COVID-19: Mindfulness & Parenting While Quarantined
Since the COVID-19 pandemic, this is the first week that I'm working from home with my six-year-old daughter. I've had the pleasure of a flexible working schedule for the last few years; she's had three days to learn Google Classroom and get acclimated to virtual learning.
Working from home is a great option. Working from home because you have to is OK. Working from home with kids can be difficult.
Without the proper infrastructure, there's a lot that can go wrong, from missed assignments to a lack of focus. Honestly, the uncertainty from all of the news websites doesn't help either. The internal unrest is enough to drive the sane insane.
So how am I coping? I'm not. Each day comes with its own set of challenges, and I'm doing my best to be present and intentional with my time. More importantly, finding ways to keep my daughter engaged and inspired in the absence of normality. I've decided the only way we're going to get through this is together. So, I'm committing more time towards mindfulness. Sure, it's still business as usual for most companies, including my own. But our attention is being pulled in many directions, making it impossible to work at full capacity.
Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we're doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what's going on around us. It can be activated through proven techniques, particularly seated, walking, standing, and moving meditation. When we're mindful, we reduce stress, enhance performance, gain insight and awareness through observing our mind, and increase our attention to others' well-being.
Mindfulness is not something you have to cultivate, it's already within you. It's that act of choosing to observe your breathing and your thoughts; to name them and experience them fully, and to practice non-attachment.
To participate in mindfulness is to engage in the act of refocusing the mind.
Mindfulness sparks innovation by leading us to effective responses to seemingly complicated problems. For instance, the challenges that come from working from home can be solved by working in increments. By implementing these work strategies, we can reduce stress and enhance our ability to perform.
Research has shown that mindfulness helps us reduce anxiety and depression. Mindfulness teaches us how to respond to stress with the awareness of what is happening in the present moment, rather than simply acting instinctively, unaware of what emotions or motives may be driving that decision.
Here are some other ways to cultivate mindfulness:
- Live in the moment
- Accept yourself and others
- Focus on your breathing
- Eat mindfully
- Walk mindfully
- Observe your breathing
- Connect with your senses
- Pause between actions
- Practice active listening
- Get lost in the flow of doing things you love
- Meditate daily
- Reduce the amount of news you read
- Embrace silence
If you're home with your child, I suggest adhering to a schedule and carving out time for deep breathing and meditation. Whether it be during the morning or after lunch, mindfulness can bring peace to your home. With limited playdates and fresh air, give your children the freedom to practice on their own. They may get frustrated during this period of social distancing, but this can have a calming effect.
As the governments work to flatten the curve, I'll continue to make my family's health and safety a number one priority. Mindfulness gives me the tools to manage my stress and remain agile. The silver lining in this whole situation is that I get to spend time with my baby. Watching her adapt to this new lifestyle is inspiring; kids are so resilient. She asked me if there would be school on Saturday and Sunday since they're working remotely, I responded, "No." She instantly smiled and said, "Great 'cause I need a break." We all do, baby.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Everything You Need To Know About Coronavirus
Powerful Mantras & Meditation Techniques For Mindful Mamas
4 Ways To Stay Sane When You Work From Home
Cultivating Mindfulness: The Best Meditation Practices For Your Zodiac Sign
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Ayana Iman is a certified life coach, professional speaker, and mama of one based in New Jersey. She's also known for her love of big hair, travel, and cooking. Find her across social @AyanaIman.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorney and a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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