Quantcast

Before You Make A DIY Sex Tape, Read This.

Here's how to satisfy the voyeur/exhibitionist in you. ;)

Sex

I've got a question. Have you ever done a sex tape before? C'mon. If you haven't, don't act like you've never considered it before. I mean, it's not like all of us don't have at least a little bit of voyeurism (the desire to watch someone undress or have sex) and/or exhibitionism (the desire to be watched doing the same) in us. It's just that, most of us know to be out here peeking through random windows or stripping out in public is against the law. That's where learning how to make a sex tape comes in. The cool thing about it is it's a wonderful compromise.

So, just how do you pull it off? First, make sure that you make the tape with someone you totally trust, both in and out of the bedroom; that's what's most important. Once you've got the leading man for the starring role, all you've got to do is check the following 10 things off of your DIY sex tape list and you should, literally, be totally good to go.

How To Make A Great Sex Tape

1. Use Your Smartphone. And an Action Camera.

media.giphy.com

What's a sex tape without equipment, right? If all you're planning to do is record a couple of minutes and immediately delete the footage, your smartphone is really all that you need. But, if you want to go all out and record a semi-masterpiece that you can keep for a while, it's best to have your phone and something along the lines of a camcorder or action camera too. Your phone can catch the close-up shots while a camcorder or action camera (with the help of a tripod) can pan away and get the full view of what you and yours are doing.

As far as which is better (a camcorder vs. an action camera), the choice is totally based on personal preference. While a camcorder can give you high quality, even while holding it with one hand, an action camera is typically cheaper and comes with a ton of mountable options. (A list of the best camcorders is here while a list of some of the best action cameras is here.) Oh, and if you're really serious, you'll probably need to edit your video once you're done. If you're a newbie, you can check out a list of some of the most user-friendly editing software that's currently on the market here.

2. Install Some Orange Light Bulbs

media.giphy.com

Next to a good camera to shoot your sex tape with, pretty much any professional videographer or photographer will vouch for the fact that getting the right lighting down is key.

To tell you the truth, it's actually best to go with natural light, which means shooting your tape in the daytime (morning sex, anyone?), but if you'd prefer to do it at night, go with some orange light bulbs. It will create a softer effect on camera and also reduce any scars or marks on your skin that might cause you to be a little self-conscious.

3. Pull Out Some Props

media.giphy.com

Take your sex tape up a notch with the help of a few sex props. You can incorporate something that's already in your house—like your washing machine or kitchen counter—or pick up something like a sex pillow, some handcuffs or a mattress restraint. It really all boils down to how creative and/or risqué you want to get…and how entertaining you want your video to be.

4. Create a Soundtrack. Possibly a Script Too.

media.giphy.com

Something that can make a sex tape super sexy is some really great music. I ain't gonna lie, when I recently saw a duck twerking video (yes, you read that right), after I almost choked on my spit from laughing so hard, the first thing I wanted to know was what song was the duck dancing to. It was a short bop called "Vibe" by an artist named Cookiee Kawaii. If you don't want incredibly slow or even romantic music, adding songs like that can make your sex tape not just erotic but fun too. You can either play music semi-softly in the background or you can add it to your video afterwards (click here to learn how).

Speaking of fun, if you're hesitant to do a sex tape because you're thinking that it would be mad awkward, how about writing a script to follow? If you go into everything from the mindset of acting, it can take some of the pressure off. It can also make it easier to get into the flow of the act as well. It's not going to Hollywood, so don't overthink it. Just develop a couple of characters, a brief storyline and some loose dialogue. Then wing it, literally, from there.

5. Dress Up

media.giphy.com

Unless you want you sex tape to be a real-life documentary, by all means, PLEASE dress up for the occasion. If there was ever a time to pull out your absolutely-over-the-top-lingerie-best, it would be now. In fact, ask your partner what he has always fantasized about seeing you in and wear that. If you want to get all technical and you're wondering which colors resonate best on camera, blues and pastels are pretty dope. So are shades of grey and green.

6. Pick Your Angles

media.giphy.com

Angles are important too. For instance, if you're aiming for getting a wide shot of you and your partner's bodies, it's probably best to prop up your camera on the side of your bed. On the other hand, if a close up of your genitals are more of what you're after, the camera being at the corner of your bed is probably what's best. Just remember that if you use a smartphone and camcorder or action camera, that will help you to easily get some wide shots and close-ups without overthinking or doing a lot of starting and stopping.

7. Do a “Practice Run”

media.giphy.com

Probably, one of the biggest mistakes that people make while shooting a sex tape is just pulling out their phone or camera and pushing record. That's what makes it really amateur-looking. You can avoid this novice faux pas by doing a bit of a test run before you officially record your own. Set your cameras where and how you want and then shoot a few seconds of video, just to make sure you've got your lighting and angles right. It would be a shame to put in all of that hard work while the camera is crooked or the lighting is so bad that everything is blurry or you can't see much of anything at all.

8. Incorporate Some Erotic Self-Focus

media.giphy.com

If you've never watched an Aliya Janell Choreography video before, you're missin' out. One of my favorites is her "Backin' It Up" one ("So Anxious" is really sex too); not just because the girls are absolutely killin' the dance moves, but because they know how to rock heels and work a camera. Those dancers are totally aware of the fact that facial expressions are super important when you want to nail a performance. Same goes for a sex tape.

If you're naturally camera shy, something that can bring out your inner sex kitten is practicing some erotic self-focus. If you're sitting over there like, "What the heck is that?!", no worries. I penned a piece on it not too long ago. You can check it out here.

9. Don’t Forget to Do Some Dirty Talking

media.giphy.com

What's a sex tape without some dirty talking thrown in? Always remember that one of the best things about a sex tape is not just that you're able to watch you and yours in the act but you're able to pay close attention to all that's being said too. If you'd like a little inspiration, Kinky Quotes is full of stimulating one-liners. Remember, only you and yours are gonna see the video, so…feel free to totally go off, sis.

10. Transfer. Or DELETE.

media.giphy.com

Leaked sex tapes. I'll be honest, when it comes to celebrities, a lot of times they're about as "leaked" as their music (meaning, it's called an accident when it really isn't). Still, sometimes it does happen for real and usually that's because their sex tape is out in a cloud somewhere. That's why it's best to either shoot the video, watch it and then totally delete it (if it's on your iPhone, remember that you've got to also delete it from your "recently deleted album"; if it's your computer, remember to delete it from your recycle bin).

Or, if you want to keep it for future viewing pleasure, transfer the footage to your computer (NOT a cloud) and make sure your computer is password protected.

That way, the only people who can see the tape are the ones you want to see it. I'm pretty sure that you can totally feel me on that. Happy sex shooting, y'all.

Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:

Want A More Intense Orgasm? These Tips Are Sure To Make You Cream

10 Secrets To Feeling Super Sexy (When You Don't)

Are You Ready To Amp Up Your Oral Sex Game? Try This.

Make 2020 The Year To Achieve These Next Level #SexGoals

Feature image by Giphy

Black Women, We Deserve More

When the NYT posted an article this week about the recent marriage of a Black woman VP of a multi-billion-dollar company and a Black man who took her on a first date at the parking lot of a Popeyes, the reaction on social media was swift and polarizing. The two met on Hinge and had their parking lot rendezvous after he’d canceled their first two dates. When the groom posted a photo from their wedding on social media, he bragged about how he never had “pressure” to take her on “any fancy dates or expensive restaurants.”

It’s worth reading on your own to get the full breadth of all the foolery that transpired. But the Twitter discourse it inspired on what could lead a successful Black woman to accept lower than bare minimum in pursuit of a relationship and marriage, made me think of the years of messaging that Black women receive about how our standards are too high and what we have to “bring to the table” in order to be "worthy: of what society has deemed is the ultimate showing of our worth: a marriage to a man.

That's right, the first pandemic I lived through was not Covid, but the pandemic of the Black male relationship expert. I was young – thirteen to be exact – when Steve Harvey published his best-selling book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Though he was still just a stand-up comedian, oversized suit hoarder, and man on his third marriage at the time, his relationship advice was taken as the gospel truth.

The 2000s were a particularly bleak time to be a single Black woman. Much of the messaging –created by men – that surrounded Black women at the time blamed their desire for a successful career and for a partner that matched their drive and ambition for the lack of romance in their life. Statistics about Black women’s marriageability were always wielded against Black women as evidence of our lack of desirability.

It’s no wonder then that a man that donned a box cut well into the 2000s was able to convince women across the nation to not have sex for the first three months of a relationship. Or that a slew of other Black men had their go at telling Black women that they’re not good enough and why their book, seminar, or show will be the thing that makes them worthy of a Good Man™.

This is how we end up marrying men who cancel twice before taking us on a “date” in the Popeyes parking lot, or husbands writing social media posts about how their Black wife is not “the most beautiful” or “the most intelligent” or the latest season of trauma dumping known as Black Love on OWN.

Now that I’ve reached my late twenties, many things about how Black women approach dating and relationships have changed and many things have remained the same. For many Black women, the idea of chronic singleness is not the threat that it used to be. Wanting romance doesn’t exist in a way that threatens to undermine the other relationships we have with our friends, family, and ourselves as it once did, or at least once was presented to us. There is a version of life many of us are embracing where a man not wanting us, is not the end of what could still be fruitful and vibrant life.

There are still Black women out there however who have yet to unlearn the toxic ideals that have been projected onto us about our worthiness in relation to our intimate lives. I see it all the time online. The absolute humiliation and disrespect some Black women are willing to stomach in the name of being partnered. The hoops that some Black women are willing to jump through just to receive whatever lies beneath the bare minimum.

It's worth remembering that there are different forces at play that gather to make Black women feast off the scraps we are given. A world saturated by colorism, fatphobia, anti-Blackness, ableism, and classism will always punish Black women who demand more for themselves. Dismantling these systems also means divesting from any and everything that makes us question our worth.

Because truth be told, Black women are more than worthy of having a love that is built on mutual respect and admiration. A love that is honey sweet and radiates a light that rivals the sun. A love that is a steadying calming force that doesn’t bring confusion or anxiety. Black women deserve a love that is worthy of the prize that we are.

Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.

Featured image: Getty Images

The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
Angela Yee Announces New Show Amid The Breakfast Club Departure

On August 10, Angela Yee announced that she is officially leaving Power 105.1’s The Breakfast Club after 12 years. The radio show host initially tweeted about her departure last night which sent social media into a tailspin. “The breakfast club as you know it is officially over,” she tweeted.

Keep reading...Show less
Honey & Spice Author Bolu Babalola’s Hopeful Romance
Some may see romantic comedies and dramas as a guilty pleasure. But author Bolu Babalola indulges in the genre with no apology.
Keep reading...Show less
Saweetie Recalls Tough Conversation She Had With Her Parents About Her Childhood: ‘Lots Of Apologies’

Saweetie’s style and relatable personality have made her one of the most popular female rappers out right now. While she has used her social media to help cultivate her brand, she also gives her fans a glimpse at fun moments with her family and friends. From getting glammed up with her mom, who is a former model, to attending NBA games with her father, who female fans have been pining over, Saweetie seems to keep her family around often. However, she recently revealed that wasn’t always the case.

Keep reading...Show less
The Nail Trends To Try Before Hot Girl Summer Is Over

Are you 'Little Miss Never Knows What Design to Get'? It’s okay if you are because this is a safe space. We know that coming up with your next nail design can be as complicated as the Instagram algorithm these days. For me, getting my nails done and conjuring up a design has been a form of self-care and expression. With folks like Marsai Martin creating press-on nails that more than get the job done, the burden isn’t as heavy and there are some nail techs out here redefining what nail design means.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Former Beyoncé Dancer Deja Riley On Changing Her Career For Her Mental Health

Former Beyoncé Dancer Deja Riley On Changing Her Career For Her Mental Health

"I felt like I was not enough. And my mental health is important. So when I started feeling that way, I knew that it was time to shift."

Latest Posts