There's self-care Sunday, and there's Beyoncé's routine, Cécred Sundays - a weekly ritual she coined in honor of her haircare line, Cécred. InGQ’s October cover story, the singer and serial entrepreneur let the publication in on her newest Sunday routine, where she practices self-care.
"I take baths with essential oils. I do acupuncture, cupping, reflexology, and I play my sound bowls with my kids. I make honey, paint, decorate, swim, and design clothes and stages. I have written children's books for my children and design animation. Anything creative makes me happy. I also edit for fun. I genuinely enjoy it."
Following this interview, Beyoncé went viral sharing her entire wash day routine online filled with old and new Cécred products showing off her tresses and her tried and true routine to keep her hair healthy to Cécred's followers. She gave us a voiceover, step-by-step details, and those strands and hair follicles. Okay, Influencer Bey!
Beyoncé's proclamation of self-care and her journey to resting more and prioritizing herself truly echoes the sentiments of Black women all over the world who are yearning for deep rest, and sustainable wellness routines to curate time to pour into themselves and remember that we are much more than the work that we do, we are human beings that deserve to lean into self-preservation.
It's almost impossible to discuss Beyoncé without the acknowledgment of her next-level work ethic, but what does it look like to not just channel her ability to get sh*t done but to do absolutely nothing but care for yourself?
In order to commit to the process, of course, I had to get some Cécred. Their new Hydrating Conditioner, said to instantly strengthen and fortify the hair, was just released, so once I had my hands on that (and cleared my schedule because wash day is just that - a day), I started my day like Beyoncé's with a few additions of my own radical self-care necessities that I think she’d approve of.
The wash day hero has arrived.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
6:30 a.m. Alexa, play "Church Girl." Daily, I wake up and listen to my church's daily prayer call. My relationship with the church throughout life has been at times..difficult. Growing up a preacher's kid wasn't the easiest experience, but as Bey said - nobody can judge me but me; I was born free.
Actively choosing to heal from church trauma while going to church constantly again at times can stir up some old emotions, but starting my days with prayer never is. It gives me comfort and reminds me that God is with me and that people are praying for me.
7 a.m. I walked my goldendoodle; idk if Queen Bey has pets, but mine is serious about his walks, so we took a stroll together and came home and had breakfast, and I made myself an iced coffee. I use glass can-shaped glasses and straws (it makes the experience more intentional and memorable for me, like I'm at my own personal coffee shop) and sit at my window staring out at the tall buildings in my neighborhood. I usually turn on Girlfriends or Half & Half while preparing for church.
10 a.m. After showering and getting ready for church, I set aside my swim necessities because I knew I'd want to spend some time in the water after service. I've been swimming since I was a little girl. My father taught me how to do it, and it's been my favorite hobby ever since. I put my bag in the living room to remind me when I got home, and headed to church.
11 a.m. I arrive at church and greet my mama, who's also the pastor of the church. She's the first woman in history to be the senior pastor of her church, so it's a beautiful thing to see her living out her dreams. My family is everything to me, and Beyoncé is the ultimate family girl, so what better way to spend Sunday than with your loved ones?
Nothing beats an early afternoon swim.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
2 p.m. Church is over, and I'm headed to the pool, but before I get into the water, I pretreat my hair before the swim with some water and Cécred Nourishing Hair Oil. As a swimmer, I pride myself on keeping my hair healthy, and in order to protect my hair from being saturated with chlorinated water, I soak my hair in fresh water and apply hair oil to the ends of it. This allows the chlorinated water less of an opportunity to penetrate the hair and cause more damage overall.
3 p.m. During swim time, I love to play music. I swim above and underwater, and I curate a playlist to bring with me filled with soul music and overall music that stills and calms me. I swim for an hour, touch the lights in the pool at each lap, and speak aloud what I want to pray and manifest as I grab hold of them.
