Meet The Unapologetically Black Creative Force Behind PRADA's Social Game
The moment Candace Marie Stewart took her first trip to New York City, she understood why her life in Arkansas didn't make sense. While southern girls have a unique perception of style and flair, Candace felt a soul tie to the Big Apple that she couldn't ignore. Ever since she made the fashion capital of the US her home, this social media maven has been creating a name for herself despite the status quo. We all know that behind every dope Instagram account is a super lit black woman.
The Arkansas native found a way to marry her two loves: fashion and social media. With brands like ESSENCE, Vogue, People and Lucky on her badass resume, it's hard not to root for Candace. She is wildly known for bringing the culture to international Fashion Weeks where she might be the only woman of color in the space. Not only is she a certified street style killa, she has brains to match, holding a MBA in finance.
Candace Marie can't be put in a box because she's too much of a creative soul. When we asked her how she describes her style, she said, "I can never put it in a box because I can appreciate so many different types of style. I love that you can create a character depending on what place you're going. I can create myself and be anything that I want to be and it really can be different. It could be t-shirt jeans or it could be super fabulous over-the-top designer couture. I like to play both sides where it doesn't have to necessarily be in this statement of 'this is what it is' or one word."
The creative force to be reckoned with recently leveled up and traded her time as the creative mind behind Barney's social to the role of social media manager for PRADA. Yes, the PRADA. We had the chance to kiki with the boss babe about how she feels about inclusivity in fashion, what's next for her and the biggest lessons she's learned from holding her own in these major domains.
Do you remember the moment you fell in love with fashion?
Photo Courtesy of Candace Marie
It always felt internal but the thing that I can pinpoint was in middle school and I tried to find myself like with any other teenager in high school or growing up. You're trying to find yourself in a lot of ways and you express yourself through the way you dress. I never felt like I could find anything that I really, really liked and then the internet became more popular where you could see things but not too much. I remember always being on ASOS because it was one of those few places. I remember taking one of my mother's silk scarves and there was a really, pretty orange and pink scarf so I thought, "I can tie this and make it to a shirt and wear my denim jacket over it."
My mother saw me on the way out and she didn't say much but then I'm in class and I hear, " Candace to the front office," over the intercom. I get there and my dad said, "Hey, I'm checking you out for the day." I was thinking something had happened and he tells me that my mom told him to come pick me up and make me change. So my dad took me to this sewing place and he told me to pick out a sewing machine. He said, "The next time you want to wear something make it yourself." I ended up teaching myself how to sew and seeing different designs I even made my own prom dress. I kind of want to get back into that world because my mother knew how to sew as well and anything that she knew she taught me. That's the first memory I have of like actually putting it into motion.
You've worked with big brands, like ESSENCE, Vogue, People and Lucky. What was the biggest lesson you learned from being in those major domains?
Hard work. I would look at my peers and then compare myself because we started off interning together then we did freelance together and we worked here and here. You go back and start measuring yourself up to what everyone's doing right now.
I always said, "You’re u don't have to be the smartest in the room or the most clever person but a hardworking person will outlast anyone because you have to be consistent."
The thing in the fashion industry and other industries, is hearing alot of no's. Hearing 'no' a thousand times can make you feel this industry is not for you. I've had alot of friends that felt it got too hard and they decided to take another route. I never felt like just because you didn't get the 'yes' that you thought that you wanted or thought that it should be, doesn't mean you weren't meant to be in the industry.
How do you feel about the state of inclusivity and fashion?
Photo Courtesy of Candace Marie
They can do way better. So much is hidden and deep-rooted that they don't realize what it is. I could be sitting in a board meeting and I question why am I the only black person out of 45 people that are here? I'm analyzing it in my head; there's not one other person of color in the room. I've had conversations with peers who are black or a minority and we don't want to be the Bible for all things black. It needs to be a shift and a change. I honestly noticed it more as I started to travel and go to Fashion Weeks. You're not seeing any other women of color at the shows especially going into the luxury space. I remember a photographer told me he was shooting me because he wanted to make the street style some type of diverse. It's not their fault.
