How To Call Your Employer Out On Their Lack Of Corporate Activism
Recently, one of my friends expressed disappointment in her full-time employer for not addressing the current state of affairs with its employees. She works in healthcare and her employer is simply operating business as usual. Social distancing is the only priority while social justice is a mere option. As a Black employee, it's not a good feeling.
Or a good sign.
What a company's complete silence toward protests against police brutality or our fight for civil rights, equality and basic respect as human beings shows us is that "they don't care about you or your advancement," says Lauren Wesley Wilson of ColorComm.
Wilson, founder and CEO of the women's empowerment corporation ColorComm, recently led a conversation on corporate activism and how it pertains to company culture as well as today's climate. To Wilson, corporate activism means:
To strategically advocate for equality inside corporations to ensure underrepresented employees have the same opportunity for advancement as their white counterparts.
Shutterstock
This support can come in a variety of diversity and inclusion forms such as:
- Hiring a chief diversity officer;
- Partnering with community-based organizations;
- Recruiting at historically black colleges and universities; or
- Implementing human resource guidelines for inclusion.
But the programs are essentially meaningless if persons of color make up less than 30% of senior leadership, Wilson says. Who's really going to enforce them? And a company's words can come across as empty with no action to back them up.
Over the past week, my IG timeline alone has been inundated with a steady stream of company commitments to Black Lives Matter referencing "responsibility" and "rising up against racial injustice." We also see companies publicly pledging millions of dollars to various community organizations. And more recently, we see companies racing to produce CVS-style receipts detailing the number of Black executives, staff and board members on their teams for the Pull Up or Shut Up campaign. Some of those figures make me wonder if those companies should've chosen to remain mute like the hospital where my friend works.
One of y'all fave brands can't participate in the #pulluporshutup challenge because their team is all white....has always been....they only use black faces to sell....#butyallaintreadyforthatconvo
— Tina (@thefancyfaced) June 4, 2020
Wilson says every company doesn't need to make a public statement, though, especially if that company isn't internally representative of what they're proclaiming. She's referring to establishments that vow to stand behind the cause or donate money yet continuously lay off persons of color en masse during the pandemic. Or companies that slowly promote us to C-suite and management roles or pay us far less than our white peers in salary, raises and bonus.
Still Wilson says leadership absolutely needs to address the current state of affairs to their employees – at least show us some compassion or concern – and senior management also needs to create a plan for internal changes, especially if we're missing from the organization charts on the company's "About Us" web pages.
Some employers will need a push to make any real change. Others will need a clue. Here's what you can do to help:
Outright ask your senior management their plans to encourage diversity and inclusion in the workplace.
Shutterstock
This isn't a question that's outside or above our pay grades. We can ask even if we don't work in human resources. We also can't assume there's a program already in place and if there is, the existing plan may not even work. In fact, Wilson says that programs such as unconscious bias training, which is designed to raise awareness of microaggressions in the workplace, are usually the worst when it comes to effectiveness.
Additionally, we should ask what specific programs are in place to eradicate racial biases in hiring and promoting. And don't be afraid to find out how long employees who look like us remain in a single position, how far we can climb up the ladder and how long we stay with the company.
Discreetly form your own team of allies.
Recruit your sisters for solidarity but also gather a small but diverse group of coworkers who will fully champion your ideas for change when the time comes to formally present them. In other words, we'll need to round up Karen's more liberal cousins as our backup. I know, it sucks but don't misunderstand this as seeking their validation. They're merely a voice, or more like an echo. Just be sure you're always the one spearheading this (secret) task force.
Ask senior management how their donated funds are being used by receiving organizations.
Shutterstock
Find out if your company's donation to activist groups and other nonprofits is going towards education or funding for community initiatives and which ones. Also inquire whether that money would've been of better use in-house. The key is to determine if those donated dollars are, as Wilson puts it, a change opportunity or a PR opportunity.
Unfortunately, there will be instances where corporate activism is only a buzzword. Despite the conversations, social media posts and charitable contributions, some of us still won't get that much-deserved promotion or pay increase at our current jobs. And we won't get a simple email acknowledging the horrors that continuously affect our lives and livelihoods every single day. At that point it's time for my colleague and anyone else in her predicament, to seek new employment. Invest your time and talent in an organization that invests in you and shows you that our Black Lives truly do Matter.
Need more career talk like this in your life? Join the xoTribe members community to connect, vibe and share your wins with the tribe.
Featured image by Shutterstock
I write about lifestyle and women's health and wellness. When I'm not in front of a computer screen crafting stories, I'm in a kitchen crafting cocktails. Follow me on the 'gram @teronda.
