10 Creative Questions To Ask On A First Date
As cuffing season kicks off, many people are finalizing their rosters and securing their bae slots. If you're a little late to the party, cuffing season is the timeframe during the winter months where you're "off the market". During cuffing season, you could agree to be in an official relationship, or a situationship – it's completely based on your preference. The premise is simple though: it's cold outside, let's cuddle up!
Whether you're aiming to be "boo'd up" with your official bae or your cuffing season recruit, now is the time to get your date nights in before settling on your final pick. And if you typically struggle with date night questions, here are a few creative first date questions to get the conversation started!
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10 Creative First Date Questions
Is your work fulfilling?
This is a creative spin to the "what do you do?" question. The answer to this question, if responded to elaborately, can tell you where they work, what they do, and what their professional passions are. It also has the potential to lend insight into their ambition and future professional plans, without having to ask the predictable "what's your five-year plan?" question.
What’s the last book you read?
Typically, the books we read tell us about our interests or our fantasies. I'm either diving head first into self-help or inspirational books because that's what my spirit needs, or I'm drinking wine and reading a raunchy sex novel because celibacy is hard. Either way, what I read correlates directly to my interests – or my struggles. Allowing your date night partner to share more about what books are currently on their roster, can lead to a few good follow-up questions about what interested them to read the book, and what lessons they may have learned from it, bringing you a little deeper into their world. And if nothing else, it may give you an idea of the next book you should pick up.
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What are your thoughts on rape culture?
This is a question I know we all want to shy away from. The usual rule-of-thumb for first date questions is to avoid political conversations, but with the current start of our culture, this may be a very necessary question to ask. This can provoke a lot of interesting thought, or fuel an intense debate, however, it's not just about assessing political views as it is about personal safety. What someone feels about rape culture can highlight misogyny, sexism, and loads of other red flags. But, confrontational conversations don't have to be all bad, this question – if approached correctly – can serve as a great opportunity to educate each other.
Do you have a passport?
Now I'm not saying that most people travel with their cuffing season boos, but I am saying, if you want to travel with your cuffing season boo, this question is imperative. You can't take an impromptu #baecation if bae isn't ready when it's time. There may be a valid reason why they don't have a passport, and that may be a conversation worth having. But if you're adamant about exploring different countries, be sure to find out if potential bae is too.
How do you define happiness? Would you say you’ve mastered it?
So often in relationships we place the burden of our happiness on our partners. This question attempts to identify if this potential boo, falls into that same habit. Understanding someone's idea of happiness and if they've manifested it (or are at least trying to), can set the tone for the joy you may – or may not – experience with each other. It'll also give you an in to what brings them joy and if your idea of happiness aligns with theirs.
Who are you?
There's nothing quite as fulfilling as dating someone who's self-aware. They know their quirks, their flaws, and everything in between. Someone who can define themselves within the context of their own self-discovery is well worth continuing to get to know. This question allows them to share with you, the person they've found in their own pursuit of discovery, and give them a moment of transparency for communicating to you exactly who they are.
Tip: don't have an expectation for their response. It's important that you allow your bae-candidate to authentically express themselves and whatever identities they uphold.
What is important to you?
Allow your date to open up and be candid about the important pieces of their life. I fell in love with my ex, in part, by how he spoke so lovingly about his son and how much having him changed his life. Allowing people the space to openly talk about the important parts of their lives helps shatter some walls and builds connection.
Do you live alone?
This isn't necessarily creative, but if you don't want to be snowed in with bae and two roommates, I suggest you get this question answered and out of the way.
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When’s the last time you prayed?
For me, spiritual connection is important. And while everyone is on their own journey – and at their own place of spiritual development – identifying the last time someone prayed is a huge marker to how frequently they commune with God; especially since someone's church attendance – identified by the usual "do you go to church" question – does not necessarily mean they have a relationship with God. This can also spark a conversation about faith, church, and other spiritual beliefs. Obviously, if faith isn't important to you, you can skip this one.
Among your friends, what are you best known for?
With this question, you'll learn more about the company bae keeps, and about what role they play in the clique. This can be important if you like to woo the crew, or if your single homegirls are still playing the field. Double dates "on fleek"! If you live in a small city, it'll also give you a moment to dissect their tribe and assess if that is the company you want yourself associated with.
