If you read our articles often, you know that we are huge advocates of mental health, taking those breaks, and championing our self-care habits. But the fact of the matter is, doing so is damn near impossible with the continuous access to the reality of inequality, the death of our brothers and sisters at the hands of so many variants, and blatant disregard from those who are put in positions to have our best interest at heart.
Add these elements on top of our personal life's challenges, and we can find ourselves in a place where we all suffer from a string of PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, just from being black. According to the American Psychiatric Association, PTSD is defined as:
"...a psychiatric disorder that can occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, war/combat, rape or other violent personal assault."
Basically, every time we turn on the television, or open our social media accounts, or even while having conversation with friends, we are adding a little brick to our mental barrier.
a katz / Shutterstock.com
But what if instead, we root for as many positive turnarounds as we can and find joy in someone else's triumphs (including your own)? Maybe this means hitting the pavement to march for a cause, or maybe this means organizing a community initiative. Maybe contacting your local legislators and taking them head-on.
Or maybe, you donate.
In comes GoFundMe, the country's most trusted free online fundraising and donation platform that eliminates a third party, securing funds directly to a cause. Some of the most amazing stories rest here, a world where people just hope for the best, and people can directly provide some help for those in need.
So, whether you can donate $1 or $1000, here's a list of a few captivating campaigns that could use some attention during these unsure, but enouraging times.
1.Urban School of Self-Defense
Beneficiary: Zahalea Anderson
Cause: Rebuild Zahalea Anderson's Urban School of Self-Defense.
Since the time Zahalea Anderson was inducted into the Martial Arts Masters Hall of Fame and built her "dojo" (a Japanese word for a place of learning or meditation), she has been working to build upon the popular martial arts training center.
Unfortunately, Anderson's business was caught in the cross-hairs of the Long Beach, CA riots, and her business was burned down on May 31st, the day protests erupted. Her martial arts school, which was located at 120 W. 7th St., had been closed since March due to COVID-19, but was scheduled to re-open the very day it was burned down.
And although she can no longer stay in its original location, Anderson plans to relocate somewhere even bigger and better.
2.Justice for Breonna Taylor
Beneficiary: Bianca Austin
Cause: Justice and support for Breonna Taylor's family, fight, and expenses because she still has no arrests made on her case.
Breonna Taylor was sleeping in her home when it was raided by three officers who barged in and shot her eight times.
Eight times. Eight times.
The officers were at the wrong home. She was killed immediately.
The backstory disgustingly gets worse, but the other real tragedy is that there has yet to be an arrest, or even a mere attempt at one, holding her killers accountable despite the internet's efforts to call for justice.
We will never give up on this one. Rest in peace, sweet girl.
3.Jessica Mahone Recovery Fund
Beneficiary: Debra Mahone
Cause: Support Jessica on her road to recovery.
On February 21, Jessica Mahone was driving with her son, Quest, when they were hit head-on by a drunk driver. Jessica suffered a spinal cord injury to her C-3, C-4 and C-5 vertebrae, which are part of the cervical spinal column that controls the central nervous system, which affects breathing, chest, arms and legs. Although it is miracle that Jessica is alive, she is paralyzed from her neck down.
BUT GOD.
She is now showing major progress, thanks to around-the-clock care, rehabbing, and the highly infectious spirit of her amazing mother, who hasn't left her side.
Jessica has a long road ahead, but we have no doubt that Jessica will conquer this whole-heartedly.
4.Brock's Family Home Fire
Beneficiary: The Brock Family, Shawnniece Brock
Cause: Help the Brock family find a new home and support their family.
During a time where we are suffering a pandemic, riots, and civil unrest, one thing that a family never hopes to deal with is an electrical fire taking everything they own.
Well, that's what happened to the Brock family of Birmingham, AL, when on June 4, they were awaken by screams and flames that engulfed their home and belongings.
The Brock Family is currently residing in a hotel until they can find new living arrangements. All proceeds are going towards continuing caring for their family's needs.
5.Bridgette Brantley's Call to Act-ivisim
Beneficiary: Bridgette Brantley
Cause: Bri Confronts Racism Across America
After she wasn't offered a teaching contract for the 2020-2021 school year, Bridgette Brantley decided to hit the streets and answer the call for activism instead. And with the current state of the country, Brantley is looking to visit five cities across the United States (Richmond, VA; Washington D.C.; Minneapolis, MN; Seattle, WA; and Houston, TX) to examine racism and its aftermath in America.
Her campaign surpassed its goal FIVE TIMES in less than a week, which clearly makes a statement that she is both good at what she does, and the people want to hear what she has to say.
A true passion project from a queen who could use all the support we could offer.
6.Marcus Books 60th Anniversary Fundraiser
Beneficiary: The Marcus Books Family
Cause: Support the oldest black-owned bookstore in America.
Marcus Books is the oldest independent Black-owned bookstore in the country.
Sixty years since its opening, the bookstore has become a literary and cultural hallmark, hosting an archive that is comprised of literary royalty and iconic authors such as Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, Angela Davis, Terry McMillan, Michael Eric Dyson, Iyanla Vanzant, Nikki Giovanni and so many more of our treasured voices. Just as important are the book clubs, intimate poetry readings, and countless customer conversations that unfold at Marcus.
The Marcus Books Fundraiser will go toward reclaiming a future where Marcus Books doesn't just survive but thrives, evolves, and gives back.
7.Northwest Tap Connection Support Fund
Beneficiary: Melba Ayco | Northwest Tap Connection
Cause: Support this team as they wait to reopen.
The Northwest Tap Connection is a close-knit creative space community of extremely talented black tap enthusiasts based in the south end of Seattle. Like so many, when COVID hit, they were forced to close and somehow sustain business operations to stay afloat.
Since closing, their campaign has raised half of its goal, which they are so adorably grateful for, but they still have a little bit more of a push to go. Regardless, their passionate, eager, and palpable energy will have this group in session for a long time.
8.Teaching Farm for Black Women
Beneficiary: Danita Dani Constable
Cause: Create a farm community in Decatur.
We never received our 40 acres and mule, but our good sis, Danita, doesn't care. She's out here to take it.
Danita, of Decatur, GA is looking to quite literally create a farming community for black women, a skill so incredibly important considering the direction this country is going. Her plans include: purchasing land, buying livestock, farming her land, building housing for those seeking asylum, making a donation to the Farmer's Alliance of Black Farmers, and so. much. more.
Needless to say, she is on a mission--a beautiful mission--and could use our support. She plans to build out this project over the next two to three years.
9.Official Gianna Floyd Fund
Beneficiary: Tiffany Lee of Stewart Trial Attorneys on behalf of Roxie Washington
Cause: The support of Giana Floyd.
Yes he did, baby girl.
For the rest of her life, Gianna Floyd will have access to seeing the death of her father. She will always have access to how the country tried to villainize him for his own murder. Despite this, most of us have taken on a ring of protection to ensure that because of this, she will have the best opportunities afforded to her. It takes a village to take care of all of ours, and nothing is enough.
From Barbara Streisand making her a Disney shareholder, to Kanye West paying for her already competitive college education, hopefully these big gestures can size up to an ounce of the fact that her father was stolen from her.
But at least she knows her daddy changed the world.
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Featured image by stockelements / Shutterstock.com
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
