These Bad Habits Are Totally Wasting Your Time
Last year, I checked out a feature that Complex did on actor and artist Mack Wilds. It all centered around effective time management and how Mack is able to accomplish so much in the same 24-hour time frame that we all have. The entire article was good. Two things stood out the most: how he has been exchanging social media use for reading and how he defines time:
"The best thing about time that a lot of people don't realize... and I'm giving you guys a little secret... The best thing about time is that it's man-made. We all get caught up in, 'Oh, wait, I got to get this done now. I have to hurry up. I got to get this done, because I am this old and I am going to die, this and whatever.' Time is man-made, you do what you have to do, in whatever time that you have to do it, and you'll get it done."
His view of time reminded me of something that a man told me on my first trip to South Africa several years ago. "You Americans are slaves to your clock. You can be in the middle of a great conversation or you can be having an awesome time, look at your watch and suddenly your attitude totally changes. Now you're all agitated and in a rush. You should control time and not let it control you." Amen.
Today, we will address things that you are doing that are a waste of your sweet and precious time---things that are actually causing you to lose control of your minutes, hours, and ultimately, your days. You will learn how to make the most of your life by improving the quality of it.
Let it sink in that it's never really about not having enough time. It's all about prioritizing, starting with getting serious about altering the habits that are wasting your time.
TIME WASTER #1: Not Making Daily To-Do Lists (and Following Them)
If you're someone who doesn't create to-do lists because, in your mind, that's what "obsessive types" do, humor me while I share a few reasons why it could make your life so much easier. To-do lists are proven to help us stay focused, keep us organized, prioritize our tasks and make the most of our time. I personally think that to-do lists should be categorized into things that need to be done immediately and things that need to be done before the week ends. If you do the hardest (or the things you like the least) first, checking everything else off will be a breeze. Not only that, but knowing that you completed your list come Friday will give you a huge sense of accomplishment. To-do lists are one of the best ways to ensure that you are making the absolute most of your time. No question.
TIME WASTER #2: Not Using Traffic Apps
Guess how much time we spend in traffic? According to one report, a whopping 54 hours a year. Sure, you could catch up on some audio books or podcasts during that time, but if you want to reclaim some of your traffic hours, do that by downloading some traffic apps. Waze is a popular app that offers info on traffic, construction and even where police are in your area. Traffic Spotter gives up-to-date traffic reports. INRIX Traffic Maps & GPS hips you to road conditions, drive times and even parking options. These maps work brilliantly for iOS systems. HERE WeGo makes it easier for you to locate the faster and shorter routes. These are just some of the options that can at least save you 15 to 20 minutes, one-way, every time you get in your car.
TIME WASTER #3: Constantly Emailing People at Work
Did you know that 23 percent of most people's work day is used to either create or reply to emails? Since it is a common form of communication, it's pretty unrealistic for me to say to ignore emailing completely. But, if you do want to save a little time, I've got a few hacks for you. First, set aside three times per day when you check emails (like when you first get into work, right before your lunch break, and a few moments before heading home). If you put labels on your emails, that can help you to put everything into categories so that you can know what requires a time-sensitive response and what can wait until later. If you find yourself sending the same response over and over again, create a "canned response" so that you can save the template and change the name (and a few minor details) instead of typing out the same email over and over again.
Make sure your email signature includes all of your relevant contact information (you'd be amazed how much time is wasted by not doing this). If you tend to do a lot of emailing via your smartphone, consider downloading an app like The Bat for encryption and security purposes, Front if you're trying to communicate with a team all at once, or Postbox if you want to use personalized templates. Also, turn off all of your social media notifications as you're working. Whatever emails you get from people on Instagram or Twitter can wait until you are actually off of the clock.
TIME WASTER #4: Eating Fast Food During Your Lunch Break
Not only is bringing your own lunch to work healthier and cheaper, it can also save you quite a bit of time. Think about it. If your lunch break is an hour, just leaving your office and getting into your car is probably going to take about 15 minutes. Then, depending on the time that you go, the traffic, and the crowds, you'll barely have time to eat.
