10 Essential Oil Beauty Hacks I Bet You Didn't Know About
Although I've never had full-blown acne before, I am the one who gets a period pimple, that is obnoxious as all get out, in the sense that it pops up right when I don't want it to, right where I don't want it to be. Plus, my hair tends to lend towards the drier side, no matter what I do. Well, at least it used to be that way. Something that has gotten my skin under control is essential oils (specifically tea tree oil and lavender oil for zits). What's gotten my hair right is a sweet almond oil blend, along with Jamaican Black castor oil with rosemary in it.
Why am I sharing this? It's because it wasn't until I stopped being a product junkie and I started doing some research on different essential oils and what they can do, that I discovered that they are must-haves when it comes to my beauty routine. They're natural. They're therapeutic. And they serve multiple purposes, which is definitely a huge plus.
But enough about me. Do you want to try something that will help your insides as well as maintain your beauty on the outside? If so, I've got 10 different essential oils that can get you on the road to looking and feeling, just as amazing as you wanna be.
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1. Anti-Aging: Carrot Seed Oil
Off top, carrot seed oil is loaded with antioxidants that help to strengthen your immune system. Since it also contains antimicrobial, antioxidant, and anti-inflammatory properties, it's the kind of oil that is also great when it comes to cell renewal, detoxing your blood and stimulating blood circulation. Something else that's awesome about carrot seed oil is it has antiseptic and antiviral properties that make it a great ingredient for homemade deodorant.
Since it's an oil that helps to protect your skin from UV damage, that's one of the reasons why it tops the list if you're looking for an anti-aging essential oil. Being that it's also high in vitamins A, C and E, it mends skin, boosts collagen and is a wonderful moisturizer too. No doubt about it, carrot seed oil is definitely an essential oil that can help to keep your "black from cracking".
Try This: Combine two tablespoons of pure Aloe vera gel with five drops of carrot seed oil and three drops of a carrier oil (like coconut oil or safflower oil). Apply the formula to freshly cleaned skin before turning in at night. Then wash it off in the morning. (Make sure to keep this stored in the fridge.)
2. Hair Growth: Cedarwood Oil
Cedarwood is an antiseptic, anti-inflammatory and antifungal type of essential oil that is great at treating anxiety and insomnia as well as softening the appearance of acne-related scarring. Another pleasant surprise about the oil is some people have even said that it helps to alleviate discomfort that's directly related to arthritis. But what makes it a top hair beauty treatment oil is the fact that it's pretty powerful at treating alopecia areata (a disease that directly attacks hair follicles). Plus, since cedarwood oil also has the ability to balance the sebum that your scalp produces (so that your follicles don't get clogged up), hindering hair growth as a direct result.
Try This: Mix two tablespoons with jojoba oil with one teaspoon of cedarwood oil. Apply the mixture to your scalp, massage for 10 minutes and then rinse out (right after shampooing and conditioning your hair).
3. Skin Exfoliant: Sweet Almond Oil
Sweet almond oil is definitely one of my favorite essential oils on the planet! It's high in vitamins A, E and zinc which makes it great at reducing eye puffiness, moisturizing your skin and even reducing the effects of sun damage. And, since sweet almond oil contains powerful emollient properties, it can gently remove dead skin cells so that you're able to end up with even skin tone. It's also an oil that reduces the appearance of acne scars. It can even cause your stretch marks to fade over time.
Try This: Combine a half cup of colloidal oatmeal with three tablespoons of sweet almond oil and a tablespoon of manuka honey. Apply the mask onto clean and damp skin. Let it sit for 15-20 minutes then rinse off with cool water.
4. Toner Ingredient: Thieves Oil
What I like a lot about thieves oil is it's a combination of some of the best essential oils around. It's got cinnamon, cloves, lemon, rosemary and eucalyptus oil, all rolled up into one. This makes it the kind of super oil that is able to boost your immune system, fight sinus congestion, improve your mood, relieve body aches and pains and, if you add it to your DIY toothpaste recipe, it will fight tooth decay and make your toothpaste taste so much better too. Thanks to all of the antimicrobial properties thieves oil contains that are able to kill bacteria and fungi, it's also an ideal ingredient if you like to make your own skin toner.
Try This: Steep some chamomile tea and let it cool. Then add a teaspoon of witch hazel, a half teaspoon of apple cider vinegar (the kind that has the mother in it), along with five drops of thieves oil. Put the combination in a spray bottle, shake and then mist your skin with the toner solution.
5. Damaged Hair Cuticles: Rosemary Oil
Rosemary oil is the ultimate. It helps to improve your concentration. It provides pain relief. It decreases stress levels. It increases blood circulation. It reduces joint inflammation. It improves liver and digestive health as well. I use it directly as it relates to the health of my hair, though. Since it stimulates blood circulation, your hair follicles are able to get the nutrients that they need in a quicker amount of time. Rosemary oil is also an oil that can help to stop premature greying, hinder dandruff and yes, it can repair damaged hair cuticles too. That's because the antioxidants in the oil are able to seal your cuticles so that, if they're weak, they can get strong again.
Try This: Seal your hair with Jamaican Mango & Lime's Jamaican Black Castor Oil Rosemary Oil. If you'd like some tips on how to properly seal your hair, click here.
6. Collagen Booster: Orange Oil
I like orange oil because it smells so refreshing. As far as health benefits go, it is able to reduce depression-related symptoms, increase your exercise performance, fight certain bacterial strains, heal acne and even treat constipation. Orange oil is also considered to be a great anti-aging essential oil because it has the ability to trigger collagen production in your skin, which can smooth out fine lines and cause your skin to appear more youthful-looking as a direct result.
Try This: If you want to make your own orange oil to apply to your skin, click here for a recipe.
7. Skin Soother: Copaiba Oil
Copaiba oil is an oil that comes from copaiba trees. Some of its cool benefits include the fact that it is able to help treat infections like bladder infections, strep throat and even gonorrhea. The irony to this oil is that while it is able to treat gonorrhea (and syphilis), it's also an aphrodisiac too (some Native Americans even used it as a form of contraception). This oil is awesome for your skin because it contains beta-caryophyllene which is an anti-inflammatory agent that helps to soothe any irritation and heal it over time.
Try This: Mix three teaspoons of avocado oil (which is a great healing oil) with three drops of copaiba. Apply directly to wherever your skin is irritated.
8. Dry Scalp: Ylang-Ylang Oil
If you want an oil that will lower your blood pressure, alleviate anxiety, reduce depression-related symptoms, slow down your heart rate, soothe the pressure that comes with headaches, treat sinus infections and make it easier for you to go to sleep at night, ylang-ylang oil is just what you're looking for.
On the beauty tip, because it's also an oil that stimulates sebaceous glands, it can help to heal your dry scalp while deep conditioning your hair at the same time.
Try This: Add three drops of ylang-ylang oil to three tablespoons of coconut oil. Massage the oil onto your clean damp scalp. Then let it sit for 20 minutes, rinse with cool water and style.
9. Scar Treatment: Helichrysum Oil
While this isn't exactly the kind of oil that comes up in regular conversation, once you know all of the ways that it can benefit you, you'll want to get a couple of bottles of it as soon as possible. Helichrysum essential oil comes from a Mediterranean plant. It is able to do everything from reduce inflammation during a cold and relieve intestinal spasms to stop staph infections and treat candida. As far as your beauty needs go, helichrysum oil is great because it speeds up the healing process of wounds (including popped pimples) so that your scars are smoother and less apparent to the eye.
Try This: Mix a teaspoon of Vitamin E oil with two drops of helichrysum oil. Then directly apply the combo onto any healed scars you may have.
10. Hair Strengthener: Clary Sage Oil and Lavender Oil
Clary sage has the reputation of being a natural antidepressant and stress reducer. Something else that's wonderful about it is, clary sage also has the ability to reduce menstrual cramps and reduce menopausal symptoms. Hair-wise, this is the kind of oil that can reduce dandruff and strengthen your hair follicles. Lavender oil contains properties that fight allergies, treats insomnia, helps to heal eczema, reduce menstrual cramps and relaxes your nervous system. It's great for your hair because lavender oil can help to make your hair strands thicker while stimulating hair growth in the process.
Try This: Apricot kernel oil is high in vitamins A and E which makes it a great carrier oil for your hair. Mix a half cup of it with 5-7 drops of clary sage oil and 3-4 drops of lavender oil. Zap it in the microwave for 15 seconds and then apply as a hot oil treatment for your hair. Do it twice a month for best results.
Want to talk more about beauty, wellness & self-care with like-minded women? Join the xoTribe members community today to start your glow-up journey.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Age-Gap Dating Is HUGE Right Now. Still...Read This Before Doing It.
If you’re someone who’s been reading my content for a while, you know that I’m pretty big on accountability (with both men and women), and that means sometimes I will call out blatant hypocrisy and double standards. Today? It’s the fact that I find it to be mighty interesting that when an older woman is dating a younger man, she’s usually considered to be a “cougar” yet when an older man dates a younger woman, suddenly he’s a “perv” (short for pervert).
It's important to bring up that super unfair comparison because, when it comes to a particular dating trend that’s on the list of being a really big dating trend right now, it’s both men and women who are looking to get in on it — and if it’s good for one gender (within reason), in all fairness, it should be seen the same way for the other (again, within reason).
So, with that said, whatever it is that I’m about to share on the topic of age-gap dating, just know that I have no bias; I simply think it’s important for men and women, younger and older, to take a very realistic approach to this kind of dating…because as with pretty much everything in life, it has its pros and some, well, cons too.
Popular Doesn’t Automatically Mean Best
GiphySomething that has kind of always fascinated me about our culture is how so many people will abandon all common sense and logic, just to do something that is considered popular. Well, at the end of the day, that’s pretty much what a trend is: something that is currently done by a lot of people for…whatever the reason. When it comes to dating trends, specifically, oftentimes, they are “birthed” out of surveys from dating sites or apps. When the people who conduct them notice that something is overwhelmingly preferred, encouraged, or supported, then it becomes a trend — and that’s just where age-gap dating came from.
Long story short, Bumble kinda-sorta-recently did a survey and discovered things like 63 percent of folks don’t factor in age when it comes to dating, and 59 percent of women said that they would date a younger man; those are pretty large numbers, and so, there ya have it: a trend.
I will say that although the study wasn’t super-duper specific about when an age gap is considered to be too much of one,Glamour published an article a few years back that said, 10-plus years between two people is enough to start causing some issues if one is not careful (more on that in a sec). And so, before you decide to get out here lookin’ for a youngin’ or a more — eh hem — mature man, just because it currently seems like everyone else is open to it, consider if 10 years — backward or forwards — is something that you would want to deal with; especially long-term.
If you’re not sure, keep reading. Hopefully, I will provide some things for you to ponder.
Difference in Age Means Differences Everywhere
GiphyI’ve got people in my world who have big age gaps in their relationships. I’m talking about more than just 10 years. One example that immediately comes to mind is a married couple who has 15 years between them; the wife is older. On some levels, everything seems cool and copasetic. Oh, but there are nuances. Like she can be very condescending when it comes to what he finds to be fun and entertaining. Plus, their sex drives are not even close to being compatible now that she is well past menopause. It’s interesting because, rather than acknowledging that a lot of all of this has to do with their vast age differences, she prefers to see him as being immature. He’s not immature, sis. He’s just a lot younger than you are.
So, when it comes to age-gap relationships, that’s the first thing that you should think about: are you willing to deal with the differences that will probably come about, simply because you are at different stages in your lives due to your different ages?
Example: Because people say that I don’t look my age (‘preciate it), it’s not uncommon for folks to try and set me up with someone who is in their early 30s. For the most part, I’ll pass. For one thing, I intentionally decided that I didn’t want to have kids a long time ago, and I don’t want to have that discussion/debate with someone who may feel otherwise (quite possibly because they don’t have kids or want more of them). Also, I’ve worked with people, in the lane of relationships, for quite some time now.
Men before 35? For the most part, I encourage their focus to be on themselves and building their life (because a lot of guys don’t hit their professional and financial peak until their late 40s or early 50s). As for myself, I’m pretty settled, so I don’t want to be a hindrance when it comes to them up and moving a few times or switching career paths. Do that babe. You should.
I could go on and on when it comes to this particular point. The bottom line is dating someone who has a semi-significant age difference from you and then having a problem with the differences that come along with it is like really enjoying the summertime and then expecting winter to act like it…just because you do. Feel me?
Age-Gap Dating Requires Being a (Patient) Student. And Teacher.
GiphyWhenever people talk to me about the hours that they spend (or is it waste?) arguing with folks on social media, something that I will oftentimes say (for instance) is, “Some of those folks weren’t even born when Freaknik happened. Let them come to the wisdom and insight that you have, due to your age, on their own.” Same thing goes for age-gap dating.
When it comes to these celebrity relationships, so many of them switch up like they change their underwear, so I won’t even give specific examples. If you surf or scroll on a daily basis, though, you know that there are some older women dating younger men and older men who are dating younger women who show all the signs in the world of heading for a real roller coaster ride because…they are simply at two totally different points in their life.
For instance, when you’re in your 20s, it’s not automatically a red flag that you want to go to the club often. Oh, but when you’re in your 40s, you can be tempted to tell them that it is — even though you did the same thing when you were their age. You know, just because you’ve “been there and done that” before, that doesn’t mean you should look down on them because they haven’t (yet).
