12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.
While a lot of people seem to think that getting a massage is more of a luxury than a necessity, when you stop to ponder all of the benefits that come with getting one, I would certainly beg to differ. Receiving a massage from a reputable massage therapist is able to do everything from decrease your stress levels and reduce pain and tension throughout your body to increase flexibility, improve your sleep patterns, boost your immune system and put you in a much better mood—even after only one session.
So, if you're someone who gets them on the regular, and there is a part of you that feels a little guilty due to the price tag, please don't. You are doing your mind, body and spirit a world of good by booking those appointments. On the other hand, if you've never gotten a massage before (or it's been years since you've had one), take a moment to check out 12 different types of massages (this is just some; believe it or not, there are actually several more) that are specifically designed to treat whatever it is that (physically) ails you.
12 Different Types Of Massages
1. Swedish Massage
Even though the Swedish massage is probably the most popular one out of this particular bunch, the something new that I learned is only English- and Dutch-speaking countries call it that; everywhere is, it's referred to as being the "classic massage". It consists of five basic massage strokes—gliding, kneading, tapping, cross-fibers and vibration—and it's great at relieving muscle discomfort, joint stiffness and lower back pain.
A Swedish massage typically takes somewhere between 30-90 minutes and is an awesome option if you're someone who happens to have never experienced the pleasure of a professional massage before.
2. Deep Tissue Massage
The easiest way to describe a deep tissue massage is it's a Swedish one that has more pressure applied to it. The people who request this type of treatment are usually those who experience chronic muscle pain, a sports injury or some type of strain, along with the anxiety that this type of discomfort might produce. Slower strokes with more intense finger pressure are what typically happens.
This is usually a full body massage that lasts between 60-90 minutes. Oh, and although deep tissue is noticeably more intense, you shouldn't feel additional soreness once your therapist is done (not if they really know what they are doing, anyway).
3. Cupping
While there honestly isn't a ton of scientific data to support cupping, it's still a fan favorite for many; one that has been used for centuries. It's all about a massage therapist locating a super tight or sore part of your body, placing a suction cup over it and letting it remain there until blood rushes to the area in order to ultimately bring about relief. There are basically three different types of cupping techniques to choose from. Dry cupping is when cups that are between 1"-3" inches in diameter are placed onto your body (it's the most common method). Fire cupping is when a glass cup is lit on fire and then placed on top of your body. Then there is wet cupping; it's all about a professional literally making an incision into your skin in order to significantly increase blood circulation and remove toxins from your system (apparently, it's quite popular in Islamic culture).
Those who are looking for a temporary pain management method will usually sign up for cupping. Just keep in mind that the process typically takes around an hour. Also, it's very common for bruises to be left behind after your session (they usually go away after a couple of days).
4. Reflexology
Personally, I'm a HUGE fan of reflexology. It's when pressure is applied to pressure points like your hands, feet and ears. When I've had it done on my feet, it was crazy how I could feel certain parts of my body respond to the massage itself (because there are literally several thousand nerve endings per each sole; many that are connected to various organs, etc.). Reflexology is dope because it can do everything from relax your nerves and reduce headaches to increase blood circulation and give you an energy boost.
A reflexology session usually lasts between 30-60 minutes and is a great alternative if you'd prefer to not have a full-on massage experience like many of these other options provide.
5. Acupuncture
A massage method that is directly attributed to ancient Chinese medicine is acupuncture. While it doesn't have a ton of scientific data to back it up, many professionals and clients alike are very fond of this particular approach. It's all about inserting very thin needles into various meridian points of your body in order to manage stress and relieve pain. It's very common for individuals with recurring headaches, dental pain, respiratory disorders, back pain and even menstrual cramps to use this approach.
If the mere thought of a needle freaks you out, an alternative method is acupressure, which is basically acupuncture without the use of needles. As far as how long this kind of session is, it's really based on how many needles your massage therapist feels like you need in order for you to receive maximum results.
6. Myofascial
The technical term for this particular kind of massage is myofascial release. It's when the fibrous connective tissues, which are right underneath your skin (and right above your muscle), are massaged in order to break the tissue down so that you feel less tight. Oftentimes this type of massage incorporates instruments like a foam roller, tennis ball and/or a body bar.