Why not enjoy most of your lunch hour by having your meal in tow and then eating in the break room, outside, or even in your car? That way, you don't have to scarf down your food. You can have at least 30 minutes to eat your meal in peace.
TIME WASTER #5: Literally Living Online
A couple of years ago, a survey revealed that folks spend at least five hours a week on their cell phones, doing things that are not work-related. That ultimately costs businesses $15 billion dollars a year. I already know some of y'all are like, "And?" If you consider the revelations shared in "8 Solid Reasons To Put. Your Phone. Down," you might see why living online (and constantly straining your eyes via your smartphone's screen) can do a real number on not only your productivity but your health overall.
A few days ago, I caught up with a friend who said that, over Thanksgiving, she had a "no cell phone" rule in her home. While the teens were irritated at first, she said, by the end of the day, they told her how much fun that they had. The Internet is not the devil, but it's not the end all be all of life, either. If you process how many hours you spend browsing social sites, reading gossip blogs, and surfing the Web, you might be floored by all the grocery shopping, cleaning up, bonding with friends, pampering and planning for your future you could've been doing instead.
David Foster Wallace, a writer and professor, once said, "It is named the 'Web' for good reason." Think about that every time you procrastinate by using your phone, or read articles like "Self-Care For Idris Elba Means Cutting Back On Social Media" and brush it off. Every moment is one that you'll never get back. Constantly wasting yours by being "plugged in" all the time is a shame; especially since all that stuff will be waiting for you once you actually live your life and come back to it.
TIME WASTER #6: Remaining in Counterproductive Relationships
I write about relationships…a lot. And if there's one word that I think is my favorite in reference to red flag relationships, it would have to be "counterproductive". Our time, energy, and resources—hell, our feelings---are far too precious and valuable to be out here chasing down or even tolerating counterproductive relationships, whether they are professional or personal ones. I would think that just about all of us can agree with that fact, yet I'm also willing to bet a pretty good amount of money that at least 80 percent of us are currently involved in one.
Why are we wasting our assets this way? I think a big part of the reason is because we don't really take the time to let the definition of counterproductive sink in. When something or someone is counterproductive in our lives, it means that it is (or they are) "thwarting the achievement of an intended goal". You know what this means, right? In order for you to remove counterproductive relationships from your space, you need to figure out what the goal for your relationships are. If the goal is to become a better individual, you need to remove those from your life who are counterproductive in helping you to achieve that mission.
I can't tell you how many times that I've allowed someone to remain in my life well past their shelf life, all because I tolerated how much time we've known each other or allowed what they needed to supersede what I knew was best for me. Everything in your life should have a clear purpose. If you're involved with someone, on any level, and you can't attach a purpose to them—yes, my friend, on some level, they are wasting your time.
TIME WASTER #7: Always Needing to Have the Last Word
Recently, I watched the cutest movie calledChristmas Belles about two cousins who fall for the new pastor at their church. There's a scene where the cousins try and "check each other" by attempting to have the last word. These two chicks said "Me too" back and forth nine times (yes, I counted) in response to the pastor asking if they were going to come to Bible study. It was so awkward that it was both humorous and ridiculous. It also made me think that I must look just like them when I'm in a heated discussion with someone and I want to get the last word. But for what? At the end of the day, it's a control tactic that is a waste of precious time and energy. These days, I'm more interested in my words being impactful whether I'm the last one to say something or not. And you know what? Life is a lot more peaceful this way.
TIME WASTER #8: Being Indecisive
Not too long ago, I wrote an article for xoNecole entitled "Here's How To Stop Worrying So Freakin' Much". Two things worrying does that results in wasting all kinds of time are overthinking and indecisiveness. When you don't make decisions, you end up being stagnate. Stagnation is a form of being stuck and who ever benefits from that? So why do so many of us find ourselves in this kind of trap?
I think it's because sometimes we'd rather allow things to happen to us via our stagnation rather than taking the risk of stepping out, making some real (and sometimes even hard) choices that we'll actually have to take some accountability for. It's like we'd rather take the cowardly approach to our own lives. But if you're so intimidated by what could be that you never develop the courage to take risks, try new things or step out on faith, how can you learn more about yourself and what you want? How can you ever really grow?
