Going Back To School After 30? Here Are 5 Things To Consider
I never, in a million years, thought I'd ever go back to school. I attended Hampton University (the real HU) and after four years of college---and however many years in elementary, middle, and high schools--- I was through with being a student. Though I had a wonderful undergraduate experience full of fun, exploration, and growth, I couldn't wait to get my adult on and start earning money at a full-time job.
After graduating from college, I knew a master's degree just wasn't needed. My mentor, a journalist and editor who worked for The New York Times, had a long, successful career and accomplished great things through grit and experience. Many of the journalists I admired did not have master's degrees, and I never had an issue getting jobs with just a bachelor's degree. I always thought that pursuing an advanced degree was something that only benefited those interested in teaching or becoming a C-suite executive.
Fast-forward about 15 years: I'm over 30, and I've worked for top publishing companies. I've launched a semi-successful consulting business. I've seen failure and halted the business. I've gone back into the workforce, traveled the world freelancing, and worked odd jobs in between. (Hey, no shame here. It's called taking risks and living life.)
After all of that, I hit a ceiling in terms of fulfillment, and I wondered what's next. I even lost my enthusiasm for journalism and found myself in a bit of mental rut. One day, I saw my sister---a savvy single mom and Navy veteran---and my mom---a 50-something pastor and government professional---finishing their final papers for their online graduate-degree programs. The light bulb in my head went crazy and the urge to follow in their footsteps kept me up at night. I knew then that I had to apply to a school. I did just that, got in, and boom, I became a student---again.
If you're considering going back to school after being in the workforce, taking a break for parenting, or surviving whatever life has thrown at you, be encouraged by these tips and go for it!
1.Recognize The Salary And Promotions Benefits
Going back to school led me to revisit the stats on graduate degrees and career advancement. Statistics show that getting an advanced degree in fields including business, technology and healthcare can lead to a increase in salary to the tune of more than $23,000, according to the National Association of Colleges and Employers. Also, after doing a bit more research (ie stalking a few LinkedIn pages of top media professionals), I noticed that most of the them actually have advanced degrees and instead of starting as editorial assistants, they were already associate editors and managers.
Let's also think about this in a different way: Today, you're not limited to the traditional majors for a graduate degree. There are all sorts of programs that could benefit your career advancement. For example, you could pursue a master's degree in organizational leadership (MAOL) versus the MBA if that's more of a fit for your career plans. Try a master's degree in a related field or a program that includes courses that will give you specialized knowledge related to your industry. If you keep these things in mind, you'll remain motivated knowing the potential for return on your time and financial investment.
2.Get With The (Online) Program
With the advent of online options from accredited schools, as well as programs that cater to seasoned professionals, I really had no excuse not to pursue an advanced degree. In the past, online programs were considered nontraditional, and when you'd mention them, people would frown wondering about credibility and educational quality. Today, a third of all students take online courses, and even Ivy League schools---including Harvard and Columbia---offer online options. My program allows me to complete studies from anywhere in the world, and I set my own schedule. There are deadlines, of course, but it's not like when I was in undergrad, where you had a set time and day to go to class and were limited to that. I typically block out time to study and complete coursework just like I do for consulting, fitness, or a hair appointment. The key is to be super-mindful of how I spend my time and really commit certain hours of the day to learning and interacting with my professors and global community of classmates.
3.Find the Financial Aid Plug
I never really paid attention to the fact that jobs actually do offer education-related benefits. Companies including Walmart, PepsiCo and Bank of America offer tuition reimbursement. Ask your manager or HR professional about those education-related benefits that you may have ignored. Consider even applying for jobs at universities that offer tuition reimbursement, remission or employee discounts. Many universities have corporate partnerships with companies where they offer tuition discounts, so don't be afraid to ask around and do your research.
Scholarships aren't just for high school valedictorians. There are actually options for working adults returning to school to gain knowledge for fields or specialties that are in high demand such as cybersecurity. You may be eligible for scholarships based on your work experience, your volunteer activities, or your involvement in nonprofits or religious organizations. Utilize sites such as FastWeb.com or StudentAid.gov in your search, and tap into your network.
Pay out-of-pocket if you can. Schools offer payment plans where you can make payments throughout the semester. Find creative ways to finance your degree---from side hustles to downsizing in some areas of your spending. Trust me, the sacrifice for two to three years is worth it. If you take on a loan, only accept what you can afford to pay back and start your monthly payments while you're still in school. There's no shame in taking out a loan to reach your goals, but be sure you're taking on debt that you can manage and pay off.