Myofascial release normally lasts around 30 minutes and can either be performed by a massage therapist or you can even try it on your own at home. For tips on how to do it yourself, click here.
7. Shiatsu Massage
Knowledge is power, right? When I went to look up the origin of the word, apparently, it means "finger pressure" in the Japanese language. While this is the kind of massage that can include your entire body, oftentimes a massage therapist will put a lot of focus, especially, on your hands, fingers and thumbs in order to increase endorphins (so that pain levels will decrease), lower your blood pressure and heart rate, help to balance out your hormones, improve your coordination and give you more energy.
Many people with chronic pain, sinus issues or sleep disorders enjoy this particular method. A shiatsu massage lasts for between 30-90 minutes, depending on how severe your issues may be.
8. Biodynamic Massage
Biodynamic is a type of massage that is rooted in pseudoscience (something that isn't based on specific scientific standards). What's so cool about this particular method is it's all about getting your digestive system back on track; since your digestive tract helps your system to process food easily and effectively, and also better "digest" emotional stressors too, that's why this approach can be so beneficial.
If you sign up for a biodynamic massage, your massage therapist will apply certain touch techniques that will affect everything from your skin and fascia to your bones and muscles. This massage usually requires somewhere around an hour of your time.
9. Prenatal Massage
Any woman who's been pregnant before knows that the body goes through some significant transitions throughout all three trimesters. Sometimes the muscle soreness and joint pain that comes as the result of your body continually making room for your little one to grow is enough to keep you up all hours of the night and super irritated all throughout the day. One way to provide some immediate relief is getting a prenatal massage. It's the kind of massage that's specifically designed for pregnant women and typically consists of mild pressure being applied to a woman's back, hips and legs.
A prenatal massage usually happens while you're on your side or face down on a massage table that has a hole to accommodate your baby bump. As far as how long this one lasts, it's somewhere between 45-60 minutes.
10. Aromatherapy Massage
If you're feeling particularly stressed out on the emotional tip, you should definitely consider booking an aromatherapy massage appointment. The reason why I say that is because it's all about relieving anxiety, improving your mood and reducing depression-related symptoms. Based on what you feel is emotionally bothering you, your massage therapist will incorporate an essential oil that will help to bring about relief. Basically, you will not only have some of the oil (or oils) applied to your skin, but there will be a diffuser for you to inhale the scent(s) from while you're getting your massage too.
Aromatherapy massages usually take somewhere around an hour and are full body ones. Definitely something to keep in mind, if you're super shy about totally disrobing.
11. Amatsu Massage
Amatsu massage is a method that is birthed out of the Japanese culture. During this massage, your therapist will use small body range motions in order to loosen up tightened tendons, joints, ligaments or muscles. A principle of this particular massage is when structure, emotion, energy, nutrition and environment are brought back into balance, your body will become less tense.
A thorough amatsu massage needs about an hour. It's also one of the least invasive methods of massage therapy.
12. Couples Massage
The only thing that makes partaking of one of these massages even better is if you invite your boo to join you. Couple massages are dope because they're a quality time date that provides a truly great way to reconnect with your partner. Plus, since massages are an ultimate de-stressor, by mutually having your cortisol (your natural stress hormone) levels drop, your libido is able to increase which can make for a really good night, once you both get off of the table. #wink
So, if you've got a significant other, do you and your sex life a favor and book a massage appointment for the both of you to enjoy together. It's a thoughtful date that is as sexy as it is healthy for you both. Treat yourself. ASAP.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?
German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” At close to two decades of working with married couples, I agree with this man 1000 percent. It’s actually the main motivation for why I once penned, “Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?” because, the reality is, if you’re not friends with the person who you vowed to share every aspect of your life with, for the rest of your life, it’s going to be very difficult (if not damn near impossible) to honor that level of commitment. Without question, I will now and forever die on the hill that if you like your partner, you can make it through the not-so-in-love-right-now moments. Vice versa? Eh…not so much.
