Uche & Clinton Met On A Reality Dating Show, Now They're Engaged
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
What happens when you put 22 gorgeous single men and women on a beautiful island with no phones and lots of smoking hot sex appeal? For fitness influencer Clinton Moxam and Wilhelmina model Uche Nwosu, it resulted in a nearly three-year relationship and a fur baby named Rue. The post-MTV's Are You the One?season six power couple still flourished in their love and addiction for one another despite their confirmed "no match" midway through the season. Now, we can all watch their YouTube videos together in jubilee and root for them as they post cute #RelationshipGoals photos that bless our Explore pages.
Though Uche is originally from East Grand Rapids, Michigan and Clinton is originally from Palm Bay, Florida, the two lovebirds have made Hollywood their home. Unfortunately, this wasn't always the case and the two had to adjust to living apart for nearly half a year. "We had to do long-distance for about five months last year and we definitely had to work on our communication––but we made it through and came out on the other side stronger," said the certified personal fitness trainer. With growth comes growing pains, but even with their fights and disagreements, Clinton and Uche still managed to come out swinging. Three years to the date they met, Clinton popped the question and made his three-year girlfriend his fiancee and life partner.
"We have different communication styles which was something that we have had to work on throughout our relationship," says the lifestyle influencer. "Also - what to watch on TV. Clinton always caves though, we're finishing up Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 10." Clinton chimes in that their disagreements are typically caused by miscommunication regarding things that are happening in their individual lives and not communicating it to one another effectively. "This can lead to one of us being offended about how the other is seeming to act, not realizing that the issue isn't even really between the two of us," adds Clinton.
In this installment of How We Met, we caught up with the reality television alumni and newly engaged couple about meeting on MTV, the importance of effective communication to avoid arguments, and their appreciation for each other's sense of humor.
*This interview was conducted prior to Clinton's proposal or knowledge of the proposal.
How They Met:
Uche: I got a scouting call right after New Years' 2017 for an MTV show. I had just moved from Chicago to Los Angeles at the time where I was interning for a stylist and I didn't think much of it. I went through the first round of interviews and before I knew it, it was the middle of May and I was being flown into Los Angeles for final casting. Long story short, I ended up going on a reality show in New Orleans purely for the experience. We were both going through different situations at the time and neither of us were looking for love on the show whatsoever. I always laughed when the whole premise of the show was centered around "winning love and money" when that's exactly what ended up happening for me.
Clinton: I moved to NY right after graduating college in August 2016. From there, I was doing a bit of modeling and trying to grow my social media platforms. I was contacted by MTV about a show they were casting called Are You the One?. I went through the whole casting process and was picked to be on the show. I met Uche on a big green stage with 20 other people as we started filming for the show.
Instant Attraction:
Uche: The day we met was also the day we met the rest of the cast (22 of us). That day is still a huge blur to me! The cameras, the mics, the house, everything was so new. I remember I didn't even end up talking to Clinton until the very end of the night. We ended up sitting by the pool and talking for a few hours. Like I said, my intention coming on this show was just to have an experience and possibly win money––I had gone through a lot of not great situations prior, and at the moment I wasn't looking to get into a relationship. I remember on day four (mind you, these TV days are unlike real days! Whereas when you meet someone in the "real world" you spend maybe a few hours a day with them––we were spending 24 hours, all day, every day with each other––with no phones or contact with the outside world. Every three days marks a "TV week"), talking to my friend Nicole and telling her that I really think I was starting to like Clinton, but I wasn't sure what to do about it. I was definitely being cautious, I didn't know what was going to come from it and didn't want to start getting attached! All I know is we just gravitate towards each other, always.
Clinton: Similar to Uche, I was in a prior situation before going on to the show. It was a situation where myself and the person involved were not 100% sure what direction we were going. When the show started, I wasn't actually interested in getting to know anyone. I was hoping it would possibly create other opportunities for me and I would win the money in the end. The entire first day was hectic. I didn't have a conversation with Uche until later that night as we were both trying to have different conversations with different people, not exactly thinking that any of the conversations would lead anywhere, but that's just what we were there to do. From my initial conversation with her, I knew she would be the only person I could even hold a conversation with. She was so effortlessly funny and charismatic, but I don't think either of us thought much of it. It wasn't until day three or four that I was just watching her as she walked through the house and I got this feeling inside of me like a little light bulb turned on and I said to myself, '"Hold up! you really like her." From that moment on, she hasn't gotten rid of me!
