Since commanding our attention with Love & Basketball 20 years ago, Gina Prince-Bythewood has been laser-focused on creating space for Black women in Hollywood. That mission doesn't change now that she has made history with Netflix's latest action film, The Old Guard.
As grand as this moment is, Gina isn't impressed by the fact that she is the first Black woman to direct a major comic-book film. She questions why it took all this time instead. "I hate that we're still having firsts in 2020," she tells xoNecole. "It's like, at what point does it stop?"
THE OLD GUARD
Aimee Spinks/NETFLIX
The Old Guard, which zooms in on an intimate camp of immortal mercenaries, isn't a mere win for Gina. In her eyes, it's a chance to ensure that Black women both in front of and behind the camera are no longer denied the shot to display the full scope of their talent. "I had a no-fail policy because I know how Hollywood works," she stresses. "There's such a spotlight on the few of us here that we have to succeed because in our success, others will get the opportunity."
In this xoChat, Gina reflects on cementing her name with Love & Basketball, overcoming rejection in Hollywood, and making room for KiKi Layne to shine in The Old Guard.
xoNecole: This year, you celebrated 20 years of 'Love & Basketball'. How has it been taking in how deep of a mark your first feature film has made?
Gina Prince-Bythewood: It really is amazing. It never gets old to hear that people dig the film. It's surreal that a film that was so hard to get made, that was such an incredible fight, that was such a personal story, has had longevity and that people still share it with family and friends after all this time. As an artist, that's what you dream about, of having your work sustain itself and affect people, so I'm blown away by it. It inspires me to keep doing what I'm doing.
Aimee Spinks/NETFLIX
What lesson from those early moments in your career do you keep close to the heart?
Overcome "no". That's the biggest thing. You only need one "yes".
When considering obstacles you’ve faced on your path, what keeps you from being jaded two decades into your career?
I'm acutely aware of the things that Hollywood has done wrong [and] how they're complicit in what is happening right now during this national reckoning, but what keeps me in this is I love to tell stories, I love what I do, and I know how important TV and film can be in shaping perception and changing culture. That sustains me. I only do things that I'm passionate about, and there are so many stories I want to tell, so there's always that excitement for me to get this into the world. The thing that creeps in every once in a while is knowing how hard it is to get some of these stories out there, but because I'm so passionate about it and know the game after 20 years and know that at some point somebody is going to say "yes", that absolutely keeps me going.
"I'm acutely aware of the things that Hollywood has done wrong [and] how they're complicit in what is happening right now during this national reckoning, but what keeps me in this is I love to tell stories, I love what I do, and I know how important TV and film can be in shaping perception and changing culture. That sustains me."
Aimee Spinks/NETFLIX
Thinking about the power that TV and film has, what on screen impacted you the most, especially when you think about why you decided to become a filmmaker in the first place?
There were two moments. When I was younger, I remember my family used to always sit down and watch M*A*S*H [together]. Then, one day I happened to turn the channel and Diff'rent Strokes was on, and it was the first time I felt like I saw myself reflected in this box, and I just became obsessed with it. Then in high school, when I was 17, I went to the movies and a trailer came up for She's Gotta Have It, and I got that same jolt of seeing a Black woman up there, and it affected me deeply. I wanted to give us that same jolt and give us the opportunity to see ourselves in ways that we can be inspired by.
With 'The Old Guard', you’ve become the first Black woman to direct a major comic-book film. How do you feel about that?
I hate that we're still having firsts in 2020. It's like, at what point does it stop? But, I'm proud of the fact that I got this opportunity to do it. I certainly worked hard to get it, and once I got it, I had a no-fail policy because I know how Hollywood works. There's such a spotlight on the few of us here that we have to succeed because in our success, others will get the opportunity. I carried that with me every day. That pressure fueled me as opposed to making me run away from it. I know that there are so many dope sisters out there that are as capable and eager to do the same thing, so I'm looking forward to them getting the shot.
"There's such a spotlight on the few of us here that we have to succeed because in our success, others will get the opportunity. I carried that with me every day. That pressure fueled me as opposed to making me run away from it. I know that there are so many dope sisters out there that are as capable and eager to do the same thing, so I'm looking forward to them getting the shot."
Aimee Spinks/NETFLIX
'The Old Guard' is an adaptation of the Greg Rucka comic book of the same name. What was it about this story that you gravitated to the most?
The [part I gravitated to] most was the fact that one of the old guards is a young, Black female hero. I was like, "Yeah, I need to put this in the world." I dug that she was naturally a warrior. There was such a normalcy to that. There wasn't some traumatic event that happened to her that forced her to find her strength. She was a Marine. She had it in her. It was innate in her. I love that narrative, and I love that it was two women at the forefront of the story with that same warrior mentality that I think that we all have, but we haven't always been given the encouragement to tap into. I also really dug the story. I liked what it had to say about finding your purpose and the importance of that, which was something very personal to me, and I felt the audience could connect with that despite the fantastical premise. I love that it was about the tragedy of immortality as opposed to the aspirational aspects. Prior to this movie, I used to think, I wish I could live forever. You think about the courage that would give you if you knew you couldn't die, but in doing this [film], you understand what that really means.
In our recent chat with KiKi Layne, she commended you for not allowing the action in the film to overpower the heart of the characters. Why was this so important to you?
What I love about the genre is the direction that it's really been going in the last couple of years where they feel more like action-dramas. That's what I love. I want to be able to care about the characters and not just watch action. If you don't care about the characters, if they're not furthering the story, then it gets monotonous to me. What I wanted to bring to this film was story first and character first, so that you, as an audience, are invested in and care about these people that you're spending two hours with.
You’ve dedicated your career to creating space for Black women to live on screen. What do you hope viewers take away from KiKi’s embodiment of Nile?
KiKi rocked it. I really want us to be able to look up on screen and see ourselves in a way that's inspiring. The best moment of this process was when we had an audience screening, and this sister, 22-years-old, commented that she wished she had Nile when she was 12-years-old. That was so dope to me. If we can see it for ourselves, we can start to live in that type of truth. The thing that makes Nile so badass is not just her strength and her swagger and her courage, but also her empathy and her vulnerability. I think that Nile and KiKi really embody all of that, and I think that she is definitely someone that we can aspire to be.
"If we can see it for ourselves, we can start to live in that type of truth. The thing that makes Nile so badass is not just her strength and her swagger and her courage, but also her empathy and her vulnerability. I think that Nile and KiKi really embody all of that, and I think that she is definitely someone that we can aspire to be."
Aimee Spinks/NETFLIX
With one superhero film down, where do you go from here?
As soon as I finished [The Old Guard], I was exhausted. It's a lot to shoot a film like this. I just kept thinking that I can't wait to get to another movie in my head that I want to write that's smaller and more personal. I was going to take six months off and just relax and write and shoot that, and then this script came to me that's just so dope. It's going to be announced very shortly. It just felt like everything I've done in my career, including The Old Guard, put me in a position to be able to make this film for us, so that little movie that's still in my head is going to have to wait another two years (laughs).
For more of Gina, follow her on Instagram. The Old Guard is now streaming on Netflix.
Featured image by Getty Images
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
In a way, it makes me think of a quote by one of my favorite poets, Rumi: “Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone's soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.” Lamps shed light. Lifeboats save lives (and/or transition people from one spot to another). Ladders help to lift people up. And y’all, if it’s not our life’s mission to want to do one or more of these things for at least one individual on a daily basis — what the heck are we doing out here? Truly.
And yet, spend just one hour on social media and you will see more folks yapping about how to get something out of someone than to “be a shepherd” to someone else — and when all a person wants to do is take…how absolutely draining is that?
So yeah, let’s take a moment to more thoroughly explore the concept of what a human “charger” vs. a “drainer” is — not just as a gut check to make sure that you are where you should be when it comes to how you prioritize your interactions with others but also to confirm whether or not you are surrounding yourself with — pardon the pun — positive charges or…negative ones.
Energy Is a Very Real Thing
GiphyIt really is purely fascinating, the things that you can discover, if you choose to intentionally look for information. Take something that I recently learned: Did you know there are certain types of transmitters that, when they are placed on top of human skin, they send a frequency of 40 MHz into a person’s system? As a result, their body becomes conductors of energy that can actually be transferred to other devices (so long as they have the kind of receiver that can process human energy in this way).
