Quantcast
Here's How To Feel More In Control Of Your Life
Shutterstock

Here's How To Feel More In Control Of Your Life

Find your way back.

Life & Travel

There is no better feeling than reclaiming your power. You know, taking back control of your life. I should know because I spent all of 2019 and most of 2020 reclaiming my power after I gracefully swan-dived into losing my identity. And that is one of the worst feelings in the world – to not know who you are, what you're doing, and why you're doing it. Losing your sense of "why" should be a sign in itself. But oftentimes you don't realize this until you're sitting in the dark crying your eyes out. Because it's in this moment you begin to realize you're on the verge of losing control of yourself if not already.

I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone, it's never easy, and it's never fun. It's one of the most uncomfortable things you will ever go through. But sometimes we need to go through a situation to understand our wants and needs. As I began to step into my power and purpose, the uncertainty in my decisions scared me at first. The unconventional route is a road less traveled – undesired, misunderstood, and judged. Little did I know everything would work out in my favor. And the level of control I have over my life right now is something I never dreamed of.

Here are a few things I learned, and I found helpful in my journey in taking back control of my own life. These things are never easy to do, but with practice it becomes easier. The art of self-awareness takes patience and making a conscious effort to spend time with yourself.

How To Feel More In Control Of Your Life

1.Trust Your Intuition

hip hop squares intuition GIF by VH1Giphy

Decision-making is hard, especially when it comes to everyday life decisions. But one of the things I learned was to trust my intuition. You know that weird feeling in the pit of the stomach or the lightness you feel in your chest? Those are signs that something is right or wrong – let that guide you. The universe will confirm your decisions for you too. I remember the day I decided I was done letting a certain situation control me. The minute I chose to move forward with that hard decision, every other related life decision I said yes to started to make sense.

2.Ask For Help

GIF by Iyanla: Fix My LifeGiphy

I am not one to ask for help, but I had to learn it's OK to ask for it. I was so used to figuring things out on my own. Because that's just me – my mother raised me to be self-sufficient always. But when you don't have the answer and you're unsure of your direction, know it's OK to seek guidance. Talk to family or friends you can trust or seek professional help from a life coach or a therapist. You'll discover the right techniques and tools you need to get your life back on track.

3.Check-In With Yourself

media2.giphy.com

Don't let days, weeks, or months pass you by without taking a moment to check-in with you. It has to start here. Be aware of your feelings as you go through the process of gaining control of life. Ask yourself reflection questions to understand if the path you chose is working or if there is something you can change.

4.Be Selective With Everything

clueless alicia silverstone GIFGiphy

Protect your time, space, energy, and more importantly your heart. When you are trying to gain control of your life, you have to be selfish AF. But I mean selfish in a good way. Be selective in how you spend your time and who you spend your time with too. Be selective with everything and everyone in your life periodt. Communicate to your squad that you're focusing on yourself and that getting your life right is the priority. Trust that the people in your circle will respect and understand your selfishness. Your family and friends will get it – because we all have gone through a period in life where we lose control. And if they don't get it – use boundaries or cut them off. It is what it is, and don't apologize for it.

5.Control Your Thoughts

happy the best GIF by @SummerBreakGiphy

Controlling your thoughts is probably the hardest step of all. This daily struggle is real too, but it is doable. What you think – is really what you become. You have to have a level of self-awareness to catch yourself when your mind starts to wander into confusion and negativity. The minute you start to think a negative thought, quickly switch to a positive thought or affirmation. It literally takes a second to get your mind right. Practice makes perfect – and it takes 21 days to create a new habit.

Taking control of your life takes time. It's not a quick fix, and it doesn't happen overnight. Find the strength to look in the mirror on the days you don't want to. You have to keep looking at your reflection until you are you again.

Knowing you're in control of your life is a power like no other. And knowing your life is truly yours is something that no one can take away from you.

Be empowered queen.

Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!

Featured image by Shutterstock

When His Cancer Came Back, They Planned Their Viral Wedding Of A Lifetime In A Week

For many newly engaged couples, the euphoria of their engagement is quickly replaced by the stress and chaos of wedding planning. For writer Ashley Reese and her new husband Robert Stengel, the anxiety around planning their recent nuptials was only intensified by having just a week to plan and execute it.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
EXCLUSIVE: Keke Palmer Launches 'Heaux & Tell' On KeyTV

Recently, we heard that Keke "Keep a Job" Palmer launched her digital network KeyTV. Today, xoNecole has the exclusive first look at the first series on KeyTV, Heaux & Tell.

Written and created by Nakia Stephens and executive produced and developed by Keke, "Heaux and Tell follows the misadventures of three best friends who dive headfirst into provocative and ridiculous new experiences. A 7-episode scripted show featuring a BIPOC cast of talent and behind-the-scenes creators who helped bring it to life, the series offers this generation a real take on sex, sexuality, and sisterhood."


"KeyTV is about bringing new perspectives to the table and platforming creators who have something to say," Keke tells xoNecole of why she chose Heaux & Tell. "Overall, I want the network to deliver content that is relatable to our generation with characters you feel like you know, and Heaux & Tell, our first scripted series, delivers on that and more. The series takes the audience on a wild & seriously unexpected ride through the eyes of three Black women and best friends who don't always have it together in their relationships, at work, or even with each other but are doing the best they can. It's a show that I'd watch with my friends because it's about real characters dealing with their problems, their wins, and their lovers in real-time – and having some real good messy fun along the way."

Watch the trailer below:

Will you be watching?

Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.

Black woman in a hammock drinking tea

I've never been a person who thrives on routines or waking up early, and I know I'm not the only one. But we can do a few things in the morning to help us get a good start to the day. Ayurvedic medicine, also known as Ayurveda, is an ancient form of Indian medicine that has been practiced for thousands of years and still plays an integral role in India's traditional healthcare system.

Keep reading...Show less
These 'Black Panther: Wakanda Forever' Collabs Are Representing For The Culture

I will never forget the feeling of watching Black Panther for the first time. Now, here we are gearing up for Black Panther: Wakanda Foreverfour years later. To think about the film without Chadwick Boseman is challenging to process. However, we know all who worked on the film will honor his legacy while delivering a movie we'll discuss long after we leave the theaters.

Keep reading...Show less
Your November 2022 Horoscopes Are All About Releasing Doubt & Trusting The Process

November is a time of maintaining your strength and opening your heart. This is the month to stand in your empowerment, trust the guiding force of your heart and the intuition it brings, and get inspired by where you are headed right now. The month begins in the midst of Eclipse Season, with the final eclipse of the year occurring in Taurus on November 8th. This Total Full Moon Lunar Eclipse also happens to be the Blood Moon of the year, signifying an empowering, transformational, and somewhat intense time for the collective. Changes and transformations are inevitable this month, but what you do with what is occurring will be the biggest game changer of it all.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts