How LIT Brooklyn Founder Denequa Williams Clarke Likes To Recharge On The Weekend
As a part of our Friday Nights, Saturday Mornings feature, we're talking to some of our favorite boss ladies about their weekends, their way. How do they relax, recharge and refuel? As we all know, life shouldn't be all about work. It's what we do beyond business and career that help keep us motivated and able to dominate for the week ahead.
Meet newly married Denequa Williams Clarke - founder of Lit Brooklyn - a luxury fragrance company specializing in candles. Here's how Denequa finds balance on the weekends.
Photo by Joe Chea
Denequa’s biggest challenge running LIT Brooklyn:
"I don't think you'll ever find a balance in anything. It's more about finding harmony in your personal and professional life. Sometimes asking for help and being vulnerable enough to ask for help can also be tough."
The perfect way to spend a Friday Night:
"I love a glass of wine and catching up on TV. Right now I'm watching This Is Us and starting from season one of Game of Thrones. I also enjoy hanging out with my friends."
Courtesy of Denequa Williams Clarke
How Denequa powers up on Saturday Mornings:
"I always start my mornings with prayer. How you start your day goes to show how your day and the rest of the week will go. Then, I drink a cup of tea and check my emails. I've been starting to exercise at least for 20-25 minutes. Working out in the mornings and helps me refuel myself for the rest of the day."
The ideal way to spend a Girls' Night:
"I like to catch up with stuff that's going on with us personally that has nothing to do with work. As millennials and entrepreneurs, it's so easy to get caught up in our work life. Sometimes we forget to ask our friends how their personal life is going."
Photo by @dadouchic
Why finding balance is important:
"We only have one life to live. We are multifaceted beings that are great at doing numerous things. When you only focus on doing one thing, you're neglecting other parts of yourself who make you who you are. Finding time for everything you love is super important. We're more than just what we do as entrepreneurs. We have other things going for us and other things that make us smile and our hearts flutter. Relationships are also important. I often hear a lot of my friends who are entrepreneurs say that something suffers - whether it's the person you're in a relationship with or friendships. You should find time for everything."
How Denequa likes to recharge:
"How I like to recharge is to look on vacation planning sites and find a cheap flight or getaway. I love the sun, beach, and water. It might be because I'm a Pisces but something about going away and coming back fuels your creativity. That's how your business flourishes. The more ideas you come up with, the more innovative your business becomes. Your business will feel it. If you're not creatively fueled, your business is going to suffer. I believe that wholeheartedly."
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Rana Campbell is a Princeton University graduate, storyteller, content marketing strategist, and the founder and host of Dreams In Drive - a weekly podcast that teaches you how to take your dreams from PARK to DRIVE. She loves teaching others how to use their life stories to inspire action within oneself and others. Connect with her on Instagram @rainshineluv or @dreamsindrive.
This Couple Almost Let Their 8-Year Age Gap Keep Them From Finding Love With One Another
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
I’m willing to bet that this is not the first time you’ve seen this couple. Dalen Spratt is a television producer, owner of a tailored men's suit line, and creator of Ghost Brothers: Haunted Houseguests, which is currently streaming on Destination America. Stacey Spratt is also a serial entrepreneur, focusing mostly on events and the nonprofit world, and she is the owner of two award-winning craft beer bars called Harlem Hops. But their accolades are not what united them.
The couple met years ago at their alma mater, Clark Atlanta University, when they were still working to create the life they have now, and if you had told them then that they’d eventually tie the knot, the pair probably would’ve laughed in your face.
Today, they’re new parents, flourishing in their careers, and each others’ “teammates.” When desiring love, Dalen recommends not looking to other couples for advice. And Stacey advises staying true to what you want. “Don’t put age or limitations on love and children. If God could do it for me, why can’t he do it for you?”
Here's How We Met.
How did you meet?
Dalen: We met in 2005 when she was advising the Greek sororities and fraternities in college. She was old as hell in college, and I was a young buck (laughs). Everybody had a crush on her, but I didn’t think much of it. Then, in 2007, we were in the same grad school class, but she still wasn’t trying to see me then either. I had to catch her five years ago; I was very patient.