4.Pace Yourself, Sis
You're not that teenaged, full-time college student with a weekly allowance and time on your hands just to study, party and travel. (Was that just me?) In going back to school, I underestimated the rigors of the program and took on several classes at one time in a rush to graduate in less than two years. Though my first semester was a great experience, it was a bit much in terms of combining my current freelance and consulting workload with schoolwork. If you have a busy schedule and are already balancing work and family life, maybe start with one or two courses per semester to get your feet wet.
Utilize some sort of calendar app, set alarms, and schedule your study time. If you're in an online program, this is especially important because it's easy to forget that an assignment is due or that you have to log in for a mandatory video lecture. Be kind to yourself in the college journey and know your limits based on your lifestyle and priorities. My life is mine to live, and sometimes, well, life happens. I've found that it's better to take time to do well than to have to re-take courses due to lack of focus and proper attention.
5.Tap Into Those Student Services
I love the student services my school offers--- everything from tutoring and writing labs to career and mental health counseling. These have been extremely helpful to me as a 30-something-year-old student. I must admit, I initially felt a bit awkward at my age going back to school, almost to the point of self-doubt and fear. I'm not that old but teens and 20-somethings today are doing some amazing things that I've never even thought to do. The scope of technology and its use is much more advanced than it was when I was in undergrad.
Knowing that I have student resources at my fingertips has helped me get over my insecurities.
It's awesome to be able to ask for help in navigating Blackboard or refreshing my APA paper-writing skills. It's also great to be able to just learn from others in a way I hadn't been able to in years. The whole experience has also reminded me that just like a teen or 20-something is new to college and knows all about what's trending today, I have the maturity and life experience on my side, so my perspective and contribution is respected and valued. Take advantage of services---many of which are typically included in your tuition cost---that will help you transition into student life and find balance.
Above all else, the invaluable benefits of going back to school mean the most to me. I now have a new sense of discipline and accomplishment that has boosted my self-esteem. My re-entry into higher education has also awakened the competitive geek in me who used to fight for an A and loved to talk topics with other very smart people. For me, going back to school also offers new possibilities for becoming a better leader and thinker, and that's worth more than money can buy.
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The Reality Of Living With Severe Asthma – As Told by 2 Women On Their Disease Journey
This post is in partnership with Amgen.
The seemingly simple task of taking a breath is something most of us don’t think twice about. But for people who live with severe asthma, breathing does not always come easily. Asthma, a chronic respiratory condition that inflames and narrows the airways in the lungs, affects millions of people worldwide – 5-10% of which live with severe asthma. Severe asthma is a chronic and lifelong condition that is unpredictable and can be difficult to manage. Though often invisible to the rest of the world, severe asthma is a not-so-silent companion for those who live with it, often interrupting schedules and impacting day-to-day life.
Among the many individuals who battle severe asthma, Black women face a unique set of challenges. It's not uncommon for us to go years without a proper diagnosis, and finding the right treatment often requires some trial and error. Thankfully, all hope is not lost for those who may be fighting to get their severe asthma under control. We spoke with Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq. and Jania Watson, two inspiring Black women who have been living with severe asthma and have found strength, resilience, and a sense of purpose in their journeys.
Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq.
Juanita Ingram has a resume that would make anyone’s jaw drop. On top of being recently crowned Mrs. Universe, she’s also an accomplished attorney, filmmaker, and philanthropist. From the outside, it seems there’s nothing this talented woman won’t try, and likely succeed at. In her everyday life, however, Juanita exercises a lot more caution. From a young age, Juanita has struggled with severe asthma. Her symptoms were always exacerbated by common illnesses like a cold or flu. “I've heard these stories of my breathing struggles, but I remember distinctly when I was younger not being able to breathe every time I got a virus,” says Ingram. “I remember missing a lot of school and crying a lot because asthma is painful. I [was taken] to see my doctor often if I got sick with anything so I was hypervigilant as a child, and I still am.”
Today, Juanita says her symptoms are best managed when she’s working closely with her care team, avoiding getting sick and staying ahead of any symptoms. Ingram said she’s been blessed with skilled doctors who are just as vigilant of her symptoms as she is. While competing in the Mrs. Universe competition, Juanita took extra care to stay clear of other competitors to ensure she didn’t catch a cold or virus that would trigger her severe asthma. “I would stand off to the side and sometimes that could be taken as ‘oh, she thinks she's better than everybody else.’ But if I get sick during a pageant, I'm done. I had to compete with that in mind because my sickness doesn't look like everybody else's sickness.”