Posting up post-swim.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
4 p.m. Out the pool, and ready for my #CécredWashDay with Cécred's Clarifying Shampoo & Scalp Scrub. I followed up with the Hydrating Shampoo in the spa shower and then applied the new hydrating conditioner! It just launched this month, so I was anxious to try it out in my wash day routine. I'll admit, I don't usually reach for a lightweight conditioner because my hair is pretty thick, that said, I know women IRL who have used Cécred religiously for months, and their hair is growing and flourishing - so we're on board with the entire routine and will report back by winter on my results!
The line-up.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
After rinsing out the conditioner, I took the wash day a little further, applied the Moisturizing Deep Conditioner, and headed to the sauna. Sauna time allows me to let my body sweat and release toxins, and I get to have the ultimate deep conditioning experience, it's a 2-for-1.
I stay in until the conditioning cap feels hot, and then I go rinse it out, I applied Cécred Moisture Sealing Lotion to lock in all that moisture from the treatment, and their new Restoring Hair & Edge Drops because my edges need some TLC after years of braids and tight ponytails.
Giving my curls the ultimate deep-conditioning experience.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
5 p.m. I come back upstairs, walk my dog, and do some reading before I have dinner. Since it's Sunday, I head to my aunt's house for dinner. She started getting the family together after church to eat on Sundays, and we don't do it every week, but when she hits the group chat, we show up. She has dogs as well, so I bring my dog with me, and he eats dinner with his cousins.
We eat dinner, dance to music, and catch up on what's going on in each other's lives. We danced to the classics and started off honoring the loss of Frankie Beverly, then played some Michael Jackson, and ended with Sade (who my aunt was named after) and Luther Vandross.
9 p.m. I'm finally home from a beautiful Cécred Self-Care Sunday. My hair is clean, I'm fed (spiritually and physically), and I'm ending the day in bed with a book.
10/10 recommend a #CécredSunday wash day routine with a few of your own recommendations, of course. I can't wait for next week to come, and this time, I might add some more Bey-approved rituals (painting and maybe even a sound bowl.)
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
The Final Mercury Retrograde Of 2024 Is Here—How This Bold Energy Will Shift Your Perspective
The final Mercury retrograde of the year arrives this month, and this is an opportunity to close one chapter and prepare for a new one. Mercury retrogrades are the time of the year when you take a step back, assess where your life currently is, and be a little more flexible with how things are playing out for you. When Mercury is in retrograde, miscommunications and misdirections are more likely; however, this isn’t the time to fear where you are headed; it’s more about looking at things from a different perspective right now.
Mercury enters Sagittarius on November 2, will be retrograde from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15, and will be in this sign until Jan. 8, 2025. Mercury in Sagittarius is bold and outspoken but, in retrograde, can come across as impulsive and brash. Thinking before speaking is important right now, and so is considering your values and interests before committing to something new. Since Sagittarius rules long-distance travel, this isn’t the best time to plan a new trip or to rush the ones already in place.
Consider where you want to be, and take your time getting there.
What to Expect from Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
A little more than a week after Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, Mars goes retrograde in Leo. With these important transits happening in fire signs, energy can be misdirected right now. It’s about looking at the full picture and not overwhelming yourself with too many options or interests. Take your passions and align them with your heart and willpower, without confusing inspiration with ego. Emotions are running high, yet this activation is creating a breakthrough in personal development before the year ends.
Read below to see how this Mercury retrograde transit will be for you. Read for your sun sign and rising sign.
Your Sun Sign and Rising Sign Horoscopes for Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
ARIES
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and you are focused on the bigger picture right now, Aries. With Mercury retrograde in your 9th house of adventure over the next few weeks, this is the time to expect the unexpected and to go at your own pace. Don’t rush the clarity that is meant to bloom for you right now, and take things one day at a time.
