Tour Marketing Maven Domonique Shante's Earthy ATL Abode
In xoNecole's Dope Abodes, we tour the living spaces of millennial women, where they dwell, how they live, and the things they choose to adorn and share their spaces with.
The stay-at-home struggle isn't nearly as stressful when you actually like where you live, which is exactly why Atlanta-based plant mom Domonique Shante has carefully curated a simple sanctuary that meets her needs in all the best ways.
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Before the pandemic, Domonique invited xoNecole into her dope abode for an exclusive home tour where she gave us all the details on how to make your home a hub for creativity, which, according to this marketing manager starts with making your space your own. "I wanted to slowly put together a more eclectic feel. Because when I first moved in, it was very minimalistic and everything was cream. I liked that but it's not super practical to keep that up and it just got kind of boring after a while."
"I started l switching things up and putting things in different random places," Dominique explained, "Like my 'Brainstorm Boulevard' sign––I found that a marketing trade show––and I just threw that in there."
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As the creator of the Livre Cafe, an online book club community with a focus on Black literature and art, the budding horticulturist says that she often retreats to her creative corner whenever she's feeling inspired. A dedicated plant mom, artist, and book enthusiast, Domonique shared that because she wears so many creative hats, it was important that her dwelling keep that same energy. She told xoNecole, "It's a very open space, like a blank canvas. I get to do whatever I want with it."
We talked more with Domonique about her museum of books, why every home needs a creative corner, and how she keeps more than 15 house plants alive and thriving at the same damn time. Here's what we learned:
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Book Club
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Reading represents a large part of Domonique's identity. As an avid reader, she has a goal to read at least 30 books a year. That passion was partially what led to her founding her company, Livre Cafe. The other part? A lack of representation. "I've always been a reader. I've always loved reading. And it got to the point where I would go out, I would buy books, I would see what's popular, what should I read next. And it was all either white artists or white writers or white adjacent. So I was like, you know what, I'm gonna just put it put together a blog so everybody can have at least a syllabus or somewhere to refer to you if they want it to read Black stories by Black people."
Her love of Black literature also lends itself to a lot of her apartment's decor choices. "I like to use my favorite things as decorations. I like plants as decorations. I love to even use books as decorations, and I change things around a lot. So, I strategically placed certain books in certain places just as representations of who I think I am."
Nature Feels
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The 29-year-old considers her 15 plants her babies and named them all, sometimes after writers she loves. From the fiddle-leaf fig named Malachi to the snake plant and pearl plant named Audre Lorde and James Baldwin respectively, her creativity drips even from the leaves of the unique decorations that line her place.
For anyone who desires to hone their green thumb, Domonique offered this sage advice: "The easiest way to become a plant mom is to buy two plants, learn what your plants are, and learn how to take care of them. Once you master the plant that you have, or the plants if you want two––I always say get two to start––but once you master the ones you have, then you become more comfortable and you can get more."
Around The Globe
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Domonique incorporates tangible memories she brings back from her travels into her space as well. She noted an eclectic cushion she got from Morocco as well as bookends she brought from her time in Wales and Amsterdam as standout decor pieces that add color and texture to her home while adding a one-of-kind piece of history.
The Creative Nook
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The living room of Domonique's two-bedroom apartment is one of her favorite spaces for a couple of reasons. Not only is it the focal point of her plant haven and extensive book sanctuary, it also doubles as her own creative space. "When I tell you this is my favorite spot in the house, this is my favorite spot," Domonique explained. "I haven't painted in a long time but I used to, that used to be part of my routine. I would come home, sit down for a minute, read, and then try to finish a painting. I still have three unfinished paintings over there that I haven't touched."
The Connecticut native's weapon of choice is acrylic on canvas, something she fell into because of the matriarch of her family. "My grandmother was an artist, so I used to paint with her and then I stopped. I don't really know why. She would buy me all these supplies and I just didn't do it. And it wasn't until actually after she died and she left me a bunch of her supplies, I brought them back home from Connecticut and I was like, 'I want to paint something.' And I just started painting after that."
Tuned-In
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"My newest thing is my record player. I love it. My first record is a comedy record by Jimmy Walker. I'm a huge Good Times fan. So that's like one of my favorite things in my house right now other than my plants."
Click through the gallery below to tour her dope abode, as well as some of the intimate details that make her apartment feel like home:
For more of Domonique, follow her here!
Featured image by Terrence Porter for xoNecole.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images