Courtesy of Uche & Clinton
"From my initial conversation with her, I knew she would be the only person I could even hold a conversation with. She was so effortlessly funny and charismatic, but I don't think either of us thought much of it. It wasn't until day three or four that I was just watching her as she walked through the house and I got this feeling inside of me like a little light bulb turned on and I said to myself, 'Hold up! you really like her.' From that moment on, she hasn't gotten rid of me!"
First Date:
Clinton: Our technical first date was on the show. The whole house wanted us to win a date so we could go into the "truth booth" to see if we were a match (spoiler alert: we were not). We finally won a date on week five. We went on a ferry in New Orleans, had a caricature artist draw us, and it was really fun. Later that night, we had to go into the truth booth and find out we weren't a match so the day… didn't end quite well. Our first date outside of 'the house' was mini-golfing and a movie! It's like we were waiting to see if the spark we had on the show would still be there in the outside world and it without a doubt was.
Making It Official:
Uche: Well, before the show I was kind of in flux as to where I wanted to be and what exactly I wanted to do. It just so happened that earlier that year, my mom took a job at a hospital in Florida where she would work two weeks out of the month in Urgent Care. The show stopped filming at the end of July and I decided to go see my mom before making my next steps. It just so happened that out of all the places in Florida she could have relocated to, it was exactly 49 minutes away from where Clinton's mom lived.
Clinton: Before the show started, I decided it was time for me to move back home to Florida, so I packed my car and planned to drive down to Florida after the show finished. It just so happened that we ended up being there at the same time which allowed us to spend a lot of time together. I would go to her mom's place Thursday through Sunday every week and we would just hang out and spend time together. We went on dates and we went out, but the majority of our time was just spent getting to know one another and laughing. We did this for about 5-6 months and in November of 2017 while filming the "Reunion" episode of the show that we were on, I officially asked Uche to be my girlfriend.
Uche: I honestly wasn't trying to get humiliated on national TV so I was leaving it all up to him to take the next step. I don't know, it was like I was looking for some big red flag. Everything just seemed too good to be true––I've never met anyone like him.
Clinton: Uche never pushed me to make it official. Even though we were very exclusive and open with one another, we were taking our time trying to really get an understanding of one another. We learned so much about each other and developed such a strong foundation of love in this time that the night I asked her to be my girlfriend. I also told her I loved her because I knew what we had was going to last.
Courtesy of Uche & Clinton
"Uche never pushed me to make it official. Even though we were very exclusive and open with one another, we were taking our time trying to really get an understanding of one another. We learned so much about each other and developed such a strong foundation of love in this time that the night I asked her to be my girlfriend. I also told her I loved her because I knew what we had was going to last."
The Sweetest Thing:
Uche: His sense of humor and his heart! No one loves me better or makes me laugh harder. We will literally spend the whole day making each other laugh. I don't know if anyone else thinks we're funny? But, I don't know… Saturday Night Live should probably give us a call.
Clinton: Definitely her sense of humor and her smile. From the moment we met, we've naturally bounced off of one another and our relationship is filled with jokes and laughter. I say her smile because I think it's the cutest thing in the world. I love seeing her smile because it's the physical representation of how she is actually feeling. Seeing my woman happy makes me happy, and that's why I love that smile.
The One:
Uche: It definitely happened over time. When he first told me, the night of the show reunion––I was surprised he said it, but I felt the exact same. I had thought I had been in love before, but I realize now that's not what that was. I kept saying I felt "different", that I had a "different feeling". I still don't even know how to describe it but he really is my other half. It just feels right and I feel the most me when I'm with him. I HATE to be cheesy, I'm so sorry, but honestly––every single day I am reminded that it really is love.
Clinton: I knew it was love because of how Uche and I were with one another. I had experienced love, commitment, and the challenges that come along with it. I saw it in both of us that we had the capacity and the willingness to be selfless, understanding, genuine and truthful with one another because Uche showed me all of those characteristics from the time we met. Love is a feeling but it also takes a lot of work and we were both ready for that.
Courtesy of Uche & Clinton
"I had experienced love, commitment, and the challenges that come along with it. I saw it in both of us that we had the capacity and the willingness to be selfless, understanding, genuine and truthful with one another because Uche showed me all of those characteristics from the time we met. Love is a feeling but it also takes a lot of work and we were both ready for that."
