

Ready To Try 10 Quick & Easy Immune-Boosting Hacks?
Typically, this is the time of year when we hear the term "immune system" come up quite a bit. That's because, as the temperatures start to drop and the weather becomes more inclement as it relates to harsh winds, sleet and snow, it can start to take a toll on our health. Not to mention the fact that flu season (which usually runs between October thru April) is on the horizon as well.
Yet what actually does our immunity consist of? Well, white blood cells, antibodies, our lymphatic system, spleen, thymus and bone marrow all play a direct role in fighting off germs, viruses, bacteria and anything else that could cause us to catch an infection or get really sick. That's why, it's imperative that we never take our immune system for granted; that we do all that we can to keep it strong and healthy, so that it can combat anything that may try and come our way this fall and winter season. Are you ready to learn 10 relatively easy ways to do just that?
1. Up Your Vitamin C Intake
Let's start with something that actually might be pretty obvious to most of y'all. The reason why I say that is because, probably ever since you were a little girl, your mama (or grandma or auntie) talked about how Vitamin C helps to fight colds. And she would be right.
Something that's interesting about this particular vitamin is your body is unable to produce it; this means that you need to either take it in supplement form or via your diet. It's important that you not skip out on getting Vitamin C into your system because it's an antioxidant that helps to build up your body's defenses, manages your blood pressure, helps to keep your iron levels balanced and, it also helps to increase your white blood cells so that your body is better equipped to fight off infections.
So, how much Vitamin C do you need? Around 90 mg a day is cool. If you feel a cold coming on, you can consume as much as 1,000-2,000 mg before side effects like diarrhea, nausea and abdominal cramping set in. However, it should go on record that close-to-overdosing on Vitamin C, thinking that it will help you, doesn't really do much good. For one thing, you will urinate out what your system doesn't need and, it's not a vitamin that prevents the onset of a cold so much as it speeds up the recovery process once you already have one. As far as the foods that are high in Vitamin C—citrus fruits, broccoli, red and green peppers, tomatoes, white and sweet potatoes, berries and kale and spinach are just some that can give your body a healthy dose of this must-have nutrient.
2. Consume Whole Plant Foods
If you want your immune system to remain uncompromised, you definitely need antioxidants; ones that are able to keep harmful pathogens (bacterium and viruses that trigger disease) at bay while also fighting off free radicals (which damage cells and even DNA) in the process. Something that is loaded with the antioxidants that you need in order to combat both of these health-related issues are whole plant foods. They're the kinds of fruits and vegetables that are considered "whole" because they include very minimal processing. While whole plant eating shouldn't be confused with veganism or vegetarianism, individuals who follow a whole plant diet, typically eat less meat in comparison to their produce intake.
By the way, if you especially make sure to eat fruits and veggies that are high in fiber, that can help to remove toxins out of your system while also providing your gut (which is where 80 percent of your immune system resides) with good bacteria. If eating more whole plant foods is what you're interested in doing, click here for a list of fruits and veggies that are in season during the fall and wintertime.
3. Lay Off of Grain-Based Foods
While inflammation is a topic that deserves its own article, the short version is, it's a natural defense to an injury or illness. While a short-term amount of inflammation is OK, if your body remains in a high state of alert where inflammation-related chemicals continue to flow throughout your system, that can negatively impact your organs and tissues. And guess what can actually trigger an inflammatory response in your body? Grain-based foods. What exactly fits into this category? Bread, pasta, cereal, tortillas and even grits. Listen, I'm not saying you can't eat these things. All I'm saying is if you do and you start to feel a little less than great, cutting back on those types of things could prove to be beneficial. Try it and see.
4. Cook with More Garlic
As far as natural remedies to fight off illnesses go, I'm not sure if there are too many things that top garlic. Since it's a plant that's a part of the Allium (onion) family, this means that garlic has its fair share of sulfur (33 sulfur compounds, to be exact); this is relevant because sulfur is proven to increase your body's resistance to viruses. Garlic is also high in the kind of antioxidants that reduce the amount of oxidative stress that your body produces. It also helps to detoxify heavy metals out of your system, lower your cholesterol levels and cut the time you're sitting with a cold or the flu by as much as 61 percent! Impressive indeed.
