If memory serves me correctly, Cassie was 20 when she first officially made her way onto the music scene as a newly-signed Bad Boy artist. Her first single was "Me & U". I remember watching the video and being like, "She's cute." But for me, it wasn't until I saw her in the moviePerfect Match, starring as the love interest of Terrence J. a few years back, that I was like, "Look at Cassie. She's grown grown." It was then that I noticed her having the kind of sexiness and style that puts you—well, at least me—in the mindset of Rihanna in some of the very best ways possible.
But you know what? These past several months, Cassie has captured my attention in a way like never before. First, she got mad respect from me for how graciously she supported Diddy during the loss of Kim Porter—a true love of his life and the mother of three of his children (although he also claims Al B. Sure's son Quincy as one of his own too). Something else that I really esteem about Cassie after this year is the fact that, although Black Twitter has been incessantly lightin' Diddy up for missing out on a good thing (being Cassie), she hasn't said much, if anything, about their relationship. Instead, she's been focused on her new life and new normal—her relationship with her man and now fiance' Alex Fine, and preparing for the entrance of their baby girl. There is something about how Cassie's been letting her Instagram account do the talking that has come off us mature, dignified and totally self-aware. Not only that but she seems to be at peace, living in the moment and very much in love.
You can see all of this resonate via the post that she shared of her engagement. Even though she turned 33 yesterday—Happy Belated Birthday, sis!— you'll see that her caption says that it was actually Saturday (8/24) that was her best day ever. If you make the time to check the video out (and also scroll on her page to check out some shots of her baby bump), it's very apparent why that is the case.
As I watched and oooed and ahhed with all of the others who have caused Cassie to trend on Twitter today, I thought about the fact that, while most of us will probably never be within fifty feet of her, there is something about her late 2018-2019 glow up that hits home for us all. In some ways, she's been the best kind of teachable moment. For me, here are the six lessons that observing her and how she moves has taught me.
Lesson #1. Do Something Different to Get Something New
I've written in the entertainment lane long enough to have learned to be very careful about commenting on famous people's personal lives like I actually know them and have all of the facts. Therefore, I have no clue what the true inner workings of Cassie and Diddy's relationship were; this includes not knowing if she was fine with being in a decade-plus relationship that didn't move to the point of them jumping the broom. However, what I do know is that the minute that she—at least to us—quietly made her exit out of that dynamic, it wasn't too long after that we started to see Mr. Fine. Some party shots from last December caused a lot of us to be like "Oh?" and now, eight months later—she's about to be a wife and a mom.
So yeah, I don't think that any of us need to know the details to be able to come to the confident conclusion that if you want something different than what you currently have going on, you've got to be willing to switch some things up—to let some things go, to try something new, to be open to leaving the past behind you. That's my first takeaway from Ms. Cassie's ever-evolving journey.
Lesson #2. If It’s Not Working…IT’S NOT WORKING
I once loved a man for 10 years. I spoke with him not too long ago and if there's one thing that we can agree on, it's the fact that we actually loved, and still love, each other. The challenge is that I desire to be married someday and he? He has no clue what he wants to do in that arena. That's the thing. Unless you've been in something similar, it's probably hard for you to understand that just because you may be involved with someone and the relationship doesn't go how you planned (or others think it should go), that doesn't automatically or necessarily mean the relationship sucked or the guy is a jerk. Sometimes you simply want different things and, because feelings are there, it can be hard to let one another go so that you can get to what you truly desire.
What makes you finally walk out? I won't speak for Cassie, but I'll speak for me. Sometimes loving another individual teaches you how to love yourself more, better or differently than you did before knowing them. And when that love has solidified, you can love yourself enough to say, "I don't know what the future has in store, but what I do know is this isn't serving me anymore. So, I love you, but I love me more. And since I am single and my top priority, I need to do what's best for me, regardless of what you think about it or even how it affects you, really."
Somebody needs to hear this loud and clear. You can still love someone and know that since something is not working, it's an act of love—love for your future and whatever the other person needs to learn without you being so present in their lives—to move on. PLEASE DO.