Even when her symptoms are under control, living with severe asthma still presents challenges. Juanita relies on her strong support system to overcome the hurdles caused by a lack of understanding from the public, “I think that there's a lot of lack of awareness about how serious severe asthma is. I would [also] tell women to advocate and to trust their intuition and not to allow someone to dismiss what you're experiencing.”
Jania Watson
Jania, a content creator from Atlanta, Georgia, has been living with severe asthma for many years. Thanks to early testing by asthma specialists, Jania was diagnosed with severe asthma as a child after experiencing frequent flare-ups and challenges in her day-to-day life. “I specifically remember, I was starting school, and we were moving into a new house. One of the triggers for me and my younger sister at the time were certain types of carpets. We had just moved into this new house and within weeks of us being there, my parents literally had to pay for all new carpet in the house.”
As Jania grew older, she was suffering from fewer flare-ups and thought her asthma was well under control. However, a trip back to her doctor during high school revealed that her severe asthma was affecting her more than she realized. “That was the first time in a long time I had to do a breathing test,” she describes. “The doctor had me take a deep breath in and blow into a machine to test my breathing. They told me to blow as hard as I could. And I was doing it. I was giving everything I got. [My dad and the doctor] were looking at me like ‘girl, stop playing.’ And at that point [it confirmed] I still have severe asthma because I've given it all I got. It doesn't really go away, but I just learned how to help manage it better.”
Jania recognizes that people who aren’t living with asthma, may not understand the disease and mistake it for something less serious. Or there could be others who think their symptoms are minor, and not worth bringing up. So, for Jania, communicating with others about her diagnosis is key. “Having severe asthma [flare-ups] in some cases looks very similar to being out of shape,” she said. “But this is a chronic illness that I was born with. This is just something that I live with that I've been dealing with. And I think it's important for people to know because that determines the next steps. [They might ask] ‘Do you need a bottle of water, or do you need an inhaler? Do you need to take a break, or do we need to take you to the hospital?’ So, I think letting the people around you know what's going on, just in case anything were to happen plays a lot into it as well.”
Like Juanita, Jania’s journey has been marked by ups and downs, but she remains an unwavering advocate for asthma awareness and support within the Black community. She hopes that her story can be an inspiration to other women with asthma who may not yet have their symptoms under control. “There's still life to be lived outside of having severe asthma. It is always going to be there, but it's not meant to stop you from living your life. That’s why learning how to manage it and also having that support system around you, is so important.”
By sharing their journeys, Juanita and Jania hope to encourage others to embrace their conditions, obtain a proper management plan from a doctor or asthma specialist like a pulmonologist or allergist, and contribute to the improvement of asthma awareness and support, not only within the Black community, but for all individuals living with severe asthma.
Read more stories from others like Juanita and Jania on Amgen.com, or visit Uncontrolled Asthma In Black Women | BREAK THE CYCLE to find support and resources.
Although I’m personally not a holiday kind of gal, because I am all for people getting the most out of their sexual experiences, I do look forward to special occasions when I can pen pieces like this. Why? While so many people are stressing themselves completely out as they plan to celebrate the Christmas season, I like to recommend ways that they can incorporate this time of year with an activity that can bring their anxiety levels down and truly bring some peace and goodwill — to their own man.
That said, it really is crazy to take in that Christmas is just a few days away. However, while you’re out here hustlin’ and bustlin’ to get your last-minute items together, here are 15 things that you can do to make the nights leading into Christmas and, possibly the night of, one that will even give Black Santa a run for his money.
1. Text Him Your Sex Wish List
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Sometimes, wives will ask me for a subtle way to convey to their husbands that sex has fallen into a bit of a rut without bruising their ego (wise call). This time of the year is a perfect opportunity to get certain, umm, requests in because, since this is the season of giving, you can share some (new) desires that you have without it coming off like you’re complaining. So, why not put together your own sex wish list and share it with him? You can do it by sexting. After all, there are reports that say that sexting has the ability to boost your partner’s self-esteem and build trust with them as well. How can all of that not work in your favor this Christmas — and beyond?