Women of color are not being invited to these shows therefore you can't capture what's not there so it's like this domino effect.
Also, it was a goal for me to not even try to fit in because I like to rock braids and cornrows; this is how I feel. I'm looking different than every single person. It starts internally at these companies with the people that are behind the closed doors. Not the models. They're not thinking about us because people are normally thinking about who they're similar to naturally because you're going to pick someone's beauty standards who look like you. With that in mind, you need to have other people of various diversities, religion, etc because you're going to naturally be biased. And I said that so many times on my own team. I'm like, "Listen, I keep on picking black women. Can y'all give me somebody else because I'm always going to be attracted to the dope black girl." But again, it starts behind closed doors.
If you had to choose the best and worst parts of your job. What would they be?
Photo Courtesy of Candace Marie
The best part is that it's ever-creative and fast paced. I love that because I'm creating it as I go. From the videographers I work with to the talent, I've always been able to try new things without having stipulations. Just because, again, it's a newer industry. Honestly, a lot of times people don't even know themselves what they want so it's nice to be able to try different things and bring the diversity factor from the talent to the photographer to the space. Like, how does that look? I would say the worst part is…two things.
The fashion industry is already crazy, but social media is 24 hours so I never have a break and I need a vacation. I need to chill.
I have to constantly remind myself that I need to take care of my body because I haven't been to the doctor the entire year. I need to keep up with myself and the older I get, I'm putting what is important in perspective and what is not. Also, the other worst thing is that because social media is very on display, from a company standpoint, I always say imagine if every email that you sent was displayed to your entire company every time you send it because everyone has an opinion on it from a company standpoint. Everyone thinks they know how to do it. So you get a lot of opinions about your job. At the end of the day, I love to do recaps and reports stating this is why we did what we did.
With you saying you have to remind yourself to take care of yourself, how do you make time for Candace? How do you do self-care?
Family time. All of my family is still back in Arkansas but I literally FaceTime somebody from my family every single day whether it's an aunt or my nieces. Just hearing the kids laugh on the phone is good for me. I'm consistently on the phone with my siblings and my parents because those are the people that are going to love me regardless. They could care less about the fashion industry. They can care less because they don't understand it and that's such a breath of fresh air to step away from it. Also, I always take a bubble bath every single day just because it makes me stop and say, "This is my time."
I can disconnect and separate myself and put things back into perspective.
I just started working out again after I fractured my foot last year. I was rushing to work and fractured my foot. And I thought, this is crazy. Work is never that important. Your physical health is more important than all of this. I am my number one priority, everything else comes second. I am starting with a new company and I told them I needed a week off before I start. They asked if I could start Monday and I said, "No, I need a week off." I have to be at my best to give you my best. If I am empty, I can't give you anything. Thank
As a woman of color, what do you find the most intriguing about us magical beings?
I would probably say our hair but it is more like our creativity. Because we are so creative and I posted a meme I found where the woman changes her hair every week to a different hairstyle. It was so me and I can never keep the same style for long. That creativity comes out in my job as well. At work, they always ask what I think because I always give the most out of the box ideas.
That's what people don't see. When you hire us, you are getting so much creativity.
When I look on social media, from dancing to jokes, my friends and I talk about how only black people can create this type of magic. We are really so bomb. I was watching Beyonce's Homecoming and I think she said some of these things that we can do isn't normal and that's the thing, our creativity is not normal. I am in awe of how we can take something so basic and make it so creative.
You've already made a huge impact on fashion and social media, what's next for you?
Photo Courtesy of Candace Marie
I'm coming more into my own, if that makes any sense. I'm becoming more comfortable being in such an industry. Sometimes people feel like it's such a juxtaposition for black people to exist in luxurious spaces but we do it and we are seeing it with collaborations like Dapper Dan and Gucci. And with that, there were still some underlying things that were like taking place. For me, I just want that next step to include me bridging the gap.