Stacey: Yeah, everybody in our grad school class called him Young, Fresh to Death because he was always dressed in B-school (what CAU affectionately refers to as business major classes), and we’d just wear sweatpants (laughs).
So, I know Dalen was always attracted to you. But what about you? Did your attraction to him develop over time?
Stacey: So 2006-2008 – all the years went by. I don’t think we were really thinking about each other at all back then. Years later, I had an event in Dallas, and I booked him to be a speaker. Then, a few years ago, Dalen posted a photo of him on Instagram, and I slid in his DMs. I remembered him being so young and handsome, and I’m like, I should hook him up with my younger cousin. His response was: "If you’re not hooking me up with you, no thank you." But I still thought he was too young at the time, and he started pulling receipts. Taraji P. Henson was dating someone young at the time, Gabrielle Union–
Dalen: First of all, I didn’t do that. You did that.
Stacey: Okay, I did. I thought he was a cutie pie, but that age thing was on my mind!
"Dalen posted a photo of him on Instagram, and I slid in his DMs. I remembered him being so young and handsome, and I’m like, I should hook him up with my younger cousin. His response was: 'If you’re not hooking me up with you, no thank you.'"
Courtesy
Talk to me about the first date. How did he change your mind?
Stacey: Our first date was at Tin Lizzy's in Atlanta. During that time, he was living in Dallas, so it was long-distance. But he came into town, and we just had a good time. We talked a lot, which we still do. It wasn’t anything fantastic.
Dalen: Don’t downplay our first date.
Then, walk me through your courtship. How did you get to the next level? What was that conversation like?
Stacey: I think he knew at age 43 or 44 I wasn’t playing around. But also, I think it just naturally progressed.
Dalen: Yeah, it just happened naturally. And I’m going to be honest, I don’t think initially either one of us thought it would be as serious as it was. She thought I was too young and I wasn’t ready for marriage, kids, and all that. I think we both thought we were just hanging out. But after spending so much time together, a lot of stuff started happening. Like, she had to have surgery early on. It wasn’t just time together; it was intimate time. Next thing we know, we just never left each other. That’s why we still don’t have an anniversary date because we never really asked.
"It wasn't just time together; it was intimate time. Next thing we know, we just never left each other. That's why we still don't have an anniversary date because we never really asked."
What made you want to commit to each other?
Dalen: The moment I knew Stacey was for me was from a phone call. I don’t really like talking on the phone, and I can be really blunt sometimes. But we were talking, and I said, ‘I don’t really feel like talking anymore.’ And she was just like, okay, and hung up. I wasn’t trying to be rude, and she understood that. It sounds bad, but that’s how I knew she just got me. I felt like she could get my random awkward moments, and she does to this day.
Stacey: For me, I liked him as a person. Even when times get rough and tough, I could still like him as a human. He is my best friend. We have time. We laugh until we cry, and it’s just always like that. Even when we get pissed at each other, something happens, and we fix it. Also, how he treats his mother. That’s a momma’s boy, but I’m a daddy’s girl – so I get it. I know how I want to be treated, and I see how he is with her and that’s beautiful.
What are some important lessons you’ve learned about yourself through loving your partner in this relationship?
Dalen: I grew up an only child and she grew up with siblings. So, when you have someone who is used to doing things by themselves, there is definitely a learning curve when you get into a serious relationship. It’s funny now, but it was definitely a process.
Stacey: I agree – definitely the only child thing. There’s times I look at him like, did you ever live with anyone else? That comes from being momma's baby, too. I have to say, my “mother-in-love” spoiled him. But also with Axel (their daughter), that brings another level of patience.
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images
What was the biggest challenge that you had to overcome together?
Dalen: We’ve gone through a lot within the years we’ve been together. We suffered two miscarriages – I’d say that’s the biggest.