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and felt so deeply connected to them? Everything about the relationship was intense – good or bad? Then you might be in a part of a soul tie.
The concept of a soul tie binds individuals on a level beyond a relationship's physical and emotional aspects; it’s more than a mere connection. You can form a soul tie with anyone – lover, friend, colleague, etc.- but we are discussing romantic partners for this article. Think of you and your partner as an intensely burning flame. The flame can burn passionately to light the relationship’s way or chaotically burn everything in its path. Either way, it leaves an indelible mark on the souls involved.
A soul tie should not be confused with the term “soulmate.” The main difference is that a soul tie can be positive or negative, while a soulmate is a mutual, harmonious connection. Unlike a soul tie, a soulmate relationship is generally characterized by mutual understanding, support, and shared values.
However, the more we learn about soul ties, the more it becomes evident that they are not monolithic; they vary in nature and intensity. As someone who has experienced a negative soul tie, it is crucial to discern whether they contribute positively to personal growth or hinder you from flourishing.
If Your Soul Tie Is Positive
A positive soul tie creates a deep and affirming connection between individuals. One key indicator of a positive soul tie is effective communication. If you’re experiencing a positive soul tie, a shared understanding fosters open and honest dialogue, contributing to a sense of connection and support.
Mutual growth is another hallmark of a positive soul tie. When individuals in a relationship encourage each other's personal development and evolution, it signifies a positive and uplifting connection. This mutual support leads to an environment where both parties can thrive individually and together, contributing to the overall health of the soul tie.
Emotional security is a crucial element in identifying a positive soul tie. In such connections, individuals feel a deep sense of trust and comfort with each other. This emotional security forms a stable foundation for the relationship, allowing both parties to express vulnerability and foster a strong, positive bond. These three indicators—effective communication, mutual growth, and emotional security—underscore the positivity inherent in a healthy and affirming soul tie.
If Your Soul Tie Is Negative
A negative soul tie manifests as a detrimental and draining connection between individuals. One clear sign of a negative soul tie is the presence of emotional turmoilwithin the relationship. When the connection becomes a source of constant distress, causing emotional upheaval and hindering personal development, it indicates a negative soul tie.
Codependency is another red flag for a negative soul tie. In such connections, individuals may become overly reliant on each other, impeding their ability to thrive independently. Codependency often leads to unhealthy dependencies and can result in a toxic dynamic that hinders both individuals' growth and well-being.
A lack of effective communication is a third indicator of a negative soul tie. When there is a breakdown in communication, misunderstandings and unresolved issues can fester, contributing to a strained and unhealthy connection. In negative soul ties, the absence of open and honest dialogue can perpetuate a cycle of negativity and prevent the resolution of underlying issues. These three indicators—emotional turmoil, codependency, and poor communication—point to the negativity associated with an unhealthy soul tie.
Putting Out The Fires And Breaking Your Soul Tie
Unfortunately, my deep, intense connection only caused destruction. And despite the obvious red flags, it took a minute before I broke the connection. Why? Because I was addicted to the relationship, we both were. But it is possible to break a soul tie if and when you are ready because if you are not, pretending you are when you are not is a waste of your time.
Breaking a soul tie requires intentional and purposeful actions. Establishing clear and firm boundaries is a fundamental step in severing the connection. By limiting contact and emotional engagement with the person involved, individuals can gradually weaken the tie and create space for personal growth.
Seeking professional support is another effective strategy to break a soul tie. Guidance from therapists or counselors provides valuable insights and coping strategies. Professional assistance can help individuals navigate the emotional challenges associated with breaking a soul tie, offering a structured and supportive environment for healing.
Redirecting energy toward personal growth is important in breaking free from a soul tie. Engaging in activities that promote individual well-being and create a sense of independence allows individuals to refocus their attention on their own growth and development. This redirection of energy is essential for breaking the emotional bonds of a soul tie and moving towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.
The last step I advise everyone to go through is the mourning period. My partner and I did our song and dance for years before I walked away. And I would be lying if I didn’t say that I mourned our relationship while I healed.
Recognizing the presence and nature of a soul tie in your relationship is crucial to understanding its impact on your well-being. Whether positive or negative, the intensity of a soul tie can shape the course of your personal growth and happiness. Breaking free from a negative soul tie demands intentional efforts, from setting clear boundaries to seeking professional support. Redirecting energy toward personal growth and allowing oneself a necessary mourning period are vital steps toward healing and liberation from the intricate ties that bind.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by JD Mason/ Unsplash