Dream Director Danielle D. Hughes Has 5 Life Hacks To Change Your Life
If you want to change or move forward in your life, you have to be willing to seek clarity around what's holding you back. The road to bettering herself, leveling up professionally and personally, and empowering others with how to do so is a journey that native Detroiter, social entrepreneur, and youth advocate Danielle D. Hughes has committed to.
Her debut book Always Make Your Bed, shares seven principles that readers can use to dream it, do it, and get what they want out of life. "The title was inspired by the importance of consistency. People would always ask how to stay encouraged and inspired. It's simple, make your bed." The book explores the science behind having a routine and consistency. In it, Danielle shares the journey and strategies that led her from being least likely to succeed in high school to being a Chief Changemaker in her city and being honored on Forbes' 30 under 30 list for her work in education.
Courtesy of Danielle D. Hughes
The book itself was inspired by Danielle's own becoming story. One day after speaking at a local university in Michigan, 30 young women came up to Danielle asking for mentorship. She didn't have the bandwidth to help every woman who stayed back, but thought writing a book could be a way to share the wisdom she'd acquired along her own journey. Being vulnerable about her challenges wasn't always easy, but Danielle knew that sometimes "the story you want to hide is the story you need to share the most."
After graduating from Georgia State University with a degree in journalism, she struggled to find her passion. After being fired from her first two reporting jobs, she was forced to reckon with what her true purpose was. An idea to start a vision board workshop for local youth fueled her a desire to make helping young people in her community part of her life's work. She went on to co-found a youth-focused Detroit non-profit, Detroit Speaks. Now, Danielle serves as a Dream Director for the Future Project and is responsible for coaching and mentoring students in the Detroit public school system.
"Every single day I try to reconnect to my why. My why is being the person I wish I had when I was younger. It's so fulfilling being able to share with my students the things I wish I had: financial literacy, finding what you're passionate about before you to go to school and get an expensive degree and realize you don't even like it. For them to see someone like me make the Forbes list [opens] up a seed of possibility for them that they can do whatever they want."
xoNecole chatted with Danielle about some of the life-changing, yet simple, principles she teaches in her book. Check out her advice on how you can start living a more impactful life below.
1. Develop a routine (consistency + execution):
"One day I got fed up with myself and said I need to put myself in a routine. Every successful person I knew had a routine. I needed to emulate that because something [must be] working. Consistency breeds consistency. Make sure your foundation is laid and business is handled. Once you become a serial entrepreneur, it's important to make sure that all of your ducks are in a row.
"The two main things that serve as the defining line between being a dreamer and a doer is consistency and execution. As human beings, we struggle with consistency. We'll try something new but if we don't see it working, we're over it and on to the next. That's not how great things are built. Great things take time. Once I started making my bed every morning, I started getting more done in the day and prioritizing my time. It was repeatedly doing one task every day. It's a super simple task: waking up, pulling your sheets back and making your bed. That will lead over into your personal life, business, and whatever else.
"You can be consistent but that doesn't always mean you're executing. Create a task and then finish it. You can work at it every day and still not finish it. We put so much on ourselves for things to be perfect and for it to look a certain way. Done is so much better than perfect any day."
Courtesy of Danielle D. Hughes
"Great things take time. Once I started making my bed every morning, I started getting more done in the day and prioritizing my time. It was repeatedly doing one task every day. It's a super simple task: waking up, pulling your sheets back and making your bed. That will lead over into your personal life, business, and whatever else."
2. Have a strategic vision for your life:
"Having a vision for your life is so important. Without a vision, you're going to just go through life doing the same thing and doing the same normal routine. If that doesn't make you happy, eventually, you'll get burned out and [feel] unfulfilled. Having a strategic vision is [critical]. Write down your daily goals every single day. Get a planner. Check them off. Make sure you're happy. Ask yourself, 'Am I doing this because I want to or am I trying to fulfill someone's else's dream?'"
3. Have a strong financial foundation:
"I've made a lot of financial mistakes. My car got repossessed two years ago because I was mishandling my money. I was young and didn't have any financial literacy. I was making what I thought was a lot of money. I had to work to build back up my credit and savings account. Being a young Black woman, we don't always talk about saving, budgets, and credit in our households. I taught myself when I got older. Make sure you have a handle on your money. Make sure you have at least emergency funds.
"Financial freedom is everything. Cash does really rule everything in the United States. Money rules the world. Everything costs. As much as we hate it, that's what it is. It's so important to know where your money is going. Life happens to all of us. You're going to need something to fall back on. Life is a lot harder when you don't have anything in the bank or low credit. It's easier to get what you want out of life when you have a strong financial foundation."
4. Bounce back from failure:
"I try to be as transparent as possible. I've been fired from every job I ever had, except for two. It happens to all of us. We all deal with something. It's not so much about what happens to you or how you react to it. It's how you bounce back. No one cares about the people who have played it safe and stayed down after getting knocked down. We celebrate and hear about the people who got back up. Those are the people who are the icons and change the world. The ones who go down in history are the people who got back up ten times after being knocked down nine times. No matter what you go through...no matter how big or small, always get back up. There's always something better if you just keep fighting. I've been told 'no' a thousand times more than I've been told 'yes'. I'm going to keep going."
"I've been fired from every job I ever had, except for two. It happens to all of us... It's not so much about what happens to you or how you react to it. It's how you bounce back."
5. Seek a mentor:
"Mentorship is essential for success. I like to consider myself a life-long learner. People that I admire or look up to are all life-long learners. They always tell me to never stop learning. The moment that you feel like you have enough knowledge and know everything, you've failed. I don't have any super close mentors now, but I have a lot of 'virtual' mentors. One of my 'in my head' mentors is Myleik Teele. I also have a group of three close friends. We're all in different industries and they serve as my mentors, too. It's important to note that your relationships change as you change. My entire circle has changed in the last ten years. The people who I now surround myself with every day are most certainly my mentors, advisors, and counselors."
To learn more consistency and life hacks from Always Make Your Bed, visit www.amybbook.com or follow Danielle on Instagram (@danielledhughes).
Proceeds from the sales of Always Make Your Bed will benefit Danielle's newly formed scholarship program the "David Jackson Jr. Scholarship For Emerging Leaders" - a fund that will be used to assist local Detroit youth in their scholastic and entrepreneurial endeavors.
Rana Campbell is a Princeton University graduate, storyteller, content marketing strategist, and the founder and host of Dreams In Drive - a weekly podcast that teaches you how to take your dreams from PARK to DRIVE. She loves teaching others how to use their life stories to inspire action within oneself and others. Connect with her on Instagram @rainshineluv or @dreamsindrive.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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