming for, there are some things that you can add to your hair that are virtually damage-free. Coffee can create a brown richness to your hair (there's a DIY video here). Or, if you want a subtle red tint to your mane, beet juice can typically do the trick (check out a DIY video for that here).
If Louder Is What You Want, Assess How Healthy Your Hair Is First
If you don't want anything subtle or a hair color option that won't last more than a few days, before you decide to dye your hair, take it from someone who has failed miserably at this particular point in times past—you really need to assess the state of your hair before doing anything drastic to it. What I mean is, you need to check it to see how healthy it is—or isn't—first.
If you've got split ends, your hair is extremely dry, if it lacks elasticity (it breaks easily), if it seems extremely frizzy or won't hold a style or your ends are raggedy AF—these are all indications that color is the last thing that your hair needs right now; especially since inclement weather will only dry your hair out further.
For the moment, focus on restoring your hair's health by deep conditioning it for a couple of months, trimming your ends and, giving yourself a protein treatment if it needs one (Naturally Curly has a good read on how to know if you need one of those. You can check it out here.) Yes, all of this might delay the time that it will take before you can get the color that you want, but it's better to have healthy locks with beautiful color than beautiful color that will result in you having to big chop because of how damaged your hair was before you actually dyed it.
Then Determine How Dramatic You Want Your Color to Be
Once your hair is in a good and healthy state, the next thing to ponder is how dramatic you want to go, on the color tip. This consists of factoring in personal preference, trends and also what will stress your hair out the most. As far as trends go, colors that are popular for winter 2020 and spring 2021 include deep burgundies, rich and smokey shades of blue (midnight blues are super dope on us, by the way), caramel hues, sombre highlights (which is basically a technique that puts two shades of highlights over medium brown hair color), deep brown, cinnamon and even silver is still hanging in there.
One of the reasons why it's so important to know how light (or dark) you want to take it is because certain looks need peroxide to lighten your natural color so that drastic hues will take properly. When the pigment of your hair is stripped, that automatically damages your cuticles to a certain degree, which means that you'll have to "baby your hair" so that you don't experience a lot of shedding or breakage. Plus, based on what you desire the end result to look like, you might need to seek out a professional's help 'cause listen y'all—I don't care what those box brand commercials tell you, sometimes you can't get the results you want without significantly lifting your natural color and oftentimes, that requires a pro to make sure that your hair stays in good shape once you do it. Always keep in mind, the lighter the shade, the more vulnerable your hair will become. Vulnerable hair is fragile hair. Factor that in as you're making your decision.
Will Semi-Permanent (or a Rinse) Do the Trick?
When I was in my 20s, my hair color was all over the place. Because I rocked a short 'do, pretty much most of the time, it could easily be blonde one week, red the next and then some shade of brown the following month. In my 40s, I like jet black a lot. But because I've known that dark hair dye has a breast cancer link, for a while now, I've been going with a black hair rinse which is basically a lower level option of semi-permanent hair color. How is that the case?
Well, while semi-permanent hair color can last through eight or so shampoos, rinses sometimes go away after only a couple. A plus with rinses is, since rinses coat but do not penetrate your hair shaft, they are considerably better for your hair.
As far as semi-permanent hair colors go, because they don't contain the bleach or ammonia that permanent dyes do, this makes them a much gentler option for your hair that permanent dyes are. Does semi-permanent hair color pose the same amount of a health risk as permanent dyes do? From what I've read, not exactly. But there is still some risk. Anything other than an all-natural hair color option poses at least a little bit of one.
Anyway, the main thing to keep in mind when it comes to going with a rinse or semi-permanent hair color is it's not permanent. You will have to apply more color, more often. A good maintenance hack is you should wash your hair with cool water so that your color stays longer. Personally, because I don't shampoo my hair any more than twice a month, rinses are just fine for me. Plus, I've only seen my hair thrive since I made the decision to leave permanent hair color alone.
