Non-essential businesses have closed temporarily, and some permanently, all over the world with over 90% of people mandated to self-isolate under shelter-in-place orders. I wish I would have been in the room to vote on what is essential because my hair stylist and nail artist are the most essential people in my life. As a hair-illiterate beauty enthusiast, I will admit that I might miss my stylist more than I miss my mother.
If nothing else, the quarantine life is teaching many of us how to do things that we usually depend on others to make happen. One of those things is doing our hair. Our hair is not only important for aesthetics but we need to ensure it is healthy so we come out of this thing with plentiful edges. For some people, hair color is a major worry because their hair colorist is out of commission. That's why we hooked up with Master Cosmetologist and Salon Owner of the Atlanta-based Salon N-V-Me, Destiny Kelly, to help us come up with some feasible tips that will help you keep your hair color popping amid the era of self-isolation.
Be it covering grays, coloring your entire head or products you need to order ASAP, we've got you covered!
How to Color Your Home at Home:
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Coloring your entire head can be a tricky task, so Kelly provided some suggested tips to help get you through:
- "You want to start by selecting the color of your liking and reading the instructions thoroughly. I do suggest that if you are not using box color, to not use a developer greater than 30, to mitigate the possibility of overprocessing your hair.
- "Then, you will begin by mixing all of the coloring agents into a nozzle squeeze bottle and sectioning your hair into four quadrants for effortless application. If you have virgin hair (unprocessed or natural) you will apply the color to the shaft (ends) of the hair with the roots being last.
- "Please keep in mind that if you have previously colored your hair black or brown, but would like to achieve a lighter tone, you will need to extract the previous color first or wait to see a professional. We don't want to damage the hair. But if you are achieving to just touch up your roots, place the desired color only on the new growth throughout your hair without overlapping the previous color.
- "If you're attempting to obtain a darker tone, place the color on the roots first and then proceed to the shaft. Once colored, read instructions carefully to identify the recommended processing time.
- "After processing, use a neutralizing shampoo followed by a moisture shampoo and deep conditioner. Within two weeks of coloring your hair, it is suggested to apply a protein treatment to restrengthen your hair."
Products to Try:
How to Cover Your Grays at Home:
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When covering your grays, it can be very challenging. However, giving yourself a root touch-up is definitely something you can accomplish within your own home. Below, Kelly offers tips and tricks on how to cover your grays like an expert:
- "To begin covering your grays, you want to start with a gray coverage color, whether it's a semi-permanent or permanent. If you're coloring your gray strands with a darker tone, black or brown, please be sure to check the base colors of that product. The base color will determine what color your hair will turn. You always want to avoid utilizing any products that have a green base, preferably one with a red or purple.
- "Now keep in mind if your hair has previously been colored, you should only touch up your roots to ensure not to over-process if you're using a permanent color. With virgin hair, the color can be placed all over; the roots and the shaft. You want to start by reading the directions carefully before beginning to color.
- "You then want to begin mixing all coloring contents in the provided nozzle squeeze bottle. If one is not provided, an applicator brush and bowl will do the trick as well. For ease, part your hair in four sections and apply the color section by section.
- "To achieve the best results, I would recommend sitting under the dryer unless indicated otherwise within the instructions for the proposed duration. Once the suggested time has elapsed, shampoo twice following with a deep condition for 15 minutes, then style as desired."
Product to Try:
How to Maintain Blonde Hair at Home:
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"For starters, please know that you want to take the proper precautions when you are maintaining blonde hair, as it can be very fragile and easy to damage," Kelly began. "The trick to keeping your blonde vibrant is using a purple-tinted shampoo such as 'Shimmering Lights' or 'Blonde Brilliance'. These shampoos will eliminate the effect of a copper or brass-like tone being added to the blonde."
- "After you have completed utilizing your initial neutralizing shampoo, immediately follow-up with a moisturizing shampoo, followed by a deep conditioner to aid in rejuvenating the hair.
- "Upon completion, make sure to seal your hair with an oil of your choice, then style as desired.
- "Always make sure to tie your hair up at night or while sleeping by using a silk or satin scarf and or pillowcase."
Products to Try:
Advice on What to Avoid When Caring for Color-Treated Hair:
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"Please keep in mind that we always want to refrain from putting constant tension on the hair which can typically be caused by certain hairstyles, ponytails, sulfate products, and even as simple as cotton pillows," Kelly explained. "Remember less is best, just allow your hair to breathe."
Product Recommendations for Maintaining Color-Treated Hair at Home:
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"Below, I have included a few of my favorite products and recommendations for the ultimate results that can be found at your local beauty supply store or online."
- Sulfate-Free Shampoos:Keracare Hydrating Detangling Shampoo and Conditioner or Design Essentials Almond and Avocado Moisturizing Shampoo and Conditioner.
- Deep Conditioner: TGIN Honey Miracle Mask
- Oil:Design Essentials Botanical Oil or Virgin Olive Oil
- Leave-In Conditioner & Heat Protectant:It's a 10 Leave-In
- Curly Products:Talia Waajid Green Apple & Aloe Curl Elixir, Design Essentials Curl Forming Custard, and Eco-Style Gold Styling Gel.
Featured Image Courtesy of Destiny Kelly
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Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