The Latin writer Publilius Syrus once said, "Through indecision opportunity is often lost." Pastor John Ortberg once said, "Greatness is never achieved through indecision." Bernhard Langer, a German professional golfer, once said, "Be decisive. A wrong decision is generally less disastrous than indecision." And get this—a motivational speaker and author Brian Tracy once said, "Indecision is a major time waster; 80% of decisions should be made the first time they come up." Worrying and overthinking don't help you to make wise choices. Doing so only encourages you to make decisions more complicated than they need to be.
Your time is too valuable to be hanging around in the valley of indecision.
If you struggle with making choices, check out "Need To Make A Big Decision Quickly? Do This". Then move. The sooner you make a decision, the sooner you can make progress as well. On the flip side, if you stay stuck in indecision, all you'll be doing is wasting time you can never get back.
TIME WASTER #9: Complaining
Complaining is a colossal waste of time. Spiritual teacher and author Eckhart Tolle has a quote that explains a big part of the reason why: "When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness." Another quote that I like in reference to complaining is by a wise person who once said, "Stay away from 'still' people. Still broke, still complaining, still hating, and still nowhere." When you put these two quotes together, it's a reminder that constantly verbalizing how dissatisfied you are about something—or someone—perpetuates a victim mentality. In other words, it keeps you focused on the problem rather than inspired to find a solution (which is why living on social media can be quite the trap if you're not careful).
Does this mean that you shouldn't feel free to vent about things that frustrate or even simply annoy you? Of course, you should. Just try to find a productive way to do it. Allow yourself a certain amount of time for venting, then be intentional about putting a plan into place. Or, if you don't know how to go about putting a plan together, do what another one of my favorite quotes on complaining instructs: Complain to someone who can help you."
TIME WASTER #10: Doubting Yourself
Let's end this with a quote by another author, Jaachynma N.E. Agu: "Don't set your goals by what other people deem important." Many people do not go after the things that they want in life all because they are consumed by what other people think. I personally think it's an epidemic. Part of what holds folks back is that they esteem others more than themselves. In other words, they doubt themselves and this too is a big waste of time.
How do you know if you are a self-doubter? Do you underestimate your gifts and talents? Do you second-guess your dreams and goals? Do you need to run everything by a billion people before making a decision? Do you compare yourself to others a lot? Do you think that an idea is dumb if there is no blueprint in place for you to follow? Do you feel like your worth is only based on how others treat you?
There are so many things I would not have accomplished had I listened to certain family members and friends. Thankfully, I didn't waste my time doubting myself, and I didn't determine that something was important—or not—based on the opinion of others. Your time is your time. Don't waste it by obsessing about what others think is best. Get out here and make your own life happen. It's the best way to show how much you value the time you have---time that is ticking away as we speak. So, what are you gonna do with it, sis?
Featured image by Shutterstock
Article originally published on December 30, 2019.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
The Reality Of Living With Severe Asthma – As Told by 2 Women On Their Disease Journey
This post is in partnership with Amgen.
The seemingly simple task of taking a breath is something most of us don’t think twice about. But for people who live with severe asthma, breathing does not always come easily. Asthma, a chronic respiratory condition that inflames and narrows the airways in the lungs, affects millions of people worldwide – 5-10% of which live with severe asthma. Severe asthma is a chronic and lifelong condition that is unpredictable and can be difficult to manage. Though often invisible to the rest of the world, severe asthma is a not-so-silent companion for those who live with it, often interrupting schedules and impacting day-to-day life.
Among the many individuals who battle severe asthma, Black women face a unique set of challenges. It's not uncommon for us to go years without a proper diagnosis, and finding the right treatment often requires some trial and error. Thankfully, all hope is not lost for those who may be fighting to get their severe asthma under control. We spoke with Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq. and Jania Watson, two inspiring Black women who have been living with severe asthma and have found strength, resilience, and a sense of purpose in their journeys.
Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq.