If Not, Go with a Gel Color and Get More than One Box of It
If after reading all of what I just said, you still wanna go with something permanent and you still wanna do it at home, make sure that you go with a gel color. Why? It's honestly the kind of dye that will give natural hair textures the type of coverage that we truly need (a good runner-up is liquid hair dye). Also, make sure that you purchase more than one box. I don't know one person, pretty much regardless of what their hair length is, that is able to fully cover their entire head with just one bottle of hair dye. And again—and it really can't be stressed enough—if you want to go significantly lighter, the box alone is probably not gonna do it. You will need to lighten the base of your hair first. They sell them at local beauty supply stores. (Although I've watched a couple of naturalistas offer up a few non-lightener hacks. You can check out two of the videos that I've seen before here and here).
Prep and Maintain Your Hair with Wisdom—and Consistency
Once you've decided what kind of dye you want to use, it's equally important that you have a hair prep and hair maintenance play in place. As far as hair prepping goes, while I hope that you're already doing this, please make sure to deep condition your hair, every week, the month prior to coloring your hair. The more moisturized your tresses are, the better they will be able to handle the stress and strain that dye can cause your cuticles. Also, shampooing your hair with a clarifying shampoo, about a week before adding color, is a good idea because it will remove any product build-up that could make it challenging for your color to fully take.
As far as maintenance on the backend, it's important that you use a color-safe shampoo because it will help your color to last longer. Definitely do not slack up on your deep conditioning routine. Make sure to seal your ends with Jamaican black castor oil or something like avocado oil (you can watch a video on how to do that here). Try and rock protective styles at least four days a week (to protect your vulnerable ends). Oh, and since we are headed towards much cooler weather, make sure to line your fly hats so that they don't dry your hair out.
If you are diligent in doing all of these things, I have no doubt that you can end up with the color that you want without sacrificing the health of your hair. You will be looking amazing all fall and winter with extra inches to bring about, come spring. Dope, right? I know.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
From Heartbreak To Healing: The Multifaceted Journey Of Nazanin Mandi
Nazanin Mandi is never out of options.
About a year ago, the 37-year-old life coach and actress was navigating life after divorce and determined to experience homeownership for the first time as a single woman. She’d been married to the R&B singer Miguel for three years, following a long-term relationship that started when she was 18 years old. But, in 2022, she filed for divorce. It was certainly the most public change she made but, in reality, it was just one of many decisions to refocus and reach her full potential in recent years.
“During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been,” she says in an xoNecole exclusive.
Still, as Mandi worked to get to know herself and her needs during this new phase of life, she realized the home she’d purchased wasn’t a good fit. Overwhelmed by the echoing of her voice in the spacious home, she had a breakdown and called her cousin, who immediately suggested she lease the home and live somewhere else. “I woke up in my house, and I was like, ‘This is not it for me,” she says. “All those years, I had been accustomed to living a certain way [and] in a certain house, so I bought myself a house like [my old home]. But my family was not the same. Waking up in that house by myself, it highlighted the divorce. I was like, ‘Oh, no, we can’t do this. This is not it.’ My life has changed, so my choices need to change.” At that moment, Mandi became open to the idea that there wasn’t one set way to achieve ownership on her own.
“I feel so much better. I’m in a smaller place. My best friend lives a minute from me and I can walk to her house,” she tells me during a Zoom interview from her home one recent afternoon in early February. In the past two years, she hasn’t just been advising other people on varying circumstances, she’s also been healing herself.
"During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been."
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If supporters began following Nazanin Mandi because of her conventional beauty or the contagious, bright, white smile she often wears in many of her photos, that’s likely not the reason they’ve stuck around. Instead, she’s amassed a following based on her transparency about her own anxiety and depression, along with the encouraging messages of self-acceptance, gratitude, ambition, and humility that are often sprinkled into her social media posts.
In an era where looking at Instagram photos of models can often lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity, Nazanin Mandi is determined to be more than eye candy. She’s food for her follower’s souls, too.
Since being recruited to model while dining at an In-N-Out at 10 years old, Mandi has worked in many areas of entertainment. The Valencia, California native has modeled for brands such as Olay, Savage X Fenty, and Good American. As a teen, she sang at Carnegie Hall and auditioned for season 1 of American Idol, making it all the way to Hollywood before producers disqualified her for lying about her age. (Mandi was 15 at the time, and contestants had to be at least 16 years old.) Mandi has acted, too, including appearing on Disney’s That’s So Raven as a teenager and on the BET+ series Games People Play and the Prime series Á La Carte in more recent years.
