6 Effortlessly Sexy Date Night Outfits That Are Better Than Your Average
Instead of searching the mall and online boutiques for hours on end, xoNecole has taken the liberty of compiling this list of effortlessly sexy date night outfit ideas, just for you.
I, for one, can admit that a lot of the go-to pieces have in my wardrobe have been "gone to" a few too many times, and I thought it was time to switch it up. To help me on my quest for the perfect threads, I've enlisted the help of Denver-based designer and professional stylist, Felicia Benevidez.
Felicia and I met up at a local restaurant called The Family Jones, where she gave me all the knowledge on how to wow my date without even trying. These styles can be easily recreated using staples in your closet and a whole lot of attitude. Let's get into these looks!
Everyone has a little black dress in their closet, but Felicia shows us how to put the game down, flip it, and reverse it to create an entirely new look. For Valentine's Day, instead of rocking your usual, try adding jeans and accessories to your LBD to add flair and personality. Felicia told xoNecole:
"When all else fails, I feel like you can never go wrong with a little black dress. Creating layers by adding jeans and a sheer overlay automatically takes the look from classic to edgy. The iridescent purse, hoop earrings, and gold shoe adds the perfect final touch to complete my look for date night with bae!"
Ladies, I have the answer to the age-old question women have debated about for years: Size does matter. I mean, when it comes to clothes, at least. Rocking at oversized blazer can set your outfit off in a way that is super unique and known to turn heads. Keep it sexy by wearing thigh-high socks or boots, and feel free to add shorts for a more conservative look. The designer shared:
"I don't know about you, but a blazer always makes me feel put together. To keep it sexy for date night, I added thigh high socks and an extended button up shirt. I finished this look with a black pump and a belt to create some structure and emphasize my waist."
Nothing says effortlessly sexy like a jumpsuit and some booties. For some real fun, use some bold colors like Felicia did in this look! Your jumpsuit game has the potential to level up in a major way if you incorporate accessories and makeup that add a pop of color. According to Felicia, out of all the looks, this one is the easiest to pull off:
"A good jumpsuit makes getting dressed easy, when all you have to add are shoes and accessories! This limited jumpsuit comes from my clothing line VFM and is the perfect look for Valentine's Day! I added a pop of color by adding red booties, a matching purse, and don't forget the red lip."
Who knew a wide-leg pant and a blazer could make a t-shirt look so damn classy? This style is easy to accomplish with any flared pant in your wardrobe, but you can go the extra mile by adding some edgy accessories. Felicia explained:
"This chic date night look consist of a pair of my favorite wide leg pants from my clothing line VFM. I paired them with a T-shirt and yellow blazer to add a pop of color. The leather gloves and platform shoe completes the look and adds the perfect amount of edge."
For women like me who enjoy feeling bad and bougie on a budget, this look is perfect. The best part about this look is, it's flexible and low-maintenance but still looks expensive and elegant. You can achieve this look by mixing any animal print with the faux fur accessory of your choice. Set your look off by adding the maxi skirt of your choice and you've just created the frugal outfit find of your dreams. Felicia shared:
"For this look, I based the outfit around a pleated maxi skirt. To accentuate the deep maroon color, I added a nude animal print turtleneck. Because I love to play with prints, I finished the look off with a cheetah print bootie and fur stole. Such an easy and great look for a night out on the town!"
Grown and sexy takes on a whole new meaning when it comes to this look. Grab any piece of lingerie in your wardrobe and pair it with a pair of slacks and a blazer to turn into the seriously sultry seductress of your man's dreams. To give your fit a little something extra, add a shoe and lip to offer a bold pop of color. What's better is, this look is so effortlessly sexy, the only accessory you'll need is your smile. Felicia told me:
"When the goal is grown and sexy, a pant suit is definitely my go-to. For the perfect date night look, I added a bodysuit and bright pump. My hair was the only accessory, and yes the bigger the better."
It's my hope that you can take these tips and be as sexy as you wanna be for your partner on this special holiday, no matter how you two decide to celebrate. This year, instead of harping over how you look, remember that no matter what you wear, your sexy comes effortlessly!
Thanks again to The Family Jones for letting us use your space to create magic! To find these pieces, check out A Vintage Frame of Mind's online boutique here.