My greatest takeaway from this? Human energy is a very real thing. Not only does it provide us with the ability and power to do various things, it’s also what can be exchanged between two individuals. In fact, many mental health experts believe that it is more than possible for people to exchange energy via things like their attraction to one either, sharing thoughts and emotions and even through one another’s body language.
And since that is indeed the case, this is just one more reason why I will forever stand 10 toes down that sex shouldn’t be handled flippantly or dismissively — because if someone has a body part of theirs inside of yours…how much energy is being exchanged from that? Geeze. And so, since you need energy in order to literally function (and to be mentally and emotionally functional) — let’s look at how a human battery charger moves and then how a human battery drainer does as well.
Ready?
5 Signs That You “Fuel” People
GiphyFuel your fueler. It’s something that I am known for saying to some of my clients whenever someone in the relationship feels like the other isn’t meeting their needs. Basically, what it means is, if an individual is giving you some of what you need in order to function and even thrive, why wouldn’t you want that same type of energy to be reciprocated to them in return? Fueling your fueler helps to equip them to keep providing what you need from them. Simple math.
And here are five ways you can do it:
1. Bring positive insights and/or wisdom. One of my favorite quotes is always going to be by the writer Jorge Luis Borges. He once said, “Don’t speak unless you can improve upon the silence” — and that is a solid gold resolve to have. In a world that is filled with so much…noise, a fueler/battery charger is someone who radiates positivity and/or offers up insights that help you to see things from another perspective and/or gives you the kind of wisdom that challenges you to grow. How often do people say that you do at least one of these things for them?
2. Create more calm than chaos. Confusion is chaos — by definition. You know some of the things that cause confusion? Unclear communication. Passive aggressiveness. Inconsistency. Gossip. Being unnecessarily dramatic. And all of this is just for starters. Meanwhile, a calm individual? They bring peace and tranquility with their words and even simply their presence — and a big cause of this is that they are at peace within themselves. This is why I think it’s a red flag whenever someone is triggered by hearing “Be my peace.”
It is actually HIGH PRAISE when someone can say that when you come around, they feel relaxed instead of…stressed out. Not wanting peace to be associated with your name? Problematic, my dear.
3. You allow “Shalom” to define you. I say often that Hebrew culture is totally my thing — and this includes the Hebrew language. And although most people know that shalom means peace, the word is far more vast than that. Shalom also means to be whole and complete. It’s also a word that speaks to things like health and prosperity. Keeping this in mind, if you are someone who “charges instead of drains,” this means that when you come to mind to other individuals, they think of how much of a blessing that you are in their lives — and you know this because they tell you so. You have a spirit of “shalom” on you and it doesn’t get much better than that.
4. You choose to be a spiritual light. Oh, please believe that when it comes to this one, I am not speaking of church folks — some of them can be the most draining (and I wrote an entire book about it!). At the end of the day, being spiritual is about knowing that there is something out here that is bigger than you (which means you act like you know that life isn’t all about you).
Being spiritual is about fulfilling purpose. Being spiritual is about focusing on the immaterial rather than the material. And when you are a fueler and charger, you do this by motivating others to become more spiritual too.
For me, I have a friend who calls me her “idea doula” and I adore everything about that. She is saying that I help her to come up with ways to grow her business and brand and that ultimately helps her to manifest her own purpose. When it comes to what people can say about what you bring into their world…how do you spiritually benefit them?
5. You are also a muse or inspiration. Pretty much, a muse is a source of inspiration for a creative (check out “10 Habits Of Successful Creatives”) and when you inspire someone, it means that you produce or arouse something within them. It could be to try something new. It could be to finish something they started. It could be to look at a person, place, thing or idea from a different perspective. Or it could be that you inspire them to be a better version of themselves — and it might just be simply by them watching how you move. Remember that a battery charge provides power. When you are around others, what do your words and actions empower them to do — and are those things for the better?
5 Signs That You Actually Wear People Out
GiphyOkay, so it would appear that singer-songwriter Peter Hammill once said that a violinist friend by the name of Graham Smith came up with the term “energy vampire” back in the 70s. Apparently it was in reference to some of Hammill’s over the top fans (the more you know). These days, energy vampires are quite simply individuals who are draining to be around because they require so much of your mental and emotional energy whenever they are in your space.
And what are five ways that these types of people can wear you all the way out?
