This September, I heard the words that no one wants to hear: "You've been furloughed." I felt the numbness, confusion, and hopelessness that many humans across the world have experienced in the past several months. While I always knew that being furloughed or laid off was a possibility, I couldn't have prepared for what it felt like to lose my job. However, in October, I heard the words that everyone wants to hear: "You're hired!" Not only was I hired, but I nearly doubled my salary... in a pandemic… exactly one month after I had been furloughed.
The job hunt wasn't easy, but I learned so much along the way and hope that my experience can help others who are dealing with the same fate.
I started by changing my mindset.
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Being furloughed or laid off during a time when the job market has been flipped upside down is a nerve-racking experience. When I heard the news, I knew I had two choices: I could either wallow in my self-doubt, or I could channel all of my newly found energy and free time into finding a new job and advancing my career.
I instantly changed my mindset from viewing the furlough as an L to thinking of it as a chance to level up.
I know positive thinking didn't land me my job, but it did change the way I interacted with interviewers. I believe the genuine and positive energy I brought to each conversation increased my chances of landing the job.
I invested in professional career services.
That's right, invest. Spending extra money after being furloughed was not the easiest decision to make, but I knew it would be an important investment in my future. I am an advocate for LinkedIn premium, so one of the first things I did was reactivate my subscription. I also believe that a professional resume writer can take you very far. There is a lot of conflicting information out there about resumes. Should my resume be one page or two? Is a PDF better than a Word document? How can I beat the ATS system? I left these questions and more to my trusted resume writer who I have been working with for the past three years. Before getting my resume professionally spruced up, I received interviews with 10% of the companies I applied to; after my resume reset, I landed job interviews for 80% of the roles I applied to.
I networked like never before.
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As an introvert, this wasn't easy for me. A few hours after I was furloughed, I sent out emails to people in my network, letting them know what happened and asking them if they would be willing to connect. Every person I reached out to was more than willing to help. I also joined Slack channels like #HIREBlack and connected with recruiters from companies I wanted to work with. Finally, I used the Paying It Forward worksheet to meet allies who are top execs at some of the biggest companies in the world. Although my job offer didn't come from a referral, connecting with people opened up my pool of options and let me know I had a safety net to fall back on.
I became comfortable with rejection.
And I was rejected A LOT. But I 100% believe that every 'no' gets you closer to the perfect 'yes'. Because I knew from the beginning that rejection is a part of the process, I was able to bounce back immediately after every rejection email. Rejection stings, but getting to the interview stage at any company is an accomplishment in itself and assured me that I was on the right track and was competitive in the pool of applicants.
I prioritized self-care.
ShutterstockDuring the first week of my job search, I made the mistake of spending 100% of my time applying, interviewing and networking. I would wake up in the middle of the night to check LinkedIn or read interviewing tips. This was not only unhealthy but also unsustainable. I decided to treat my job search like a 9-5 work day. I blocked off time on my calendar for job searching and interviewing and I also scheduled time to do things completely unrelated to finding a new position. I focused on getting enough sleep, doing something that made me happy each day, and meditating to calm my frazzled nerves.
Taking care of my mind and body allowed me to be more present and deliberate during the times dedicated to the job search.
I want to be clear, my job search wasn't perfect. I low-balled myself, I missed emails, I didn't rely on my support system as much as I could have. But because I invested in myself and my network, I was able to find a company and hiring manager that believe in diversity, equity and inclusion.
Ultimately, being furloughed was a blessing in disguise for me. It forced me out of my comfort zone and showed me that greater things are available and achievable. If you've been furloughed or laid off, I hope my journey inspires you to not give up and know that the next big thing for you is right around the corner.
Featured image by Shutterstock
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