Juanita Ingram has a resume that would make anyone’s jaw drop. On top of being recently crowned Mrs. Universe, she’s also an accomplished attorney, filmmaker, and philanthropist. From the outside, it seems there’s nothing this talented woman won’t try, and likely succeed at. In her everyday life, however, Juanita exercises a lot more caution. From a young age, Juanita has struggled with severe asthma. Her symptoms were always exacerbated by common illnesses like a cold or flu. “I've heard these stories of my breathing struggles, but I remember distinctly when I was younger not being able to breathe every time I got a virus,” says Ingram. “I remember missing a lot of school and crying a lot because asthma is painful. I [was taken] to see my doctor often if I got sick with anything so I was hypervigilant as a child, and I still am.”
Today, Juanita says her symptoms are best managed when she’s working closely with her care team, avoiding getting sick and staying ahead of any symptoms. Ingram said she’s been blessed with skilled doctors who are just as vigilant of her symptoms as she is. While competing in the Mrs. Universe competition, Juanita took extra care to stay clear of other competitors to ensure she didn’t catch a cold or virus that would trigger her severe asthma. “I would stand off to the side and sometimes that could be taken as ‘oh, she thinks she's better than everybody else.’ But if I get sick during a pageant, I'm done. I had to compete with that in mind because my sickness doesn't look like everybody else's sickness.”
Even when her symptoms are under control, living with severe asthma still presents challenges. Juanita relies on her strong support system to overcome the hurdles caused by a lack of understanding from the public, “I think that there's a lot of lack of awareness about how serious severe asthma is. I would [also] tell women to advocate and to trust their intuition and not to allow someone to dismiss what you're experiencing.”
Jania Watson
Jania, a content creator from Atlanta, Georgia, has been living with severe asthma for many years. Thanks to early testing by asthma specialists, Jania was diagnosed with severe asthma as a child after experiencing frequent flare-ups and challenges in her day-to-day life. “I specifically remember, I was starting school, and we were moving into a new house. One of the triggers for me and my younger sister at the time were certain types of carpets. We had just moved into this new house and within weeks of us being there, my parents literally had to pay for all new carpet in the house.”
As Jania grew older, she was suffering from fewer flare-ups and thought her asthma was well under control. However, a trip back to her doctor during high school revealed that her severe asthma was affecting her more than she realized. “That was the first time in a long time I had to do a breathing test,” she describes. “The doctor had me take a deep breath in and blow into a machine to test my breathing. They told me to blow as hard as I could. And I was doing it. I was giving everything I got. [My dad and the doctor] were looking at me like ‘girl, stop playing.’ And at that point [it confirmed] I still have severe asthma because I've given it all I got. It doesn't really go away, but I just learned how to help manage it better.”
Jania recognizes that people who aren’t living with asthma, may not understand the disease and mistake it for something less serious. Or there could be others who think their symptoms are minor, and not worth bringing up. So, for Jania, communicating with others about her diagnosis is key. “Having severe asthma [flare-ups] in some cases looks very similar to being out of shape,” she said. “But this is a chronic illness that I was born with. This is just something that I live with that I've been dealing with. And I think it's important for people to know because that determines the next steps. [They might ask] ‘Do you need a bottle of water, or do you need an inhaler? Do you need to take a break, or do we need to take you to the hospital?’ So, I think letting the people around you know what's going on, just in case anything were to happen plays a lot into it as well.”
Like Juanita, Jania’s journey has been marked by ups and downs, but she remains an unwavering advocate for asthma awareness and support within the Black community. She hopes that her story can be an inspiration to other women with asthma who may not yet have their symptoms under control. “There's still life to be lived outside of having severe asthma. It is always going to be there, but it's not meant to stop you from living your life. That’s why learning how to manage it and also having that support system around you, is so important.”
By sharing their journeys, Juanita and Jania hope to encourage others to embrace their conditions, obtain a proper management plan from a doctor or asthma specialist like a pulmonologist or allergist, and contribute to the improvement of asthma awareness and support, not only within the Black community, but for all individuals living with severe asthma.
Read more stories from others like Juanita and Jania on Amgen.com, or visit Uncontrolled Asthma In Black Women | BREAK THE CYCLE to find support and resources.