It wouldn't behoove you to ask all these questions at once, as the date will quickly turn into a counseling session. However, asking a variety of these questions can offer insight into the person's heart and mind, and can provide the spark all first date conversations should be made of. Using these questions as a guide to incite thoughtful conversation and friendly debate (emphasis on friendly) can help weed out the f*ckboys and help ensure that your cuffing season bae is top quality.
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Zoe Hunter is the writer, speaker, and creator behind the women empowerment brand DEAR QUEENS. She uses vulnerability, storytelling, and spiritual development to empower women toward healthy decision-making. Stay connected to Zoe's work by visiting DEARQUEENS.com or following her on Twitter @zDEARQUEENS.
The Reality Of Living With Severe Asthma – As Told by 2 Women On Their Disease Journey
This post is in partnership with Amgen.
The seemingly simple task of taking a breath is something most of us don’t think twice about. But for people who live with severe asthma, breathing does not always come easily. Asthma, a chronic respiratory condition that inflames and narrows the airways in the lungs, affects millions of people worldwide – 5-10% of which live with severe asthma. Severe asthma is a chronic and lifelong condition that is unpredictable and can be difficult to manage. Though often invisible to the rest of the world, severe asthma is a not-so-silent companion for those who live with it, often interrupting schedules and impacting day-to-day life.
Among the many individuals who battle severe asthma, Black women face a unique set of challenges. It's not uncommon for us to go years without a proper diagnosis, and finding the right treatment often requires some trial and error. Thankfully, all hope is not lost for those who may be fighting to get their severe asthma under control. We spoke with Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq. and Jania Watson, two inspiring Black women who have been living with severe asthma and have found strength, resilience, and a sense of purpose in their journeys.
Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq.
Juanita Ingram has a resume that would make anyone’s jaw drop. On top of being recently crowned Mrs. Universe, she’s also an accomplished attorney, filmmaker, and philanthropist. From the outside, it seems there’s nothing this talented woman won’t try, and likely succeed at. In her everyday life, however, Juanita exercises a lot more caution. From a young age, Juanita has struggled with severe asthma. Her symptoms were always exacerbated by common illnesses like a cold or flu. “I've heard these stories of my breathing struggles, but I remember distinctly when I was younger not being able to breathe every time I got a virus,” says Ingram. “I remember missing a lot of school and crying a lot because asthma is painful. I [was taken] to see my doctor often if I got sick with anything so I was hypervigilant as a child, and I still am.”
Today, Juanita says her symptoms are best managed when she’s working closely with her care team, avoiding getting sick and staying ahead of any symptoms. Ingram said she’s been blessed with skilled doctors who are just as vigilant of her symptoms as she is. While competing in the Mrs. Universe competition, Juanita took extra care to stay clear of other competitors to ensure she didn’t catch a cold or virus that would trigger her severe asthma. “I would stand off to the side and sometimes that could be taken as ‘oh, she thinks she's better than everybody else.’ But if I get sick during a pageant, I'm done. I had to compete with that in mind because my sickness doesn't look like everybody else's sickness.”
Even when her symptoms are under control, living with severe asthma still presents challenges. Juanita relies on her strong support system to overcome the hurdles caused by a lack of understanding from the public, “I think that there's a lot of lack of awareness about how serious severe asthma is. I would [also] tell women to advocate and to trust their intuition and not to allow someone to dismiss what you're experiencing.”
Jania Watson
Jania, a content creator from Atlanta, Georgia, has been living with severe asthma for many years. Thanks to early testing by asthma specialists, Jania was diagnosed with severe asthma as a child after experiencing frequent flare-ups and challenges in her day-to-day life. “I specifically remember, I was starting school, and we were moving into a new house. One of the triggers for me and my younger sister at the time were certain types of carpets. We had just moved into this new house and within weeks of us being there, my parents literally had to pay for all new carpet in the house.”