2. Get Some Velvet Handcuffs
While some of y’all may have thought that bondage is no more than a fetish or kink, there are actually some proven benefits to participating on some level in this type of sexual activity. One in particular that I once read is it can cause “sensory deprivation,” and while, on the onset, that might seem like a bad thing, what that actually can do is cause your anticipation levels to spike, which can intensify your sexual experience overall.
And so, since velvet is winter’s “signature fabric,” why not cop (pun not intended) some velvet handcuffs while you’re doing your holiday shopping?
3. Invest in a Portable Fireplace and Faux Fur Rug
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Listen, Brian McKnight gets all sorts of side-eye from me these days (if ya know, ya know), yet we’d all be in some serious denial if, when the topic of top Christmas songs (especially in the Black community) comes up, “Let It Snow” (Boyz II Men featuring Brian McKnight) doesn’t almost immediately come to mind. In the visual, we get what I oftentimes think of when I reflect on the quintessential Christmas scene: a log cabin, a fireplace, and I’m pretty sure there’s a fur rug on the floor somewhere up in there. It’s romantic. It’s cozy. And it’s hella sensual.
And guess what? Even if you don’t have a fireplace, there are portable ones that you can purchase. There are compact ones (like this one here) or electric stoves that look like fireplaces (like this one here) that you can buy, or there are even little tabletop fire pits (like this one here) that are pretty adorable. As far as the rugs go, these days, they’ve got some faux fur ones that feel amazing and won’t break your budget. My suggestion would be to go to Amazon and put “faux fur rugs” in the search field; especially if you want to try and get one by Christmas.
4. Send Your Man a “Naughty” Christmas Card
You would think that with as attached to our phones that we are these days and with the rising costs of stamps (don’t get me to cussin’), the greeting card industry would be struggling. Nope. I actually recently read that a whopping one billion cards go out in this country alone on an annual basis. So, in order to help get your partner even more in the mood, why not send him a naughty rather than nice Christmas card? Etsy is my jam, and I recently saw a card on the site that had two ginger people on it with the message “taste my cookie” on it (you can cop it here). Or you can get damn near filthy and make one from scratch.
5. Light Some Clove-Scented Candles
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When it comes to scents that are associated with Christmas, cloves are definitely one of them. And guess what? They are also considered to be an aphrodisiac. Both the scent and consumption of them help to reduce stress, and, when you cook with them, they can help you to feel all warm ‘n fuzzy down below. And since candlelight not only creates a sensual atmosphere, it can also be ideal if you’re into wax play (you can read more about that here)…why not get some soy (they burn longer and cleaner) clove-scented candles? These alone will help to get you and your partner instantly in the mood.
6. Fill a Garter Stocking with Some Sexy Surprises
Hanging stockings from a fireplace or mantel is pretty common during Christmas. Well, since this is about sex-themed Christmas ideas, why not fill a sexy garter with little sexy surprises? Maybe some Santa Condom Pops. Some tiny truth-or-dare cards. A cock ring. Some sex position cards. A handwritten love/sex letter. A hotel room reservation for Christmas or New Year’s. Some sex dice. A nipple and clitoris chain (that you both can enjoy). A couple of sex tokens. A sexy scent.
The possibilities are truly endless.
7. Bake Some (Sex Position) Ginger Christmas Cookies
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It’s pretty common to see a gingerbread house, some ginger snaps, or some other ginger-based dessert during the holidays. Okay, but did you know that ginger is actually considered to be another solid aphrodisiac? I’m dead serious. Science says that it “triggers” a sexual stimuli in both men and women in a way that intensifies sexual arousal. Not only that, but it can increase blood flow to your genitalia as well as increase fertility (whew, chile!). And now that you see some bona fide reasons to make some ginger cookies, why not send a few hints by having your ginger cookie people participate in a few sex positions? Etsy has several merchants who sell Kama Sutra cookie cutters. A few of them can be found here, here and here.
8. Create Some “Naughty or Nice” Coupons
Has your man been naughty or nice this year? With any luck, he’s actually been a bit of both. If you want to reward him for balancing things so well, make him some naughty or nice coupons. The naughty ones can feature sexual things that he can “redeem” from you throughout the upcoming year, while the nice ones can feature things like taking him out to his favorite spot or cooking him his favorite meal on a random weeknight. If you need some help as far as how to literally design the coupons, The Dating Divas published an article entitled, “24 DIY Love Coupons for Him” that can point you in the right direction.
