

Is Your Hair “Spring Ready”? If Not, Follow These Tips.
Every time that a new season rolls around, something I try and do is provide hair tips to help to prepare for it. Well, now that spring is officially here and I'm pretty sure that you're beyond ready to get out of your house a little bit more, I wanted to make sure that your hair is at its best, whenever you do. So below, you'll find 12 tips that can help your hair to look and feel its best; especially if you're looking to gain a few extra inches come Labor Day.
1. Get a Microfiber Towel for Curly Hair
If you don't treat your hair to anything else this spring season, make sure to cop yourself a microfiber towel. Using a microfiber towel for curly hair is dope because, not only does the material help to prevent snagging, but it also absorbs water without drying out your tresses, and doesn't leave any lint in your hair (a big plus) and it significantly reduces your chances of frizzing. Since it's getting warmer outside and you probably wanna rock more wash 'n go looks more often, all of this is really good to know. Home improvement stores and places like Target and Walmart carry them for a pretty reasonable price.
2. Exfoliate Your Scalp with Homemade Coffee Scrub for the Scalp
As I'm in the midst of my own hair journey, something that I have learned on a very personal level is, that the more I take care of my scalp, the more my hair is able to flourish. That's why I'm all about scalp exfoliation (check out "Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend"). It removes dead skin cells. It helps to balance your scalp's pH levels. It unclogs hair follicles. It soothes the scalp (so that you can keep your hands out of your hair more). And, if you decide to exfoliate with coffee beans, it can actually stimulate hair growth. One reason why is because it's able to increase blood circulation to your scalp. Another reason is it contains antioxidants that are able to block DHT (Dihydrotestosterone) which is a hormone that sometimes causes hair loss.
If you'd like to exfoliate with a homemade coffee scrub for the scalp, simply combine three tablespoons of fresh coffee grounds with one tablespoon of brown sugar (it's a humectant; more on that in a sec), two teaspoons of olive oil (olive oil is also high in antioxidants) and a couple of drops of peppermint essential oil (it increases blood circulation, moisturizes and invigorates your scalp). Mix everything together and apply to your damp hair and scalp before shampooing or conditioning your hair. Gently massage your scalp for about five minutes, let the exfoliant sit for five more, rinse your hair with warm water and go on with your wash routine as usual. Your scalp will feel amazing!
3. Skip the Sulfates and Wash Your Curly Hair with Shampoo Bars
It has taken me a hot minute to find the best shampoo for my hair. I've shared before that, for me, shampoo bars are the lick. The ones that I've purchased on Etsy are all-natural and sulfate-free. Also, since they are a bar, I can basically massage my head while applying the shampoo. Shampoo bars are super concentrated with whatever ingredients that they contain. They're good for the environment (because there's nothing to throw away). And they get your hair really clean without totally drying them out.
You can find shampoo bars more and more at local beauty supply stores. As I said, though, Etsy is the lick. Just go to the site, put "shampoo bar" in the search field and you'll be able to read up on all kinds so that you can figure out which one works best for your personal hair needs.
4. Condition Your Hair with Canned Coconut Milk
I don't care how well you take care of your hair, if you're not conditioning it properly, it's never gonna thrive in the way that you truly want it to. Not only does conditioning your locks help to put moisture into them, but it also gives your hair extra sheen, increases its elasticity (so that it doesn't break as much when you're styling it), can reduce the trauma that color-treating your hair can cause and it can decrease the chances of hair damage too. If you'd prefer to go with an all-natural conditioner (so that you can keep a lot of unnecessary chemicals out of your hair), a must-add ingredient is coconut milk.
When it comes to our hair, specifically, coconut milk is high in lauric acid (which helps to strengthen your hair's cuticles). Our hair is made of protein (keratin) and coconut milk is high in it. Vitamins B, C, and E are all up in coconut milk. Some of the properties in coconut milk can actually help to slow down hair loss. The anti-inflammatory properties in coconut milk can soothe scalp irritation and dandruff. And the fatty acids in coconut milk can deeply condition your hair too.
Coconut milk also smells pretty nice in your hair, so if you want to try it as a deep conditioner for your hair, click here to check out a video on how to make it and here for instructions on how to DIY a leave-in option.
5. Use Some Humectants for Your Natural Hair in the Spring
One of the reasons why our hair can sometimes get really dry is our curls happen to be tighter than other ethnicities typically are. As a result, the natural sebum that our hair follicles produce is unable to easily flow down the entire strand of our hair. This is why it's so important to deep condition your hair every wash day. You also should look into adding some humectants to your hair as well. What are humectants and how can you apply them to your hair? Basically, humectants are products that help to pull moisture out from their air and into your hair (and skin). Honey is a humectant. Aloe Vera is a humectant. Vegetable glycerin is a humectant. Off of the top of my head, these are three ingredients that you can add to your shampoo, conditioner or put into a water bottle and lightly spray your hair with that can help to bring moisture to your hair, so that it doesn't feel dry and brittle.
