Confessions: I Am A Plus-Size Webcam Girl
The phrase, "Sometimes you have to do what you have to do," get's thrown around. A lot. But when you're stuck in a financial rut, and your choices for getting extra cash is limited, the same phrase takes on new meaning, and goes from "thrown around" to "real talk."
The truth in the "do what you have to do" phrase became real to me three years ago when my unemployment was set to run out. I had searched high and low for a job, and had no luck. I had just enough money left to pay one more month of rent, and a bit of groceries before imminent doom set in.
After running into one closed door after the next, I decided to get creative, and so I Googled "at home jobs." During my very frantic job search, I ran into a webcam modeling advertisement. I paid it no mind at first because there was one problem:
I am fat.
I never thought in a million years that someone would want to pay-per-minute to see me do things to my naughty bits, but curiosity really got the best of me. Not to mention that my bills had to get paid. I can't walk in heels to save my life so stripping was out. After signing up to be a web chat host, I shrugged it off for a few days. I mean who would be interested in me of all people?! Another Google search showed me that there were other plus sized women cam girls. I was already aware of plus sized women in the adult [film] world, just not with webcam. I also learned that there is a huge market for plus sized women doing webcam videos. It's a really diverse industry. I guess you can say I found the tiniest glimmer of hope in a job that kind of intimidated me.
To get my self ready for my first day on the job, I spent what little money I had on a new webcam. In my mind, it was due or die time. The next few days I got dolled up, but I couldn't bring myself to actually take the webcam out of the box and hook it up to my laptop. It hit me at that moment that I was scared.
But I was determined to keep a roof over my head.
The following night, after I dolled myself up again, I logged on to start my first shift as a cam girl. As soon as the site told me I was streaming LIVE, I wrapped my Hello Kitty snuggie around my head and body. I freaked out when I came to the realization that people can actually see me all over the world. Even my neighbor. Mom. Past employer.
As I sat like a deer in headlights someone logged into my chatroom, and asked me what was I doing.... That was a great question because frankly I was wondering the same exact thing. My first shift was 12-hours long. I made a whopping $37. I felt over joyed because well, those $37 were spent on me.
I was too broke to buy toys or lube for my cam shows so I had to make do with what I had. So on my second night, I defrosted my cucumber (you read it right). Looking back I remember the cucumber would defrost and there would be juice all over the place. After each shift I threw it back in the freezer. After about two weeks, it was done for.
It didn't matter anyway, because at that point, I was able to afford toys. I also met someone who would become a very close friend. He taught me how the website worked, what to say or do, and how each feature worked. I am thankful for him, because I probably wouldn't have been able to manage this job on my own those first few nights.
As each shift passed I started slowly growing my fan base, and my paychecks grew a little more as time went on. On my best night ever, I made just under $800 dollars. I made $11 dollars on my slowest night. I've also made $300 in an hour, just like I've made $0 in an hour. It comes with the territory and the nature of the business. I am by no means wealthy or debt free, but I can honestly say I've transformed myself into a confident woman who no longer walks into a room with her head down.
But somehow, my "lucky streak" started to fade away when I had to face one of the biggest hurdles that comes with being a webcam girl - telling my mom what I did for a living. In fact, I did the first two and a half years as a webcam model in secrecy because I did not want to worry my mother, and she already had a ton on her plate. I eventually told mom about my job after I had several setbacks around Christmas 2015. Two of them was the fact that my laptop and Internet were out of commision for an entire week, which meant no webcam and no money being made. I also had no idea how I was going to pay my rent. So I prayed that if a blessing came my way, that I would lead a more honest life. I guess you can say the blessing came in the form of a $700 credit card offer.
Just after I praised the heavens above I got a text from my mom. Somewhere in our text exchange, she asked me, "So what do you do for work? How do you make your money?"
I knew at that point, it was time for me to come clean. After a really long heart-to-heart, she ended the long text conversation with "go make that money honey."
I swear a thousand pounds was lifted off my shoulders. To know that my mom supported me meant the absolute world to me. Even today we joke about my job, and she'll ask me how work went. Everything is different now, even the energy I feel when working. I think because my mom was a single parent of four kids, she can genuinely understand how hard it can be sometimes.
The rough part of this job includes me not having a person who wants to know my spirit instead of my body. Most men claim they would date a cam girl, but when it comes down to it, they can't handle knowing that their girlfriend is off somewhere taking her clothes off for a living. I honestly can't blame a man for not being ok with dating a cam girl. Deep down, I wish men were more accepting of what we do, because the majority of us never meet our customers in person. But I crave human interaction, and the touch of a man's hands. My interaction with people is mostly on social media, where I'm networking, talking with with fans, or performing on webcam. I can tell you that it has been two years since I have hugged a man.
Perhaps being a webcam model is the reason why I'm somewhat afraid to date. A majority of men who I've allowed into my space ended up trying to use me for "freebies" rather than trying to get to know me.
I don't plan on doing this forever; however, it's how I survive right now. It's how I keep clothes on my back and food in the fridge. Plus, I haven't quite figured out what I want to be when I grow up yet. And I may never figure it out. But one thing I refuse to do is feel less than or hard on myself because I've chosen a non-traditional career path for the time being.
I'm still learning a lot about myself, and my hope is to teach women like me that it's OK to not fit society's standard of what beauty is as long as you are kind to yourself as well as others.
You can catch up with me on Twitter and Instagram @christyoncam.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Playa del Carmen is the perfect vacation getaway for anyone who loves beautiful beaches, delicious food, and fun activities. Located on the Caribbean Sea side of Mexico, PDC is nestled right between the spring break hub Cancun and the growing hotspot Tulum. Oftentimes overlooked for some of the other popular cities, I found Playa del Carmen to have just as much in terms of vacation necessities, with a more local and authentic Mexican feel.
The Ultimate Guide to Playa del Carmen
Playa del Carmen is perfect for a solo traveler looking to spend a few days in paradise or the group chat that wants to hang on the beach all day and turn up at night. I found the area to have a little bit of everything for everyone, so here’s my guide on where to eat, stay, and play for the ultimate Playa del Carmen vacation.
Getting Around
The easiest way to get to Playa del Carmen is to fly into Cancun Airport and then make your way south. You can rent a car and drive the one hour down to PDC, take a taxi, or you can catch the ADO bus, which will cost you less than $40 roundtrip. Overall, Playa del Carmen is an easy and safe city to navigate. If you stay on or close to Quinta Avenida (5th Avenue), you’ll be within walking distance to a ton of stores, restaurants, and nightlife. Most taxi rides were between 100 and 150 pesos, which is less than $10 USD. Renting a car is also an option, but with things being very walkable and taxis being fairly inexpensive, it’s not a necessity. Another great way to get around is bikes, which you can rent to use throughout the city.
Stay
The Thompson Hotel is for the folks who know that where you stay on vacation absolutely does matter. This luxury property offers chic rooms and upscale suites, onsite restaurants, and a spa for those who are looking to pamper themselves. One of the standout features of this property is the rooftop infinity pool, which has 360-degree views of the city and is absolutely stunning. This is your type of hotel if you value immaculate views, delicious eats, prime location, and live DJs.
Grand Hyatt offers a prime beachfront location, while also being steps away from the mix on Quinta Avenida. I like that this property allows you to take in the calm beauty of the Caribbean, while also being in close proximity to the action within the city. You get both authentic Mexican food and some international fare at the resort restaurants, and this property also has an infinity pool that gives views of the ocean.
Airbnb
If you don’t have the funds to spend on a hotel stay, but still want clean and comfortable accommodations, do not overlook Airbnb. You can find super reasonably priced apartments close to the strip that will leave you in the heart of all the action. Many of these buildings feature 24-hour security, infinity pools, top-notch gyms, and rooftop bars. This is a great way to save some money, while not sacrificing the quality of the accommodations you like.
Eat
One of the best parts of being near the Caribbean Sea is having access to fresh seafood, and Ictio Fish House is the place to go for it. Located just a block off of the 5th Avenida strip, this small seafood restaurant is a quieter change compared to some of the busier and more touristy restaurants located directly on the strip. They have both indoor and outdoor seating available, but if you can snag a spot at the bar, the service is top notch and you can watch the bartender put together your craft cocktail.
Everything they serve is delicious and tastes authentic, so you really can't go wrong when ordering. But to start, the crispy jumbo shrimp and calamari are perfect for sharing. Other must-try dishes are the garlic butter catch of the day and the adobo-styled octopus.
El Fogon
Ask anyone for a recommendation for the best tacos in Playa del Carmen, and I promise you they will point you to El Fogon. You know a spot is good when it’s filled with just as many locals as tourists, and there’s a line outside at 1 p.m. This no-frills spot serves up authentic Mexican favorites like el pastor tacos, chicken quesadillas, guacamole, and margaritas. Every dish comes with the fixings and is not only super filling but extremely affordable. You can easily get a full meal and a drink for less than $20 USD. They have more than one location, so you can taste some of their delicious tacos no matter what part of PDC you stay in.
L&L by Lara&Luca
Before you hit the beach for day drinking, you need a hearty breakfast from L&L to start your day. This cute cafe is the smaller “sister” restaurant to Lara&Luca, another popular breakfast and lunch cafe in Playa. I liked that L&L is less busy and more laid back than the other location. They serve up typical breakfast and lunch items such as eggs, coffee, sandwiches, and French toast.
My favorite item was the ham and cheese croissant, which could be enjoyed on their outdoor seating or taken to enjoy on the go. They also have yummy pastries, but these sell out quickly, so be sure to go early.
El Pirata
If you’re a fried fish lover like me and appreciate sea-to-table service, El Pirata is the place to go. This restaurant is tucked away towards the end of the main 5th Avenida strip, so you might miss it if you aren’t looking for it. The restaurant serves up a plethora of tasty dishes like fresh ceviche, garlic shrimp, and shrimp empanadas, and has a full beverage menu for your libation needs. However, the fried fish is truly the star of the show.
When you order, they bring to your table a few of the fresh fish that were caught that day and allow you to choose which lucky one you want them to fry for you. And let me tell you, picking your own fried fish just hits different! It was one of my favorite meals in Playa del Carmen.
Play
Food Tour
There are so many delicious places to eat in Playa del Carmen so taking a local food tour is the best way to try a little bit of everything. I love taking food tours when I travel because not only is it a great way to try a range of different local dishes, but the tour guides usually give you a history lesson during the tour where you learn more about the history of certain dishes and the country as a whole. In Playa Del Carmen, I took a local food tour with GetYourGuide, where we stopped at several different locations for tacos, fresh fruit juice, tamales, and more.
I value it when there’s a local leading the tour because it’s a way to support the locals and also learn things that only people native to the location would know. While we walked, the guide shared a lot of insight about Mexico and Playa del Carmen, while giving recommendations for places to eat during our trip.
Cenotes
Cenotes are natural sinkholes or underground caverns that have pools of water in which you can explore, dive, and swim in. You will find cenotes all around Mexico, but there are several in the Playa del Carmen region. Cenotes vary in size and also the depth of water, so even if you don’t know how to swim, you can find a cenote to explore at your own comfort level. Two beautiful cenotes you can explore near PDC are Cenote Azul and Cenote Dos Ojos.
Cenote Azul is perfect for snorkeling because of the crystal clear waters that allow you to see the colorful fish and plant life underneath. Cenote Dos Ojos is perfect for explorers due to the mesmerizing underground caverns and rock formations throughout. You can take a trip to the cenotes on your own or book a tour that may take you to several different cenotes.
Beaches
Playa Del Carmen has some of the most beautiful beaches in the Caribbean, so beach hopping is a must while vacationing in the area. Whether you want a chill, relaxing beach day or you are thinking of jet skiing on the blue waters, there is a beach for you. There are several beaches along the coast of Playa del Carmen, some that are within walking distance of most hotels, and others that you may need to travel to get to but are totally worth it.
Playa Mamitas is one of the most popular beaches in PDC due to its location near the heart of the city, and also because of the crystal clear waters and white sand. Playa Mamitas is also a great spot for entertainment and the occasional beach party for the folks wanting to turn up. Playacar Beach is another great option that is located in the upscale Playacar neighborhood, south of downtown Playa del Carmen.
It is known for its pristine beauty and laid-back atmosphere, making it a popular destination for travelers seeking relaxation and seclusion. Other beaches to consider are Punta Esmeralda and Xpu-ha Beach, so you’ll have an option for every day of your trip, depending on your mood.
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