Being happy for another woman's major moves doesn't take away from your own accomplishments.
In fact, showing appreciation for your fellow girl boss can actually boost your own confidence and push you to go even harder. You can't go wrong with saluting another woman, but I know that this is easier said than done. I'm an introvert, so even saying the nicest things to someone I don't know can feel super awkward.
Related: 7 Ways Women Can Empower One Another
The reality is, you never know what a woman needs to hear to keep going, even from a perfect stranger. Your positivity toward her has the ability to turn her entire day around, and that's a great feeling. Ultimately, there are more positive side effects to clapping it up for another woman than there are for tearing her down, or not saying anything at all. Here's why celebrating other women is actually a win for you, too.
1.It Will Kill Your Own Insecurities
Cheering on another woman can make you feel so much better about yourself. I'll never forget when Gabrielle Union explained her struggle with this concept on Jada Pinkett Smith's Red Table Talk series. She told the story of when she was at a Hollywood party, and made it a point to come for for almost every woman in the room in attempt to make herself feel bigger. Her jealous comments included everything from wondering how they got on the list to criticizing their attire. It was then that her life coach, actress AJ Johnson, stepped in and asked Gabi if blasting these other women made her feel any better about herself. It didn't. It's safe to say she isn't the only woman dealing with deeply rooted insecurities. But, one thing I noticed that Gabrielle has done lately is intentionally celebrate other women with the #WCW feature on her Instagram.
She explained how she's been able to change her inner hate for other women into love and celebration, which has slowly but surely helped to erase her own insecurities. It's just something about celebrating another woman that makes you feel good about yourself. Instead of coming down on a woman because deep down she's your desired body shape, or is living the career of your dreams, celebrate her. The more you do that, the more you'll see your own strength and positive attributes because they're definitely there. They just have to stop hiding behind those insecurities.
2.It Can Build Your Own Network of Positive Women
It's the law of attraction. When you celebrate other women, other women will celebrate you. By this logic, sooner than later, you'll have a network of boss women who clap it up for each other on the regular. There's definitely more positivity and power in cheering on another woman than attempting to tear her down in hopes of feeling better about yourself, even if this jealousy is subconscious. Both options bring attention, but it's not all good.
When you build up another woman, whether it's complimenting her earrings, or acknowledging a major move, you attract the same type of love. When you tear her down, you attract negativity. Celebrating a woman that you look up to can lead to her becoming your mentor in real life, or just a good friend that you can trust. On the flip side, the friendships that start with a common dislike for someone don't last, and can turn toxic with a quickness. It's important that you're clear about what type of friend and network you want to have.
3.You'll Be Happier With Your Own Life
Sounds a little ironic, doesn't it? But when you decide to recognize the positive that lies within another woman, you'll start to see the good things in your own life. To be clear, it's not the same as cheering her on and wishing you had the same thing. Instead, it's realizing that you have your own lane to rock, and that only you can do it well. Doing it for the culture sometimes creates competition among women, but the most challenging competition is the one that exists within yourself. Having this mindset can motivate you to go down the path that's meant for you, all while you cheer on the women around you who are doing their own thing.
Celebrating other women and sincerely being happy for them can also cancel out jealousy. A good rule of thumb might even be to genuinely compliment a woman on something you've had issues with, or felt jealous about in the past or present. You'll soon discover that you're pretty amazing too. The whole "kill them with kindness" vibe doesn't just benefit them. This state of mind helps you find happiness internally as well.
4.You'll Become Your Best Cheerleader
Celebrating other women is a reminder to celebrate your damn self every once in a while. You deserve a good pat on the back too, and you should never be afraid to tell yourself that. Being a celebrator of all things women can make you feel more comfortable with doing the same for yourself. Like I said before, saluting another woman will in no way stifle your own power. As you make it a goal to say something nice to another woman, create those same objectives for yourself. Whether it's reciting positive affirmations in the morning, or leaving sticky notes around the house that are riddled with encouraging messages, you don't have to feel like you're missing out on any love when you use your energy to cheer on another shero.
