Generally speaking, I think everyone struggles at times with following through with their master plan. It's easy to get sidetracked and a bit off course when stuff hits the fan and we don't have a Plan B in action (pun intended). It's harder though for a person to let cooler heads prevail when you start to freak out over the curveballs life may throw at you. It's uncomfortable for most to identify the things that are unsettling in their hearts and minds all in fear that things will spiral out of control. But, the real tea is that when we choose to ignore the things that cause us grief, uncertainty, or anxiety, we push ourselves down a slippery slope of denial and backtracking that only creates more problems in most cases.
Ridding yourself of anxiety over life's curveballs isn't an easy issue to tackle, but this article gives a few steps that, if put into action appropriately, can help release some of the burden off of your shoulders:
Think It Over
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In the airline industry, before they begin their emergency procedures, they use a technique to help keep them in order under duress, called STOP, THINK, and LOCATE. Asking the questions of who, what, where, and why of a situation, can really help you narrow down why you may feel the way you do. Oftentimes when we are feeling anxious, we don't have a moment to analyze what triggered us to get in the frantic state of mind that we are in. Narrowing down the source of the problem and trying to understand why it caused you to feel a certain way can keep you from a painful headache and a possible heartache too.
Take Yourself Out of The Equation
Think of a scenario where you were the one giving the advice. What would you tell a stranger or a close friend? How would you want them to feel after you give them advice? Most times we can't visualize how we are going to get ourselves out of a jam, but when it comes to others we seem to have all the right answers to solve the problems in their lives. Let's try using that same tactic when it comes to self.
If we step outside the scenario and imagine someone else what advice we would give them, would this advice work if it were us too? Ask the necessary questions from a different standpoint and see how things unveil themselves.
Use the Process of Elimination
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It's easy for us to think of all the possibilities that could go wrong. But once we're done doing that, what are we left with? If we were to place that same energy into finding a solution to various possibilities instead of whether or not the outcome was favorable, it could potentially save us time, money, and the onset of stress. If you're going to make a list and check it twice, just make sure you are focusing more on what you can do at that current moment versus what you should have done beforehand. There's no point in stressing over the woulda, coulda, shouldas, but there is validity in eliminating certain tactics and techniques in dealing with different manners to help you from ending up back at square one again and again.
Prioritize Your Responsibilities
What's the rush to get everything done all at once? Learning to prioritize our responsibilities is key to creating healthy balance in our lives. As much as we would like to think that we are Superwoman, we simply aren't. If you're being realistic with yourself, you have to create a to-do list of all the things you may need to accomplish, whether that be daily or weekly. Once you have the list, break it down to what's your top priority and what can take a backseat for the current moment.
Try giving yourself set deadlines so you can have a target of when you need one thing completed in order to move forward to another task. You move with ease when you have a goal in mind and can identify what's of the utmost importance to complete and what things you can swing back around to.
Acknowledge the Fears
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What are you afraid of? Dig deep girl, get you a pen and pad and really get to the core of why you are so anxious about a certain scenario. It's hard to face our fears head-on because the act of acknowledging them makes it all too real for some. But if we never face our burdens and the things that we struggle with, how can we conquer them and move on from them? Ask yourself the question of, what is it that I fear? And simply get down to the bottom of why you fear whatever it is by listing all the factors at hand. You can do it Queen! Face your issues and watch how you emerge with clarity, realization, and understanding. It's your life and you are the master of it, take control.
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Corein Carter is a Los Angeles-based blogger, content creator and podcaster. The New Jersey native has had a love affair with words since she began penning poetry in high school and later went on to study journalism at WSSU. The self-proclaimed "Naturalista" embodies all things spiritual, plant-based, and self-care in both her daily life and through writing. You may recognize Corein's captivating voice and well-rounded perspectives from her fast growing podcast "Play on Words". Follow her journey on Twitter and Instagram @inlivingcolored.
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Everything Kerry Washington Has Said About Her Husband Nnamdi Asomugha
Actress Kerry Washington and her relationship with her husband, actor Nnamdi Asomugha, is the perfect example of a winning team.
The pair became an item following a chance encounter in 2009, and many years later, on June 24, 2013, Washington and Asomugha would secretly tie the knot. Since then, the high-profile couple has expanded their blended family by welcoming two children, a daughter Isabelle Asomugha, 8, and a 6-year-old son Caleb Asomugha. Asomugha also has a daughter from a previous relationship.
Despite Washington and Asomugha choosing to live a relatively private life for the most part by not sharing images of their family on social media and occasionally attending events together. The rare glimpses they provide to the public showcase that Washington and Asomugha have much in common regarding essential topics.
For example, Washington is highly involved in politics and encourages others to participate by spreading information about various issues and how everyone would be affected.
As for Asomugha, the 41-year-old officially founded the Asomugha Foundation in 2010, years after doing other charity work in Nigeria. According to its site, the organization was created to help "disadvantaged youth and women by providing educational opportunities and mentorship."
Washington's public remarks regarding her relationship with Asomugha and their family may be rare, but when she does speak about their family, it's all positive.
Kerry On Why She Keeps Her Relationship Private
Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for Bronx Children's Museum
In March 2016, the UnPrisioned actress revealed during a discussion panel at SXSW Festival that one of the reasons why she is adamant about remaining private about her union with Asomugha is because she doesn't want the public to make any narratives regarding her marriage.
At the time, it was reported that Washington and the former NFL player were experiencing marital troubles and were allegedly planning on getting a divorce. Washington would shut down those allegations by saying she hasn't and will not share any information about her private life.
"Social media has actually been great for [other celebrities'] relationships with the weeklies or the gossip sites because people say things and they say, 'That's not true!' So I'm thinking in some ways, it's been great because people are able to maintain their voice," she explained.
"It's a little different for me because I don't talk about my personal life. That means not only did I not tell you when I was getting married, it also means if somebody has rumors about what's going on in my marriage, I don't refute them, because I don't talk about my personal life."
Kerry On How She Met Nnamdi And What A Normal Day Looks Like for Their Family
Fast forward to October 2018, the Scandal star gave insight into how she met Asomugha and their family life. During an interview with Marie Claire, Washington shared that she and Asomugha met in 2009 while she was working on the Broadway play Race.
The mother of two told the publication that her life has "completely transformed" since their encounter. "The last time I did theater, it completely transformed my life. That's where I met my husband. I love being with my family. My days off look like homework, reading, and watching stuff. Just hanging out, doing things we love to do," she stated.
Kerry On Nnamdi's Accomplishment
Photo by Jeffrey Camarati/Getty Images
But as time progressed, Washington began speaking a little more openly about her man. In October 2022, Washington gushed over Asomugha and his Netflix project, The Good Nurse, which came out around the same time her film, The School for Good and Evil, was released. While talking to Entertainment Tonight, the star expressed how "proud" she was of her husband.
"I'm really proud of him, I think he's doing amazing work. I'm really excited for his film, The Good Nurse," she said. "It's really exciting to both have really important films at Netflix right now, we feel really blessed.”
Kerry On Why Nnamdi Is Her Soulmate
Washington shared how her love with Asomugha goes beyond the surface after spending over a decade together.
In a March 2023 interview with Marie Claire, Washington explained that she and Asomugha are perfectly aligned because she's allowed to be her authentic self with him.
"I'm in my immediate truth with [him]," Washington said. "Those mirrors are important because they help me get back to myself."
Kerry On The Couple's Upcoming 10-Year Wedding Anniversary
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That same month, Washington expressed that in addition to the many years the couple has been together, and their personal and professional accomplishments, she still finds Asomugha "incredible."
Washington shared this revelation while promoting her latest project, UnPrisioned, in an Entertainment Tonight interview.
"I do have an incredible husband," the actress told ET host Kevin Frazier as she disclosed little to no details about their upcoming plans for their tenth wedding anniversary. "Do you remember how secret my wedding was? How private and secretive it was? That's how the anniversary is gonna be too!"
Kerry On Why She Thinks Nnamdi And Their Children Are A Gift From God
Washington's love and admiration for Asomugha and their family grow increasingly each day, so much so that she uses it as inspiration to share positive messages with her fans.
The 46-year-old revealed during a panel with Al Sharpton at National Action Network Convention on April 12 that she sees her husband and their children as "proof" that God exists and loves her because of the great joy they bring to her life.
"Well, you've met my husband, my husband's amazing. I got a good one. We have three beautiful children. And I think, you know, when I look at my marriage, and I look at my kids, fundamentally, they are proof of God to me,” she said. "Because I know that God loves me to have put those people in my life. And that sense of like, knowing that God loves me. That, to me, is so much of how I make the decisions about the activism that I do and the content that I make."
Regardless of what the public may think about Washington and Asomugha's private union, they are proving with each moment that love can conquer all.
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Feature image by Arturo Holmes/MG23/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue