12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.
While a lot of people seem to think that getting a massage is more of a luxury than a necessity, when you stop to ponder all of the benefits that come with getting one, I would certainly beg to differ. Receiving a massage from a reputable massage therapist is able to do everything from decrease your stress levels and reduce pain and tension throughout your body to increase flexibility, improve your sleep patterns, boost your immune system and put you in a much better mood—even after only one session.
So, if you're someone who gets them on the regular, and there is a part of you that feels a little guilty due to the price tag, please don't. You are doing your mind, body and spirit a world of good by booking those appointments. On the other hand, if you've never gotten a massage before (or it's been years since you've had one), take a moment to check out 12 different types of massages (this is just some; believe it or not, there are actually several more) that are specifically designed to treat whatever it is that (physically) ails you.
12 Different Types Of Massages
1. Swedish Massage
Even though the Swedish massage is probably the most popular one out of this particular bunch, the something new that I learned is only English- and Dutch-speaking countries call it that; everywhere is, it's referred to as being the "classic massage". It consists of five basic massage strokes—gliding, kneading, tapping, cross-fibers and vibration—and it's great at relieving muscle discomfort, joint stiffness and lower back pain.
A Swedish massage typically takes somewhere between 30-90 minutes and is an awesome option if you're someone who happens to have never experienced the pleasure of a professional massage before.
2. Deep Tissue Massage
The easiest way to describe a deep tissue massage is it's a Swedish one that has more pressure applied to it. The people who request this type of treatment are usually those who experience chronic muscle pain, a sports injury or some type of strain, along with the anxiety that this type of discomfort might produce. Slower strokes with more intense finger pressure are what typically happens.
This is usually a full body massage that lasts between 60-90 minutes. Oh, and although deep tissue is noticeably more intense, you shouldn't feel additional soreness once your therapist is done (not if they really know what they are doing, anyway).
3. Cupping
While there honestly isn't a ton of scientific data to support cupping, it's still a fan favorite for many; one that has been used for centuries. It's all about a massage therapist locating a super tight or sore part of your body, placing a suction cup over it and letting it remain there until blood rushes to the area in order to ultimately bring about relief. There are basically three different types of cupping techniques to choose from. Dry cupping is when cups that are between 1"-3" inches in diameter are placed onto your body (it's the most common method). Fire cupping is when a glass cup is lit on fire and then placed on top of your body. Then there is wet cupping; it's all about a professional literally making an incision into your skin in order to significantly increase blood circulation and remove toxins from your system (apparently, it's quite popular in Islamic culture).
Those who are looking for a temporary pain management method will usually sign up for cupping. Just keep in mind that the process typically takes around an hour. Also, it's very common for bruises to be left behind after your session (they usually go away after a couple of days).
4. Reflexology
Personally, I'm a HUGE fan of reflexology. It's when pressure is applied to pressure points like your hands, feet and ears. When I've had it done on my feet, it was crazy how I could feel certain parts of my body respond to the massage itself (because there are literally several thousand nerve endings per each sole; many that are connected to various organs, etc.). Reflexology is dope because it can do everything from relax your nerves and reduce headaches to increase blood circulation and give you an energy boost.
A reflexology session usually lasts between 30-60 minutes and is a great alternative if you'd prefer to not have a full-on massage experience like many of these other options provide.
5. Acupuncture
A massage method that is directly attributed to ancient Chinese medicine is acupuncture. While it doesn't have a ton of scientific data to back it up, many professionals and clients alike are very fond of this particular approach. It's all about inserting very thin needles into various meridian points of your body in order to manage stress and relieve pain. It's very common for individuals with recurring headaches, dental pain, respiratory disorders, back pain and even menstrual cramps to use this approach.
If the mere thought of a needle freaks you out, an alternative method is acupressure, which is basically acupuncture without the use of needles. As far as how long this kind of session is, it's really based on how many needles your massage therapist feels like you need in order for you to receive maximum results.
6. Myofascial
The technical term for this particular kind of massage is myofascial release. It's when the fibrous connective tissues, which are right underneath your skin (and right above your muscle), are massaged in order to break the tissue down so that you feel less tight. Oftentimes this type of massage incorporates instruments like a foam roller, tennis ball and/or a body bar.
Myofascial release normally lasts around 30 minutes and can either be performed by a massage therapist or you can even try it on your own at home. For tips on how to do it yourself, click here.
7. Shiatsu Massage
Knowledge is power, right? When I went to look up the origin of the word, apparently, it means "finger pressure" in the Japanese language. While this is the kind of massage that can include your entire body, oftentimes a massage therapist will put a lot of focus, especially, on your hands, fingers and thumbs in order to increase endorphins (so that pain levels will decrease), lower your blood pressure and heart rate, help to balance out your hormones, improve your coordination and give you more energy.
Many people with chronic pain, sinus issues or sleep disorders enjoy this particular method. A shiatsu massage lasts for between 30-90 minutes, depending on how severe your issues may be.
8. Biodynamic Massage
Biodynamic is a type of massage that is rooted in pseudoscience (something that isn't based on specific scientific standards). What's so cool about this particular method is it's all about getting your digestive system back on track; since your digestive tract helps your system to process food easily and effectively, and also better "digest" emotional stressors too, that's why this approach can be so beneficial.
If you sign up for a biodynamic massage, your massage therapist will apply certain touch techniques that will affect everything from your skin and fascia to your bones and muscles. This massage usually requires somewhere around an hour of your time.
9. Prenatal Massage
Any woman who's been pregnant before knows that the body goes through some significant transitions throughout all three trimesters. Sometimes the muscle soreness and joint pain that comes as the result of your body continually making room for your little one to grow is enough to keep you up all hours of the night and super irritated all throughout the day. One way to provide some immediate relief is getting a prenatal massage. It's the kind of massage that's specifically designed for pregnant women and typically consists of mild pressure being applied to a woman's back, hips and legs.
A prenatal massage usually happens while you're on your side or face down on a massage table that has a hole to accommodate your baby bump. As far as how long this one lasts, it's somewhere between 45-60 minutes.
10. Aromatherapy Massage
If you're feeling particularly stressed out on the emotional tip, you should definitely consider booking an aromatherapy massage appointment. The reason why I say that is because it's all about relieving anxiety, improving your mood and reducing depression-related symptoms. Based on what you feel is emotionally bothering you, your massage therapist will incorporate an essential oil that will help to bring about relief. Basically, you will not only have some of the oil (or oils) applied to your skin, but there will be a diffuser for you to inhale the scent(s) from while you're getting your massage too.
Aromatherapy massages usually take somewhere around an hour and are full body ones. Definitely something to keep in mind, if you're super shy about totally disrobing.
11. Amatsu Massage
Amatsu massage is a method that is birthed out of the Japanese culture. During this massage, your therapist will use small body range motions in order to loosen up tightened tendons, joints, ligaments or muscles. A principle of this particular massage is when structure, emotion, energy, nutrition and environment are brought back into balance, your body will become less tense.
A thorough amatsu massage needs about an hour. It's also one of the least invasive methods of massage therapy.
12. Couples Massage
The only thing that makes partaking of one of these massages even better is if you invite your boo to join you. Couple massages are dope because they're a quality time date that provides a truly great way to reconnect with your partner. Plus, since massages are an ultimate de-stressor, by mutually having your cortisol (your natural stress hormone) levels drop, your libido is able to increase which can make for a really good night, once you both get off of the table. #wink
So, if you've got a significant other, do you and your sex life a favor and book a massage appointment for the both of you to enjoy together. It's a thoughtful date that is as sexy as it is healthy for you both. Treat yourself. ASAP.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
From Heartbreak To Healing: The Multifaceted Journey Of Nazanin Mandi
Nazanin Mandi is never out of options.