Encouraging other women will give you the boost you need to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. This new sense of adventure will offer you even more of a reason to celebrate yourself, along with all the other women you happen to meet on your journey.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Maat Petrova, the founder and owner of the feminine care company FemMagic, teaches about feminine energy and helps to empower women through her social media posts, Instagram Live meditations, and products such as her Coocheewaa feminine wash and Vagelixir. In our conversation, she broke down this essential question.
“Femininity can be like wearing the red lipstick and having your nails done and, you know, the way you carry yourself. I see femininity as more so an external thing and an external derivative of feminine energy. Feminine energy is the source,” she tells xoNecole.
Maat PetrovaPhoto courtesy of Maat Petrova“Many women can look feminine or have femininity, display femininity but are completely tapped into their masculine [energy.] They got the look, they got the clothes, they got the hair, the nails, and they’ll even have the tone, but they are broken, in their masculine energy.”
When it comes to feminine energy versus masculine energy, Maat says everyone has both and describes it as yin and yang. As women, we should be feminine with a speck of masculine. However, due to circumstances such as our environments and careers, we often get so consumed by our masculine energy that we forget to be in our feminine energy. Maat experienced this growing up in NYC, and it took her moving to Atlanta to make changes.
“Sometimes you change from the inside out. Sometimes you change from the outside in. There’s no method or specific way that anyone’s journey is supposed to be. So for me, when I moved to Georgia, it was an outside-in journey, where my environment changed me,” she explains.
However, both energies work in harmony to manifest the life you want. “The characteristics with feminine and masculine energy is masculine is more assertive where feminine is just being, masculine is doing—feminine is more nurturing, masculine is more logical,” she says. For example, when it comes to accomplishing business goals, doing the physical work, such as networking or creating an LLC, is masculine, and the mental work, such as visualizing it and thinking of creative ideas, is feminine.
Manifestation is often described as the act of attracting something tangible into your life, whether that be a romantic partner, a new career opportunity, or meeting a financial goal. A popular manifestation method is the law of attraction, which according to thelawofattraction.com, means like attracting like. Another method that Maat has successfully used is meditation.
Maat PetrovaPhoto courtesy of Maat PetrovaMaat shares that she had a goal of making a million dollars in a year, and so one of the first things she did was meditate every morning, specifically using visualization meditation. From there, she began meditating on Instagram Live at 6:45 a.m. each day, and she was joined by many others who had similar goals. Positive Psychology states that visualization meditation is a positive image or guided imagery visualized in the mind’s eye, and it can help “strengthen focus,” “enhance creativity,” and “improve self-image.”
“Manifesting is an extremely feminine energetic thing. The work you have to do to support the manifestation is the masculine,” shares Maat. “So again, feminine is being, and masculine is doing. So, when I manifested my first million dollars– when I say manifested... I was already making high six-figures with my company FemMagic, and I started a meditation called ‘Manifestation Meditation’ in Feb 2020.”
She continues explaining how a workshop inspired her to start daily meditation. “I went to a workshop. The workshop was like, do something every day. Commit to one thing and just do it every day, and I chose meditation. I’m like, I already have my diet on point, I’m already working out all the time, what else can I do to increase myself?”
According to Maat, more opportunities began coming her way, and she gradually began seeing a financial increase without having to do extra labor, such as filling more product orders. “I didn’t make more products. I wasn’t working physically. I was working mentally and spiritually,” she explains.
Meditation is a centuries-old spiritual technique that can help ground you and connect you with your feminine energy. But if meditation isn’t your thing, Goop listed a few more ways you can achieve similar results. This includes journaling, breathwork, yoga, and drinking tea.
If you don’t know where you fall on the scale of masculine energy and feminine energy, Maat has some suggestions.
“Look at the definition of feminine energy. Feminine energy is nurturing, it's patience, it's grace, it's being, it's allowing, it's receiving. Do a scale from 1-5 or 1-10 and rate yourself on each of that,” she says. “Look at the list of feminine characteristics and rate yourself. Then, get the list of masculine, assertive, aggressive, action-oriented, angry, doing, and rate yourself on that.”
For more information about Maat, check out her websites Femmagic.com and Maatpetrova.com. Maat is also having her third annual Feminine U Goddess conference on October 28, 2023 in Atlanta, Georgia.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy of Maat Petrova