As Jania grew older, she was suffering from fewer flare-ups and thought her asthma was well under control. However, a trip back to her doctor during high school revealed that her severe asthma was affecting her more than she realized. “That was the first time in a long time I had to do a breathing test,” she describes. “The doctor had me take a deep breath in and blow into a machine to test my breathing. They told me to blow as hard as I could. And I was doing it. I was giving everything I got. [My dad and the doctor] were looking at me like ‘girl, stop playing.’ And at that point [it confirmed] I still have severe asthma because I've given it all I got. It doesn't really go away, but I just learned how to help manage it better.”
Jania recognizes that people who aren’t living with asthma, may not understand the disease and mistake it for something less serious. Or there could be others who think their symptoms are minor, and not worth bringing up. So, for Jania, communicating with others about her diagnosis is key. “Having severe asthma [flare-ups] in some cases looks very similar to being out of shape,” she said. “But this is a chronic illness that I was born with. This is just something that I live with that I've been dealing with. And I think it's important for people to know because that determines the next steps. [They might ask] ‘Do you need a bottle of water, or do you need an inhaler? Do you need to take a break, or do we need to take you to the hospital?’ So, I think letting the people around you know what's going on, just in case anything were to happen plays a lot into it as well.”
Like Juanita, Jania’s journey has been marked by ups and downs, but she remains an unwavering advocate for asthma awareness and support within the Black community. She hopes that her story can be an inspiration to other women with asthma who may not yet have their symptoms under control. “There's still life to be lived outside of having severe asthma. It is always going to be there, but it's not meant to stop you from living your life. That’s why learning how to manage it and also having that support system around you, is so important.”
By sharing their journeys, Juanita and Jania hope to encourage others to embrace their conditions, obtain a proper management plan from a doctor or asthma specialist like a pulmonologist or allergist, and contribute to the improvement of asthma awareness and support, not only within the Black community, but for all individuals living with severe asthma.
Read more stories from others like Juanita and Jania on Amgen.com, or visit Uncontrolled Asthma In Black Women | BREAK THE CYCLE to find support and resources.
Here's A Look At Simone Biles And Jonathan Owens' Relationship Timeline
When a young Black woman redefines the entire category of elite gymnastics and becomes the most decorated gymnast — male or female — of all time, you can’t help but take notice. However, the four-time Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles and her husband, Jonathan Owens, have recently made headlines for a less-romantic detail of their love story.
Since becoming engaged in 2021, Owens, an NFL safety for the Green Bay Packers, has persisted that prior to matching with Biles on the celebrity dating app, Raya, he was unfamiliar with her and the history-making titles she holds.
“I didn’t know who she was,” he told Texas Monthly in June 2021. “I just hadn’t heard of her, and when I told her that, that’s one of the things she liked.”
Most of the internet met this revelation with irony and mild confusion since Owens is a new face to most outside of his recent marriage to Biles.
In a recent conversation on The Pivot podcast, Owens spoke to the hosts about the origins of their relationship, rehashing how Biles made the first move by sliding into his DMs after matching on Raya. When podcast host Channing Crowder inquired of Owens, "How did you manage to win over Simone Biles?" the NFL player humorously replied, "It's more like how she won me over."
The football player went on to affirm that he was ultimately “the catch” within the two’s relationship dynamic, leading to online criticism of the remark.
It’s safe to say that Biles’ history-defining trajectory is difficult to ignore, making her a “catch” in our eyes. Nevertheless, to acquaint you with the couple’s love story, here's a breakdown of the timeline of their relationship.
Simone Biles and Jonathan Owens' Complete Relationship Timeline
March 2020: Simone Biles and Jonathan Owens Meet on Raya
Biles and Owens’ love story began at the start of the COVID-19 lockdown, after matching on Raya. With the world on pause, the two took advantage of their less busy schedules to build a foundation for their connection.
"It was one of the few times in [Simone's] life where everything was just shut off and she couldn't do anything," Owens shared in an interview with Today. "So we used it to get to know each other — really get to know each other. It created our bond and made it stronger. Now I'm so thankful."
August 2020: Simone Biles and Jonathan Owens Make Things Instagram Official
In the summer of 2020, Biles and Owens locked in their relationship, making things Instagram-official. The gymnast shared a round of cozy photos of her and Owens hugged up together with a caption that read, "It's just us." The footballer planted a kiss on Biles to seal the deal.