Baggage Claim
Uche: I had to learn that every argument doesn't mean it's the end all be all. It sounds so silly now, but I was so used to being in tumultuous relationships where I always had to have my guard up and be ready for the next curveball. This relationship has matured me so much and I am so happy we met in the time we did, Lord knows I had to go through the things that I did to fully appreciate and recognize a blessing when it's presented to me. We've also had to work on our communication. I've always thought that being outgoing meant that I was a good communicator––so wrong. I've had to be honest with myself and realize that I actually kind of suck at communicating when it comes to talking about the not fun and uncomfortable elements of life. We've really grown!
Clinton: We had to learn how to talk to one another about our past and the things we struggle with as individuals. We navigated those conversations by proving to one another over time that we can be trusted with knowing the hard things that neither of us wants to tell people we cannot 100% trust. As time passed and we continued to prove ourselves to one another, we opened up more and became even closer. I also had to unlearn the kind of "tit for tat" mindset. We're one, we're in this relationship together and we both bring different things to the table that are valuable in different ways.
Talk To Me Nice
Uche: I would say that my love languages on the giving end are: gift-giving and words of affirmation. On the receiving end, it would be acts of service and gift-giving, but by gift I mean ANYTHING. If someone ever gives me anything that lets me know they're thinking of me, honestly anything, it means a lot to me I don't know why. Oh, especially cards! I keep all of my cards. If you've ever written me a card, literally ever, I guarantee you I still have it!
Clinton: My love language is words of affirmation. I'm pretty simple––I don't need much but I do need my woman to tell me that she's proud of me and that she sees me. I'll do anything for her and I just want to know that she appreciates me.
Courtesy of Uche & Clinton
"I had to learn that every argument doesn't mean it's the end all be all. It sounds so silly now, but I was so used to being in tumultuous relationships where I always had to have my guard up and be ready for the next curveball. This relationship has matured me so much and I am so happy we met in the time we did, Lord knows I had to go through the things that I did to fully appreciate and recognize a blessing when it's presented to me."
Loving Yourself:
Uche: I've been through my fair share of frogs. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I've definitely had to grow up a lot and learn from past relationships. But never have I ever been fully appreciated and encouraged to be who I am, SO authentically. I've always been a confident person but going on such a widely publicized show opens you up to so much scrutiny. There was so much positivity and love coming my way but you are always going to have your online trolls and negative people that want to bring you down.
It's so easy to focus on the negative and I did fall into that trap many times, especially right after the show when things were still fresh. Clinton has never left my side and has always lifted me up, had my back, and encourages me ALWAYS to be exactly the person I am. Never too much!
Loving Your Partner:
Clinton: I've learned that love requires a lot of patience. We met at 21 and 23 years old, I don't think people understand how much there is to figure out individually and together at this point in life. I definitely didn't realize that, now that we've known each other for three years and we've gone through different things together, I'm seeing how important patience is.
I'm becoming my own person, she's becoming her own person and we are also coming together as one. Growing up, we are conditioned to think that you are supposed to find this perfect person and then they complete you, which isn't true at all. What really happens is you find an amazing person and you guys love and commit to one another and then there's a lot of work to be done. It's all worth it because the love and relationship you build is unbreakable!
For more Uche & Clinton, follow them on Instagram!
Featured image courtesy of Uche and Clinton.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
How This Creative's Hair Journey Evolved Into A Journey Of Her Return To Self
When it comes to how she wears her natural hair, content creator Ragin "Ray" Al-Nahdy has always seen hairstyles as more than an accentuation of her crown. Ragin has been natural her whole life and has always seen her tresses, no matter their state, as a representation of where she is in her journey of self-discovery and self-exploration. Similar to her journey from childhood to adulthood, her hair would take the shape and form of styling choices that would, in turn, act as the quintessential extension of whatever season of her life she was in at that time, a snapshot, if you will.
"Wearing my natural hair in its many forms, whether that be loose natural or loc’d, has been a big thing for me when it comes to self-expression, self-exploration, and connecting with other people who share similar experiences," Ragin tells xoNecole. "Even in moments where we laugh and joke about the 'struggles' of maintaining natural hair comes with a sense of belonging that I am so proud to be able to relate to."
Courtesy
Though Ragin has worn her hair in a plethora of ways and was known to switch it up a lot during her 28 years earth side, wearing her hair in locs would prove to be the longest and the most significant time in her journey of becoming. "I think it was necessary because I really needed to have something to help me make sense of what was going on inside of me and ground me in my new reality," she mentions of that time. Ragin was 24 when she started her loc journey, and unfortunately, early on in that journey, her mother passed away.