1. They take more than they give. I’ve been known to say it often: “Where there is no reciprocity, someone is out here being a liability.” Listen, when you’re in a relationship with a person, because you both are individuals, you may not (always) need the same things (especially at the same time) and/or your requirements and expectations may be different. That’s fine. However, don’t find yourself out here being the only one who is proactive and intentional — because if you are important to someone, they should want to give and not just take. Drainers don’t care about this. Chargers absolutely do.
2. They speak in monologues more than dialogues. Something else that I have told clients before is that a lot of people don’t want a PARTNER; they want an AUDIENCE. What I mean by that is, they just want someone to give them attention, to be engrossed in what they have to say, to put them on some sort of pedestal. That’s why they don’t know how to clap for others, they suck at listening, and they may even seem more envious than excited when others win. Back in the day, I used to have relationships where I barely couldn’t get a word in edgewise; it’s because all they really wanted to do, consistently so, is wax poetic in the forms of endless streams of consciousness. LOL.
Sometimes folks need an ear to get things off of their chest; understood — yet if that is ALL that someone is doing…they aren’t wanting to connect with you…they just want some attention from you.
3. Their problems/issues are redundant and cyclic. One of my favorite people on the planet is the poster child for this point. She dates the same kinds of men, she never listens to the 50-11 folks who tell her that they are the same kind of men and then — surprise, surprise — things end up the same way…over and over…and over with these same kinds of men. We’re talking decades’ worth of this nonsense too. And as much as I love her, over the past couple of years, we’ve had to have some hard conversations about how it can be challenging dealing with her sometimes because she stays in the hamster wheel of bullshishery.
Listen, that “we listen and don’t judge” nonsense that was all over the internet several months back (or was that last year? Time is moving weird right through here)? That is some of the dumbest ish that I’ve ever heard! Discernment literally means “acute judgment” and, as my mom used to say, “Discernment prevents experience from being your teacher.” Use discernment when deciding how deeply you should get involved with people’s stuff. Also, use discernment to decide when it’s time to shift your energy. Before they drain it all.
4. They compete instead of congratulate. I don’t know about y’all but, over the course of my life, I’ve had some real doozies of narcissists in my world — and one way that they tend to show up is low-key competing with me whenever I accomplish certain things instead of rather than just sitting back and congratulating my efforts. I’ve had people look at me crazy about becoming a doula and life coach — only to become one later. When my first book came out, someone literally said, OUT LOUD, “If you can do it, I know I can then.” DRAIN.ING.
A part of the reason why science says that GOOD FRIENDSHIPS keep us healthy is because support and encouragement help to keep our stress and anxiety levels down. Competing is (typically) stressful. Being celebrated isn’t. ‘Nuf said.
5. They are full of negativity. Constantly complaining. Always looking at things through a dark/negative lens. Never seeming to be in a good mood (or expecting you to get them out of their moods). Acting apathetic instead of/more than empathetic. Being hypercritical. Playing the victim. These are just some examples of what it means to be a negative type of person. The reason why research says that these kinds of folks can drain us is, since we already are prone to act on our natural negativity bias, whenever we’re surrounded with someone who is already caught up in theirs…that energy can be quite contagious.
And since negativity is bad for your cognitive function, immune system, emotional stability and so much more — the less negativity, the better. Yep, spend as little time with this kind of “drainer” as you possibly can.
Giphy____
Like I said earlier, our batteries are basically our energy — and when it comes to wise words on energy:
“Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.” (T. Harv Eker)
“Energy speaks what you don’t.” (Drishti Bablani)
“When the energy in the room doesn't feel right, probably, it's not right. But sometimes it's also because of you.” (Mitta Xinindlu)
And when it comes to that last quote, specifically — umm, well, …see how I presented the chargers part of the article with a “you” and the drainers with a “they”? LOL. Yeah, that was so you would take the medicine down easier — oh, but definitely take in ALL of this piece, just to make sure that you don’t only have “wear me outs” in your world but that others aren’t actually thinking or saying this about you too.
Being a battery charger or a battery drainer. At least once a week, this is something that we should self-evaluate because energy is precious — and so is what we choose to do with it.
You can fuel or wear people out, y’all.
Please, for the sake of your energy levels as well as theirs…choose wisely.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Unsplash