5. Drink Some Echinacea Tea
The fall and winter seasons are definitely the time of year when a warm cup of tea (with honey) sounds pretty amazing. If you're trying to figure out which tea you should add to your collection, how about some echinacea? It's actually the kind of tea that is popular for both preventing and shortening the lifespan of a common cold. Plus, it's something that can help to increase the production of your white blood cells so that you are able to ward off infections before they set into your system. Just keep in mind that if you're someone who has an allergic reaction to any flower in the daisy family (ragweed, chrysanthemums, etc.), you might want to pass on this particular tip. Echinacea is a flowering plant that is a part of that family too.
6. Take Some Krill Oil
If you're not familiar with what krill oil is, it's basically an oil that comes from animals like lobsters, crabs and krill (so, if you're allergic to shellfish, you should take a pass on this particular suggestion as well). It's an oil that is gaining traction in popularity because it's loaded with omega-3 fatty acids; in fact, it has a reputation for being more effective than fish oil (which is pretty bomb). The reason why it's a great way to boost your immunity is because krill oil fights bodily inflammation (which again, can lead to illness). As a bonus, krill oil is known to relieve PMS symptoms and soothe aching joints too. If this is something that you'd be interested in trying, click here to read a list of the best brands that are currently on the market.
7. Keep Some Clove Oil on Tap Too
Listen, if you've got a toothache, something that will nip it in the bud is clove oil. I mean, I have never encountered something that will significantly reduce oral pain like it can. OK, but this is about building up your immune system, so let me stay focused. Because cloves contain very potent antibacterial, antiviral, antimicrobial and antifungal properties, it's hailed as being an ultimate natural antiseptic. Whether you opt to put a couple of drops of the oil into your favorite tea to relieve nausea; mix it with a carrier oil like coconut or grapeseed, put it on a cotton ball and rub it on your forehead to open up your blood vessels and bring headache relief; you rub it on chest to break up congestion, or you cook with cloves to boost your immune system, cloves can bring immediate relief to cold-related symptoms in a way that few other all-natural remedies can. If you'd like to incorporate it more into your diet, apple butter, Blueberry Gluhwein (which is basically a fancy mulled wine) or Moroccan-Spiced Carrot Hummus are some creatively delicious DIY ways to get cloves into your system if they're not something that you're used to consuming on the regular.
8. Walk Outdoors
As it gets colder outside, sometimes we want to spend less time outdoors. But actually, it's during cold and flu season that you should be out more than usual. Just because the temperature may be lower, that doesn't make the sun any less effective and Vitamin D is something that we are able to get directly from sunlight. The more Vitamin D you have in your system, the better you'll be at fighting off viral infections including the flu and even COVID-19. In fact, many people who are susceptible to illness are oftentimes lower in Vitamin D than they should be.
And what about the days when it's simply too chilly to step out? No problem. Open up our window treatments. The natural light can get into your house—and body—that way too. What about Vitamin D supplements? You can certainly take those, but it tends to be more effective (on the potency tip) to get your Vitamin D via Mother Nature. (By the way, foods that are high in Vitamin D include cheese, egg yolks, salmon, tuna and mushrooms.)
9. Have Sex
If you follow my byline enough on this platform, you know that I'm gonna shout-out sex, just as much as I possibly can (check out "10 Things Couples Who (Consistently) Have Great Sex Do", "12 Absolutely Bomb Sex Techniques To Try Tonight" and "How About Having A 'Mindful Orgasm' Tonight?", for starters). The reason why sex makes the list for this article is because, believe it or not, it's another way to strengthen your immune system. For one thing, sex helps to increase the antibodies in your system that fight germs and viruses.