About a year ago, the 37-year-old life coach and actress was navigating life after divorce and determined to experience homeownership for the first time as a single woman. She’d been married to the R&B singer Miguel for three years, following a long-term relationship that started when she was 18 years old. But, in 2022, she filed for divorce. It was certainly the most public change she made but, in reality, it was just one of many decisions to refocus and reach her full potential in recent years.
“During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been,” she says in an xoNecole exclusive.
Still, as Mandi worked to get to know herself and her needs during this new phase of life, she realized the home she’d purchased wasn’t a good fit. Overwhelmed by the echoing of her voice in the spacious home, she had a breakdown and called her cousin, who immediately suggested she lease the home and live somewhere else. “I woke up in my house, and I was like, ‘This is not it for me,” she says. “All those years, I had been accustomed to living a certain way [and] in a certain house, so I bought myself a house like [my old home]. But my family was not the same. Waking up in that house by myself, it highlighted the divorce. I was like, ‘Oh, no, we can’t do this. This is not it.’ My life has changed, so my choices need to change.” At that moment, Mandi became open to the idea that there wasn’t one set way to achieve ownership on her own.
“I feel so much better. I’m in a smaller place. My best friend lives a minute from me and I can walk to her house,” she tells me during a Zoom interview from her home one recent afternoon in early February. In the past two years, she hasn’t just been advising other people on varying circumstances, she’s also been healing herself.
"During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been."
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If supporters began following Nazanin Mandi because of her conventional beauty or the contagious, bright, white smile she often wears in many of her photos, that’s likely not the reason they’ve stuck around. Instead, she’s amassed a following based on her transparency about her own anxiety and depression, along with the encouraging messages of self-acceptance, gratitude, ambition, and humility that are often sprinkled into her social media posts.
In an era where looking at Instagram photos of models can often lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity, Nazanin Mandi is determined to be more than eye candy. She’s food for her follower’s souls, too.
Since being recruited to model while dining at an In-N-Out at 10 years old, Mandi has worked in many areas of entertainment. The Valencia, California native has modeled for brands such as Olay, Savage X Fenty, and Good American. As a teen, she sang at Carnegie Hall and auditioned for season 1 of American Idol, making it all the way to Hollywood before producers disqualified her for lying about her age. (Mandi was 15 at the time, and contestants had to be at least 16 years old.) Mandi has acted, too, including appearing on Disney’s That’s So Raven as a teenager and on the BET+ series Games People Play and the Prime series Á La Carte in more recent years.
In recent years, though, she’s also expanded her professional goals outside of entertainment, too. After becoming a certified life coach in 2020, Mandi launched the membership platform You Bloome in 2022 with the hopes of providing wellness services to others, including her self-published gratitude journal. “I wish I had access to something like You Bloome earlier in my own life,” she writes on the company’s website. The actress, who has been forthcoming about her struggles with anxiety and depression, has never had a life coach, but credits therapy as a tool that “really, really saved me and it laid the foundation to who I am becoming.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
"I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself."
While she’s always had a nurturing personality, Mandi says her interest in becoming a life coach was inspired by the women who would message her for advice on social media. “I would answer them back. It really sparked a fire within myself to help people,” she says.
You Bloome currently has three membership tiers, ranging in price from $2.99 to $39.99 per month. The highest tier offers a motivational text message twice a week, two live, group coaching sessions per month, and more. “We get emotional. We cry. We laugh. It’s really beautiful. I’ve built close relationships with my members through this. It’s been inspiring both ways,” Mandi says of the sessions. Still, the founder says she hopes to take on more motivational and keynote speaking opportunities in the future with the hopes of impacting as many people as possible.
And, she’s hoping to do all of this while continuing to explore a career as an entertainer.
At this point in her life, Mandi says she’s gained enough perspective on modeling, music, and acting to realize what she wants to prioritize moving forward. “We are going full force with acting,” she says, noting her goal is “to book a series regular or a film that impacts my career and the world.” She plans to continue to model, too, but has no desire to pursue music.
