10 Creative Questions To Ask On A First Date
As cuffing season kicks off, many people are finalizing their rosters and securing their bae slots. If you're a little late to the party, cuffing season is the timeframe during the winter months where you're "off the market". During cuffing season, you could agree to be in an official relationship, or a situationship – it's completely based on your preference. The premise is simple though: it's cold outside, let's cuddle up!
Whether you're aiming to be "boo'd up" with your official bae or your cuffing season recruit, now is the time to get your date nights in before settling on your final pick. And if you typically struggle with date night questions, here are a few creative first date questions to get the conversation started!
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10 Creative First Date Questions
Is your work fulfilling?
This is a creative spin to the "what do you do?" question. The answer to this question, if responded to elaborately, can tell you where they work, what they do, and what their professional passions are. It also has the potential to lend insight into their ambition and future professional plans, without having to ask the predictable "what's your five-year plan?" question.
What’s the last book you read?
Typically, the books we read tell us about our interests or our fantasies. I'm either diving head first into self-help or inspirational books because that's what my spirit needs, or I'm drinking wine and reading a raunchy sex novel because celibacy is hard. Either way, what I read correlates directly to my interests – or my struggles. Allowing your date night partner to share more about what books are currently on their roster, can lead to a few good follow-up questions about what interested them to read the book, and what lessons they may have learned from it, bringing you a little deeper into their world. And if nothing else, it may give you an idea of the next book you should pick up.
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What are your thoughts on rape culture?
This is a question I know we all want to shy away from. The usual rule-of-thumb for first date questions is to avoid political conversations, but with the current start of our culture, this may be a very necessary question to ask. This can provoke a lot of interesting thought, or fuel an intense debate, however, it's not just about assessing political views as it is about personal safety. What someone feels about rape culture can highlight misogyny, sexism, and loads of other red flags. But, confrontational conversations don't have to be all bad, this question – if approached correctly – can serve as a great opportunity to educate each other.
Do you have a passport?
Now I'm not saying that most people travel with their cuffing season boos, but I am saying, if you want to travel with your cuffing season boo, this question is imperative. You can't take an impromptu #baecation if bae isn't ready when it's time. There may be a valid reason why they don't have a passport, and that may be a conversation worth having. But if you're adamant about exploring different countries, be sure to find out if potential bae is too.
How do you define happiness? Would you say you’ve mastered it?
So often in relationships we place the burden of our happiness on our partners. This question attempts to identify if this potential boo, falls into that same habit. Understanding someone's idea of happiness and if they've manifested it (or are at least trying to), can set the tone for the joy you may – or may not – experience with each other. It'll also give you an in to what brings them joy and if your idea of happiness aligns with theirs.
Who are you?
There's nothing quite as fulfilling as dating someone who's self-aware. They know their quirks, their flaws, and everything in between. Someone who can define themselves within the context of their own self-discovery is well worth continuing to get to know. This question allows them to share with you, the person they've found in their own pursuit of discovery, and give them a moment of transparency for communicating to you exactly who they are.
Tip: don't have an expectation for their response. It's important that you allow your bae-candidate to authentically express themselves and whatever identities they uphold.
What is important to you?
Allow your date to open up and be candid about the important pieces of their life. I fell in love with my ex, in part, by how he spoke so lovingly about his son and how much having him changed his life. Allowing people the space to openly talk about the important parts of their lives helps shatter some walls and builds connection.
Do you live alone?
This isn't necessarily creative, but if you don't want to be snowed in with bae and two roommates, I suggest you get this question answered and out of the way.
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When’s the last time you prayed?
For me, spiritual connection is important. And while everyone is on their own journey – and at their own place of spiritual development – identifying the last time someone prayed is a huge marker to how frequently they commune with God; especially since someone's church attendance – identified by the usual "do you go to church" question – does not necessarily mean they have a relationship with God. This can also spark a conversation about faith, church, and other spiritual beliefs. Obviously, if faith isn't important to you, you can skip this one.