9. Hang Some Christmas-Themed LED Lights
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One of the best things about Christmas is driving around at night and looking at all of the pretty lights. Some that I saw online, that I found to be pretty stunning, were LED lights that were designed to mimic meteor showers (you can see and buy them here). And that gave me even more sexy Christmas inspiration. Whether you string some lights from your bed, you bring a mini Christmas tree into your bedroom, or you’ve got a tree out back that you can hang some lights from to look at during afterplay, hang some lights somewhere. They can be very sensual — plus, can it really feel like Christmas without ‘em?
10. Use Some Hot Chocolate Lubricant
nfortunately, a lot of the time, whenever the topic of lubrication comes up, people think that it’s only for women who may have trouble getting wet (or wetter) — and that couldn’t be further from the truth. That’s actually why I once wrote, “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant,” because there are all kinds of ways to incorporate it into your sexual plans. Not only does more lube create less friction (which means that you can go longer…both of you), the sensation of wetness is pretty damn erotic too.
And since I’d be floored if you went an entire holiday season without at least one cup of hot chocolate, in the spirit of how delicious hot chocolate is, why not invest in some hot chocolate-flavored lube? One place that I found some is located here.
11. How About Some Cannabis Chocolate Caramel Candy?
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What’s Christmas without candy, and what’s sex without weed? Okay, I know that might’ve been a bit of a wild segue, yet you really can combine Christmas, candy, and cannabis if you truly want to. For instance, there are sweet treats like Sensi Chew Amoré Chocolate Caramel Aphrodisiac that can help to get you and your partner totally right as far as getting (and staying) in the mood is concerned. And why would you even want to give this a shot? Because if anything can help to make you more uninhibited, it’s weed. If you don’t believe me, check out “7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better” and “Why Cannabis Lube Is The Best Thing To Get Yourself For V-Day” at your leisure.
12. Explore with Some Peppermint Frosting
A couple of years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”. One of the things that got a shout-out was frosting. It’s super sweet. It’s easier to clean up than, say, syrup or honey. And since you’ll probably have some frosting lying around anyway, why not bring some into your bedroom? And while we’re on the topic, why not, in the spirit of Christmas, have it be peppermint-flavored? While there are some mixed reviews on the consumption of mint being able to lower a man’s testosterone levels, adding a few drops of peppermint oil to some frosting isn’t going to cause any harm. If anything, the menthol sensation will make for him receiving fellatio a truly mind-blowing experience — umm, so I’ve heard. #wink
13. “Deck Your Halls” with Some Edible Glitter
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Glitter is something we see a lot around this time of year. With that being said, it’s almost impossible to imagine what life was like before YouTube. Lawd. And won’t it help you in a pinch when you want to learn something real quick? For instance, I was recently looking for how to make edible glitter (I forgot) and stumbled upon a channel called My Lockdown Rasoi. It featured a way to make edible glitter with just two ingredients (you can watch it here). If I’ve gotta explain this tip…I don’t know what to tell you, sis.
14. Swap Out Your Safe Word with a Jingle Bell
So, what if some of the things on that wish list of yours have you a little nervous when it comes time to actually execute them? I hear you. To keep along with the whole Christmas theme, instead of using a safe word over the next couple of weeks, why not get yourself a jingle bell instead?
It’s a festive way to slow things down and pretty easy to find at a local arts and crafts store during this time of the year.
15. Wear Some Mistletoe Around Your Waist
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Anyone who knows me knows that I am big on discovering the origin stories of things (which is why engagement ring pressure irks me to no end; you can read about it here). So, since mistletoe comes up, A LOT, during Christmastime, I definitely looked it up to see what all of the hype was about. Well, aside from the fact that it is actually a parasitic plant that provides nourishment to birds, butterflies, and various mammals, the reason why we hold the tradition of kissing underneath them is because, way back in the day, to Celtic Druids, they were a symbol of fertility while to Norse mythology, they were a symbol of peace and love. Also, apparently, a goddess by the name of Figg lost her son to an arrow that was made out of mistletoe, and so she declared that anyone who walked underneath mistletoe should kiss instead of using it as a weapon.
And since kissing is definitely what still holds true as far as mistletoe goes today, why stop at the mouth? Wear some mistletoe anywhere on your body where you want to be deeply kissed. Around this time of year, you should be able to find some at your local nursery or online at sites like Amazon. If you pin a piece of it to some sexy red lingerie or on your garter belt, how could your partner not get the hint? Talk about “and to all a good night”, chile. Enjoy, sis! ENJOY.
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