February 2021: Simone Biles and Jonathan Owens Spend Their First V-Day Together
For their first Valentine’s Day together, the lovebirds went all out to celebrate the romantic occasion. Biles took to Instagram to share their extravagant V-Day layout filled with heart-shaped balloons, rose petals covering the floor, and a sign displaying “LOVE” as their backdrop. Biles’ caption read, "lucky to be loved by you 💘."
July 2021: Jonathan Owens Praises Simone Biles for Her ‘Strength’ and ‘Courage’ During the 2021 Olympics
Owens showed that he has Biles’ back after she withdrew from the individual all-around finals at the 2021 Tokyo Olympic Games by sharing a heartfelt post in support of his lady on Instagram.
“Imma ride with you through whatever baby,” Owens wrote. “Your strength and courage is unmatched and you inspire me more and more everyday SB. You always gone be my champ baby and don’t you ever forget that, i love you so much and i can’t wait till you come home and i get to see that beautiful smile again. You know I’m always here for you baby.”
In the comments, Biles wrote, “I love you so much.”
February 2022: Simone Biles Says 'Yes' to Jonathan Owens' Valentine's Day Proposal
Following Valentine’s Day, Biles said “yes!” to the football player’s marriage proposal. They shared a post of their engagement announcement in a carousel of adoring photos with Owens on bended knee.
"THE EASIEST YES," Biles wrote in the caption. "I can't wait to spend forever & ever with you, you're everything I dreamed of and more! let's get married FIANCÉ 💍🥺🥲🤎 @jowens_3."
April 22, 2023: Simone Biles and Jonathan Owens Exchange Vows in an Intimate Setting
The wedding bells were ringing! Biles and Owens exchanged vows during a civil ceremony at the Harris County Courthouse in Houston, Texas. The gymnast captioned the slideshow of wedding day photos writing, "I do 🤍 officially owens 🤍."
Owens echoed his affection with a post, captioned: "My person, forever ❤️💍."
May 4, 2023: Simone Biles Marries Jonathan Owens a Second Time During a Destination Wedding in Mexico
After their private courthouse wedding, the couple hosted a lavish destination wedding in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, with 144 guests.
In a video segment with Vogue, Biles shared, “I think this is exactly how brides are supposed to feel. Luxurious, beautiful, kind of on top of the world.”
October 19, 2023: Simone Biles Opens Up About How Marriage Changed Her Outlook on Gymnastics
While on the Today show, Biles opened up about her changed perspective on gymnastics since marrying Owens, conveying a sense of fulfillment beyond the sport.
"Gymnastics is just something I get to come in and have the privilege of doing,” Biles shared. “I don’t feel like it’s the end all be all anymore, as before I kind of felt like that. I get to go home to my husband, to my dogs, to my house and all of the things. So it feels really good.”
December 2023: Jonathan Owens’ Comments on ‘The Pivot’ Podcast Sparks Backlash From Simone Biles Fans
During an episode of The Pivot podcast, host Crowder asked Owens, "How in the hell did you pull Simone Biles?"
In response, the football player said, "It's really how she pulled me, man, that's the question.”
Owens went on to double down on their origin story, stating that he was initially unfamiliar with Biles, "When she won the Olympics, I was in college, and we didn't have NBC, we didn't have Olympics channels, and we were in [training] camp [in] late July, early August.”
He added, “So I'm not paying attention. I never would've had a moment where I would've watched [her compete].”
When questioned whether he saw himself as the prize in his relationship with Biles, the NFL star stated that, "I always say that the men are the catch."
While Owens eventually revealed he was initially “afraid to commit” because "I'm like, 'It's kinda early.'”
He continued, “But you know, it happens when you least expect it. When we hung out, we just hit it off instantly. Laughed the whole night.”
Following the backlash, the couple responded on their perspective social media pages. Owens posted a photo from their wedding on his Instagram with the caption, "Unbothered 😂❤️ Just know we locked in over here 🤞🏽."
While Simone took a comedic approach and tweeted, "are y'all done yet?" with a meme of a little kid scratching their head.
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