Not too long ago, someone asked me why I write about sex so much. The simple answer is I think it’s a part of my purpose, and since I believe that, I don’t question it much. Sex is something that I find to be special, sacred, wonderful, profound, incomparable, and very necessary — all of those things, not just a few. And since studying it, researching it, writing about it, and talking about it all come so naturally to me, I’m pretty sure it’s what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life, in some capacity. Because when something is so wonderful as sex, why wouldn’t you want to “share the wealth” on the things that you come to learn?
Take orgasms, for example. If there’s one thing that I want every single human to experience, more than just once, in this lifetime, it’s that. Because if there’s one thing that will blow your mind, in a way that nothing else ever can or will, it’s climaxing — especially when you’re doing it with someone who you truly care about. And that’s why, I make it my mission to learn as much as I can about the, what many would consider, pinnacle of the sexual experience.
And since there are so many different types of orgasms to choose from, I want to make you aware of one that you may not have heard of before: the hands-free orgasm. While it might sound impossible to achieve, I’m thinking in a few moments, you’ll totally get why it’s absolutely not.
The Connection Between Your Brain and Sexual Pleasure
No matter how much you might read about the role of genitalia as it directly relates to sex, there is no way around the fact that your largest sex organ is actually your brain. There is data for days about it. Okay, but even if you already knew that, have you ever stopped to consider why that is indeed the case?
For starters, the most profound and relevant sex hormones and chemicals — ones like amphetamines, dopamine, and norepinephrine (as well as several others)— are produced in your brain. Another reason is that what you think about your sex partner and how you feel about what you think, these two things also play a pivotal role in sexual attraction and levels of sexual pleasure — and this includes things like how emotionally connected you feel, how well the two of you communicate (check out “Are You A Good Sexual Communicator? You Sure?”), if you feel safe in each other’s presence and if the two of you are committed to meeting each other’s needs, both inside and outside of the bedroom.
In fact, this is a big part of what separates humans from other mammals when it comes to how we process sex; it’s not just instinctive…there are mental and emotional factors that heavily come into play, too.
Now put a pin in that, and let’s keep building on this thing.
How To Have an Orgasm: The Four Stages of Orgasm
GiphyA few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “How Can You Know For Sure That You've Had An Orgasm?.” The reason why is that, since so few women have vaginal orgasms (which are not to be mistaken for clitoral ones, by the way), I thought it was important for women to know what it feels like (as best as I can describe it in print) what climaxing actually feels like. That being said, in order to lay down some more foundation for this whole “hands-free orgasm” thing, let’s briefly touch on what an orgasm is.
Although sex experts tend to disagree on whether there are four or five stages in an orgasm, for the sake of time and space, let’s go with four:
Excitement: this is when your muscles tense up, your heart races, natural lubrication transpires, your nipples become erect, and blood flows down to your genital region
Plateau: this is when muscle tension increases, your heart rate and breathing intensify, your clitoris literally retracts, you become wetter, and muscle spasms begin
Orgasm: this is when your heart rate and blood pressure are at their peak, muscles within your body begin to contract (including your vagina), a flow of lubrication comes forth, there’s a lot of sexual tension, and typically your partner ejaculates
Resolution: this is when everything in your body starts to slow down, you feel release and satisfaction and oftentimes fatigue (by the way, it’s science that causes men to feel sleepy at this point; it’s due to oxytocin and vasopressin being released which increases the production of melatonin)
From a strictly physical standpoint, this is what goes down whenever you have an orgasm — whether alone or with someone else. It’s important to keep all of this in mind as we transition into what a hands-free orgasm is all about.
The Hands-Free Orgasm: How To Climax Without Touch
As you can see from this subject heading, there is technically more than one kind of a hands-free orgasm: one is the literal kind, and the other falls under more of a technicality. I’ll get into what I mean by the second one in just a moment.
Okay, so the first type of hands-free orgasm is rooted in tantric sex. A few years ago, another writer for the platform penned, “Elevate Your Pleasure With The Transformative Power Of Tantric Sex” which can help you to gain a bit more clarity about it all. For now, I’ll just say that the word “tantra” is a Sanskrit one that means “to weave.” At the end of the day, tantra is all about interweaving yourself, sexually, with another individual, so that you both can have an elevated sexual experience — one that goes beyond simply…cumming.