Yeah, that’s another challenge about age-gap dating and age-gap relationships: you tend to think that you should be someone’s parent instead of their partner.
So, do I think that age-gap dating can never work? No, that’s not the case. What I will say is if you’re not a very flexible person, you are about to be pissed, often. Because when you’re with someone who has a different view of things that you do, and a part of it is because they are a different age than you are, you’ve got to be willing to teach some things that could help them to grow and also learn some things that could help you to become a better person — whether they are the older one or not.
Take two of my clients where, again, the husband is younger (by nine years) and the wife is older. He says all of the time that if he had not come into her life, she would’ve aged faster because she owns the fact that she’s not naturally a very adventurous person. At the same time, because of her influence in his life, he’s better with time management, which has helped him professionally, because she’s a huge planner (something that she learned to become due to “fumbling some balls” back when she was younger). See what I mean: the student as well as the teacher.
Does this apply to all relationships? It should. I’m just saying that when age-gap dating comes into play, lessons tend to pop up often and sometimes, very unexpectedly, simply due to folks being at various places and stages due to their age alone. If you can’t fathom dealing with that, age-gap dating is probably not something that you should get involved with.
Casually Doing It Can Tend to Backfire
GiphyOkay, so what if you’re someone who wants to do some age-gap dating on a casual level? What could possibly go wrong there? Well, from reading some of my other articles (check out “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex'”), you’ll already know that I’m not big on the meaning of casual: apathetic, careless, off-hand, without serious intention. Me? Especially at this age, I have zero energy or interest to be dealt with on a casual basis (whew, chile). And what if you’re the one who wants to take this approach? I mean, you’re grown, right? Do you.
I will just give the heads up when it comes to, say, wanting to have a casual sexual situationship with a younger man, while there is more content out here that says while 20-somethings may be having more sex, it’s the people in their 40s who are actually enjoying it the most (which means that it shouldn’t be assumed that the young guys do it better), science is science — and science says that testosterone levels are at their highest when a man is in his 20s. Meanwhile, for us, we are reportedly able to have the most consistent orgasms while we’re in our 30s. Where am I going with all of this?
I actually didn’t become sexually active until college. My first love was younger than I, and goodness, when didn’t he want to hump my leg? The college period was like a sea of raging hormone vessels with free rooms in the form of dorms. Chaotic and damn near diabolical in hindsight. LOL. And a big part of that is because guys have testosterone surging, and we as women are hella fertile. Getting off stays at the forefront on some level (at least for most of us).
The challenge with that is a lot of people who are hormone-driven may not necessarily be relationship-minded. And once you hit your late 30s-40s, after a couple of months of mind-blowing sex (perhaps), that could get old, especially if the sweet young thang doesn’t have much more to offer than that. And so…where do things have to go? That’s the thing about casual…usually nowhere. Again, by definition.
I will say that if you just read all of that and was like, “Okay…and still, what’s the problem?” — hey, do you, sis. I just think it needs to go on record that once you reach a certain point and place in life, casual experiences with younger men can damn near seem brutal — and you can’t really blame them if you got turned out, yet they barely respond to any texts that don’t have sex on the menu. #justsaying
Make Sure to Be Extremely Honest About Your Needs. And Expectations.
GiphyLet’s swing to the other side of this: you dating an older man. I know someone who is currently doing that as well. She’s in her late 30s, and he’s in his early 50s. He’s stable. He’s smart. She said the sex is bomb. Dating him is fun, spontaneous, and full of surprises. So, what’s the problem? He’s super set in his ways. His values are hella traditional (hers are not).
More than anything, though, she wants to get married, and he’s divorced, so he has more of a “been there, done that” take on it. Does he have a problem with being exclusive? Absolutely not. However, having another wife or more children? His kids are grown. He’s mentally and emotionally past that time, too. And so, at a bit of a crossroads, they are — both are invested, and yet, because they are in different seasons of life, they don’t want the same things.
That’s another thing to consider when it comes to age-gap dating — if you are looking for something serious or substantial, you don’t really have time to waste when it comes to getting your needs and expectations out on the table. That’s why, past the first date to see if there is potential for a real connection beyond just chemistry, when it comes to age-gap dating, you really need to get your needs and expectations out there (on both sides) as soon as possible because — and pardon the pun — time is definitely of the essence.
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A lot to think about? Yeah, perhaps. At the same time, is the age-gap something to be leery of? No. It’s just important to check your motives, be realistic, and not lie to yourself or the person you’re seeing about what you want to get out of it.
Because no matter how hot of a trend age-gap dating may currently be, you need to do what’s right and best for you…not merely what is…popular.
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