6. Go Lighter with the Types of Hair Creams, Oils, and Butters You Use
Something that I'm a huge fan of is sealing my ends (check out "Top To Bottom: 10 Tips To Strengthen Your Hair Follicles & Protect Your Ends"). It's basically when you apply some type of hair cream or butter (shea butter is bomb) to your ends, after applying some oil to your hair, in order to seal in moisture on your wash day so that your ends break less. While sealing is something that you should do, no matter what time of year it may be, if you've been applying butters and creams to your hair over the fall and winter seasons in order to give your hair more moisture, you might wanna let up on them, just a bit, during the spring and summertime.
The warmer times of the month are usually when we want our hair to have a bit more movement. Besides, butters and creams can weigh your hair down. That's why you might wanna try a light oil instead. Sweet almond oil, grapeseed oil, jojoba oil, avocado oil, pomegranate oil, and argan oil are all potent moisturizers that don't leave a lot of residues behind.
7. Wet ‘n Define Your Curls
Now that it's getting warmer outside, you might want to wear a wash 'n go or twist out more often. If you want either look to last for more than a couple of days, the key is definition. When it comes to wearing a blowout, it's best if you allow your hair to dry about 60 percent before applying the heat of your blow dryer to it so that you don't end up frying your locks (don't forget to put some thermal heat protectant on your hair, by the way). On the other hand, if you want your curls to look as defined as possible, you're going to need to do the complete opposite—your hair needs to be wet, then apply your product, and then allow your hair to air dry.
I already know. This sometimes can take several hours, if not even a couple of days, based on how thick your hair is or how long it may be. Still, it really is the most effective way to get the look that you're after. And just what are some of the best products on the market to achieve the most optimal results? Naturally Curly has a list of 10 defining products that you can check out here. Caring for Natural Hair's site has some good tips for how to have a bangin' wash 'n go. You can check it out here.
8. DIY Your Own Hair Mousse
When it comes to what can give your curls the kind of definition that you're after, it's important that you avoid hair products that contain alcohol. That's because alcohol can dry your hair out and ultimately lead to breakage. So, what should you do? Well, a healthy alternative is to make your own hair mousse. Mousse is great because it is able to protect your strands while reducing frizz and giving them a good amount of definition in the process. If this is something that you want to try, again, check out Naturally Curly's "3 All-Natural (Firm Hold) Curl Styler Recipes". It's got a recipe that's easy to make and makes your hair look and feel pretty amazing.
9. Keep a Rosewater Hair Spritz as a Moisturizer/Conditioner for Your Curls
If you're someone who lets your soul glow by wearing an Afro most of the time, something that you might want to keep close by is some rosewater spritz. Personally, I'm such a fan of it that I actually shouted it out in an article on how to heal dry skin too (you can check it out here). Off top, you can probably guess that rosewater is the ultimate moisturizer/conditioner. And indeed it is.
Rosewater is also really good for your hair because 1) it helps to keep calcium build-up in tap water from damaging your hair; 2) it can help to remove dandruff flakes; 3) it soothes your scalp if it is irritated or inflamed; 4) it reduces frizzing and 5) it adds shine. Something else that's great about rosewater is if you use it as a spritz in your hair, the scent of it can actually help to decrease symptoms that are related to headaches and migraines (how cool is that?).
If you want to make some of your own from the comfort and convenience of your own home, check out this video and this video for step-by-step tutorials.
10. Pull Out the Hair Accessories
Hair has décor trends, just like anything else does. So, why not get into some of the hair accessories that have already proven to be really popular this year? Some of them include super-wide, braided and beaded headbands; vintage scarves (like literally tying them underneath your chin); hats with wide brims; either really small or super large hair clips; pearly hair claws; putting multiple hair pins in your hair at one time (like on the back when you're rocking a low ponytail); black ribbons and, of course, flowers.
11. Get on Top of the 2021 Hair Trends
When it's cold outside, we're oftentimes rocking hats and wrapping our hair up in scarves in order to protect it from the harsh winds and bitter chilly temps. Now that the weather is milder, it's time to put our hair up into some trends, don't you think? Some popular ones for 2021 include Bantu knots, long braids and twists, layered textured bobs, bangs, and "messy hair" (which is basically just adding a little bit of product to whatever your natural texture is and letting your hair do whatever it wants to do).
For the most part, what it basically boils down to is "less is more". Just make sure that if you go with a protective style that you read "This Is How To Know Your Protective Style Ain't Workin'" beforehand. There's no point in rockin' one if it's ultimately gonna damage your natural hair in the process.
12. Enjoy Wearing Your Hair Out More
A woman by the name of Jessica Harrelson once said, "Spring adds new life and new beauty to all that is." I definitely believe that there is a lot of truth to this. So, let this be the season when you fully embrace your hair's texture and, even if it's just on the weekends, that you enjoy wearing it out more. After all, your hair is your crown, right? Let the sun kiss it. Take some pictures outdoors. Let everyone see how gorgeous your curls truly are. Allow your tresses to…fully bloom!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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