Boris Kodjoe On How He & Nicole Ari Parker Keep Their Love Strong After 20 Years
Picture this: It's the year 2000. Rhinestone crop tops and wedge heels are totally in season. Nelly's "Country Grammar" is on the radio and Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe are on the set of Soul Food giving us our entire lives in an intense make-out sesh. Little did Nicole and Boris know, what they once thought was a fleeting moment with a hot coworker would actually turn out to the beginning of their 20-year love story.
Two decades, two children, and countless priceless memories later, the couple is celebrating two decades since they first met and are forever giving us the feels.
Boris recently appeared on an episode of The Real and revealed what's next for the soon-to-be empty nesters, and according to him, it's a whole lot of sex. When the 46-year-old actor was asked about the next chapter in his 15-year marriage, he had this to say:
"Get rid of the kids. It's going to be a party. We're going to party on the way of dropping him off at college. I love my kids but you know, be real. They, they mess you up good when they come."
In the past, Nicole has spilled all the details on the prayer she said to find her Boaz (well, in her case, Boris), but according to her, the key to finding true love is loving yourself, first. In an exclusive interview with xoNecole in 2016, the now-49-year-old actress explained:
"A woman has to have her own source of happiness, you gotta have your own thing. Not necessarily like, 'I got my own thing, I don't need you, I don't want you.' But more like, your own source of happiness, your own thing that makes you happy so that when you come to the dinner table, when you come home, you have something to add to the conversation. You know? 'Like I have something to share with you!' So I'm not depending on him for my happiness."
Thanks to this advice, Boris and Nicole's throwback romance is still in full effect. Along with being your own source of happiness, first, Boris says that keeping the romance alive is a must in his marriage:
"She's already super sexy. I think it's taking each other in [that keeps the relationship alive.] Being present in each other's lives, listen to each other. Do the little things. Send texts throughout the day. Send flowers. Going on date nights."
Above all things, Nicole and Boris stress the importance of not becoming roommates in your relationship, despite how hard that may actually be in real life:
"Our life revolves around our kids. It's our priority. Family life is very important and sometimes we forget that we were here first. And sometimes I have to remind her- 'Look, um, I need some time with you alone. We need to go away.' Even if it is just for an afternoon, that's very important. And people can regret that. Because you don't want to turn into roommates. You don't want to go into 'roommate zone'. That's always dangerous."
Featured image by Instagram/@nicoleariparker.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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According To TikTok, This Wellness Concoction Is The Cheat Code To Getting That 'Slip N Slide'
Being a woman is no easy feat. Don’t get me wrong, I love it here – I do! But, it’s not for the faint of heart. And, by faint of heart, I mean men.
Here’s the short list of things we navigate (in no particular order) that make me know God is, in fact, a woman: menstruation, men (good, bad, and ugly), motherhood, and maintaining the motherfucking magic in our relationships. We hold shit down. We get shit done.
There’s simply no denying that, at our best, women are godly! We’re also imaginative, crafty, and intuitive when we allow ourselves to be. We listen to and know our bodies like no other. Though, with Western medicine and generally being displaced from our roots, I think many of us have become out of touch with what’s natural to us and for us. However, I believe we’re attempting to return to what feels right–what feels natural.
TikTok has made it a bit easier as we’ve been able to hear first-person accounts of natural remedies such as okra water and its benefits for all things womanly, and then some. You’ve seen what I’m talking about–all the hype around okra water providing additional vaginal lubrication for women and also, its ability to make for easier labor for expecting mothers.
@charleanleonora We unlocking new levels of self care. Don’t sleep on this stuff and get my e-book! 🤎 #plantbased #naturalremedy #okrawater #womenhygiene
Benefits of Drinking Okra Water
@goldennn_xo6 I hope this helps 💕 #naturalbirth #homebirth #okrawater #okraforpregnancy #naturallaboranddelivery #fypシ #fyp #thefindguru
Between its believed contributions to digestive health and blood sugar control, drinking okra water has a lot going for itself in terms of possible health benefits. One of its most sought-after benefits is the helping hand it lends to those laboring children. Though there isn't a lot of science to support these claims, there’s lots of talk about how okra water can assist with the birthing process, with labor said to be easier through reduced pain, and the added lubrication is thought to help the baby "slide out" during the actual birth.
The believed increase in vaginal lubrication that the concoction is said to create is believed to be another benefit of regularly consuming okra water. Let me add there have been women warning against just how much additional lubrication (Smuckers, gushy-gushy, that wet-wet) it can cause. And, I would say heed this warning if you are someone who feels embarrassed by maybe the idea of squirting and excessive wetness.
The bulk of the knowledge around these particular health benefits is anecdotal, and while there does seem to be other health benefits, we can’t be certain of which ones and the quantity of nutrients being infused into the water in this form.
How To Make Okra Water
@maryamjhampton Replying to @RH How I make Okra Water! #okrawater #healthtips #womenshealth
Making okra water is a rather straightforward process. The simplest way is taking okra pods (frozen or fresh but preferably organic) and putting them in an encapsulated bottle with water to soak for up to 24 hours. Once you’ve made it, rest assured it will have a very thick and slimy texture–this is where it gets subjective. I could try it and tell you my experience, but I’ve seen some people say the flavor isn’t that bad while others say that they can’t handle the texture.
But, once you’ve made the okra water, feel free to mix it in with drinks like lemonade or a complimentary tea. And, as a pro tip, you can even add mint to infuse with your water to further enhance the taste. Though, I’m thinking when people are trying to enhance the taste it’s the texture they’re trying to distract from as many people seem to think the flavor is manageable–texture? Not so much.
You can also add okra water to smoothies, or make popsicles from it – the sky’s the limit when you’re an okra pod.
I know there’s this natural urge to be distrustful of things that haven’t been proven by…well…Western medicine. Though the research is not there in that regard, it seems to be common knowledge and a useful remedy amongst the African community.
I want to point out that our ancestors disseminated and passed along information for generations anecdotally. They shared their first-hand accounts of what worked and what didn’t work. So now, here I am, sharing the stories of others because this is how we get the recipes back! I do encourage everyone to do their due diligence when going the holistic route.
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Featured image by Westend61/Getty Images