Bey stole my look!
Let me take that back right now before the hive comes a-swarming. No, Beyonce did not steal my look, but it just so happens that I was caught up in one of the most amazing "bish stole my look!" moments; one that I won't ever forget!
It was brought to my attention recently that Queen Bey and I have much more in common than keeping hot sauce in our bags, knowing that girls do in fact run the world and, yes, and realizing that the best revenge is in fact that paper! It seems Beyonce and I are sisters in fashion who love a dramatic-ass, extra-ass, sexy-ass freak 'em dress; so much so that we wore the exact same wedding gown...kind of!
Writer Ianthia Smith wearing her dream wedding dressNDO Films and Photography
After Beyonce released her Netflix special Homecoming, in which she blessed us with some never-before-seen photos of her family, including a less than two-second glimpse of the dress she wore during her June 2018 vow renewal to husband Jay-Z. It seemed like everyone was typing "Beyonce vow renewal dress" in their browsers and the photos went viral.
I'd not so long shared the story of my wedding day; inclusive of my dress woes (my designer dumped me six weeks before my big day!) on my own blog, so the photos of my wedding look was still fresh in people's minds. This explains why I woke up to literally hundreds of mentions and tags and retweets from friends and family and anyone who knew; everyone wanted to let me know that "Beyonce has on your wedding dress!"
Where It All Began
Dress shopping for my wedding was an insane experience. It came with all of the highs and lows you've seen in the movies. I'd been Googling and searching and looking for my dress, for what seems like months when one day, I came across the Galia Lahav "Thelma" gown and immediately fell in love!
The romantic Victorian-styled gown features billowing sleeves, a mermaid fit, off-the-shoulder deliciousness, a dramatic bustle and these elongated thigh cut-outs that added the "well damn" to the dress. The gown is a beauty and tells a story all its own. I screenshotted, downloaded, dreamed about and fawned over this dress for weeks! I needed to have it!
Well, just my luck, every bridal store I contacted looking to try on Thelma only had the dress during their trunk shows and my travel schedules never lined up for me to fit my dream gown. This is when I contacted a designer to make my very own custom version; but weeks before the big day, he bailed and was like, "Issa no for me. I'm out!" Sis, let me tell you; my wedding dress dreams came crashing down and I frantically searched for a dress; any dress. I was so bummed out, I was willing to get any dress that was available and within budget. But Thelma haunted me. I needed her.
Bey Stole My Look
Beyonce wearing Gaila Lahav during her vow renewal in 'Homecoming'
During one of my wee-hours-of-the-morning Internet searches, my blurry eyes came across a very blurred photo of Thelma. It was a photo of Beyonce; wearing the dress.
The photo was shared during a montage during her On The Run Tour II concert. The photo I saw only showed her from mid-chest up, giving just a peek at the dress. To some, she was just wearing a white dress; to me...she was wearing my dress! I'd soaked this gown so deeply into my memory that I could spot it a mile away.
Honestly, I wanted to cry! It was now four weeks before my wedding and just like many other brides, I wanted that element of surprise. I didn't want to see my wedding dress plastered all over the Internet before I actually got a chance to wear it; especially not by Beyonce! I mean come on, who wants to get on stage after Beyonce performs?
Was she going to share more photos? Was she going to post a full shot of the dress? Was she going to steal my thunder? Call me crazy, but these were my exact thoughts. I called my sister in a frenzy and screamed, "Beyonce has on my dress!" We were both fearful that the woman who has the ability to command the world's attention would quadruple my dress stress with just one little post on Instagram.
Since we weren't so sure what Beyonce would do, we figured if she did share the photos, we had two options: be sad over something we couldn't control anyway or turn this experience into one hell of a "I got married in Beyonce's wedding dress" story.
And here we are!
The Ultimate Happy Ending
Writer Ianthia Smith in her wedding dress
I eventually found another dress designer who finally brought my dreams to life. In between stalking Bey's Instagram to see if she'd posted any of the pics (thankfully she didn't); we fitted, cut, sewed and embellished my own customized gown to the gawds! I had a mini heart attack with each button being placed, every piece of lace being laid and with every fitting.