Stacey: Having those miscarriages and trying to understand what’s next and what our options are was a lot. I had two myomectomies (fibroid surgeries), and he supported me through that time. Also, still, it was on my mind that he’s eight years younger than me. I was wondering if I can’t carry [a child] what that looks like for us. We had very real conversations pretty early in our relationship.
"Having those miscarriages and trying to understand what’s next and what our options are was a lot. I had two myomectomies (fibroid surgeries), and he supported me through that time. Also, still, it was on my mind that he’s eight years younger than me."
What do you fight the most about?
Dalen: Nagging. Stacey nags; she’s a complainer. She’s that momma that will look in a room and just hunt for something to complain about. Like, I’m worried for Axel when she's in high school.
Stacey: It’s because I like things to be in place. He leaves stuff all over the place. I can tell where he’s been in the house because something is left around. So he says I’m nagging – but it’s like, just get your stuff.
What are your love languages?
Dalen: Stacey is gifts all day.
Stacey: *thinks*
Dalen: We’ve talked about this. xoNecole is about to cause problems in our home (laughs).
Stacey: Obviously I love you. *thinks again* It’s words of affirmation.
Dalen: That’s it.
What’s your favorite thing about each other?
Dalen: I’ve always respected her business-mindedness. That may sound superficial, but it’s not because I’ve never been with someone who thinks like me. It’s one of my most treasured things about her. I remember one day, I was just running through ideas with her, and each time Stacey had a suggestion on how I could make it better. It’s just very comforting. She takes whatever I’m doing and elevates it – including me.
Stacey: I love Dalen’s hustle and creativity. He’s been on multiple shows, and he continues to create, produce, and reinvent himself and the product he’s putting out. I love that we can create together and bounce things off each other. Even though we may be in different arenas, there’s nothing he can’t offer me great advice about. I love that drive.
Finally, how did you know it was love?
Dalen: Well – she said it – first. (laughs)
Stacey: And he looked at me and smiled! He didn’t say it back. We were on a trip, out of the country.
Dalen: We were arguing when she said it, and she just threw it out.
Stacey: But we continue to do that. We’ve spent holidays and everything outside of the country.
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What 2024 Has In Store For Your Love Life, According To Your Zodiac Sign
Love in 2024 is about finding the balance between your needs and the needs of your relationships. The blindfolds are being taken off, and clarity is gained in matters of the heart. With Jupiter in Taurus for half the year, a Venusian sign aligned with love, with two eclipses in Libra, another sign ruled by Venus, the planet of love, and with Mars going retrograde at the end of the year, there is a lot to take in and a lot to feel through when it comes to romance. This year is an opportunity to decide from the heart and to bridge the gap between what you want in love and what you have through self-confidence and faith.
There are a few key dates of the year when relationship matters will be more heightened. A few of them are on March 25, during the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra, and on November 2, the New Moon Solar Eclipse.
2024 Love Forecast For Each Zodiac Sign
During the Lunar Eclipse culminations come to fruition in love, and it’s a time of letting go of any energy you don’t want to bring with you in your relationships anymore. This is a time for healing in love and a time to regroup. On Nov. 2, there is a Solar Eclipse in Libra, and this is a time of major changes in love and in the direction it is headed. Remember that things need time to settle when it comes to eclipses, and the changes you are seeing now may not be a forever thing.
Give yourself and love grace, and see how you can learn and grow with another, rather than retreat.
Saturn is in Pisces for the entire year, which is also shaping things romantically for the world, as Pisces is a more emotional and heartfelt sign. While Saturn is in Pisces, we learn through our emotions, and we discover the stability that comes from healing. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself the tough questions this year and to do what it takes to move you away from fear of vulnerability, and closer to love. With Juno in Virgo for most of this year as well, the need to take care of yourself and your well-being and to create more of this good health and nurture in your relationships is prevalent.
This year is overall about recognizing your needs in love, and if they align with the people you are connected to or are in your life. Are you overcompensating or giving more than you want to or have in you to give? Can you ask for what you need to create more room for clarity and understanding in your relationships rather than confusion?
