What Halle Berry's Relationship History Says About Divine Timing
Halle Berry is a girl's girl, but it's no secret she has love for men too. However, her list of high-profile relationships has been met with harsh criticism like "she can't keep a man." In true Halle Berry fashion, the star addressed the trolls with a classy clapback via Instagram last year writing:
"Who said I wanted to keep them? I'm all about living your best life, if you make a wrong move, course correct and re-spin and start again!"
We couldn't have said it any better! The Hollywood star is all about the re-spin and so are we. The 53-year-old mom of two chatted with friend Lena Waithe over an Instagram Live a year ago about how it's been navigating singledom after her last divorce with actor Olivier Martinez. "I have decided to take time. I'm very much a relationship-oriented person, I always want to be with someone. But I decided, no I'm going to slow my roll, I'm going to take a minute and I'm going to spent time with me," she said.
"One year led to two years and two years is now leading to three years. But I'm fine because I think the next relationship I have I think I will have a better chance of attracting and choosing what's right for me because I've taken this time to think about what's important to me."
She continued, "I no longer feel the need for a relationship so I don't feel the need to rush or accept something that's not totally right for me. Not that anything's wrong with the people I've been with but I'm going to wait for my match or I will stay solo and be with my kids and do my life the way I'm doing it."
Chris Pizzello-Pool/Getty Images
Fast forward a year later, and Halle has hit another re-spin! She and new beau Van Hunt made their official couple debut on the 2021 Oscars red carpet. The couple was the talk of the awards show, but we want to talk about how Halle is living proof that simply just settling should never be an option. She looks happier than ever since she started dating the Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter in September 2020.
Below see Halle's dating history (including three marriages) that led her to her newfound love at 53. Say it with us, respin.
Danny Wood (1989):
Larry Busacca/WireImage
Halle's first relationship thrust into the limelight was with New Kids on the Block's Danny Wood. It was brief but the paparazzi loved the pair even though Halle hadn't shot to stardom yet.
Christopher Williams (1991-1992):
Aside from dating Halle Berry, R&B crooner Christopher Williams is most known for his hit singles "Talk to Myself" (1989), "I'm Dreamin'" (1991), and "Every Little Thing U Do" (1993).
David Justice (1993-1997):
Ron Davis/Getty Images
This pro-baseball player was Halle's first husband. It's safe to say that things did not end amicably between the two since after their split Halle filed for a restraining order against David Justice. In the past, the actress has also been transparent about trying to commit suicide after the failure of their marriage. She told Parade magazine via PEOPLE:
"It was all about a relationship. My sense of worth was so low. I promised myself I would never be a coward again."
Shemar Moore (1997-1998):
Although Halle dated the Criminal Minds actor during the prime of her career, they were very private. Only in recent years has Shemar Moore opened up. "She was the first woman to really knock my socks off. I fell hard for Halle. A lot of people now know we dated, but we had to keep it hush-hush at the time because she was fresh off her divorce from David Justice. I'm still grateful for that relationship," spilled in an interview circa 2013.
Eric Benét (2001-2005):
Frank Trapper/Corbis via Getty Images
This R&B/neo soul singer-songwriter and actor, who has received a total of four Grammy nominations, was the second man to put a ring on Halle's finger. After meeting in 1997, the pair got engaged three years later and officially tied the knot in January 2001. Eric Benet and Halle Berry quickly went from Hollywood "it" couple to divorce after he admitted to infidelity on his part. Halle opened up to Oprah Winfrey about their marriage saying she had an emotional breakdown when he told her about his affairs, but that she became stronger after the marriage failed.
"I had an emotional breakdown... I knew for a fact, 'this is not my fault.' Because I knew I'd been a good wife. I'd given a lot of myself and I learned from mistakes I thought I made in my first marriage. I knew I had grown in many areas."
Michael Ealy (2004-2005):
Halle had chemistry with her Their Eyes Were Watching God co-star Michael Ealy on and off-screen. Although it didn't work out, the actors remain friends till this day.
Gabriel Aubry (2005-2010):
Steve Granitz/WireImage
When Halle began dating this Canadian model, the two were pictured everywhere. They share a daughter, Nahla, together who they've famously battled over in court.
Olivier Martinez (2013-2016):
Halle Berry married French actor Olivier Martinez shortly after her split from Aubry. Their son Marco, was born soon after that. Olivier famously got into a fistfight during his time with Halle with her ex Aubry that made headlines.
Alex da Kid (2017):
After her third marriage didn't work out, Halle dated this British musician for a couple of months.
Van Hunt (Present):
Chris Pizzello-Pool/Getty Images
Halle gushed about her new man in a sweet birthday post ahead of their Oscars debut:
"A real woman can do it all by herself, but a real MAN won't let her. Happy birthday VanO. I only wish I'd known you sooner so I could have loved you longer!"
#Respin
Featured image by Chris Pizzello-Pool/Getty Images
Jazmine A. Ortiz is a creative born and raised in Bushwick, Brooklyn and currently living in Staten Island, NY. She started in the entertainment industry in 2012 and now works as a Lifestyle Editor where she explores everything from mental health to vegan foodie trends. For more on what she's doing in the digital space follow her on Instagram at @liddle_bitt.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images