Lesson #3. The Right Man Is Ready, Willing and Totally Able
The Universe is both cryptic and hilarious. Right around the time when Cassie posted a pic of her then-boyfriend-now-fiance', I had an article published on here entitled "One Overlooked Yet Obvious Indicator That A Man Is Husband Material". I don't know if Diddy is a commitment-phobe or marriage just ain't on his menu (yet). At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. What I do know is the third lesson that Cassie has taught me, actually comes from her man this time. It was basically in December that they went public and, not even a year later, this man literally saddled up, rode up to his lady, got down on one knee and sealed the deal. It didn't take 10 years, or even five or one. He knew what he wanted and he made it happen. And clearly, a part of what he wants is to be a husband. Cassie's husband.
A lot of us waste time with a man, not because he isn't a good man, but because he doesn't want what we do or he isn't at a point in his life to prepare for it. If we stay anyway and, as a direct result, only end up wasting more time, really…whose fault is that? That's my third lesson. (Thank you, Alex.)
Lesson #4. Timing Really Is Everything
I write a lot, so I can't remember exactly when or where I said this, but I know that I've shared that one thing about lessons of the heart, no matter how great or heart-wrenching the experience may have been, is they all are able to teach you some things that you probably wouldn't have learned any other way.
Again, I don't know Cassie, our paths have never crossed in any shape, form or fashion, but I'm willing to bet some pretty good money that she'll tell you that the woman she was at 20 is totally different than the woman she is now at 33. And yes, her past relationship(s) play a direct role in that. And because of what she's learned, she is able to take that wisdom into her upcoming marriage and her new season of motherhood. For that alone, she is grateful for the experiences and the growth. It was all preparation. All of it.
Speaking of motherhood, I must say that when I looked at her baby bump, I thought about something I heard someone say about how to tackle feelings of low self-esteem—"Automatically, you are a fighter and a winner because out of all of the sperm that made it to your mom's egg, it was you. YOU." Keeping that point in mind, while looking at Cassie, I thought, "Now that she's in the kind of relationship that she desires in this stage and season of her life, love is birthing new life."
Lesson #4. The right kind of love isn't just about feelings. It's also about well-placed timing too. You can't do it all. Just do your part. Let timing do the rest. As timing sees fit. Believe you me, it knows some things that you absolutely do not.
Lesson #5. What You Seek Is Seeking You
I don't know the full history of Cassie and Alex. I do know that it's been reported, countless times, that he was hired to be her trainer once upon a time. There's been plenty of speculation about what transpired since that initial meeting, but when I briefly revisited all of the gushing that Alex did on his Instagram at the news of Cassie's pregnancy, all I could think about is the Rumi quote—"What you seek is seeking you."
Sometimes, the thing that we hope or even try and make happen with someone isn't working out because they aren't truly what we're looking for. What I mean by that is, well, my favorite quote by author and speak Leo Buscaglia expresses it all perfectly:
"As soon as the love relationship does not lead me to me, as soon as I in a love relationship do not lead another person to himself, this love, even if it seems to be the most secure and ecstatic attachment I have ever experienced, is not true love. For real love is dedicated to continual becoming."
If who you're with doesn't line up with what you want, always remember that real love is about your constantly evolution and the Universe seeks to bring you what you truly desire—and need. If the person you're with can't honor you in that way, the Universe will beckon you to look elsewhere.
Maybe towards your trainer. Maybe somewhere else. #winkwink
Lesson #6. Love Does Not Hurt. Love Nurtures, Heals and Fulfills.
Did you see how BIG Cassie's smile was at the end of the engagement video? No two people are perfect, no love relationship either. But what I haven't seen since the entrance of Mr. Fine is anxiety, confusion or pain. Cassie really does seem happy. No, she seems like she has joy. Happy is fleeting. Joy is a state of being.
And if that is what you want, no matter how much you love or even want to be with someone, if joy isn't coming your way, you've got to be willing to comply with whatever needs to happen so that you can get to the kind of love—and lover—that you truly deserve. A love that nurtures. A love that heals. A love that fulfills.
So yes, Ms. Soon-To-Be Cassie Fine, I'm happy for you today like I'm one of your homies or something. Because in many ways, you represent the love journey that may of us are on. And you are living proof that if we're willing to learn, apply and wait, good will come our way. Enjoy all of the blessings of this new season. We're rooting for you, Alex and that sure-to-be beautiful baby girl of yours. We really and truly are.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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Feature image by Alex Fine/Instagram
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (email@example.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
Amber Riley Is In Her Element
Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
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Better Off Braless: The Benefits Of Not Wearing A Bra More Often
Somewhere between the start of the pandemic and entering the late stages of my 20s, bras become less and less of a priority.