In recent years, though, she’s also expanded her professional goals outside of entertainment, too. After becoming a certified life coach in 2020, Mandi launched the membership platform You Bloome in 2022 with the hopes of providing wellness services to others, including her self-published gratitude journal. “I wish I had access to something like You Bloome earlier in my own life,” she writes on the company’s website. The actress, who has been forthcoming about her struggles with anxiety and depression, has never had a life coach, but credits therapy as a tool that “really, really saved me and it laid the foundation to who I am becoming.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
"I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself."
While she’s always had a nurturing personality, Mandi says her interest in becoming a life coach was inspired by the women who would message her for advice on social media. “I would answer them back. It really sparked a fire within myself to help people,” she says.
You Bloome currently has three membership tiers, ranging in price from $2.99 to $39.99 per month. The highest tier offers a motivational text message twice a week, two live, group coaching sessions per month, and more. “We get emotional. We cry. We laugh. It’s really beautiful. I’ve built close relationships with my members through this. It’s been inspiring both ways,” Mandi says of the sessions. Still, the founder says she hopes to take on more motivational and keynote speaking opportunities in the future with the hopes of impacting as many people as possible.
And, she’s hoping to do all of this while continuing to explore a career as an entertainer.
At this point in her life, Mandi says she’s gained enough perspective on modeling, music, and acting to realize what she wants to prioritize moving forward. “We are going full force with acting,” she says, noting her goal is “to book a series regular or a film that impacts my career and the world.” She plans to continue to model, too, but has no desire to pursue music.
“I don’t want any part of that because I know what that life entails,” she says. “I don’t want to tour. I don’t want to do any of that. That is not where my heart is at.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If you ask Mandi, she’ll tell you she feels most comfortable in front of a camera, but she’ll also admit that she’s recently experienced a lot of imposter syndrome when thinking about her acting career. “I think it’s a fear of not succeeding,” she says. If anything, she adds, she’s harder on herself now than she’s ever been. “There were distractions before. There’s no distractions now,” she says. “I’m putting pressure on myself for no reason.”
This is where the life coach’s own personal healing comes into play. Mandi says she’s learning recently that “slow progress is still big progress at the end of the day.”
“Currently, I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself,” she adds.
Still, one of Mandi’s strengths is that she doesn’t feel the pressure to limit herself to just one passion. From working as a life coach to pursuing acting, she has given herself grace to explore all other dreams.
“We can be allowed to be many different things in this lifetime,” she says. “As people, our identities are allowed to expand. Don’t put us in a fucking box. I cannot live that way anymore.”
For more of Nazanin, follow her on Instagram @nazaninmandi.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Solmaz Saberi
From Heartbreak To Healing: The Multifaceted Journey Of Nazanin Mandi
Nazanin Mandi is never out of options.
About a year ago, the 37-year-old life coach and actress was navigating life after divorce and determined to experience homeownership for the first time as a single woman. She’d been married to the R&B singer Miguel for three years, following a long-term relationship that started when she was 18 years old. But, in 2022, she filed for divorce. It was certainly the most public change she made but, in reality, it was just one of many decisions to refocus and reach her full potential in recent years.
“During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been,” she says in an xoNecole exclusive.
Still, as Mandi worked to get to know herself and her needs during this new phase of life, she realized the home she’d purchased wasn’t a good fit. Overwhelmed by the echoing of her voice in the spacious home, she had a breakdown and called her cousin, who immediately suggested she lease the home and live somewhere else. “I woke up in my house, and I was like, ‘This is not it for me,” she says. “All those years, I had been accustomed to living a certain way [and] in a certain house, so I bought myself a house like [my old home]. But my family was not the same. Waking up in that house by myself, it highlighted the divorce. I was like, ‘Oh, no, we can’t do this. This is not it.’ My life has changed, so my choices need to change.” At that moment, Mandi became open to the idea that there wasn’t one set way to achieve ownership on her own.