Among your friends, what are you best known for?
With this question, you'll learn more about the company bae keeps, and about what role they play in the clique. This can be important if you like to woo the crew, or if your single homegirls are still playing the field. Double dates "on fleek"! If you live in a small city, it'll also give you a moment to dissect their tribe and assess if that is the company you want yourself associated with.
It wouldn't behoove you to ask all these questions at once, as the date will quickly turn into a counseling session. However, asking a variety of these questions can offer insight into the person's heart and mind, and can provide the spark all first date conversations should be made of. Using these questions as a guide to incite thoughtful conversation and friendly debate (emphasis on friendly) can help weed out the f*ckboys and help ensure that your cuffing season bae is top quality.
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Zoe Hunter is the writer, speaker, and creator behind the women empowerment brand DEAR QUEENS. She uses vulnerability, storytelling, and spiritual development to empower women toward healthy decision-making. Stay connected to Zoe's work by visiting DEARQUEENS.com or following her on Twitter @zDEARQUEENS.
This post is in partnership with BET+.
Kingdom Business is back for its second season, with even more sermons, songs, and serpents. The series picks up where it left off, with actress Serayah as Rbel caught between the stripper pole and the pulpit. With the first lady of the church working desperately against her, Rbel must find a way to live her dreams and honor her friend while figuring out her faith in the process.
Season one served a collection plate of rivalry, deceit, and revenge –– among many other tribulations. Between the 28-year-old’s acting, conviction, and harmonious voice, here are a few reasons why season two of Kingdom Business is a must-watch.
If the Spirit Doesn’t Move You, Serayah’s Singing Voice Will
Rbel, formally known as Rebecca Belle, is a stripper whose life forcibly takes a turn after suffering a tragedy. Through her quest to find the truth, Rbel finds herself at odds with the head of a local church, First Kingdom’s Denita Jordan, played by the legendary Yolanda Adams. Rbel unknowingly emerges as what a faithful Christian embodies: a perfectly imperfect human who works every day to try their best while leaning on God. Although struggling with her faith, each ballad sung by Rbel can be felt, as the lyrics relate to personal struggles we all endure in different ways. Gospel songs hit differently when your life is in shambles, and chile, Serayah is singing new life into folks.
Serayah is a Formidable Opponent to The Yolanda Adams
As one of the best-selling gospel artists of all time, it’s no easy task to take on the role of a person on the opposing side of greatness. Serayah’s Rbel does an excellent job meeting Jordan at her level while shining through her solos. Throughout season one, Rbel emerges as a top streaming artist, an accomplishment that begets something of a holy war.
Serayah’s Acting Range is Engaging
As a former stripper trying to make a name for herself in the gospel industry, you can imagine the struggles that could come with it. Rbel goes through a range of emotions, all understandable and relatable. Despite several crises of faith, Serayah ensures Rbel delivers a humbling performance that makes the audience root for her redemption.
The Kingdom Business Soundtrack is Everything
Streaming now on Spotify, Tidal, and Apple Music, the Kingdom Business: Season 1 soundtrack is one you’d want to add to your playlist for high and low times. Aside from four soul-soothing songs from Serayah, the soundtrack also features singles from co-star/Hamilton’s Chaundre-Hall Broomfield, gospel artist Chandler Moore, and legend Yolanda Adams.
Serayah’s Rbel Makes You Root For Her
With First Kingdom beginning to crumble under the pressure of lies, infidelity, and deception, Rbel’s window to take that top spot seems wide open; however, the end of season one showed us the Spirit had other plans. Whether you believe or not, Serayah’s Rbel makes you want to see her win. Who doesn’t love a good underdog with a laid 22” bust down? Whether she seeks Him or not, God is proving to be on Rbel’s side. But is it enough to turn everything around for her? Will Rbel lean on faith or fear?