On August 18, 2018, after one hell of a rollercoaster ride, I finally walked down the aisle in the perfect wedding dress, handmade for me.
Almost nine months later when my phone was blowing up with the "Beyonce stole your look" messages, I was smiling on the inside knowing that I'd figured this out long ago.
It weirdly and funnily felt like a little secret Bey and I were keeping. She waited on me, in my head; only sharing those photos of our dress months after I got married.
I gushed at how beautiful she looked in her dress, wondering if we shared the same overwhelming feeling of saying yes to the dress, as she fit. Of course, I don't have a Beyonce-sized budget; if I did, I would've flown that elusive gown directly to me.
But I'm so happy I was able to wrangle a team of amazing people who were able to customize, recreate and deliver the dress of my dreams, despite it all.
Whew, chile, a blessing.
In the past, I've been made to question the Queen's timing; you know how she does it with her in the middle of the night releases, having us waiting up 'till 3:00 a.m. while I'm falling asleep on my laptop. Girl, after this experience I shall never question this diva's timeline ever again. This time it worked in my favor. Bow down!
Credits:
Photos: NDO Films and Photography
Dress Designer: Apryl Jasmine
Makeup Artist: Regina McCook
Hair Stylist: Salon Sade International
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Sooo...Do You Want A Marriage? Or Just A Wedding?
Everything We Learned From Beyonce's 'Homecoming'
5 Steps To A Frugal Wedding On A Budget
Two Years After Their Break Up, This Couple Said 'I Do'
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RELATED
The couple met years ago at their alma mater, Clark Atlanta University, when they were still working to create the life they have now, and if you had told them then that they’d eventually tie the knot, the pair probably would’ve laughed in your face.
Today, they’re new parents, flourishing in their careers, and each others’ “teammates.” When desiring love, Dalen recommends not looking to other couples for advice. And Stacey advises staying true to what you want. “Don’t put age or limitations on love and children. If God could do it for me, why can’t he do it for you?”
Here's How We Met.
How did you meet?
Dalen: We met in 2005 when she was advising the Greek sororities and fraternities in college. She was old as hell in college, and I was a young buck (laughs). Everybody had a crush on her, but I didn’t think much of it. Then, in 2007, we were in the same grad school class, but she still wasn’t trying to see me then either. I had to catch her five years ago; I was very patient.
Stacey: Yeah, everybody in our grad school class called him Young, Fresh to Death because he was always dressed in B-school (what CAU affectionately refers to as business major classes), and we’d just wear sweatpants (laughs).
So, I know Dalen was always attracted to you. But what about you? Did your attraction to him develop over time?
Stacey: So 2006-2008 – all the years went by. I don’t think we were really thinking about each other at all back then. Years later, I had an event in Dallas, and I booked him to be a speaker. Then, a few years ago, Dalen posted a photo of him on Instagram, and I slid in his DMs. I remembered him being so young and handsome, and I’m like, I should hook him up with my younger cousin. His response was: "If you’re not hooking me up with you, no thank you." But I still thought he was too young at the time, and he started pulling receipts. Taraji P. Henson was dating someone young at the time, Gabrielle Union–
Dalen: First of all, I didn’t do that. You did that.
Stacey: Okay, I did. I thought he was a cutie pie, but that age thing was on my mind!
"Dalen posted a photo of him on Instagram, and I slid in his DMs. I remembered him being so young and handsome, and I’m like, I should hook him up with my younger cousin. His response was: 'If you’re not hooking me up with you, no thank you.'"
Courtesy
Talk to me about the first date. How did he change your mind?
Stacey: Our first date was at Tin Lizzy's in Atlanta. During that time, he was living in Dallas, so it was long-distance. But he came into town, and we just had a good time. We talked a lot, which we still do. It wasn’t anything fantastic.
Dalen: Don’t downplay our first date.
Then, walk me through your courtship. How did you get to the next level? What was that conversation like?
Stacey: I think he knew at age 43 or 44 I wasn’t playing around. But also, I think it just naturally progressed.