A basis for why I feel this way? Another quote immediately comes to mind. Famed author Jane Austen once wrote: “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” You know, back when I also wrote “10 Things You Should Absolutely Expect From Your Friendships” for the platform, I shared that some of the traits of a friend — a real friend — include loyalty, honesty and compassion. And if you can’t say that your spouse is this way (as they say the same thing about you), chile…what is y’all doin’ over there?
So, why am I talking about marriage when this article is supposed to be about friendship? It’s because, something that life has taught me, kinda sorta the hard way, is we should vet potential friends — especially close friends — almost like we would a spouse.
And if you keep reading, I think you’ll get why I framed the intro in the way that I did.
Why Friendships Are Still Hella Essential
GiphyOkay, so before I get into why it seems that people have fewer friends than they ever had before, let me just say that, even as an ambivert who enjoys my own company and has absolutely no problem with being alone a good amount of the time, every personality type needs friends. That’s not just my opinion;science makes it a fact. Not only do studies support thathealthy friendships help us to feel more satisfied with our lives, but they can also reduce our chances of experiencing depression, stress, and anxiety and they increase longevity overall.
This is why — without going too deep because it’s kind of another topic for another time — it’s important to not allow past hurts and disappointments from former friends (or folks you thought were your friends) to cause you to build up walls as you declare that you don’t need anyone. When you do that, all you’re really doing is working against your own health and well-being. The saying that “no man (or woman) is an island”? It is absolutely true.
That said, even if it’s just a couple of people, make sure that you’ve got individuals in your life who you can call a friend and, in turn, they can say the very same thing about you, okay?
Are All of Those People Your Actual Friends? Or Do You Just Happen to Know a Lot of Folks?
GiphyAight but what if you happen to be someone who swings on the other side of few? Meaning, if someone were to ask you how many friends you had, you’d quickly declare that you’ve got too many to count. Listen, not to patronize or anything yet, but whenever I hear folks (especially if they are over 35) say something along those lines, it takes me back to high school — a time when so many of us thought that so long as we knew a ton of folks and/or we were popular, clearly, we had many friends.
Wisdom and pure ole’ dealing with humans on a consistent basis will teach you that an article that I wrote a few years back for the platform has a title that is spot-on: “According To Experts, We Only Have A Few Friends — Here's Why.” According to it, the average American (based on a survey that was conducted) has somewhere around 16 friends. Oh, but wait. Last fall, I wrote another article for the platform entitled, “What's The 'Five Friendship Theory' All About?” According to it, if you’re someone who takes the word “friend” and the responsibility that comes along with it very seriously and quite literally, as an adult, you can probably only maintain about five close friendships.
Why? Well, that brings in another article that I once wrote: “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient.'” Chile, I don’t know about y’all but my friends know that if I call you that, you can call me in the middle of the night, and you can have money towards your rent (I’m not your mama but we all have hard times sometimes) and I’m gonna have your back in a way where you’ll wonder where you stop and I start — and no, I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for a ton of those people.
Okay, but what if you’re someone who is like, “I know that I have more than 16 and definitely more than five friends, no question”? The next thing that I would encourage you to explore is a theory by Aristotle (check out “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends”). Without even realizing it, many of us have people who we use the word “friend” for when…it’s kind of like how social media apps say “friend”: we’re familiar with one another and enjoy some of the same things, we might even have some of the same goals; at the same time, though, we’re not “all-encompassing friends.” We just get along really well at work (utility friends) or like to go to brunch at the same spots sometimes (pleasure friends).
Taking all of this into account, are you sure that you have a ton of actual friends? Or do you just happen to know a lot of people and you use that word for the lack of having another?
And that brings me to my next point.
There’s A LOT of Space Between “Friend” and “Enemy”
GiphyIf you read a lot of my friendship content, something that you will notice me saying quite a bit is that there is quite a bit of space between friend and enemy. It needs to be mentioned, as often as possible, because there are some people who get offended if you don’t consider them to be a friend — and that is unfortunate. I say that because the conclusion shouldn’t automatically be that they are your enemy just because “friend” isn’t what immediately comes to your mind.
