OWN’s Black Loveis in its sixth and final season, with new episodes featuring couples including Adrienne “Gammy” Banfield-Norris and Rodney Norris, DJ Envy and Gia Casey, Remy Ma and Papoose, Ashley Blaine Featherson Jenkins and Darroll Jenkins, JB Smoove and Shahidah Omar, Sonequa Martin-Green and Kenric Green and more.
The four-time NAACP-nominated docuseries was created by husband-and-wife filmmakers Codie and Tommy Oliver, and offers a nice respite from shows like Marriage Bootcamp or the Love and Marriage series, featuring conversations on relationship topics and a refreshing glimpse into the love lives of some of our favorite Black couples who are business leaders, hosts, entertainers, and influencers.
xoNecole caught up with the Olivers, as well as the Norrises about the show and their own journeys in love:
On what to expect for the final season:
Codie Oliver: The overarching theme is what I titled ‘The Finale,’ which is ‘relationship goals.’ And I called it that ironically because ‘relationship goals’ is one of those terms that suggests perfection. We throw that on people who we like. The reality is that, to me, in my experience of doing all these interviews and putting this together, [the] real relationship goal is authenticity and alignment in your partnership.
The title is meant to be ironic. They talk about it explicitly—several of the couples—and what that title means to them, how they feel about having that placed on them, and hopefully our series has shown, again, that the real goal is to be in alignment with your partner and nothing else really matters.
"The reality is that, to me, in my experience of doing all these interviews and putting this together, [the] real relationship goal is authenticity and alignment in your partnership."
By Elton Anderson
The Olivers on authentic connection in their relationship:
Codie: To me, that alignment, that checking in with self and with [a] partner about, like, what do we really want and what do each decision mean for us, whether that is the amount of travel that we are doing or not doing, [or] the amount of time spent working versus with our kids. So, it’s that checking with self and checking in with my partner about what’s making us happy in various phases of life. [It's] recognizing that with every season comes something new, whether it’s ‘newlywed’ or ‘new parent’ or ‘parent of three,’ and that constant conversation around, ‘Are we working to achieve the same goals, small or large?’ ‘Are we happy with how this relationship is progressing and how can we change that or make adjustments to it to make it more fulfilling for both of us?’ I think that’s important for all relationships.
Tommy: During [the pandemic] I really enjoyed being around [Codie] all the time, being around my kids all the time. I also knew it wouldn’t be the case forever, so I made sure to appreciate it for what it was at that point. And so, hopefully, it would be something different. Marriages, relationships, and partnerships—these things have seasons, and you’re in a different one. In a long marriage, you’re going to go through a lot of different seasons and a lot of different experiences and for me, it’s about figuring out how to adapt to where we are because I plan for us to be together for more than the next 20 years. I’m going to do my part to make sure that you want to be with me for more than the next 20 years.
"Marriages, relationships, and partnerships—these things have seasons, and you’re in a different one. In a long marriage, you’re going to go through a lot of different seasons and a lot of different experiences and for me, it’s about figuring out how to adapt to where we are because I plan for us to be together for more than the next 20 years."
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The Norrises on why they chose to join the cast:
Rodney Norris: We were fans of the show from the very beginning. Never thought we’d be on it, but when the opportunity presented itself, we felt like we had a story to tell as well. Our relationship has been very positive and that’s what Black Love represents. So, from that perspective, we felt like our story could be an addition to it.
Adrienne Banfield-Norris: I agree. We love Black Love and actually tried to manifest being on the show because we were shouting out Black Love on IG and on my podcast Positively Gam, and it came to be. We’re excited to be part of it.
On reconnecting and the thread that keeps them together:
Adrienne: The most important thing is friendship. Besides the love, do you like him? Do you have fun together? Do you enjoy being in each other’s company? To me, that is the most important thing because, I think, a lot of times friendship is what is going to seal the relationship—just really seal the bond.
Rodney: I agree. And at some point, you have to communicate. You can only have sex but for so much during the course of the day, and then after that, there’s 23 hours left. What are you going to do? You have to talk about something. Do you get along? I think the friendship is very important.
On navigating differences in a relationship:
Adrienne: One of the most important things about Rodney is that he does not believe in [raising] his voice. Communication is of the utmost importance. When I get angry, I immediately go to the ra-ra. I’m going to cuss you out, I’m going to do all of that. Yell. Scream. And I had to be willing to do the work on me, because that was not something he was going to tolerate in the relationship.
So you have to be able to communicate and be able to talk things out rationally and hear one another. That was one of the things. He said, ‘If you’re screaming and hollering, I can’t even hear you.’ So you have to be able to communicate in a way that both of you are able to hear one another’s perspective and hope that you will be able to come to a compromise.
The final season of Black Love is currently airing on OWN.
OFFICIAL TRAILER: The 6th & Final Season of Black Love | Black Love | OWN
Featured image by Unique Nicole/WireImage/Getty
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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We sat down with Beth Smith of Beth Diana Smith Interior Designs to learn how to create the perfect tablescape for any dinner party.
Set the Tone With Dinnerware
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“Focus on the meal you’re serving and make your dinnerware set the tone and be the highlight of the table,” says Smith. The dinner is why your community is coming together and is arguably the most crucial centerpiece. Decorative pieces are nice, but food and what we use to eat can make it much more special. Smith suggests, “I recommend the Nguka dinnerware set from 54kibo, which is stunning, unique, and beautifully made.”
If you’re looking for a more affordable option, The Stoke Collection by ceramic artists Althea’s Meade-Hajduk is intentionally created to visually enhance any meal experience.
Have Fun With Your Color Palette
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In the world of nude palette overload, it’s nice to see color occasionally. Color is a natural mood booster that can bring excitement to the room - or table! “Create a thoughtful color palette that is not the standard Thanksgiving palette of fall colors,” says Smith. Having fun with colors and moving away from a traditional setting can bring uniqueness to your tablescape.
There’s also no chance of your tablescape having the same color palette as everyone else on social media. Smith adds, “If pink has grabbed your attention, this dusty pink set from Our Place has different plate and bowl size options.”
Incorporate Florals Through Bud Vases or Bouquets
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Who doesn’t love florals? This look is accepted year-round, not just when romance is involved. “You can’t go wrong with florals for a tablescape if you’re setting it for your family, friends, or a group of singles,” says Smith. Florals are an easy way to make any event look elevated without having to try as hard. If you’re worried about hypoallergenic guests, you can purchase artificial flowers from Amazon. Here, you can find various floral options and even create your own bouquet.
“A floral tablescape can be budget-friendly or as extravagant as you may like. You can select a few bud vases and strategically place them around the table using a bouquet you bought locally,” says Smith.
Unsure of who is your local florist? Black Girl Florist is a site that helps you source local florists in your area. Click here to find a florist in your neighborhood! And if your budget is a little tighter than usual due to the holidays, Smith has a solution that will save you money altogether. Smith suggests, “You can also use dried-up branches and leaves from your backyard, which would be free.”
Elevate Your Tablescape With a Charcuterie Board
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Charcuterie boards have become all the rage on TikTok, and for good reason. Mixing your favorite meats, cheese, and grapes has made snacking visually tasteful. Smith says they can also create a fabulous tablescape - killing two birds with one stone. Smith says, “You can never go wrong with creating one large charcuterie board. This makes food the decoration interesting, colorful, and delicious!” This could be especially great for Friendsgiving, and you want to avoid cooking a turkey twice.
The beauty of charcuterie boards is creating a food palette unique to you or your guest's needs. On the flip side, we also understand how overwhelming it can be to decide precisely what to put on your board. Smith has a few recommendations that can be helpful, “You can include cheeses, crackers, and meats, but you can also add specialty items like deserts, chocolate, and truffle mustard.”
Smith refers to the Truffle Mustard by Truffiest, an award-deserving mustard infused with summer truffles from northern Italy. This mustard can be paired with crackers, cheeses, meats, and shredded turkey if you want to stay on the theme.
Build on an Artsy Vibe and Add Layers
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There’s no shame in bringing it back to basics. Bring out the old tablecloth your family member gave you a few years ago; it’s vintage! “The goal is to make the table look and feel like you have everything you need and more,” Smith says. Everything you need and more can consist of four main ingredients: tablecloth, napkins, cups, and, most importantly - wine glasses. “Make the tablescape feel artistic with funky dinner napkins and tablecloths. Then, layer with oversized plates, long-stemmed wine glasses, and after-dinner cups.”
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