Walking into our twenties feels like we're stepping into our artificial glow of the "I'm grown, and no one can tell me nothing" phase; however, it's the decade we're prone to making the most money mistakes. What we do with our money in our twenties could also roll over into what we're doing in our 30s. And if you're not careful, your poor spending and saving habits can cost you in the long run.
Next thing you know, when you're ready to buy a home or car and they run your credit, and it looks horrible – you have no one to blame but yourself. Stepping into adulthood, we have to own our spending habits and pave the way to build financial wealth. It's never too late to change your money mistakes, but you have to be committed to following that plan instead of enabling those bad habits. Here's a list of things you may be doing now that you NEED to change ASAP.
Not having emergency funds
Over It Reaction GIFGiphyI know when we're young, we tend to think we're untouchable. Life won't shatter in our faces, but that's a false narrative; emergencies happen to all of us – despite our age. Though we may be committed to the jobs we work at, they aren't always committed to us when they have their personal quotas to meet.
So it's possible in some part of your life you can lose your job, and what happens next when you don't have the financial backing to depend on while you're job hunting? You should aim to have at least three months of living expenses saved in an emergency fund just in case that storm ever hits where you have no income and need some grace period money to get you off your feet. Start small and begin by saving $1,000 and then keep adding to it month to month until you have three months. Dave Ramsey has a great resource on how to quickly build your emergency fund. You can find that here.
Spending more than you make
nicki minaj money GIFGiphyLearning to live below your means is the top tier secret to building wealth. I know the media plays a significant role in our spending habits as we see everyone do everything, and then we sit back and question why we aren't doing that too. Don't let comparison steal your joy and mislead you into financial ruin by living above your means.
No, you don't need every cute shoes you see or to say "yes" to every vacation your friends invite you to. You have to create a financial structure that will help you thrive in the long run, not just in the present. If you want that business, house, or car, it's not going to invest in itself; it needs your disciplined spending to build it.
Living off credit cards
Season 4 Episode 6 GIF by The OfficeGiphyListen, y'all, credit cards can be life-saving when you're in a bind, and they can also ruin your life if you don't know how to manage them. According to WalletHub, Americans started the new decade last year by owing a collective $1 trillion in credit card debt. For those who have credit card debt, the weight of the financial burden can feel quite debilitating and it can sometimes be a hole that is hard for debtors to climb out of.
In fact, the more you owe on your credit cards, the harder it is to bring up your credit score, and oftentimes credit card companies do not raise your credit limit when you owe a balance. So in order to get ahead of credit card debt, pay more than the minimum payments, factoring in the interest cost to reduce the amount of credit card debt you will have and increase your credit score.
Not saving for retirement
Oprah Retirement GIF by swerkGiphyThe sooner you start investing in your 401k or other retirement accounts, the longer that money can accumulate interest and the more funds you'll have when you are ready to retire. Saving for your retirement doesn't have to start out big; you could start out at 22 years old with your first job, investing two percent of your income to retirement and increase that rate every year or every other year. So when you step into your thirties, you'll be at the healthy ratio of investing 10 to 15 percent of your income into your retirement funds.
Not diversifying your income
work working GIFGiphyMonogamy is meant for relationships, not our careers. Don't over-commit to one job because when they need to cut their budgets or just feel like you don't fit their role anymore – they'll just let you go without warning. It's always great to have a side gig or several side gigs you can jump back into if things ever go south with your main job.
Don't burn the bridges of your side gig braiding hair, flipping homes, babysitting, dog sittings, etc. If you're a great chef, still cater events when you can; if you're a jewelry designer, work on designing your own pieces and selling them in your spare time instead of only focusing on your corporate jobs design line. Bringing in more income opens doors to invest more and build generation wealth, so those little side jobs can be investing in your child's tuition or buying that condo you have your eyes on.
Not getting renter’s insurance
stressed out stress GIF by SZAGiphyIn our 20s and 30s, we're mainly focused on moving out of our parents' place and living independently in our new apartments. I didn't even know of renter's insurance until a year of living on my own. Some people may think it's pointless because what are the odds water damage or a lousy tornado will occur and ruin your place? Or the odds that someone breaks into your apartment and steals your laptop and TV? But it happens and if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready.
So now that you have the picture painted on the potential loss, that small monthly expense doesn't seem unnecessary; it becomes a no-brainer to have some sort of renter's insurance while living in your apartment. It's better to be covered just in case versus having to cover the expense of your things if they are destroyed or stolen.
