Porn was my first taste of what the male g spot was all about.
It's like the one we have, but in men, it's located in their prostate. My interest in the male g spot came about one day when the porn I was watching got a little stale for me. I was becoming increasingly interested in the world of domination and submission and somewhere in my search results, I came across femdom.
Men would relinquish their bodies to the surrender of dominating women. They'd whip them, spank them, perform cuckhold, make them bury their faces in various places, and for some, it meant pegging. It was my first time being exposed to heterosexual men enjoying anal and being the one receiving it. Legs were up, on their backs, sometimes bent over – they were absolutely loving it, and I was intrigued by it, and oddly turned on.
I visited the intersection of that sexual interest with my at the time boyfriend, Bryson, shortly thereafter. He was my first in a lot of ways, and was definitely the first there. What surprised me was the stigma that is inherently attached to that part of the male anatomy, especially in the black community, didn't seem to apply to him personally. For men, their penis is the ultimate pinnacle of their masculinity – suck it, blow it, ride it, mold it, make it yours.
On the flipside, for a lot of men, their sexuality feels tested when the topic of anal or their ass comes into play. I, myself, used to operate underneath that societal lens that held sexuality this black and white thing, unable to see the shades of gray in between the extremes. The fact that he owned his desires made me feel confident with owning and claiming mine. He was up for trying anything once, and we found mutual interests in the same aspects of those encounters playing out in front of us.
I really liked that for a brief moment, Kanye West identified as a man fond of that persuasion. Not because he's Kanye, but because I like when people within my community are honest about what they like. So often we're not. Black women have things they enjoy that they will never admit aloud, but so do black men.
He would later vehemently deny it, which I get, but still, the mark was made. Amber Rose put it out there that sometimes men enjoy being fingered and that women are not the only ones on the receiving end when it comes to anal play in heterosexual relationships. A week later, R&B singer Tank talked to The Breakfast Club of his love of indulging in anal play in the bedroom after a 26-year-old lover put him onto the sex act at the age of 18. He has a boundary of no fingers, but he welcomes a woman's tongue and mouth. In regards to anal play, he says:
"I was a young man with an older woman, and she put me on to things. I still remember the first time... It felt compromising at first. But then I let go. It was tickling at first...but in about 10 minutes I was like 'get in there.' I was spreading the cheeks."
The external, obvious, dick way of getting a man to come is tried and true, but the secret to increasing the intensity of your man's orgasm is all inside of the body. I had no idea how deeply that reality was until I made him do it while my fingers were inside of him. I can only imagine how it feels based on my own experiences with vaginal orgasms during anal. It's this tantalizing mixture of pain and pleasure that gives lovemaking this intense, rigorous edge. I imagine prostate stimulation for men to be either a fraction of that or a heightened version of that. To hear his crescendo of pleasure as I wrapped my lips in a swivel up and down motion on his erection, as my lubed finger went in and out, in and out, in and out, was a powerful, thrilling feeling for me.
I always feel that power when I'm able to bring a man to his knees, even while he's lying down.
When I curled my finger inside of him as a “come hither," he almost lost it completely.
In the sexual encounters I have had since then, men are not too interested in exploring that side of themselves or their sexuality. They feel a lot like I did once: that you can't be straight if you allow your woman to touch you that way, thinking nothing of the fact that what happens between a man and woman does not alter your sexual preference or orientation. I make love in a sex life now where a light spank on the butt is considered “too close for comfort." It depends on your desires as individuals and your interests sexually as a couple, and while I don't believe I'll become quite as acquainted with the male g spot as I once was before, I still have my memories. At least there's that.
If nothing else, it was my first taste in what domination feels like. And I think I like that…
Have you ever encountered the male g spot? If you ever did, what would you do?