It's easy to feel discouraged when you read about business owners overcoming adversity and how women business owners are crushing it on Black Enterprise, Forbes and Essence, only to find out your breakthrough isn't here yet. As an aspiring womanpreneur yourself, you feel so close yet so far away at the same time.
You constantly compare your business to others to figure out what you are doing wrong, often doubting yourself and your God-given gifts, wondering why you don't have that "it factor" like your competitors, or haven't hit 20K followers on social media yet. You constantly check your email… Nothing. Right after you check your email, you log in to your Paypal account only to still find nothing or not enough for you to survive on. Oh, and let's not forget to mention frequently checking social media only to see very little engagement on your posts. You really thought this would be easier because a lot of people are making it look easy and now you are considering calling it quits.
But before you do that, I need you to take a deep breath and read this. Here are 8 questions to ask yourself when your business breakthrough seems like an eternity away:
Are You Being Honest with Yourself?
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It is time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and time to be honest with yourself. Are you being consistent? For the last 30-90 days, what have you done consistently in your business that will help you generate revenue?
If you study successful business people, they are usually strategically consistent. Sometimes when I feel stumped in business, I need to take a break and have a heart to heart with myself to find out why I am not being consistent or why I'm not following a plan. As creatives, we can get lost easily. Sometimes, sadly, the only consistent thing I am doing is scrolling on social media instead of putting in the essential work needed to level up. Don't beat yourself up about this, just make the change immediately and analyze if you made progress after the changes have been made.
Are You Trying to Do It All Yourself?
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Do you have Superwoman Syndrome and think you can run a business all by yourself? If you do, I have news for you, you are going to burn out. It may not happen today or three months from now, but it will catch up to you. Being a mom, wife, and teacher, I learned this the hard way and like many, when I burnout, I have no choice but to completely shut down.
To add fuel to the fire, you are comparing your business to corporations but you aren't operating like one. Yes, you are great at what you do but you, my love, you are only one person. It may be time to get help. You can't always create greatness alone. Greatness requires a team.
Teamwork makes the dream work isn't just a cute saying. It is the truth.
You may have to partner up with another business owner on a project, look into affiliate marketing, or hire help. Ask yourself who you can work with that will help you scale up.
Are You Operating In Real Time?
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Do you have systems in place, or is that newsletter going out when you feel like it and not on automatic? What about the process when people purchase from you? Are you manually sending out confirmation emails and tracking info?
Having systems in place will make your life easier, alleviate burnout, and make your on-boarding process smoother when hiring help. It can get hectic trying to post on social media, edit videos, connect and follow up potential clients, and/or seek partners all at once. Think about the tasks in your life that you can afford to put on automatic. Lastly, batching helps. Set aside a designated task to complete in a specific time frame.
For example, if you are a blogger, you can batch your blog posts by writing out your content in one setting or batching your photos for the month in a day, and so on. When I batch, I am more efficient and it alleviates overwhelmed feelings while keeping me consistent.
Are You Surrounded By Like-Minded People?
Running a business is hard enough but being overwhelmed and not having other business owners to talk to makes things harder.
When I started my business, I quickly learned that entrepreneurship can be very lonely. However, it doesn't have to be. There are many like-minded women that you can connect with locally or online. Some of my closest business besties are women I have met online.
Are You Only Settling for That Free .99?
Do you keep signing up for freebie after freebie and attending this person's free webinar only to be more confused than when you started?
There's a lot of noise on the internet and it can seriously cause you to lose your focus or make you believe that you need everyone and their best friend's program. Let's be real, you need to take action. If you are going to spend the time to attend a webinar, make sure you implement and execute what you learned or don't bother to waste the time to even attend or sign up. This applies to empowerment brunches and workshops too.
You have to do the work.
Sis, all those notes that you're jotting down need to be executed. Keep reading to learn how to get out of the free .99 mindset.
Are You Investing In Your Business?
Usually, when I invest in my business, whether it is taking a class, hiring a coach, or attending a seminar that I paid for, I make more than the investment back and learn a new skill to implement in my business. For example, with a business coach, I am able to execute my vision with their help faster than if I had to do it alone. Sorry to break it to you, but not having money to invest is not an excuse. I say this because we often get caught up in what we don't have before we focus on what we do have.
Both Google and the library are free resources. If you cannot pay for someone to tell you the information, then you have to take the time to research and learn things through trial and error.
Plus, books are inexpensive. There are tons of great business books written by experts that will teach you a lot in a short time. For example, if you need to learn more about copywriting, email marketing, or Facebook ads, there are books that will give you start. Also, there are free agencies that help new and old businesses. The sba.gov is a great resource. Check out entrepreneurial centers at your local universities and colleges. Some of them offer free one-on-one consults and they offer frequent business classes as well.
Who's Holding You Accountable?
Accountability is huge. When working a traditional job, you usually have a supervisor to report to. Typically, you have an annual review. You are held accountable to the company's standards, but when working for yourself, who is holding you accountable for staying on task and operating your business legally and efficiently?
This tip is often avoided, but it is not hard to find an accountability partner. Sometimes you can find another business owner and you two can make an arrangement to check in on each other for free. Accountability makes a significant difference. It keeps you on track and focused.
If The Time Comes, Can You Walk Away Like A Boss?
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I truly hope it doesn't have to get to this step, but if it does, then exit like a boss. Remember failing isn't always bad. It brings you closer to your success. Many successful business owners failed numerous times before finally getting it.
Before throwing your hard work away, research if anyone is willing to acquire your business. Don't leave anything out, including your domain name. For example, someone may not want to buy your business, but they may be willing to buy your domain name. Sell it if you are honestly done as opposed to letting the domain host make money off of your hard work when it expires.
When stores go out of business, they usually have a going out of business sale and sell everything down to the fixtures. What makes your business any different? One thing I notice is a lot of online businesses go out of business without a strategy. They don't even let their tribe know. You just go to their website and bluntly find out that it's no longer active or the social media handle no longer exists. Operate as a business until the very end.
I hope you found these tips helpful. I know how hard being an entrepreneur can be, but just know that I am rooting for you. We all can win. Let's stop idolizing what we see and start putting in the work on the things that we don't see. Keep being consistent and keep pushing. The world needs you and your business.
You got this girl, now get back to work.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