Not having a financial plan when you move in with a partner
Couple Chillin GIF by Ryan TreyGiphyTesting out the waters before marriage by living together is cute and all but you and your partner need to have the heavy conversations regarding finances. Deciding who pays what bill and how much of the rent you'll contribute, and more than anything, what you both are saving towards. Openly discussing your budget and spending habits helps to hold each other accountable to work on your credit scores, pay down debts, and entertain conversations like buying a house together and investing in vacations, babies, businesses, etc.
It may be an awkward conversation initially, but it's a conversation worth having to make sure you both grow together financially. If you find that you are not on the same pages financially, it might be worth holding off on cohabitating. Additionally, it might be useful to get something down in writing that covers the both of you if the relationship ends and you want to skip the potential mess of figuring out who lives where and if the lease will be broken.
Ladies, money mistakes are going to happen one way or another. But we have to start making big money moves by adjusting how we spend our money and what we invest in. It's never too late to stop those bad habits and create new ones to open the doors to financial freedom.
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Ajeé Buggam is a content writer and fashion designer from New York City and an alumna from the Fashion Institute of Technology. She specializes in writing about race, social injustice, relationships, feminism, entrepreneurship, and mental wellness. Check out her recent work at Notes To Self
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Sex & The New Year: Single Women Get Candid About Their 2025 Intimacy Goals
Fail to plan, plan to fail. It is certainly a saying that all of us have heard at one point or another; however, when it comes to sex, specifically, and definitely when it comes to women who aren’t married or in a serious relationship, I’m not so sure that plans are encouraged as much as they probably should be. I don’t just mean planning to get tested with partners or planning to use birth control — hopefully, those things are a given (right?).
What I mean is, if you are someone who likes to sit down and come up with resolutions for the new year, when it comes to your sex life, what exactly are you resolving to do? What sex-related goals do you actually have? Because if you don’t know and you kind of just let life “happen to you,” the way you end 2025 may not be the way you planned…because there never was a plan in place.
All of this is why I decided to ask 10 single women to pause, ponder, and then produce a semi-formal sex plan that they would be willing to share with y’all. Although a few of them were taken aback by my request at first, by the time they gave me their answer, each woman found it to be something that they would be doing annually moving forward — because, like everything else in life, knowing what you want out of sex, for yourself, is essential. And you certainly increase your chances of getting what you desire…when there is a plan in place.
*Middle names are always used in these types of interview pieces so that individuals can speak freely*
1. Hannah. 28.
Giphy“Girl, my sex plan is to stop having sex with my ex-fiancé. When we broke off our engagement 16 months ago, I’m not sure if either of us thought that we’d keep having sex like we were still together. But who wants to keep racking up bodies or risking getting an STD? Plus, the sex with him? I have never had it so good and so consistent. But when you asked me about putting a ‘sex plan’ together, and I really thought about how our relationship has no future — I accept that I need to let that last part of us go. Otherwise, I could date someone and still be having sex with my ex. I’m not going to tell him [her ex] about my plan until after our date on New Year’s Eve. Don’t judge me. I’m a work in progress!”
Shellie here: Check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”
2. Alexie. 34.
Giphy“I’m gonna have me some multiple orgasms, dammit! I am so tired of reading about them and not being able to relate. I think women have been conditioned to think that even getting one is something that we should be grateful for — you know, kind of like that Salt-N-Pepa brag about getting knocked out for the night after one ‘shot.’ No ma’am. I wanna know what it’s like to cum, pause, cum again, pause, and cum again. I’m going to make that my mission for the entire year. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
Shellie here: Check out “How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile.”
3. Thalia. 27.
Giphy“I want to learn how to enjoy oral sex more — not giving, receiving. I’ve always liked the power that comes from giving a man head, but I haven’t met a guy who makes receiving it feel as good as my girlfriends talk about. Whenever it happens to me, I feel annoyed; it’s almost like a dog is licking on me or something. Everything just feels wet, sloppy, and aimless. I’ve got a guy friend who says that he can get me what I’m after. I’m considering him because I’ll be damned if I’m out here giving out all this good head, and I end up dying not knowing what everyone else is even talking about!”
Shellie here: Check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?” and “Okay. So, This Is Why Oral Sex Is Probably Not Satisfying You (Fully).” and (just in case) “How To Preserve Your Friendship After BAD Casual Sex”
4. Icelynne. 30.
Giphy“‘Get over a man by getting under a different man’ is some bullsh-t. All you do is up your body count. The guy I’ve been seeing, the kissing is good but the sex isn’t that great, but I really like him. In the past, I would just move on, but now that you ask me to come up with a plan — I think the plan is to try and make sex better. You get older, and you realize that sometimes you ‘click’ immediately with someone, and sometimes, you need to be more patient. It’s not that the sex is bad, it’s just that I’m used to good sex being easier. Learning to talk about my needs and working with someone to meet them — that’s the plan for next year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Do You Lie About Your Body Count? Here's Why You Shouldn't.,” “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed” and “Is There REALLY Such A Thing As 'Bad Sex'?”
5. Gabriella. 45.
Giphy“I’m sick of reading about all of the different kinds of orgasms that you can have and barely knowing what a [clitoral] one feels like. If I can have a nipple orgasm, then I’m going to have one. And I can have one by myself? In my sleep? [Shellie here: Yes, sleep orgasms are an actual thing] And what’s this, you can come just from someone kissing you, right? What the f-ck?! I’m on mission to be able to say that I’ve had every type of orgasm there is. The interviewing process for this mission is about to be so funny, too. I already know.”
Shellie here: Check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”
6. Terrika. 33.
Giphy“I’m leaving faking orgasms in my rearview mirror. It doesn’t help anything. All it does is make men think that they’ve accomplished something that they haven’t and make me resent them for doing it. I hate to say it, but I’ve been acting like I’ve cum for so long that I can’t even remember the last time that I’ve had a real orgasm — oh, yes, I can, and it was two damn years ago! I think because I like sex, even if I don’t cum, is why I’ve put up with it for so long. I’m not getting any younger, and I need to make sure I end up with a man where I don’t have to do any pretending. 2025 is going to be my year. I am speaking it into existence!”
Shellie here: Check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” and “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”
7. Persephone. 38.
Giphy“I want to experience sexcations all over the world. I find it fascinating how much sex gets better for me whenever I’m in a new environment. If that can happen just with a different hotel or an Airbnb, I can only imagine what it would be like to make love in London, Cape Town, or Barcelona. It’s also sexy to get to know someone better in a different space. I met a guy [last year], and our connection is strong. We’ve been talking about stamping our passports together. We haven’t had sex yet. I think an international sexcation being our first time, would be perfect for the new year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!” and “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”
8. Evelyn. 29.
Giphy“I want to know what ‘making love’ feels like. Is that weird to say? Coming into sex, I was what my friends say is a ‘late bloomer’ because I didn’t have sex until my junior year [of college]. It wasn’t random, but it wasn’t with a guy who I loved — well, I loved him as a friend and still do, but it wasn’t a romantic type of thing. I was curious and trusted him to try it out. I don’t regret that, but since, there have only been a few others, and the pattern has been the same: sex with friends and nothing mind-blowing. [In 2025], I want to wait until I’m in a serious relationship and then have sex. I keep hearing that love-making is the best. I have no clue. Would like to know.”
Shellie here: “Unforgettable: 10 Men Open Up About That 'One Experience' They'll Never Forget”
9. Tamiko. 41.
“I want to take a break [from sex]. During my marriage, we had so many sex problems that once we divorced, I definitely made up for lost time. It was mostly because I felt like I was being ‘sexually gaslit’ by my husband — like I couldn’t get the sex that I was after, and it was my fault. Now that I know that it wasn’t a ‘me problem,’ it was an ‘us issue,’ and I’ve gotten all of my ‘itches scratched,’ I’m ready to learn some other things that make me tick outside of the bedroom. I’m not necessarily declaring abstinence for a year, but I am done with my nothing-more-than-sex quest. Next time, it will be someone who gets me excited in more than just the bed.”
Shellie here: Check out “I've Been Abstinent For 12 Years. Here's How.” and “6 Genuine Signs You're Making An Emotional Connection With Your Sex Partner”
10. Lana. 51.
Giphy“My plan is to be more open-minded — not so much when it comes to my standards for a partner but the things that I’m willing to do sexually. I’m not the most conservative person on the planet, but when it’s always in the back of your mind that you can get pregnant, that can make you more cautious. I’m on the tail end of menopause now, so I suddenly feel more adventurous. With a steady sex partner, I’m ready to try whatever and do whatever. Sex that exceeds anything I’ve done before…that is my 2025 plan, girl. Let’s go!”
Shellie here: Check out “What Having Sex After Menopause Is Like, According To 10 Women”
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Featured image by Bob Thomas/Getty Images