If you were to take a look at where love and the close relationships in your life are right now, would you be satisfied and happy with where things are, or would you look for a new path? This year is an opportunity, and it’s one to strengthen where the love is for you already or open new doors by showing you what else is possible for you.
Keep reading for your sun and rising sign to see what your energy in love is like for 2024:
Petri Oeschger/Getty Images
ARIES
This year is a powerful year of love for you, Aries. You are receiving the love you are looking for, and the growth you are moving through now is here to stay and is only going to get better for you. With an eclipse in your sign this year, the North Node in your sign, and Chiron in your sign as well, a lot of the focus is on you in 2024, and you are a true power player of the year.
Something healing is taking place for you over the next year, and you are healing your perspective and idea of love. There is less of a need to always do things alone and to keep everything in, and this year is teaching you that you can trust love, you can trust the people in your life, and that when you open up to the things you want, you feel less alone.
TAURUS
Love this year is about giving patience and allowing yourself it as well, Taurus. Jupiter is in your sign until May, and when Jupiter is in your sign, you experience some of the luckiest months of your life. So, being in this energy is going to benefit your life on all levels, including love. However, Chiron is also in your 12th house of closure, and you are letting go of your past traumas or challenges in love.
With you already being a relationship-focused sign, things can feel like a lot to handle emotionally at times this year.
Your guidance is to think things through, to think before speaking, and to only take action when you feel inspired and intentional about it. Allow love to fall into place without getting too ahead of yourself, and trust that the right person will be there when you are ready.
GEMINI
This year is about opportunities in love, Gemini. New paths are opening up to you, new people are coming into your life, and love is moving forward. This is an exciting year for love, and with Jupiter, the planet of blessings in your sign from May 25th into 2025, you have luck on your side right now. This is a year of being seen for the gift that you are and about experiencing success in many different areas of your life, including romantically. There are two eclipses in your 5th house of romance this year, and things are getting interesting for you here.
You are moving through changes in what and who makes you happy, what you want to spend your time on, and how you want to show up in your relationships. With Venus in your sign from May 23rd until June 17th, mid-year is when things start to pick up for you in love, and this energy will last through the year.
CANCER
Love this year is all about trusting your intuition and using what wisdom you have gained for your benefit, Cancer. You are someone who understands emotions well, and you are using this strength of yours in your relationships. Venus is in your sign from June 17th until July 5th, and mid-year, you are moving through a time of feeling seen and like the love you give is being reciprocated.
The Cancer New Moon on July 5th is a good time to set your intentions for romance and to focus on what perspectives you have to make sure you are manifesting what you want and not what you fear. With Saturn in Pisces and in your 5th house of romance this year, you are learning a lot about what makes you happy right now, and this may be a gradual process for you. Trust where you are being led in 2024, and trust your own inner heart to guide you.
LEO
Your heart is protected, and you are free to love, Leo. This year is a big year for growth in love, but the lessons in obtaining it may be difficult at times. You are being guided to create more healthy boundaries in your life, to not give up on the things you have worked towards, and to trust your heart. Being there for yourself is not selfish, and the people who get it will be there for you regardless of what is happening in your life.
Mars goes retrograde every two years, and just so happens to be going retrograde in your sign this year from December 16th until February 24th. The end of the year will be a time of releasing negative energy from your life, refocusing your motives and intentions, and finding renewed passion in love. This year overall is helping you see where you need to let go emotionally and where you want to strengthen.
Petri Oeschger/Getty Images
VIRGO
Love this year is about trusting your instincts, Virgo. You may have to make some uncomfortable decisions this year, but they will ultimately lead you to a better experience in love overall. With Saturn, the planet of challenge, restriction, and structure, in your 7th house of love and partnerships this year, you may be feeling more pressure in your relationships, and like there is room to grow here. Give yourself and others as much grace as you can, yet be firm in what you want for yourself and where you want to be.
