If you've been single as long as I have, you begin to notice just how repetitious the dating cycle can be. All the swiping and scrolling. Matching and meeting. Dipping and dodging texts. I could do this blindfolded.
Still, nothing quite prepares you for the moment where you must decide that you've come to the end of the road with your old flame and it's time to become strangers once again. But just how do you do it?
I'll be the first to admit that when it comes to dating and navigating through the "talking phase," if I see that things are going nowhere fast, I'm quick to chuck the deuces up in the privacy of my bedroom and erase his brief existence with a swift swipe-and-delete motion. It may sound harsh, but I'm a part of the legion of millennial women who believe that men should just let us ghost in peace. I mean, why draw things out with a mere stranger? Granted, we all have our personal downfalls because you can only hide behind filters for so long, but a red flag is a red flag no matter where or how it's posted.
Maybe you've been talking to a guy for a week, and before you can even get to the first date, he's sending you unsolicited pictures of his private area from an array of absurd angles. Or, say you all made it to date number two and your conversation was interrupted by a FaceTime from "Baby Mama," and you notice a nervous tick that wasn't there five minutes ago. Warning signs noted, you've come to the decision that, "Yeah, I'm never going to see this guy again."
Thank God for ghosting.
Back when terrestrial modes of communication were the go-to, people actually had to come "face to face" with their insignificant other and "talk things out." Hard pass. Thanks to the internet's ability of making us everywhere and nowhere simultaneously, disappearing off the face of the earth with zero guilt has been made that much easier. You just decide to cease communication with someone and leave it in God's hands.
Still, when it comes to the matters of the heart, one must tread these shallow waters with caution, especially where karma can become involved. Here's how to ghost while keeping it classy:
Commit to the Ghost
When it comes to breaking off your communication with someone, one must never renege. It's like playing a heated game of Spades with your cousins and 'nem: once you put your cards on the table, there's no turning back. That means no popping up after four and a half weeks of radio silence when he posted a thirst trap on IG talking about, "Hey, Big Head." No ma'am, you made your decision a month ago, he deserved better than your 2AM mind games. No take-backs.
How do you respectfully bow out during the early stages of dating? Have you ever ghosted or been ghosted? Share your story in the comments down below.
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