“I feel so much better. I’m in a smaller place. My best friend lives a minute from me and I can walk to her house,” she tells me during a Zoom interview from her home one recent afternoon in early February. In the past two years, she hasn’t just been advising other people on varying circumstances, she’s also been healing herself.
"During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been."
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If supporters began following Nazanin Mandi because of her conventional beauty or the contagious, bright, white smile she often wears in many of her photos, that’s likely not the reason they’ve stuck around. Instead, she’s amassed a following based on her transparency about her own anxiety and depression, along with the encouraging messages of self-acceptance, gratitude, ambition, and humility that are often sprinkled into her social media posts.
In an era where looking at Instagram photos of models can often lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity, Nazanin Mandi is determined to be more than eye candy. She’s food for her follower’s souls, too.
Since being recruited to model while dining at an In-N-Out at 10 years old, Mandi has worked in many areas of entertainment. The Valencia, California native has modeled for brands such as Olay, Savage X Fenty, and Good American. As a teen, she sang at Carnegie Hall and auditioned for season 1 of American Idol, making it all the way to Hollywood before producers disqualified her for lying about her age. (Mandi was 15 at the time, and contestants had to be at least 16 years old.) Mandi has acted, too, including appearing on Disney’s That’s So Raven as a teenager and on the BET+ series Games People Play and the Prime series Á La Carte in more recent years.
In recent years, though, she’s also expanded her professional goals outside of entertainment, too. After becoming a certified life coach in 2020, Mandi launched the membership platform You Bloome in 2022 with the hopes of providing wellness services to others, including her self-published gratitude journal. “I wish I had access to something like You Bloome earlier in my own life,” she writes on the company’s website. The actress, who has been forthcoming about her struggles with anxiety and depression, has never had a life coach, but credits therapy as a tool that “really, really saved me and it laid the foundation to who I am becoming.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
"I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself."
While she’s always had a nurturing personality, Mandi says her interest in becoming a life coach was inspired by the women who would message her for advice on social media. “I would answer them back. It really sparked a fire within myself to help people,” she says.
You Bloome currently has three membership tiers, ranging in price from $2.99 to $39.99 per month. The highest tier offers a motivational text message twice a week, two live, group coaching sessions per month, and more. “We get emotional. We cry. We laugh. It’s really beautiful. I’ve built close relationships with my members through this. It’s been inspiring both ways,” Mandi says of the sessions. Still, the founder says she hopes to take on more motivational and keynote speaking opportunities in the future with the hopes of impacting as many people as possible.
And, she’s hoping to do all of this while continuing to explore a career as an entertainer.
At this point in her life, Mandi says she’s gained enough perspective on modeling, music, and acting to realize what she wants to prioritize moving forward. “We are going full force with acting,” she says, noting her goal is “to book a series regular or a film that impacts my career and the world.” She plans to continue to model, too, but has no desire to pursue music.
“I don’t want any part of that because I know what that life entails,” she says. “I don’t want to tour. I don’t want to do any of that. That is not where my heart is at.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If you ask Mandi, she’ll tell you she feels most comfortable in front of a camera, but she’ll also admit that she’s recently experienced a lot of imposter syndrome when thinking about her acting career. “I think it’s a fear of not succeeding,” she says. If anything, she adds, she’s harder on herself now than she’s ever been. “There were distractions before. There’s no distractions now,” she says. “I’m putting pressure on myself for no reason.”
This is where the life coach’s own personal healing comes into play. Mandi says she’s learning recently that “slow progress is still big progress at the end of the day.”
“Currently, I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself,” she adds.
Still, one of Mandi’s strengths is that she doesn’t feel the pressure to limit herself to just one passion. From working as a life coach to pursuing acting, she has given herself grace to explore all other dreams.
“We can be allowed to be many different things in this lifetime,” she says. “As people, our identities are allowed to expand. Don’t put us in a fucking box. I cannot live that way anymore.”
For more of Nazanin, follow her on Instagram @nazaninmandi.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Solmaz Saberi