Juno is in Virgo until August of this year, and this energy is healing for you in love and is allowing you to see the fine details of your relationships clearly. Overall, this year is about being brave, being honest, being grateful, and doing what you feel is right.
LIBRA
ove for you this year is transformational, Libra. Love is overall surprising you in 2024, and there is a lot to grasp, and also a lot to let go of as you move through the year. With two eclipses in your sign and one eclipse in the area of your chart having to do with love and relationships, you are finding your balance here. The New Moon Eclipse in Aries on April 8th, is when you are going to start seeing these changes and new beginnings come about for you in love, but this year is also more about having fun with it all and not holding yourself or anyone else to too many restrictions.
Things change, and the more you can trust that you will benefit from said changes, the better. The North Node is in your 7th house of love this year as well, and you are overall going to be developing a lot regarding relationship matters and will be reaching some important awareness and goals here.
SCORPIO
This is a year of good karma for you in love, Scorpio. The things you have been hoping for, the justice you have been seeking, and the balance you have been working towards are coming into focus for you now. This is a powerful year for you when it comes to romance, and the first half of 2024 is when a lot of this energy is going to be more prominent for you. Jupiter is in your house of love until May 25th, and you have good luck on your side when it comes to soulmates and manifesting your dreams in love.
Uranus is also in your 7th house of love, and there are some surprises in store for you this year, and they are coming exactly when you need them. Saturn, being in your house of romance for the year as well, is balancing the growth and new beginnings you are experiencing with the stability and structure you need to maintain them.
SAGITTARIUS
You are being protected in love this year, Sagittarius. This is a year of gaining awareness in your relationships and about creating a new chapter for yourself here. Not everyone is going to get you or be the right one for you, and you are weaving through the what-ifs and making room for the people you truly want to say yes to. The second half of the year is going to be the most beneficial for you in love, as Jupiter enters Gemini and moves into your house of partnership from May 25th to 2025.
Love is going to get really good for you as the year ends, especially with Venus entering your sign for a month on October 17th. Chiron, being in your 5th house of romance this year, is also guiding you toward your personal happiness, and attracting to you healing, loving, and emotionally expressive individuals who want to show their love for you.
CAPRICORN
This year, you are in a good space in love and are feeling the stability, growth, and abundance of your relationships. This is a time when you are being recognized for what you bring to the table and the fact that you deserve everything you want here. You are leading the way forward in love and are claiming the good that wants to come into your life this year.
Venus is in your sign twice in 2024, once at the beginning of the year and again at the end, and there are also two Capricorn Full Moons this year as well. There is something extra magical about this year for you, Capricorn. There are gifts that want to come in for you, opportunities to grab hold of, and self-empowerment to own. You are happy with where things are in love in 2024, feeling emotionally secure, and are doing things your own way.
AQUARIUS
This year is about overcoming fears in love, Aquarius. You are moving through a time of healing in your relationships and a time of noticing where the restrictions have been for you in love. There are some limitations you are overcoming now, as you challenge yourself to connect and be more vulnerable with how you are feeling with others.
True power can come through expressing your emotions, and with Pluto in your sign this year, you are finding your voice and where you can hone in on your strengths more.
With Saturn being in your 2nd house of self-confidence, investments, and values this year, you are also looking at where you want to put more energy into your relationships and where you need to ask for more of what you are looking for. Venus is in your house of love from July 11 to August 4, and this is a good time of the year for you romantically in 2024.
PISCES
You are getting a fresh start in love this year, Pisces. This is a fruitful year for you emotionally, and a time where you are seeing your relationship goals manifest and come to fruition. Saturn is in your sign in 2024, and you are going through a major growth spurt in life, but you are finally starting to see the benefits of how you have evolved personally.
You are going about things in your relationships in a healing and nurturing way, and you are receiving the love and support that you give. Mercury will be retrograde in your 7th house of love for a little over a week from August 4 to August 14, and some extra patience within your relationships will be needed then. However, with Juno also in your 7th house of love for most of the year, you are overall at a time of feeling commitment and receptivity in your love life this year.
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