Additional styling by Joce Blake. Makeup by Bree Klee.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Listen, You're Totally Missing Out If You've Never Tried 'Yoga Sex' Before
Deflecting. If there’s one thing that irks me to absolutely no end, it’s when someone tries to avoid personal accountability — or even just a direct question — by deflecting. Take some people, who are barely in their 50s, who try to tell me that they are basically in a sexless marriage due to their age.
Chile, please. Reportedly, over 40 percent of people between the ages of 60-85 are sexually active (I personally think it’s much higher than that), and more than half between the ages of 57-75 (and one-third between the ages of 75-85) participate in oral sex. Matter of fact, a great example of all of this is TikTok sensation (and her husband) Rita 'Badgirlriri504' Smith who’s been married 43 years and talks about intimacy with her man every chance she gets. And you know what? I adore seeing it (check out “Marriage Tips with Social Media Creator Rita 'Badgirlriri504' Smith”)!
And just what does all of this have to do with today’s topic? Well, while talking to two of my clients not too long ago — people who are also well into their 60s — about the fact that they try to get it in at least twice a week (see what I mean? And that doesn’t include oral), when I asked them what their secret was, the wife said, without hesitation, “Simple. We do yoga sex.”
It’s pretty redundant for me to say that I write about sex a lot, which means that I research it too; however, I’ve got to admit that although I know that certain positions can make engaging in copulation easier, it never crossed my mind that there was something known as yoga sex. Yet, as the couple broke it down to me, I found myself becoming more and more intrigued. And that caused me to do some looking around so that I could share the wealth.
Because if your sex life is already bomb as hell, things are slowing down a bit, and you need a bit of “oomph” to fuel the fire again or, deep down, you know that you’re deflecting when it comes to your sex life and you want to change that — yoga sex could be the answer to all of your sexual needs. Read on to see what I mean.
Let’s Review Some Overall Benefits of Yoga, in General, First
GiphyThe gym? It’s never been something that has tickled my fancy, not even a little bit. Oh, but as my metabolism is slowing down and I can tell that I’m deep in the throes of perimenopause (CHILE), I’ve accepted that I need to be more intentional about exercise than ever. And since you can find just about anything that you’re looking for on the internet, I’ve found myself taking a real liking to yoga.
As far as health-related and direct physical benefits go, there are many:
- Yoga helps to reduce stress
- Yoga helps to decrease bodily inflammation
- Yoga helps to boost your immunity
- Yoga strengthens your body
- Yoga increases flexibility
- Yoga gives you more balance and improves your posture
- Yoga elevates your mental health
And that really is just the tip of the iceberg! Since you can get all of this from apps that offer classes for free (you can get a list of some of them here, or you can put “yoga classes” in the search field of YouTube as well), which means that you can do yoga from the comfort and convenience of your own home, why wouldn’t you want to at least give it a shot? Especially if, as you’re about to see, you can incorporate sex into yoga too?
So, What’s This “Yoga Sex” Thing All About?
GiphyIf you actually took the list of benefits that I just provided seriously, it should make all the sense in the world why yoga would help to improve people’s sex lives. If you’re less stressed, it’s easier to orgasm. If you have less bodily inflammation, sex is more comfortable. If you have a solid immune system, you’re in a better mood for sex. If your body is stronger, you will have more stamina during sex. The more flexible you are, the more sex positions you can try. The better your posture is, the easier it is to breathe deeply (which also increases your chances of climaxing). And if your mental health is in a great state, the more satisfying sex will be for you overall.
Okay, but there’s more. Some studies actually reveal that women who participate in yoga on a regular basis are more easily aroused, lubricate more, and experience less bodily discomfort — and get this, especially if they are over the age of 45. One study even went so far as to reveal that 75 percent of women who did yoga consistently said that they were more satisfied with their sex life than before yoga became a part of their lifestyle. Impressive…impressive indeed.
So, what makes “yoga sex” a thing? Well, it’s basically when people bring standard yoga positions into their sex life. Meaning, it’s not about learning positions that will make you stronger and more flexible in the bedroom beforehand; no, yoga sex is about literally doing yoga while having sex.
For instance, say that your goal for sex is to experience deeper penetration from your partner. A position that you might want to try is the cobra pose (here) where you first get on your stomach and then lift the upper half of your body with your hands while keeping your arms straight. If your partner straddles you, it frees their body up to penetrate you while also stimulating your neck and shoulders with his hands and mouth.
Or, if you like the missionary position yet you want to give it a bit of an upgrade, the bridge pose (here) can make that happen because it’s all about being on your back and then lifting the lower half of your body while your feet are planted on the ground (or your bed if your core is strong and your partner is helping to hold you up). Word on the street is this is a top-tier cunnilingus position. Report back. #wink
Maybe you’ve always wanted to experience a cervical orgasm. Getting on your back and throwing your legs over your head, and then being penetrated is one of the best ways to achieve this goal; that position is called the plow pose (here).
Now that I’ve broken yoga sex down a bit, do you see the potential that it holds? Do you also see how taking up some yoga, outside of sex, could better prep you for yoga sex?
If all of this has piqued your interest, first let me say that there are other traditional yoga positions that would be great for sex too like the forward bend and reclining butterfly (here) or the happy baby and cat-cow (here) — and honestly, that’s only the beginning because, the more confident you become, the more positions you’ll probably want to experiment with. The really awesome thing is, when it comes to yoga sex, positions aren’t the only thing that you can explore; there are different types of yoga sex too. Let’s touch on that briefly as well.
Did You Know That There Are Different Kinds of Yoga Sex?
GiphySo, what do I mean by different types of yoga sex? Great question.
Tantric yoga: This type of yoga focuses on the more spiritual side of intimacy. It does this by incorporating practices that help with meditation (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”), flexibility and deep breathing.
Orgasmic yoga:If you want to control your pelvis more, strengthen your core, and become an expert when it comes to breathwork, then orgasmic yoga will be more your speed (for the record, from what I’ve read, belly dancing actually qualifies as a form of orgasmic yoga. Just an FYI).
Kink yoga: If BDSM is your thing, then this is the kind of yoga that you’ve been looking for. The main aim here is to use yoga to get you to become more flexible and more mindful during sex.
When it comes to all three of these, if you live in a major city, there’s a pretty good chance that you can find a class that specializes in them. Otherwise, YouTube has some introductions to all of these too.
3 Tips for Yoga Sex Beginners
GiphyAnd what if yoga sex is something you’re down with yet you’re not sure how to start? Well, here are a few tips that can make even trying yoga sex tonight a more pleasurable experience.
1. Decide on positions beforehand. Good foreplay isn’t just about what you do 15 minutes before intercourse; it’s about getting each other’s minds “right” long before that. So, put your partner in the mood by emailing or texting pictures of some positions you’d like to try. It will get his mind in the mood and his imagination going; it’ll also give you some time to practice (just sayin’).
2. Create a “yoga-like” atmosphere. Listen, one of the key principles of yoga is cultivating an environment for mindfulness and peace. So, if you’re trying to do this with the television on, the kids yelling downstairs, or with your mind on a billion different things, it’s not going to work. You need quiet. You also need a lot of room. You need scents (like lavender, jasmine, vanilla, neroli, or sandalwood) that make you feel calm and relaxed. And you need soft lighting; it brings about a sense of tranquility. What about sounds? Instrumental or nature ones are probably gonna work best because they won’t break your concentration.
3. Always meditate (together) first. You’re kinda gonna miss the whole point of yoga sex if you just walk into your bedroom and immediately get into the downward dog. Remember that mindfulness, peacefulness, and pacing oneself are all benefits of yoga — and meditation is what achieves all of this. Plus, meditation is proven to control anxiety, bring about self-awareness, and even give you a greater attention space. So, before any foreplay even begins, sit on the floor across from your partner, look into each other’s eyes, and breathe, deeply, in and out together, for at least 3-5 minutes. It will bring forth an energy that will make yoga sex — and orgasming — truly incomparable…that’s what my clients tell me anyway. #wink
____
It really is so time out for bringing ageism into sex. If the body is able and the spirit is willing, you can be out here rivaling the 20-somethings. Yoga sex is just one option that cosigns on this — and has the data to prove it, chile. Enjoy!
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images