Since a huge part of tantra is about breathing deeply and being in a meditative state (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) in order to make all of that happen, tantra is a reminder that your mind and spirit play a pivotal role in sex — not just your body.
And so, it is the belief that if you get really still, stay very present, and follow certain deep breathing exercises while being in a meditative state that focuses either on your sexual fantasies or your partner, it can cause you to, at the very least, have a deep tingling sensation all throughout your body (similar to what edging feels like) or that you will have an orgasm altogether (maybe not the first time you try this technique out but eventually).
And just what kind of breathing can make that happen? LOL. Actually, if you put “breath work for sex” into your favorite search engine, you’ll find quite a few articles on the topic. One that I found to be very helpful is on Lionness’s site; it’s entitled, “The Art of Breathing: Using Breathing Exercises For Better Sex.”
And so, since you don’t need someone else’s help to breathe or meditate, I’m sure you get how you can totally make all of this happen on your own. All you need is to create a romantic and extremely comfortable atmosphere, maybe put on some sexy music, add a scent that will tap into your sexual stimulation side as you’re inhaling and exhaling (like vanilla, jasmine, cinnamon, lavender, rose, or patchouli), get into a position where you can comfortably rock your hips and — get to breathing, chile. Deep. Calculated. Rhythmic breathing.
If you do all of this and pay close attention to how your body responds, you will probably notice that you are literally shifting into one or even all phases of an orgasm — without a single touch (hey, try it before you doubt it!).
How To Have a Hands-Free Orgasm With Touch
GiphyRemember how I said that another type of hands-free orgasm is a technicality? What I meant by that is, technically, if you achieve an orgasm without using your hands — or someone else’s — you just had a hands-free orgasm. This means that a sex toy can give you a hands-free orgasm. Your partner’s mouth can give you a hands-free orgasm. Hell, dry humping can give you a hands-free orgasm. Because, so long as you are sexually stimulated without the assistance of your hands or someone else’s and you then climaxed as a direct result, you just had one.
Clearly, this type of hands-free orgasm isn’t nearly as impressive as the other one that we just discussed. Still, it does deserve a bit of a shout-out because if you’re trying to master orgasms or find different ways to stimulate your partner, as they learn more about how to stimulate you in return, bringing hands-free orgasms into the mix can help you to achieve both missions.
Also, when it comes to this particular spin on the hands-free orgasm, it’s a reminder that you don’t have to always resort to the obvious (like fingering, for example) to “get the job done.”
Find other ways to stimulate erogenous zones, participate in foreplay that is a bit “off-script” (check out “Mental Foreplay Hacks That Ultimately Takes Intercourse To New Levels”), and get each other off without immediately relying on hands to make it happen — it all can introduce you to a new world of sexual pleasure if you’re open to giving it a shot.
Finally, Here Are the Benefits of Mastering Both Techniques
Beyond sheer intrigue, you might wonder why you would want to attempt one or both types of hands-free orgasms when “the old-fashioned way” has been working just fine. Okay, let’s take water play, for example. If you or your partner use a portable or detachable shower head in order to stimulate you (because again, that wouldn’t be using any hands), aside from the experience being pretty erotic all on its own, it can teach you and/or your partner different things about how your body responds to certain temperatures, types of stimuli, different amount of pressure, etc. Without the automatic go-to of hands, you/they are forced to hone in on you in a way that requires a deeper amount of intention and concentration — and that’s always a good thing.
Another form of a hands-free orgasm is the sensation that you might feel while doing kegels. Tightening up your pelvic walls can definitely sexually arouse you (especially if you’re fantasizing at the time). And girrrl, learning how to “grip him” during penetrative sex because you’ve mastered how to control your muscles down below. That’s an orgasm like no other and also qualifies as a hands-free orgasm!
At the end of the day, like pretty much any other orgasm that there is (and there are several), a hands-free orgasm is all about learning more about you and your partner and applying what you’ve learned in order to enhance your sexual encounters with one another.
And if you’re able to get to the point where you can do that, hell, not just without the use of your hands but any type of touch at all? You’ll be absolutely (sexually) unstoppable! (Pardon the pun)…hands down.
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