Dalen: Yeah, it just happened naturally. And I’m going to be honest, I don’t think initially either one of us thought it would be as serious as it was. She thought I was too young and I wasn’t ready for marriage, kids, and all that. I think we both thought we were just hanging out. But after spending so much time together, a lot of stuff started happening. Like, she had to have surgery early on. It wasn’t just time together; it was intimate time. Next thing we know, we just never left each other. That’s why we still don’t have an anniversary date because we never really asked.
"It wasn't just time together; it was intimate time. Next thing we know, we just never left each other. That's why we still don't have an anniversary date because we never really asked."
What made you want to commit to each other?
Dalen: The moment I knew Stacey was for me was from a phone call. I don’t really like talking on the phone, and I can be really blunt sometimes. But we were talking, and I said, ‘I don’t really feel like talking anymore.’ And she was just like, okay, and hung up. I wasn’t trying to be rude, and she understood that. It sounds bad, but that’s how I knew she just got me. I felt like she could get my random awkward moments, and she does to this day.
Stacey: For me, I liked him as a person. Even when times get rough and tough, I could still like him as a human. He is my best friend. We have time. We laugh until we cry, and it’s just always like that. Even when we get pissed at each other, something happens, and we fix it. Also, how he treats his mother. That’s a momma’s boy, but I’m a daddy’s girl – so I get it. I know how I want to be treated, and I see how he is with her and that’s beautiful.
What are some important lessons you’ve learned about yourself through loving your partner in this relationship?
Dalen: I grew up an only child and she grew up with siblings. So, when you have someone who is used to doing things by themselves, there is definitely a learning curve when you get into a serious relationship. It’s funny now, but it was definitely a process.
Stacey: I agree – definitely the only child thing. There’s times I look at him like, did you ever live with anyone else? That comes from being momma's baby, too. I have to say, my “mother-in-love” spoiled him. But also with Axel (their daughter), that brings another level of patience.
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images
What was the biggest challenge that you had to overcome together?
Dalen: We’ve gone through a lot within the years we’ve been together. We suffered two miscarriages – I’d say that’s the biggest.
Stacey: Having those miscarriages and trying to understand what’s next and what our options are was a lot. I had two myomectomies (fibroid surgeries), and he supported me through that time. Also, still, it was on my mind that he’s eight years younger than me. I was wondering if I can’t carry [a child] what that looks like for us. We had very real conversations pretty early in our relationship.
"Having those miscarriages and trying to understand what’s next and what our options are was a lot. I had two myomectomies (fibroid surgeries), and he supported me through that time. Also, still, it was on my mind that he’s eight years younger than me."
What do you fight the most about?
Dalen: Nagging. Stacey nags; she’s a complainer. She’s that momma that will look in a room and just hunt for something to complain about. Like, I’m worried for Axel when she's in high school.
Stacey: It’s because I like things to be in place. He leaves stuff all over the place. I can tell where he’s been in the house because something is left around. So he says I’m nagging – but it’s like, just get your stuff.
What are your love languages?
Dalen: Stacey is gifts all day.
Stacey: *thinks*
Dalen: We’ve talked about this. xoNecole is about to cause problems in our home (laughs).
Stacey: Obviously I love you. *thinks again* It’s words of affirmation.
Dalen: That’s it.
What’s your favorite thing about each other?
Dalen: I’ve always respected her business-mindedness. That may sound superficial, but it’s not because I’ve never been with someone who thinks like me. It’s one of my most treasured things about her. I remember one day, I was just running through ideas with her, and each time Stacey had a suggestion on how I could make it better. It’s just very comforting. She takes whatever I’m doing and elevates it – including me.
Stacey: I love Dalen’s hustle and creativity. He’s been on multiple shows, and he continues to create, produce, and reinvent himself and the product he’s putting out. I love that we can create together and bounce things off each other. Even though we may be in different arenas, there’s nothing he can’t offer me great advice about. I love that drive.
Finally, how did you know it was love?
Dalen: Well – she said it – first. (laughs)
Stacey: And he looked at me and smiled! He didn’t say it back. We were on a trip, out of the country.
Dalen: We were arguing when she said it, and she just threw it out.
Stacey: But we continue to do that. We’ve spent holidays and everything outside of the country.
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