“I don’t want any part of that because I know what that life entails,” she says. “I don’t want to tour. I don’t want to do any of that. That is not where my heart is at.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If you ask Mandi, she’ll tell you she feels most comfortable in front of a camera, but she’ll also admit that she’s recently experienced a lot of imposter syndrome when thinking about her acting career. “I think it’s a fear of not succeeding,” she says. If anything, she adds, she’s harder on herself now than she’s ever been. “There were distractions before. There’s no distractions now,” she says. “I’m putting pressure on myself for no reason.”
This is where the life coach’s own personal healing comes into play. Mandi says she’s learning recently that “slow progress is still big progress at the end of the day.”
“Currently, I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself,” she adds.
Still, one of Mandi’s strengths is that she doesn’t feel the pressure to limit herself to just one passion. From working as a life coach to pursuing acting, she has given herself grace to explore all other dreams.
“We can be allowed to be many different things in this lifetime,” she says. “As people, our identities are allowed to expand. Don’t put us in a fucking box. I cannot live that way anymore.”
For more of Nazanin, follow her on Instagram @nazaninmandi.
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Featured image by Solmaz Saberi
12 Women Speak On Signs That You're Getting Married For The WRONG Reasons
If there’s one saying that low-key irks me, it’s “Everything happens for a reason.” Duh, and you don’t say. I don’t even know why that is supposed to come off as being any type of profound, do you? Nah, to me, I think life should be about “everything happening with a purpose,” — and that’s why, when it comes to my own life purpose (which has a lot to do with covenant-based relationships), I am so intentional about doing everything that I can to make sure that people don’t just get married for the right reasons; they need to choose the right person too.
Otherwise, they could end up in the world of an Anne Bancroft quote that says, “If you marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons, then no matter how hard you work, it's never going to work, because then you have to completely change yourself, completely change them, completely — by that time, you're both dead.”
Now, do I 1000 percent believe that marrying the wrong person for the wrong reasons equates to automatic disaster, no matter what? No. I know couples who did just that (at least on some level), and yet, because they took their vows seriously, they actually chose to make their marriage work. In fact, many of them told me that it matured them in ways that they never would have otherwise. However, that’s a huge gamble. Besides, wouldn’t it just be better to do things the right way from the jump? And that includes making sure that your motives are in a healthy and honest place before standing in front of God, your family and friends, and “him” and making all sorts of promises and pledges.
Signs You're Getting Married for the Wrong Reasons
So, let’s take some preventative measures today, shall we? With the help of 12 women in my world, I’m about to share with you some clear signs that when it comes to marriage, if these are your motives, there’s a very big possibility that you are getting married for the wrong reasons — and that could make the purpose of marriage a real struggle for you…in ways that you may not notice until it’s far too late.
*Middle names are always used in my interview pieces so that people are able to speak super freely*
1. Ursula. 41. Married for Six Years.
“Your clock. Getting married because you want to have kids, so you rush into marriage in order to do so, is something that you will regret on levels that you cannot begin to imagine because you’re assuming that all you need to do is get a husband and everything will automatically fall into place. What if you have trouble conceiving? What if you and your husband don’t have the same values as far as rearing children? What if he changes his mind and doesn’t want kids at all? Children are a blessing. Even more so if you are raising them with someone who is going to make the process easier for you — and that means choosing a good man over just someone who can be your children’s father. If you’re looking for sperm more than a husband, you are on a dangerous road, sis.”
2. Shalawndria. 30. Divorced.
“DO NOT GET MARRIED BECAUSE YOU ARE LONELY. I’m pretty sure Shellie can attest to the fact that there are a lot of lonely wives out here. And besides, if you’re expecting a man to fill voids that you can’t even fill yourself, you are in for a world full of heartache — and I know what I’m talking about. I got married because, rather than doing self-work, I expected my man to ‘fix’ it all. Being a spouse is already a full-time job; no one wants to be a fill-in therapist, too. Love is great, and I’m still a believer, but if you think that your partner’s job is to heal you, you will end up in divorce court faster than I did. Heal first. Then, pick a husband. You’ll choose differently.”