The way she wore her hair for that season of her life started as a grounding tool for her amid her grief but would eventually evolve into so much more. "I got so many things from the experience I had with grieving my mom, but one of the most special parting gifts that she gave me was a roadmap that helped me 'return to self,'" Ragin explains. "What initially started out as me grounding myself in the connection I started with my mom eventually ended up coming full circle and reminding me that none of the things I was looking for, whether it be the confidence I thought I lost, my connection with my mom or my strength that I felt desperate to hold on to, existed outside of me."
"The locs became a huge metaphor for my life, and through embracing the physical aspects of the journey and learning how to accept and love each phase without the suffering that comes from yearning for past versions of myself, I was able to accept all of the other stuff that was happening in my life that were outside of my control and choose to trust the process and love those things too," she adds.
The 28-year-old version of Ragin had come so far in her life from the time she loc'd her hair at 24. She was older, wiser, and more rooted in herself. Late last year, she gave herself permission to exhale, move beyond the season of her life she had been cocooning within, and embrace transformation. She no longer needed them. Being in her fourth year of grief and more firmly rooted in herself as a woman, Ragin knew it was time to release.
Armed with her metal rat tail comb, Ragin would gently and methodically comb out each of her 117 locs over a number of days. "The theme that whole year was very much about shedding my attachments to things I was feeling unnecessarily dependent on and old energy that didn't feel relevant to my current experience or the one I was trying to create," she says. "I felt a really strong desire to release and make room for my new experiences so that I can be fully present and have clarity."
From the coils and curls of her fro to the twists and turns of life, Ragin's hairstyles have all been outward explorations and expressions of her internal reality, with each style bookmarking a moment in her life journey through the years. As she prepares to enter the next chapter as a mother, Ragin takes us through the different seasons of her life and how the way she wore her hair defined where she was in her journey overall.
Childhood Years
Courtesy
"When I was a little girl, my mom always loved to do cute styles in my older sister and my hair. She was always coming up with something different and accessorizing with fun barrettes that matched our outfits and sometimes even elaborate braid designs. Most of the time, we even had input on what styles we would get for the day or the week, and I recall those times, as early as three years old, as being some of my earliest memories of self-expression and choice when it comes to how I was perceived by the world. We would always get compliments on how nice we looked, which made me feel so beautiful."
My earliest memory associated with my hair is one of the hundreds of times I used to sit in between my mother’s legs and pick through our huge selection of colorful clips and barrettes as she brushed my hair with gel and conditioner that smelled like candy. The smell of that conditioner was so good I can literally smell it now as I’m talking about it. It has definitely become a core memory for me."
Young Adulthood Years
Courtesy
"[This] picture was taken in 2015 when I was about 20 years old, right after I grew my hair back out from the experimental phase I went through as a teenager. During that phase, I was honestly just happy that my hair grew back after all of the back-to-back coloring and constant straightening I was doing.
"I don’t even have photos of some of the styles I had during that time because of how often I used to switch it up, but I had red, midnight blue, shades of blonde, and even an accidental green. It was a wild time, but I definitely used it to express myself creatively, which was a lot of fun."
Independence
Courtesy
"The blonde hair has always been one of my favorite looks. There’s an actress named Reagan Preston Gomez that had brown skin and honey-blonde hair, and I vividly remember seeing her on TV and thinking she was one of the prettiest girls in the world, which was so cool to me because we also share a similar name. I always dreamed of pulling off that look and hoped that it would make me feel about myself the way I viewed her.
"The first time I tried the blonde, I was 18, but in this particular photo, I was 24, and in such a beautiful season of my life where I was out of college with my first big girl job finally feeling like an adult. If I had to name that season of life, I would call it my 'Independence Era.' I was literally living the life that I always imagined I would be living as an adult, even down to the way that I always envisioned myself looking, and it made me feel extremely confident."
Restructuring
Courtesy
"During my early teenage years is when I really started leaning into my own Afrocentricity because of different books and media that my older brother was sharing with me. I also hold very tight to my Jamaican ancestry and identity which made me interested in embracing the style and journey. Despite being able to choose my own styles as a small child, my mom is actually the one who told me to hold off on getting locs because she felt like I would not stick with it because of how adventurous I was with my look and my hair.
"In retrospect, I honestly can’t say that she was wrong, given the fact that shortly after that, I did everything you could imagine to my hair. By 2019, my mom decided to go on a loc journey, so I decided to join her, and that is how I ended up with locs for over four years."
