Media Personality Erica 'Comeback' Cobb Schools Us On Ownership & Career Redemption
Nobody really needs yet another reminder that the past year or so has been rough. We have more than enough articles, blogs, podcasts, and social media updates to remind us daily that life can throw you some real curve balls, forcing you to either hit or strike out. But even when you strike out, there's always that next throw—that next chance—when you can always turn things around.
Media personality Erica Cobb has remixed the whole concept of a comeback into a revival of determination where you think, "What loss? Failure? Where?" As co-host of TEGNA's Daily Blast Live, host of her own platform, Comeback.TV, and co-host of podcast Who Cares What They Think, she unapologetically sits in her truth, whether tackling conversations about xenophobia and colorism or chatting with women about their biggest moments of redemption.
Cobb, who has more than 15 years of skin the media game, once faced an almost three-year battle with depression, financial hardship, and employment challenges after losing a very high-profile job. She eventually found a way to take her own career lemons and make them garnish for one hell of a comeback margarita, now hosting a nationally syndicated show and giving voice to women of color who have also beat the odds.
She sat down with xoNecole for an exclusive interview to tell us the how, when and why of that journey, and how you can be the comeback star of your own story:
Image by Kymora Jaxson Photography
xoNecole: You're an experienced media professional who, in addition to your day job, started your own platform, Comeback.TV. You've also continued balancing several projects throughout the pandemic. What has that experience been like?
Erica Cobb: I always like to say [that] the comeback is never over because if you're a growing person, there are obviously going to be some setbacks along the way that you're going to have to, you know, come back from. The interesting thing about just how I started this brand, I was really the antithesis of where everybody else in my life or my peers were. I seemingly was failing when everyone else was really thriving and what I noticed, especially in the beginning of the pandemic, I just sat down. I sat down with my husband, and we had a conversation. I'm like, I know that this is going to be a year of loss and a lot of lack, but I know that this is where I thrive. So, I'm anticipating really growing myself, my career, and this brand over the next year. And that's pretty much what happened.
I ramped up who I was having on my podcast. I made a completely separate social media supplement to the podcast so that people could get it where they were. A lot of my people are on Instagram and Facebook, so I wanted to make sure that I was meeting the moment with them. At the same time, I also had to think about growth and what people were asking for, and what they were really asking for was a voice that would be confident in not only representing them, but representing them as just normal people. So when Lindsey Granger, my co-host, and I were like, 'Hey, we have this time, let's create something,' the first thing I said was, 'If we're going to do this, we're going to see this thing out.' That's when we created [the podcast] Who Cares What We Think. We're almost a year into it now, and that has seen a lot of growth as well.
xoNecole: We're always fascinated with processes and the steps to things. Many of us get stuck because we don't really know the how-to of getting unstuck. So, what's your process in terms of motivating yourself to continue creating your own opportunities and pushing past obstacles.
Erica: Well, I want to be cognizant of not being like, "Well, this is what you should do and [what] everybody should do," [because] obviously not all of these things are going to work for everyone. The genesis of me having my studio and producing comeback was that I had gotten into this pattern where I was laid off about every three years—either my contract wasn't renewed or I just was no longer going to stay with a company.
What I promised to myself was that I was going to find a way to become self-sufficient, because you'll notice when things go left, when things are out of your control —like you're working for someone else and they lay you off, or you're in a situation where there may be one person who can do their job and your job, so now your job becomes obsolete—it's always someone else making those decisions. And six years ago, I decided that no one else was going to make those decisions for me.
When you say that, people generally are like, "OK, but you can't just quit? Are you independently wealthy?" And the answer's no. But when you have to [push through], you always do. So when I had to figure out how I was going to make money as a radio personality who didn't have a radio station to work at, that's when I switched the script. So I always say, look at what your gifts are and look at where your talents lie. What makes you a great candidate to a third party? Why do they want you as a part of their team?
And then really look at that gift for yourself. How can I do what I do best for my own brand and company? There is going to be a niche for you that you can be self-sufficient in. Find your gift that everyone seeks you out for, and then invest in yourself. And when I say invest, that does not mean money. Investing mostly in the beginning is going to mean your time.
xoNecole: So, true! Investing in yourself plays a big part in shifting the plan when there's a major career transition, and you've had several successful ones. What was the common factor that helped you ride through them all?
Erica: I used to own a hair extension company, and it was myself and a partner who was actually in the beauty industry for quite some time. I had decided I was going to do that full-time and take a break from media. So I did that for a couple of years, and we built this store and this brand, and it was something that I was really proud of. It was also the first time that I physically saw something be built from my work, you know. There was an aesthetic piece to it. What I learned from that was there are a lot of elements that certain industries, like health and beauty, [where] they will do these, you know, big conferences and continued education, and anything they needed in order to get new clients or to learn new techniques.
Being in that space made me think about the continuing of education. The truth is, if you're in media, there are so many things that the generation that's coming up behind us know. It's second nature to them—social media marketing, etc. All these things are second nature for them, but for me, it's not. So, it's the idea of always thinking about how you can continue your education and what that means.
The other thing is, I think that people do not give themselves grace, and they expect things to happen overnight.
I stepped away from a job where I had 1.8 million listeners every single morning, but when I started doing content, I was lucky if I got 18 views. And a lot of people made fun of me, and they were like, 'Oh, how the mighty has fallen.' But you know, at the end of the day, I have my own brand, and I was able to increase by 65 percent during a pandemic because I was used to doing this thing consistently and not caring how many people watched it or didn't watch.
So I think that's something that's important, too. Give yourself grace. Don't fall into that 'I'm embarrassed by what's not happening.' Be really proud of what you're able to do because eventually it's all gonna come together.
For more of Erica, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image by Kymora Jaxson Photography
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images