On the oral sex tip, check out "Do You Swallow? The Unexpected Health Benefits Of Sperm" to learn how sperm is basically like the ultimate multi-vitamin. There are also studies that couples who engage in coitus, no less than 1-2 times a week, end up producing more Immunoglobulin A (IgA) than those who don't. What the heck is that? Long story short, it's an antibody that helps your mucous membranes to stay in peak condition so that you get sick less often. Not to mention the fact that sex helps to decrease stress levels; the less stressed you are, the stronger your immune system will be. This brings me to my final point.
10. Reduce Your Stress Levels
If you want to make sure that you don't get sick in the upcoming months, you definitely need to do all that you can to prevent your stress levels from increasing. The reason why is because stress has the ability to literally suppress your immunity which makes you much more vulnerable to falling ill. So, make sure that you get no less than 6-8 hours of sleep, that you exercise at least 2-3 times a week, that you set healthy boundaries in your relationships, that you meditate, and that you drink lots of water (water helps to keep the natural stress hormone cortisol from elevating). And finally, chill out and relax. Do these things regularly, and it can help you to stay cold and flu-free and strengthen your immunity, from fall well through the spring.
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (missnosipho@gmail.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
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We’ve all been there at least once (or a few times) along our dating journey. Maybe you’ve had a date or two with a potential suitor, but the spark just wasn’t there. Perhaps you convinced yourself that just “one more” date would help you overlook a non-negotiable ick. At this point in the dating cycle, you’ve probably reached the point where you must decide to either communicate “why” things won’t be moving forward or simply ghost them.
What Is Ghosting?
“Ghosting” refers to the act of suddenly and unexpectedly cutting off all communication with someone you've been dating or talking to without any explanation or further contact. It typically occurs in the early stages of dating but can also happen after a few dates or even in more established relationships.
The act of ghosting has become quite a common practice in our modern dating culture and can manifest in a number of different ways. From days of ignored text messages and phone calls out of the blue to not showing up for pre-arranged plans and sometimes disappearing from someone's life without any notice or explanation.
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The Problem With Ghosting
Being ghosted may seem like a harmless act of “self-choosing,” but the person on the receiving end of your decision can be left feeling confused, rejected, and even abandoned, wondering what happened and where they went wrong.
And we get it, what explanation do you owe someone for leaving after a few cocktails and a $100 date? While that may seem like the perfect opportunity to cut and run, taking an alternative approach to fizzle out a fling is a great time to practice clear and effective communication that can pay off in the long run.
While there is a time and a place for ghosting (and even blocking) if your boundaries have been crossed or safety has been threatened, if we’re looking to live out our best healed, secure-girl summer, there are ways to date freely without leaving others with damage of their own to recover from.
Being honest and upfront about your feelings while being respectful of the other person's time is the best way to leave a situationship or fling with both parties emotionally unscathed. So if you’re looking for ways to break things off with care and consideration, we’ve provided five text scripts to send instead of ghosting somebody’s son:
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5 Texts To Send Instead of Ghosting Them
1. If you want to take the honest but gentle approach:
"Hey [Name], I've really enjoyed getting to know you, but I've been doing some thinking, and I don't see this going any further. I wanted to be upfront and honest with you rather than leaving you wondering. I wish you all the best."
2. If you want to express gratitude before saying goodbye:
"Hi [Name], I wanted to reach out and say thank you for the time we spent together. You're an amazing person, but I think we're better off as friends. I hope you understand and that we can still maintain a positive connection."
3. If you want to leave a note of appreciation:
"Hi [Name], I wanted to let you know that I've had a great time with you, but I don't think we're compatible for a romantic relationship. I appreciate the moments we shared, and I hope we can both find what we're looking for."
4. If a face-to-face convo is needed:
"Hey [Name], I've been doing some thinking, and I believe it's important for us to have an open conversation about where we stand. Can we find some time to talk about our relationship and how we both feel? I think it's important to address things honestly."
5. If you want to keep things cute and concise:
"Hey [Name], I've realized that we're not on the same page, and it's best if we part ways. Take care."
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