With secrets coming to light, success within reach, and the devastating conclusion of season one, you don’t want to miss season two––especially with more guest collaborations. Kingdom Business returns to BET+ on Nov 2.
BET+ Original | Kingdom Business | S2 Official Traileryoutu.be
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Raise A Glass To Issa Rae: Prosecco, Profit, And The Power Of Diversified Success
Issa Rae is the blueprint.
As if the multi-hyphenate media mogul couldn’t add any more credentials to her already extensive resume, the Insecure creator has now entered the spirits industry with her new Prosecco line in partnership with E. & J. Gallo Winery, Viarae.
For years, this bubbly Italian wine has maintained a supporting role in the storyline within Rae’s universe. From being the drink of choice for the show’s lead character of Insecure, Issa Dee, to making special appearances during her A Sip series, it’s safe to say that you can’t indulge in Prosecco without thinking of Issa Rae.
Issa Rae, creator and founder, Viarae Prosecco
Courtesy of Viarae
In her October cover story interview withLos Angeles Magazine, Rae shared her hopes to take the stuffiness out of wine drinking and create a brand that makes luxury more approachable. "[Prosecco] just felt not as stuffy as Champagne, which I couldn't afford at the time. And it just felt approachably luxurious, which is how I like to think I live my life."
The Barbie star understands the power of her congeniality, which contributes to the success of her many endeavors. Fans and customers alike know that whether they’re tuning into her shows or picking up her Prosecco, they’re buying into the Issa Rae brand and community-driven pursuits, and truth be told, she can take all our coins.
Her Viarae Prosecco partnership is just one of the many entrepreneurial endeavors that Rae has launched on the tail of her meteoric rise.
The 38-year-old entrepreneur is one of the partners at Hilltop Coffee + Kitchen, a chain originally rooted in the heart of South Los Angeles, is the owner of the production company Hoorae, along with her record label, Raedio, has starred in hit films like Barbie and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and recently been named as the creative director for the 2024 American Black Film Festival — just to name a few.
During an interview with Billboard, the writer shared that her secret is all about having multiple streams of income. “I always say that I model myself after Diddy, Ellen [DeGeneres], and Oprah: Oprah for being able to diversify her businesses and being a major influencer in that way; Ellen for being able to make a business out of being herself; and Diddy for his business acumen in expanding beyond hip-hop. I’ve looked to them in terms of ways to make my own imprint,” Rae told the publication.
Being entrepreneurial and scrappy is a personal acumen that Rae accredits the internet for. “It comes from being on the internet. When I just wanted to put out some s**t that I had written, and then being forced to market it and then build a team around it and then having ideas about promoting it.”
"I always say that I model myself after Diddy, Ellen, and Oprah: Oprah for being able to diversify her businesses and being a major influencer in that way; Ellen for being able to make a business out of being herself; and Diddy for his business acumen in expanding beyond hip-hop. I’ve looked to them in terms of ways to make my own imprint."
Viarae Prosecco, a bright, crisp, lively, and refreshingly refined take on the classic Italian sparkling wine.
Courtesy of Viarae
In a 2020 Bustle interview with author and journalist Elaine Welteroth, Rae was clear that while she has achieved a great deal of success in her career, she was only just beginning. “Every single time you do something, there’s a moving goalpost. I still feel like I have so much more to do and so much more to prove,” she said. “To the point of competing, I guess, with myself or with some invisible being just ahead of me, I don’t feel any impact yet. And a lot of that comes with time. Yes, 2007 was 13 years ago, but [it] feels like it’s been two years. I’m like, 'I need more time.'”
Watching Rae soar as a serial entrepreneur, it’s evident that it’s Issa vs. Issa, and the bar just keeps rising — it makes you wonder what can’t she do and what will she do next, all at the same time.
In her October interview with WineEnthusiast, she shared her plans for the future, “I think if people f*ck with this, then absolutely, I would love to expand!” she said. In Issa’s world, lifestyle is king, and her mission is clear. “I want to tell stories around that lifestyle.”
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