"Love is great, and I'm still a believer, but if you think that your partner's job is to heal you, you will end up in divorce court faster than I did. Heal first. Then, pick a husband. You'll choose differently."
3. Maxine. 50. Divorced for Three Years.
“Don’t get married to get over someone else. It doesn’t work. Women love to talk about men cheating, but a lot of us have emotional affairs that we try to justify, or we rationalize staying in touch with someone from our past who should’ve been cut off a long time ago. If there is a man who still gives you butterflies, who you still kinda stalk on socials, or who you even send a ‘Happy Birthday’ message to on an annual basis — you need to get yourself all the way together before saying ‘I do.’ I know of what I speak. I thought that getting married to a good man is what would get me past the love of my life. Hmph. No man is good enough when you’re not completely over someone. Don’t drag anyone into all of that. Get off that man first. And if you don’t want to, stay single instead of being in a relationship.”
4. Taleeyah. 29. Married for Two Years.
“I didn’t realize how ‘rough I was around the edges’ until I got married. Because, let’s not act like we aren’t biased when it comes to how we see ourselves — and our friends? Sometimes, they don’t want to tell us what we need to hear either because they don’t want to hurt our feelings or, let’s be real, they don’t feel like going through the drama. But when you’re sharing a bathroom and bedroom with someone, it’s pretty hard to hide who you really are — and that means that you are gonna hear about yourself whether you want to hear it or not. I could go on about this all day, but the best way to condense the point is, ‘If you don’t want to be held accountable on a regular basis’, don’t get married. Thinking that this man is only going to tell you how awesome you are all of the time without calling you out is the grandest delusion of relationships. Well, marital ones.”
5. Edin. 47. Married for 21 Years.
“Looking for your husband to treat you like your dad. Shellie counseled us for a season, and she brought up something that I never thought about before: daughters are princesses; wives are queens. You shouldn’t expect your husband to treat you like your dad would because you’re an adult as a wife. If you’re expecting to just sit around and be doted on all day long while you spend a man’s money, you need to get a season pass to the movie theater, not get married. If your father is doing a bang-up job, he's preparing you for how to live with a man, compromise with a man, and yes, as much as some of you don’t want to hear it, respect a man. He will make it to where you can be in harmony with someone who is the same gender as him. You’re not a little girl anymore, and nothing will wake you up to that fact like marriage will. Trust me.”
6. Tarren. 33. Engaged for a Year.
“A distraction. This isn’t my first engagement, and it’s my fault that the last one didn’t work out. There was stuff that I didn’t want to face when it came to my career, some family drama, and my finances, and so I used a relationship as a distraction. What I didn’t prepare myself for was the reality that you can only run for so long — there are only so many dates, trips, and gifts before you have to face the reality that you have to deal with some things, and it’s not fair to drag someone into your mess just because you don’t want to. Marriage doesn’t make your mess go away. If anything, marriage makes it stare you dead in your face until you deal with it. My engagement is longer than I planned now because I want to make sure that I don’t do to this man what I did to my ex. He’s grateful, and so am I.”
"Marriage doesn’t make your mess go away. If anything, marriage makes it stare you dead in your face until you deal with it. My engagement is longer than I planned now because I want to make sure that I don’t do to this man what I did to my ex. He’s grateful, and so am I."
7. Arlee. 38. Divorced for Six Years.
“Don’t get married as a financial bailout plan — and don’t act like some of you haven’t been thinking about it. It’s not someone else’s job or responsibility to pay off your student loans, pay off your credit cards, or get your savings account out of the negative. Shellie talks often about how women are supposed to be the helpmates, but so many are weighing men down with all of these problems that they had before their guy ever arrived. She’s right. You are helping no one if your finances are a hot ass mess. If your financial plan is to get a husband to fix your BS, you are totally getting married for the wrong reasons.”
8. Keelah. 26. Engaged for Three Months.
“I come from a line of women who ignored the little voice in their head that told them not to get married to the men that they did. From where I stand, that is the greatest example of getting married for the wrong reason. It’s not unrealistic to say that getting married should be one of the best times of your entire life — including one of the most peaceful. When I think of my bae, I don’t have one hesitation, question, or fear. I don’t feel like I’m rushing, or avoiding, or in denial. We’ve welcomed therapy for ourselves, counseling with each other, and insights from those who care about us.
"We’ve asked each other some really hard questions and have slowed things down when we didn’t have immediate answers. If your intention is to take marriage seriously, you can’t treat it like a high school science experiment…like, ‘Welp, that didn’t work. Oh well.’ Thinking that you can just keep getting married over and over again sounds like you think marriage is a game. My advice? Whatever is telling you to wait, you should do it until you figure out what that’s all about. If you don’t, and you jump a broom anyway — I’m not sure there could be a worse reason to get married.”
9. Beven. 31. Married for Four Years.
“PLEASE don’t get married to change someone. How would you feel if someone did that to you? If you can’t marry someone just as they are right now, either they aren’t the one for you, or you need to learn how to not be such a control freak. Too many people treat their partner like a project; that’s frustrating for them and exhausting for you. A part of what comes with loving someone is accepting them. If you aren’t prepared to do that, push the wedding date back.”
10. Aniyah. 36. Divorced for Six Months.
“Ask a room full of women what their wedding day is going to be like, and they’ve got every detail down. Ask them what kind of wife they plan to be, and if you listen really carefully, it’s usually about what they expect to receive more than give. It’s like they think that marriage is one long wedding day. It’s not. Even though my divorce is fairly new, I’m not jaded about marriage. What I will say is I was delusional about what it required before I did it. A wife requires a lot. Learn as much as you can about it before getting married. Don’t do like I did and find out that what you thought you signed for isn’t what you’re in.”11. Yumi. 29. Married for Five Years.
“You want someone to love you more than you love you, that’s the wrong reason. Men are different than we are anyway, so they aren’t going to express themselves in the way that we would to ourselves — if that makes sense. Like, I’m big on pampering. My husband is more practical. He budgets so that I can go all out about four times a year on spa days and stuff, but is he going to plan it out? He’s not. If I spent a lot of time trying to get him to be how I am, we’d both be pissed. While you’re single, get into the habit of how to love yourself so that the pressure doesn’t fall solely on your husband when you get married. Some people wait for a mate to treat themselves a certain way. That mistake is HUGE.”
12. Denaye. 52. Married for 34 Years.
“Have mercy! PLEASE DO NOT GET MARRIED THINKING THAT YOUR MARRIAGE IS GOING TO BE JUST LIKE SOMEONE ELSE’S! I don’t care if it’s your best friend, your mama, or some couple at church. Too many women are out here competing with each other, whether they realize it or not, and it’s because they play the comparison game. Just like no two people are alike, no two marriages are either. So, if you plan on getting married only to wear your man out with all of this ‘So-and-so’s husband does such-and-such’ — do you and him a favor and just…don’t. You can go to other people for advice, but ultimately, you have to figure out how to customize what works best for you and yours…and others have nothing to do with that.”
Shellie here: And yes, she asked me to “scream” (via all caps) that entire sentence; that is just how much she meant it, chile.
___
An actor by the name of Jonathan Pryce once said, “Even a good decision, if made for the wrong reasons, can be a wrong decision.” Greater words have not been spoken when it comes to marriage. So, if marriage is high on your priority list right through here, I really hope that you take all of the wisdom that was just shared to heart.
Marriage is one of, if not the, biggest decisions that you will ever make.
Don’t make it for the wrong reasons.
It’s not worth it. It really isn’t.
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