We belong in this space and we can own this space and we deserve job opportunities, from modeling to photography to being invited to these shows.
My next step is going to really start to intertwine that. Social media will always be there too because that's a passion of mine. I love doing it for friends and different businesses and things of that nature, but I do want to see that gap close up where you don't have to second-guess yourself [as a person of color] or I don't have to worry about being the only black person in a space. Am I going to see anyone else that looks like me in this space? I feel that my next step will allow me to own that better because I feel like a lot of what I did at Barney's was me laying the foundation and seeing a lot of those fruits from my labor happen. As much as I love social media, I'll always be a black woman. There's no separation from that.
Keep up with Candace on social.
*This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?
Even though it’s my life, sometimes I look at it and totally trip out over certain things.
For instance, even though I am aware that both Hebrew and African cultures put a lot of stock in the name of a child (because they believe it speaks to their purpose; so do I) and I know that my name is pretty much Hebrew for divine covenant, it’s still wild that in a couple of years, I will have been working with married couples for a whopping two decades — and boy, is it an honor when they will say something like, “Shellie, we’ve seen [professionally] multiple people and no one has been nearly as effective as you have been.”
Yep, me. Little ole’ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, y’all better quit letting people tell you what you’re called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe I’ve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is — “You better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big ‘ole party for all of the work that you’re about to do.” And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, “And you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.”
Why do I emphasize that point so much? It’s because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think it’s important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife — or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
It’s Time to Stop “Living for the Fairy Tale”
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that I’ve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan “A diamond is forever” and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, I’ll just let you read Insider’s “Here's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,” if you’re interested.
And as far as marriage goes, don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m living for the fairy tale” narrative that gets pushed incessantly. I’ve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means “a story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creatures” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.” Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, what’s up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric that’s so popular and also, so… “silly” is the first word that comes to mind, “unrealistic” is the second and “unnecessary” is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom — all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldn’t afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it — even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your “why”?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) — WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, “When you find your ‘why’, you will find a way to make it happen.” And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there aren’t enough “why” questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying “why” you want a huge wedding is nothing more than “because I want to” or “why” you chose the man that you did is simply “I love him” — I’ve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply aren’t good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thing…not by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I’m good for throwing some Scripture in; it’s a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word that’s used to define it in the Bible is “helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual — in this case, a husband.
While we’re here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and it’s good. Lawd, I can’t tell you how many wife clients I’ve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does “good help” look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into “Am I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?”
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that I’m not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the “princess treatment.” Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is “Fathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queen” — and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. It’s not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do — and it’s not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Y’all, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, I’ll just end this part of the article with, “If you’re not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, you’re not ready to be a wife.” Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (I’m writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people don’t have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when you’re dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person you’re seeing keeps their word — and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying “I do.” And while we’re here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly don’t see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it — to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way — down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a “trick” that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldn’t feel like they are falling for someone when they’re able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big ole’ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watch UnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isn’t even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you don’t want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you don’t want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you don’t want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you don’t want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you don’t want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual — marriage isn’t for you.
You’d be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I don’t mean marry yourself; you are already “one” with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce because…divorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union — yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. It’s not a party. It’s a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Don’t Get Married Until You’re Sure That You Want…BOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I don’t immediately respond with, “Congrats! That’s awesome.” NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “For real. Why?” WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, “What do you mean ‘why’?” and then follow that up with, “Because I’m in love” or…they don’t really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesn’t really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT — Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think you’ve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because you’re both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, that’s not asking enough. I don’t care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I don’t care how much divorce has been normalized. I don’t care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (it’s not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (it’s not) — marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just said…not simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, that’s a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: it’s because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for — not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; you’ll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: “When it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesn’t excite you more than being a bride — wait. You’re not ready yet.”
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
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