Courtesy
"I was 24 when I started my locs, and at the time, I had no idea how much that season would change my life. I initially started my locs with my mom, but she passed away two months to the day after we decided to go on the journey together, which not only left me feeling heartbroken, but I also felt like I completely lost my entire sense of self. I would call that season 'the restructuring' because I literally felt like I had to become a whole new version of myself in order to survive what I was going through.
"I love that my mom always made me feel beautiful and confident in myself by connecting with me through my hair journey, but once she was gone physically, I really struggled to feel confident without her being there to hold my hand and remind me of who I was."
"I love that my mom always made me feel beautiful and confident in myself by connecting with me through my hair journey, but once she was gone physically, I really struggled to feel confident without her being there to hold my hand and remind me of who I was. Since it was the last hair experience that we shared together, I grounded myself in my loc journey and used it to help me rebuild my confidence."
Remembering
Courtesy
"[This] photo will always be very special to me because it represents my first attempt at doing a full cornrow and braid style on myself, which is something I was never able to do growing up despite my countless efforts. It’s like I had a mental block or something preventing me from actually picking it up. I honestly thought that after my loc journey, I would invite my social media community to join me on a 'learning to braid journey' but then I picked it up within five minutes and did this style on myself almost immediately after combing out my locs.
"It was really special to me because learning to braid so easily felt like another parting gift from my mom, and it also made me feel really close to the Ancestors. Now I’m just wondering what other gifts have been passed down to me that I am still unaware of. I can’t wait to discover them and pass them around to others in this season of life that feels like 'remembering.' It’s really reminding me that who I am is who I have always been and that all of my forms exist here and now without me even having to try to hold on to any particular aspects of myself."
Rebirth
Courtesy
"Combing out my locs made me nervous at first because I was so comfortable with them, but once I realized what a long process it was going to be, I kinda switched into overdrive and just powered through it. It was a really beautiful process because my sister came from out of town to help me, and my husband helped me a lot, and those two were honestly the MVPs when it came to helping me survive my larger journey with grief, too. It all felt really full circle, and it felt really nice to be supported in that way.
"I got emotional throughout the process, but it wasn’t until I got down to the last few locs that everything really came flooding out. I could just feel a huge weight lifted off of me and things were happening around me that I have always viewed as signs of my mom’s presence. Now, as a 28-year-old woman who is in an entirely different phase of my life than I was when I started my loc journey, I feel strong and capable of everything that the future has to offer me. This season of my life would be called 'rebirth' and I am excited to have my antennas out in the world."
Freedom
Courtesy
"This photo is actually one of my most recent ones taken after my first curly haircut. I was always the type to just trim off my ends as best as I could at home, but without the understanding of my hair density, texture, and how to shape my hair correctly, I pretty much always ended up with bad haircuts that didn’t compliment me well. Getting my hair professionally cut was a game changer because it allowed me to see the beauty that exists in wearing my natural hair out in a fro. It definitely boosted my confidence.
"This phase of life feels like 'freedom' which is so full circle because it carries a lot of the same feelings and emotions that I experienced as a little girl being able to pick what style and color barrettes I would have in my hair on any given day."
Motherhood
"I was actually pregnant when I combed my locs out but I didn’t tell anyone outside of my immediate family and close friends. I look at my loc journey as my interaction with motherhood from a child’s perspective, and this new journey as me experiencing motherhood from a mother’s perspective. I think that the physical change of identity is definitely helping me move into this next phase as the version of myself that feels empowered and confident rather than the version who was battling with grief and sometimes unsure about herself. While I make sure to hold space for and love on that old version of myself often, I no longer have the desire to relate to her so intimately."
"While I make sure to hold space for and love on that old version of myself often, I no longer have the desire to relate to her so intimately."
"The message I want to pass down to my children and really anyone who will listen is that life is full of tools and opportunities that can assist us in experiencing our lives with ease and joy. Hair and anything else, for that matter, can be used as a way to help us understand our experiences, transform how we view ourselves, and help us form meaningful connections with others that last a lifetime. I also want to teach them the importance of listening to their own guidance and to never forsake their authenticity for acceptance from others.
"I would always talk to my mom about using that sacred time of hairstyling to connect with my children just like she did with me and generations of people have done before us. I look forward to those times and I can’t wait to pass down the stories and lessons I learned while sitting in between my mother’s legs and picking out barrettes."
For more of Ray and her next chapter, keep up with her on Instagram @westindieray.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtesy