How To Take Things Slow With A Guy In Dating
You met a guy. You like him. He appears to like you too. You guys are casually dating and it's a vibe. You've been down this road and it hasn't worked out in the past but this time feels different. He seems different. You're ready to throw caution to the wind and fast track this whole situation. Be honest with yourself though, has attempting to fast track the relationship worked in your favor in the past? If not, it may be time to try a different approach and take things slow with the guy you're dating.
There are multiple benefits to taking things at a slower pace in the beginning of a relationship. For starters, it allows you to see if you genuinely like this person or if it's just exciting because it's new. It also allows you to see beneath the surface and see who you're really dating and what their true motives are. Most importantly, it gives you time to catch all of the red flags and also allows time to build a genuine friendship. So, how do you take things slow when dating someone you like? Let's get into it.
How To Take Things Slow With A Guy
1.Date Other People
Shutterstock
I know you really like him but listen, until you and that man choose to be exclusive, you are a free agent sis! A lot of the time pacing in the beginning of a relationship can be compromised because you put all of your energy into acting like a girlfriend before the commitment, which is counterproductive if you ask me. Dating other people will not only force you to take things slowly, but it will also help you discover what (and who) you really like while you date.
2.Space It Out
Shutterstock
I know you want to see him every single day but if you want to keep things at a nice slow pace, resist the urge and space out the time you spend together. Besides, you won't have time anyway because you're going to be dating other people, remember? Even if you decide not to go the date other people route, you can use the time spent apart to pour into your life, your friends, and your passions. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and it also allows you to become a fuller, more vibrant you when you do see each other.
3.Do Different Things
Shutterstock
To avoid falling into a comfortable and familiar routine in the beginning stages of dating, avoid doing the same things. Yes, I know you like that Mexican restaurant he took you to on your first date but getting into a routine screams coupledom, and well before the commitment, sis. Go to different places and try different activities. It will help you get to know each other better but at a slow and steady pace.
4.No Sex
Shutterstock
Well, at least not in the beginning. Having sex too soon is the ultimate way to move way too fast. It can also be the ultimate way to put a stop to things as well. When we have sex, the body releases hormones that makes you feel bonded to the person you're sleeping with. Even if they aren't good for you, you can end up intertwined just because good sex has you looking at the relationship through a filter instead of in a real way. If your goal is to move slowly and really get to know the guy, avoid sleeping with him until you know what you want or don't want from him. And never use sex as a bargaining chip. No, just no.
5.No “We” Talk
Shutterstock
In the beginning, it's important to not talk about the future as it pertains to you two. That doesn't mean that you can't ask questions to gauge what he is looking for or about where he sees himself in the future but don't start planning a life with him. Let me give you an example. Years ago, I met this guy. We went on one date and the next week he invited me to go on a cruise with him and his family. The cruise was in six months. Spoiler alert, I excused myself from that situation expeditiously. "We" talk can be dreamy, and it's easy to put the cart before the horse when you're excited about the prospect of new love, but use the future talk as sparingly as possible until you decide where you are going in the future and if it includes one another.
6.Live Your Life
Shutterstock
Remember that thing you had before you met him? Yes, your life. Go and do that. Before you met this great guy you had friends, a job, and interests. That means no moving plans around with girlfriends to accommodate the last-minute opening for him or waiting by your phone in hopes that he'll have plans for you on a Friday night. You are the prize sis, live your life like one. The right guy won't feel intimidated by your busy-ness, instead he'll rise to the challenge of getting to know you. The absolute best way to take things slow with a guy is to simply live your life and let him get in where he fits in.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Shutterstock
- 9 Rules Of Casual Dating - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In Together? Tips - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, Wellness ›
- Gentlemen Speak: How Do You Know If He's Taking It Slow ›
- 6 ways to take things slow in a relationship without stringing ... ›
- Guys Explain Why They Want To "Take Things Slow" ›
- How To Take Things Slow Without Losing His Interest | MadameNoire ›
- How To Take It Slow In A Relationship So You Don't Ruin A Great ... ›
- The Right Way To Take Things Slow In A New Relationship ›
Erica Green is a Clinical Research Associate, blogger, and a sneakerhead. She has a love for all things women and she's pretty sure that women are God's greatest creation. Connect with her on Instagram @ erica_britt_ or www.lovethegspot.com
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
I Tried Uche Natori's Full Glam Routine & It Leveled Up My Everyday Makeup Look
Mastering a full glam is a work of art. I’ve always watched in awe at the glam girls who truly knew what it meant to bring a face together. One of those women is Uche Natori. Her full glam makeup looks have caught the eyes of thousands across her social platforms. She is a master at providing easy, fun, and fabulous looks. Watching Natori’s makeup tutorials has inspired me to do the unthinkable - trying to master a full glam makeup look for the first time.
One thing about me is that I am a natural makeup girl. I enjoy using concealer on my needed areas, with a bit of blush and mascara to seal the deal. The “no makeup makeup” look has helped me feel my best for many years, and truthfully, I never learned how to do much else. I don’t know how to put on lashes or what it takes to master a good contour. The only thing I have learned in the beauty world is how to make my makeup look like my skin. Although I’m proud of my accomplishments, I think it’s time to build my skills and try to keep up with the “girls.”
A Trip To Sephora
After binge-watching Natori’s videos, I learned early on that I didn’t own most of the items she used. I made my way to my local Sephora to purchase the following: cream contour, powder, foundation, brown lip gloss, neutral blush, and refresh my concealer. Most of these beauty items were familiar due to my past makeup adventures. Powders were more of a learning curve. I typically like my makeup to be dewy and light, so I’ve always avoided using powders. In 2024, I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I had no idea there were different powders for different purposes. The Sephora employee kindly explained to me the difference while I melted internally.
Thankfully, we could navigate a lightweight powder I could use daily without feeling overwhelmed by the product. I continued to bask around Sephora as I selected items from my favorite brands—Fenty, Rare Beauty, Charlotte Tilbury, and more. Once, a confused woman in an overpopulated beauty store slowly turned into a kid in a candy store. It was safe to say I was having a time splurging on “Daddy’s money.” I mean, Daddy xoNecole.
Attempting To Be A Full Glam Girl
Fresh face
Celeste Polanco/xoNecole
I made the decision to skip eyeshadow and lashes for my first attempt. I figured it would be better to master the art of good face makeup before moving to more advanced makeup techniques. It’s also important to note that I used Charlotte Tilbury’s Flawless Filter for my base to ensure I didn’t overwhelm my sensitive skin.
These decisions made going for a “full glam” less intimidating and more achievable.
Foundation
Celeste Polanco/xoNecole
Foundation finish
Celeste Polanco/xoNecole
I prepped the skin before starting and wasted no time going heavy-handed on the Flawless Filter, Fenty Beauty’s Cream Contour, and Dior Concealer—all brands Natori has used in past videos.
Celeste Polanco/xoNecole
When applying contour and concealer, I had to rehydrate the skin. I learned very quickly how fast these items can dry on your skin. Natori typically applies a facial spray during her routine to keep her products hydrating, making them easier to blend. My skin welcomed my makeup again once I used the same technique with Milk Makeup’s Hydro Grip Setting Spray.
Concealer
Celeste Polanco/xoNecole
Concealer finish
Celeste Polanco/xoNecole
Blending began to become seamless, providing the perfect full face that I had always known I could achieve. Once finished, I locked in all my hard work with a traditional Sephora Setting Powder and continued to the next step.
Blush, bronzer, and lip gloss are my best friends. We’ve been going together real bad since my early 20s. Once I made it past securing a good face base, the rest of the makeup routine was familiar. I used NARS Laguna Bronzer to lock in my contour.
Bronzer
Celeste Polanco/xoNecole
Blush
Celeste Polanco/xoNecole
Adding a powder bronzer into my routine brought my face back to life and enhanced my facial features. To give my skin some radiance, I applied the Rare Beauty Blush In the color "Beige Peach."
Concealer after bronzer and blush
Celeste Polanco/xoNecole
Celeste Polanco/xoNecole
I added mascara, eyeshadow, and a lip to complete the look. At the very end, in very Natori fashion, I used one of her signature go-tos, the Patrick Ta Major Glow Balm.
The Results
The finished look
Celeste Polanco/xoNecole
I loved how my makeup turned out! I did a good job landing a good face base. A few areas that could be better are my blush and bronzer. I’m used to using a light hand, which makes my blush disappear in seconds. The point of a full-glam is for it to last! Moving forward, I will be fearless when applying blush and bronzer in hopes of longevity.
It’s safe to say Natori’s complete glam makeup looks are achievable for girls looking to step things up. Your inner glam girl goals are on the other side of your makeup brush, so pick your favorite Uche Natori makeup looks and get started!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Celeste Polanco/xoNecole