Within that span of time, I, like most of the world, spent my days inhabiting my small bubble, staying in the house with loose-fitting loungewear, and being on Zoom calls that only required me to be presentable from the neck up. So as the demand to have my breasts at their perkiest form, so did my commitment to wearing bras.
The relationship that most women have with their bras is… well, complicated. While society has led us to believe that they’re required for us to be deemed as “ladylike” and “neat,” many of us find the garment to be a bothersome (and optional) accessory at best.
From underwires that poke and dig at our sides to push-ups that spill over, the argument in support of bras has begun to wane over the last few decades, with women of all cup sizes asking themselves if it’s better to just go braless.
Courtesy of Harper Wilde
“Many years ago, I ditched wired bras and opted for going braless out of a desire for freedom and celebrating natural human form,” multi-hyphenate Alyson Stoner tells xoNecole. The movement activist best known for their fly dance moves with the likes of Missy Elliott and on Step Up 2: The Streets, shares that when it comes to their bra selection, comfort is key. “As someone who enjoys moving their body, I found that I do want an underlayer that provides some support without interfering with comfort and mobility.”
A source of concern when choosing to go braless is whether or not the lack of support from a bra will, in turn, affect the firmness of one’s breast, resulting in early sagging. However, Sabrina Sahni, M.D., an oncologist at Mayo Clinic in Florida, shares that breast sagging is a result of age, not whether you’ve ditched your bras.
“Sagging breasts – also called ptosis – generally occurs due to chronic aging,” she tells xoNecole. “The breast is made up of a combination of glandular and fibrous tissue and fat tissue. Over time, the glandular tissue may become replaced with fattier tissue, and that can lead to more sagging. Wearing a bra or not wearing a bra ultimately does not change that.”
"Wearing a bra or not wearing a bra ultimately does not change that."
Women with heavier breasts may find that going braless may have its set of drawbacks, but Dr. Sahni says that you should always pay attention to your comfort levels since bras are a garment designed to support your back and correct your posture. “Those with heavier or larger breasts who choose to go braless may actually have worsening back/neck/shoulder pain,” she says. “Wearing a bra may allow them to correct their posture and help alleviate tension on those muscle groups.”
“Women with larger breasts may benefit from wearing a well-fitted, supportive bra as it may alleviate things like upper back pain or neck pain,” she shares.
Listening to your body is key when choosing whether you want to toss out your bras forever or just for a day. The beauty in a woman’s body is that it will tell us what we need to know before we even have to ask. There are common misconceptions about tighter bras being linked to causing health issues like breast cancer.
And while studies do show that Black women are “twice as likely to be diagnosed with breast cancer early when compared with Caucasian women,” the manifestation of this disease is predetermined by other varying factors.
“There are a lot of myths out there about going braless being better for breast cancer risk. It is completely false,” Dr. Sahni explains. “Whether or not you wear a bra does not have any bearing on your overall breast cancer risk. Ultimately, your risk is dependent on a variety of factors, including family history, your breast density, your lifestyle, and your reproductive history.”
If you’re looking for classic, weightless comfort that’s close to going braless, Alyson Stoner recommends Harper Wilde, a body-inclusive intimates brand on a mission to create a more comfortable world for womankind. They currently have a capsule collection with the intimates brand in partnership with their company, Movement Genius.
“Harper Wilde has been my go-to for years now because the materials are truly soothing on my sensitive skin, the amount of support feels like you're being gently hugged (not squeezed), and the styles are flattering and beautiful enough to wear as shirts or visible layers,” they say.
Courtesy of Harper Wilde
The brand offers super soft, breathable cotton fabric in their Triangle and Scoop Bralettes ($40 each) that will put the bliss and comfort back in your bosom.
Dr. Sahni says that choosing to opt out of bras or keep them close to your chest “truly depends on the individual” but it should be understood that “wearing or not wearing a bra won't significantly impact your overall health.”
“Ultimately, it comes down to comfort. There are some women with chronic breast pain where perhaps changing their bras to something more supportive and well-fitted may help,” she says. “Alternatively, some women find that going bra-less will alleviate their breast pain. I tell women that they should choose a bra that is comfortable for them, feels supportive, and one that they can wear regularly.”
So whether you choose to free the tatas or wear a bra that feels like it’s barely there, remember to listen to your body because ultimately, the choice is yours.
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