They can be an acquaintance. They can be “cool people.” There is someone in my life who, while we’re not friends in the traditional sense, we are each other’s confidant; years ago, we agreed that we would be the place to tell each other whatever and it would stay between us — that is the main purpose that we serve in each other’s lives. Some people, you may consider to be spiritual family in the sense that you care for them and have some deeply profound things in common and still, they are not exactly a friend (I mean, a lot of blood relatives aren’t “friends” with each other).
All I’m trying to say here is we’re all too old now to only put folks in two boxes when it comes to this particular relational dynamic: friend or enemy. So, take some time out to seriously reflect on what you consider the various people in your life to be. I can promise you from personal experience that the sooner you know and the clearer you are, the easier it will be on everybody — because needs and expectations will be clear to you (and them once you articulate them) too.
What Got Folks to Having Less Friends? The Pandemic Plays a Significant Part.
GiphySo finally on to what inspired this piece to begin with. A part of it was an article that was published last year by Big Think entitled, “Americans more than ever have no friends. Here are 5 steps to make more friends.” Another was something that The New Yorker published back in 2021; it’s entitled “What COVID did to friendship.” Y’all don’t have enough time and I don’t have enough space to get into the fact that, just because the media may be talking about it less, that doesn’t mean that we’re not still in a pandemic.
In fact,one article stated my thoughts on it quite well when it said, “The real question, then, is not whether COVID is still a pandemic, but how much COVID illness and death are we willing to accept?” SMDH. And one of the things that has come with experiencing COVID is an interesting type of PTSD: detachment. There are plenty of articles out here to support the fact that my saying that is not merely my opinion.
Even according to the American Psychological Association, loneliness damn near skyrocketed, especially during lockdown and, unfortunately, a lot of people have not recovered from it. That’s why it did not surprise me at all when I read that more than ever, many people do not consider anyone to be a best friend; fewer people are relying on friends for any type of real support, and there is a semi-steady decline in people having friends, especially quality friendships, overall.
In fact, as far as close friends go, currently, close to 50 percent of Americans say that they only have three or fewer, and a relevant contributor to that was what the pandemic revealed as far as people’s proactive participation in other individuals’ lives (I actually read that young women were the ones who lost touch with friends during the peak of the pandemic the most). I also thought it was interesting that some studies cite that 12 percent of Americans say that they don’t have any friends at all.
Is the pandemic the only cause? No. So are things like people working more hours and spending more time online than they probably should (which also increased due to the pandemic, though). To that, Teen Vogue once published, “Social Media Is Impacting IRL Friendships” and Healthline once published, “Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships.” Then we also have to factor in having families of our own which can also take up a lot of time, and that sometimes can cause us to forget to nurture our friendships; so, before you know it, they fade to black. Not due to a fallout or anything, just…life.
And all of this? Some people are saying that it has led to what is known as a “friendship recession.” A huge flag about that is there are reports that a drop in close friends can cultivate a type of loneliness that is just as health hazardous as smoking a whopping 15 cigarettes a day. Not good, y’all. Not. Good.
Quality over Quantity Is Key. Just Make Sure That You Have a Friend or Two.
GiphyOkay, so what is my overall point? That’s a fair question. Just like sometimes “life life-ing” can make us forget to tend to our friendships, if you don’t stumble across content like this, you might not even realize that you’re feeling mentally stressed, emotionally strained, or super isolated and it’s all because you need to prioritize your friendships — because your mind, body, and spirit need them. Again, science has proved it.
At the same time, if, like a client of mine, you find yourself getting a little bit paranoid because you have noticed that over the past several years, your close friend count has been far less than what it used to be, this article proves that you are absolutely not (pardon the pun) alone. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with having a very small circle of friends because quality is gonna beat out quantity every time; you just need to assess when it happened and why so that you can be sure that you are choosing it to play out that way and it’s not due to some underlying cause that you hadn’t taken into consideration — until now.
An Italian priest by the name of Thomas Aquinas once said, “The happy man in this life needs friends.” Even if it’s just one or two people, please make sure that you have folks who aren’t just your friend but your very close friend. You need them. They need you.
Everyone else, figure out where they fall and nurture accordingly. Life is a lot. We all get by with the help of our friends. Real talk, y’all. Thank goodness for them.
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