Even if you don’t have all the answers you need right now, there are still some important truths and insights to gain. You are in the process of reinventing yourself and your life, and the universe is helping you get the space in order to do so. If you are traveling over the next few weeks, remember to be flexible and to go over plans thoroughly.
TAURUS
Mercury goes retrograde, and you enter a time of change and rebirth, Taurus. This transit, for you, is an opportunity to gain balance, perspective, and empowerment. Your commitments and close partnerships are being addressed right now, and you are seeing where your needs are being met and where they aren’t. You are on a journey of letting go and allowing more, and this is the time to focus on being more flexible rather than controlling outcomes.
This retrograde could also be affecting your shared finances and earnings, and this is a good time to take another look at the money coming in and the money going out and make sure things are in order here. Trust your intuition right now, Taurus.
GEMINI
Mercury goes retrograde in your sister sign, Sagittarius, and you are ready for a fresh perspective in love. This retrograde will highlight your 7th house of partnership, connection, romance, and inner harmony, and your heart is figuring things out right now. Confusion or disagreements are more likely within your relationship dynamics, and this is the time to address what your partnerships need.
If you have been feeling out of balance when it comes to love, then this is the time to get things back on track.
This Mercury retrograde is helping you gain a new perspective and reminds you that you deserve the love you are looking for. Use this time to forgive, grow, and use better judgment regarding matters of the heart and the relationships you are building in your life right now.
Coveteur
CANCER
This Mercury retrograde transit for you is a chance to gain some renewed clarity regarding your health, well-being, and work life. You could be feeling more pressure to perform and have it all together on the job, and there is a need to delegate, let go, and take care of your health more right now, Cancer.
This transit will highlight where some cracks are seeping, where you may need to build stronger foundations and healthier daily routines, and also how you can manage a better work/life balance. Your daily lifestyle may feel a little more difficult to find consistency in right now, and this is because new avenues and perspectives are waiting for you to grab ahold of. Overall, use this time to listen to your inner voice and do more of what feels right for you and your body.
LEO
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and this transit highlights your 5th house of romance, creativity, passion, and happiness, Leo. This retrograde is an opportunity for you to address what and who makes you happy and how you can show up more for these fortunate experiences in your life. You are looking at if you’ve been making your happiness as much of a priority as it should be this year and also taking a look at what sources help you align with that energy altogether.
This time is about being a little bit more flexible, doing things differently, and being open to a new perspective. Relationship developments are also providing your heart more clarity right now, and you are balancing your needs with the needs of your partnerships and creative ventures.
VIRGO
Your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde before the year ends, and this is helping you rebuild your foundations, Virgo. Mercury will be retrograde in an area of your life that has to do with your home, history, family, and emotional stability- and you are getting a new grasp on things here.
Where you have been planting your seeds and building for your future are coming up for review during this time, and you are gaining clarity on which of these foundations is stable enough to continue to build upon. You could be feeling less secure than you would like to right now, and this change of pace is helping you reassess your goals and figure out what is worth it for you and the legacy you want to live.
Coveteur
LIBRA
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and the focus turns towards your communication channels, Libra. Mercury retro is already a more chaotic time when it comes to communication, and with this retrograde also happening in your 3rd house of insight and communication, you may feel this heaviness a little more right now.
This transit, for you, is about taking your time getting your message across, being patient while traveling and running errands, and giving yourself space to gain some new clarity.
Meditation, journaling, and talking to someone who can support you are therapeutic, and know that your voice deserves to be heard. You are looking at ways you can take up more space and show up in the world without letting your insecurities keep you away from true connection, vulnerability, and understanding.
SCORPIO
This Mercury retrograde is happening in your 2nd house of income, values, assets, and self-confidence, and you are taking a step back to assess your current reality, especially financially, Scorpio. This is a good time to go over your spending habits and earnings, to find greater balance here, and to think about some of your financial goals moving forward.
Look at your resources, skills, and talents, and make sure what you are receiving is equal to or greater than what you have been giving. Less is more right now, and this isn’t the best time to overspend or overindulge, as you need more time to grasp your current stance on things, and how to increase your overall wealth and abundance.
SAGITTARIUS
With this Mercury retrograde happening in your sign, it’s hitting a little closer to home for you, Sagittarius. This is a good time to refine your goals and direction in life and how you want to show up right now. You deserve to be able to change your mind when you need to, and you are thinking about some of the things you have done and what you want to do moving forward.
Miscommunications are more likely while Mercury is in retrograde, but you can use this as a source of empowerment, knowing that you are living in your truth and allowing yourself room to grow in the process. Remember to be a little kinder to yourself during this transit and to give yourself the grace you need right now.
Coveteur
CAPRICORN
This Mercury retrograde for you, Capricorn, is about rest and taking care of your emotional world. You are being given the opportunity to spend more time alone, to gather your strength, and to heal before you enter the new year. A lot has happened, and there have been many changes in your world this year. This Mercury retrograde is here to help you find acceptance and closure.
You are in a preparation stage right now, and things can feel a little more lonesome in this energy, but with a different perspective, you can see just how much of this space your heart truly needs right now. The past is coming up for you to see things in a new light, and you are ready to gain some renewed insight, closure, and healing.
AQUARIUS
This Mercury retrograde highlights your friendships, community, and your hopes and dreams, Aquarius. You are being reminded of the importance of connection, but more significantly, of good connections. You are looking at who and what surrounds you right now and gaining clarity on whether this energy matches who you are and the things that you stand for.
Your social circle and the people around you are shifting as the power dynamics do, and you are finding your place and purpose amidst this change. It’s about identifying who and what makes you feel good and aligning things in your life to bring in more of that energy. Don’t be discouraged right now; find your people and ask for support.
PISCES
Your career and ambitions are the focus during this Mercury retrograde, Pisces. You have a lot to address here, and you are gathering your skills and talents and reminding yourself that you are worthy of your dreams. Miscommunications and setbacks are more likely within your professional world, but they are here to ask you if what you are striving for, is really what you need right now.
You are thinking a lot about how you show up in the world, what you want to be known for, and what successes you still want to obtain. This isn’t the time to let anyone’s idea or vision of you define who you are; rather, define that for yourself. Show up as you want to be seen, and don’t count yourself out right now, Pisces.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by We Are/Getty Images
The Holiday Bedroom Debate: Sleeping Together, Apart, Or Not At All?
I can’t speak for everyone, but my grandmother has strict rules around who can share a bed at her house. No one will ever be “shacking up” under her roof, so for me and her other grandchildren, that means leaving your boyfriend/girlfriend at home or footing the bill for a hotel during an already costly holiday season. Even for family members who have more liberal house rules, sharing a home with my parents will ensure a silent night for us all.
The holidays bring joy, connection, and quality time with loved ones—but they can also put a damper on intimacy for couples. It’s hard to get your jingle bells rocked when you have family sleeping under the same roof. Family visits and hosting obligations often disrupt intimacy, raising questions like: Should we have sex when relatives are in the next room? Should we follow traditional family rules about sleeping arrangements? How can we even find the time to have sex? And how do we balance respecting traditions with honoring our relationship?
Navigating these dynamics can be particularly challenging when we factor in cultural, familial, and sometimes religious expectations. Sharing space with family doesn’t have to send you into a dry spell. Here’s a guide to maintaining intimacy and harmony during holiday gatherings so that presents aren’t the only thing getting unwrapped this Christmas.
Grandma Says “No Shacking Up!” and Other Common Challenges
So we know that many families with conservative values may not want unmarried couples sleeping in bed together. They may not even like the idea of married couples having sex while family is visiting. Danielle Simpson-Baker, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, explains that “limited privacy, cultural or family-imposed rules, and differing expectations about behavior in shared spaces can lead to disconnection.”
Stress from hosting or visiting family, paired with packed schedules, can exacerbate these feelings and leave little time for you to connect with your loved one. Stress on its own is a known libido killer, but when paired with complicated family dynamics, you can be sure that sex will be a low priority. Who has time anyway? We’re hosting!
For unmarried couples, family norms often add an extra layer of complexity. Catherine Drysdale, a Sex and Relationship Coach, notes, “The holidays can disrupt intimacy in all the usual ways—shared bedrooms, squeaky beds, and not-so-subtle interruptions. Add in the pressure to appear as the perfect couple in front of relatives, and emotional and physical connection often takes a backseat.” Put all of this together, and you have the perfect recipe for low desire and anxiety around sex.
Couples may also be nervous that family will hear them if they decide to do more than just kiss under the mistletoe. The supposed embarrassment alone can keep lovers from even attempting to be intimate, even if they really want to.
How To Navigate? Communicate and Set Expectations
Communication is lubrication, so having an open dialogue with your partner before the holidays is essential.
Discuss potential discomforts and agree on boundaries. “Ask questions like: Are we okay abstaining from sex for a few days? How do we feel about sharing a bed if it’s against family rules?” advises Simpson-Baker. Being on the same page means you can present a united front to family when the time comes and avoid any conflict.
Drysdale suggests creating a “yes/no/maybe” list to clarify comfort levels. “The goal is to avoid surprises or misunderstandings once you’re there,” she explains. Setting an intention for the trip—whether it’s prioritizing family harmony or finding small moments to connect—can also help. No matter what people may think, sex is important! It’s okay to prioritize intimacy, even during the holidays.
Respect Family Rules While Honoring Your Relationship
While it is important to communicate with your partner before settling in with family, balancing their expectations with yours can be a delicate, but necessary, dance. Simpson-Baker emphasizes the importance of balance: “Minor compromises—like sleeping separately—don’t define the strength of your relationship. At the same time, if certain boundaries feel overly restrictive, couples can advocate for themselves respectfully.” This is where being a united front comes in. Getting clear on what feels acceptable to you and your partner ahead of time will help these tough conversations go a bit smoother.
It may also help to talk to your family before the holiday celebrations begin. Gwen Walsh, a Sex Educator and Consultant, shares a personal example: “I communicated with my mom why it was important to me to sleep in the same bed as my partner. I asked her to give me an opportunity to earn her trust. After a long conversation, she agreed to compromise.” While this approach isn’t guaranteed to work in every situation, it highlights the value of respectful communication.
Creative Ways To Maintain Intimacy While Visiting Family
When family doesn’t budge or if you just decide it is not that big of a deal, there are still ways to prioritize intimacy. If privacy for physical intimacy isn’t possible, focus on emotional and non-sexual forms of connection. Simpson-Baker suggests small gestures like “squeezing each other’s hand under the table or sharing a quiet conversation at night.” Small gestures still matter and can help couples maintain a sense of normalcy.
Sexologist Natassia Miller also highlights the importance of daily rituals. “Prioritize non-sexual touch. A long hug or a six-second kiss can maintain your connection and decrease stress levels,” she advises. These small daily rituals can also serve as a form of extended foreplay, setting you up for an explosive connection when the holidays are done.
The Bigger Picture
While holiday dynamics can feel overwhelming, it’s important to remember that these moments are temporary. Whether you’re sneaking in a private conversation during a walk or laughing together over a family tradition, small acts of connection can sustain your relationship through the chaos.
Ultimately, as Walsh puts it, “Your partnership exists in its own unique context. Lead with empathy, honesty, and respect, and you’ll find a way to navigate even the most challenging family dynamics.”
This holiday season, embrace the opportunity to grow together as a couple while navigating the complexities of family dynamics. With thoughtful communication, creativity, and a united front, you can honor your relationship and still enjoy the festive chaos of the holidays.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Jacob Wackerhausen/Getty Images